Wonkette
Well this is pretty nifty! Now you know what to get your editors for Christmas. [BrakeNutz, Gizmodo, Jalopnik]
WONKETTE WISH LIST
Oh Hey Look GLOWING Truck Nutz
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9:43 AM
on Tue October 7 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
2555 Views
GAAAAAAHHHH!
The only saving grace of TruckNutz was that I couldn’t see them in the dark!
Oh good, everyones nutz glow red after shaving. Whew!
I thought that belly-butt guy got another implant or something. Glow in the dark belly-butt, yay!
Haha. Aren’t those the glowing trucknutz from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?
It is officially the end of times.
Selah.
These will go great with the Street FX on my Civic.
You’re braking my balls, Wonkette.
I wonder what Rich Lowry would say about these here, illuminated testes.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chez-pazienza/rich-lowry-the-william-f_b_131978.html
Best alt-text ever.
But would they look good on a snow mobile?
O-kay.
Good pumpkin-carving pattern, though. Hm.
If you stare closely, I think you see a kitty. Why a kitty is standing behind translucent man-danglers is beyond me, but there you have it.
Cool. Priktonite.
This will send the Dow skyrocketing up another 150 points.
…but can they play Free Bird?
I think this is what Sarah Palin means by “exceptional America.”
Yes, indeedy.
That’s a pair of hot nutz!
economic collapse? check. charismatic muslin presidential candidate poised to take control? check. red glowing truck nutz? double check.
it’s official. the apocalypse is upon us.
Yay! Sara is back!
Do you ever tell your family about us and the glory of your job?
If they’re orange they are good for Halloween. Strap some to your eight year old and tell everyone he’s going as a rural southern Ford F-150.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Perfect for my Mini
Can’t you just hold a flashlight up to your balls and get the same affect?
Ah! That’s fucking scary! Truly these are the testicles of the Devil!
NoWireHangers: Maybe with a halogen, but that gives you a wicked contact burn if you aren’t careful.
Not that I….nevermind.
Shouldn’t those be blue?
I’ll be damn. TruckNutz are, apparently, their own meme.
*sigh*
Perfect for my bicycle’s seat.
Even the nutz have left-leaning bias. jesus christ!
All I can say to those who complain that America is no longer the innovation and industrial leader of the world — Kiss our Nutz
“Yeah Ima over the road trucker carrying quite a load”
I have the most unsettling feeling that your nutz are staring at me.
This is what E.T.’s testicles looked like.
I thought the right nut hangs lower, not the left nut. Unless, that is, the TruckNutz are viewed as if the wearer is facing away from the truck, such that his peen would be the truck hitch… oh, never mind.
I see a holy vision in those nutz. It’s just like when I picked a booger that looked exactly like Pope Boniface III or was it the II, I disremember.
From the great singer/songwriter C.W. McCall (Anybody want to read my “Convoy, a Broadway Musical” adaptation?):
It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
And a Kenworth pullin’ logs
Cab-over Pete with a reefer on
And a Jimmy haulin’ hogs
We’s headin’ for bear on Eye-one-O
’bout a mile outta Shakeytown
I says “Pigpen, this here’s Rubber Duck”
“And I’m about to put the hammer down”
(’cause we got a little ole convoy rockin’ thru the night)
(Yeah, we got a little ole convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?)
(Come on and join our convoy, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way)
(We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy ‘cross the USA)
(Convoy)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/convoy-lyrics-cw-mccall.html
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
had some very shiny ‘nads
and if you ever saw them
you would be completely glad
All of the other reindeer
went around with glands so dark
They wouldn’t let poor Rudolph
roughhouse with them in the park
Then one foggy Xmas eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your plums so bright
We need you as a tail light
Then all the reindeers loved him
They’re brown-nosers, let’s face that fact
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
glows all the way from ‘rack to back!
If they would alternate between red and blue flashes we would have a great replacement for the Drudge
flashing light, dog on it!
Whoops, I didn’t mean to bring Santorum into the discussion.
Really, seeing this is my fault. I should have known something like this would happen if I clicked on Wonkette. It’s like Lucy and the football and Charlie Brown, like the Presidency and the White House and John McCain, like tax money and domestic spending and voters, like circus and children and Michael…
Garble: Best. Haloween. Costume. EVER.
I wonder if Bristol and Levi are registered at BrakeNutz.com?
They’re BEAUTIFUL.
And holy hell the description of them is just flat out secksie!
“WHAT I KNOW ABOUT BRAKE NUTS”
“There was a brand called TruckNutz out of Florida that were perfectly symmetrical and smooth. There was a brand called Your Nutz out of Santee California that were wrinkled with veins and one nut hung a little lower. There were some that looked like bulls balls out of Bullhead City Arizona. Then there were some that looked just like the Your Nutz truck nuts called Bumper Nuts, but they were made of aluminum. The BullsBalls brand were just a bit larger, but much heavier and more costly.”
We are all brake nutz now. This dood knows his Truck NUTZ and therefore deserves business from all of us. Buy your brake nutz, today!
Servo: only when you squeeze them.
I’ve seen 2 pairs of Ghetto Truck Nutz (KHROME BAYBEE) hanging off of escalades here in Chi. These brakenutz need blingee.
I must be very unobservant, because until your pic here, I was completely unaware of exactly what “Truck Nuts” or “Break Nuts” were. Sigh. I do stupid things when I drive, like pay attention to what the brain dead drivers around me are doing so I can avoid being killed.
shoeho: I apologize to all of you for jamming this post with shortsylike comments, but how can you not know what Truck Nutz are? Are you a communist? Do you paint everything pinko and wait fer yer quota to be met everyday? Truck Nutz are a part of the American dream, er nightmare, whichever you prefer.
shoeho: Now, of course, you can blame wonkette for your almost-inevitable future accident whilst scanning every passing truckopotamus for a set of these beauties.
Can the lights be changed to red and green? If so, I want a couple dozen to decorate my christmas tree.
Do they come in blue?
There’s a brake nutz video, with audio commentary. Left turn signal - left nut blinkies (assume you are facing the nutz), right turn signal - right nut blinkies.
http://www.brakenutz.com/100_1712.MOV
Great, now all I can picture is Sara buried under all the glowing trucknutz sent in by Wonketteers..
Gopherit v2.0: And imagine how much more fun you can have with the 12 volt strapped to you to keep them glowing?
Wait a minute, Sarah. Why didn’t you mention in the article that there is an actual movie of the trucknutz in action on the brakenutz site? That’s the story!
Someone should Tea Bag Sarah Palin with these nuts.
Someone should Tea Bag Sarah Palin with these nuts!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Excuse me but our editor is Sara, not Sarah.
shortsshortsshorts: I drizes very small but powerful furein car. Has to make sur monstertruks do now squeesh meez be4 I kin getz out uf way. No timez to dwell on nutz.
Gopherit v2.0: Thankyou, thankyouverymuch!
“I’ll be right here, Ell-i-ott.”
StrangelyBrown: Thank you. Another childhood memory thrashed beyond recognition.
11/11/08 was the official date of TruckNutz ascendancy. All your nutz are belong to us.