Wonkette
WALNUTS 2: NUT HARDER starring John “Walnuts!” McCain, produced by SalvatoreDIntern and starring Julia Kobos. And your beloved original from 2006 is here.
OH WALNUTS!
Two Years After: New McCain Walnuts Video!
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Tagged:
- 2006,
- 2008 ,
- john mccain,
- oh walnuts!,
- video,
- WALNUTS,
- youtube
And the world fell to its knees.
If the Vietcong had used this tape to torture Mccain, he would have given up even more war intel.
That was a violation of Walnuts and his recently obtained principles.
Agreed. I couldn’t get through two minutes.. I wish the Kobos was Amy Sedaris.
Like most sequels, it’s bloated and completely misses the point of the original.
“Keep your bars up, America! In a McCain administration, you’ll never have to ‘roam’ for freedom again”. Sounds dumb, but at least it avoids talking about the economy.
This must be what it’s like when you “spice up” your debate drinking games with ayahuasca… A vision quest of dumbness.
I don’t care what people think, I thought it was epic. And an accurate, as far as his supporters and their views and all of their collective (ir)rationals. The crowd shots and slogans were the best.
Kill All Hippies, Blame the Poor!, DEEZ WAL-NUTZ, Kick His Ass. Seabass
“What about you sir, why are you voting for John McCain?
“I believe in God, don’t I?”
This really is a pretty pathetic video. When I come to Wonkette I’m looking for wit, not this drivel.
Dave
http://www.republicofdave.com
I come to wonkette for references to BrakeNutz. http://www.brakenutz.com/
Anonymous Office Zombie: I don’t care what people think = McCain-Palin Official Campaign Slogan
I’m not that crazy about derivative products ideas. Sure, Truck Nutz are a classic, and Walnutz! was clever, but now we get BrakeNutz. The big markets should be Golfbag Nutz, and especially Mortarboard Nutz, for graduates. If you can’t sell Mortarboard Nutz to grads at U. Texas and U. Oklahoma, you can’t sell meth in Wasilla.
Now I have a strange craving for GrapeNutz.
The video is no longer available for viewing. I therefore the lack courage which America needs in the face of the wrenching, neocon-caused poverty of the 21st century.
I’m singing in the rain,
Just singing in the rain,
What a glorious feeling,
Kill me.
villageatrois: You silly-silly-billy gloomy, gloomy Gus. Why, there will always be a happy little bluebird singing in the sky.
Just take your out Glock and shoot it. Makes for damn good eatin’.
Lead singer Julia Kobos was recently graduated from: tiny-yelping-baby murdering, neo-Marxist, piss-urine-yellow-on-our-noble-flag Bennington College. She gained a major in organic oat sprout cultivation and a minor in Che Guevara.
‘Splain that association to me, Mister Senator McNuggets. ‘Splain that, please.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/jkobos
And we call lawyers ‘whores‘.
S.Luggo: why are you talking to yourself?
Just take your out Glock and shoot it. Makes for damn good eatin’.
I bet you’ve never shot a gun.
Walnutz is saved! His running mate is Governator up in the Clown-dyke. And she’s all pretty lookin and such as. And you can evaluate her state of arousal through her parka and winter sweater.
I think the book version is still better.
I wanted to like it….
The “I believe in God don’t I” guy was pretty good, however.
I say it’s a phony. There was no “I’m Walnuts and I approved this message.”
Still, I liked the ride up the wargasm chart.
I stumbled into this before 6:00 a.m. I opened the video straight from the news reader thinking, “Oh, cool, a Wonkette recommended visual.” Well, you know what I saw.
Does it ever fucking end?
Worst McCain impression imaginable.
Jesus, am I liveblogging this video?
Coffee, need coffee.
I’ll get you for this, Wonkette.
Did you hear the one about Jerome Corsi going to Kenya, and the authorities there detaining him? No? It’s true!
See this BBC story.
wheelie: Haha! Can’t wait to see Wonkette’s graphic on that one!
2druk2phluq: “Worst McCain impression imaginable.”
Has anyone ever seen a McCain impersonation at all, let alone a good one? Where are you, Dana Carvey….?
What was with the big talking-purple-boot dream sequence? I kept hoping it was going to turn into some sort of hideous orgy, like Topless Robot always does. Alas! This just ended up being some over-produced derivative of the gloriously avant-garde original.
C’mon Sal! Challenge us! I need something appalling to roll around in, like that dog does whenever he finds something foul and rotten.
Sucks. Ass.
so, um, yeah.
Hey, I just found this book: Spanish for Law Enforcement Professionals.
Translate this:
Levante cada seno, uno a la vez.
I watched about 30 seconds. Really, that was unbelievably, incredibly lame. Where were the Oompa-loompas and Harvey-sized bunny rabbits?
me cry tears of blood.
I miss the Raining McCain Girls.
Nut hard enough.
That shit had me cracking up.
“If God tortures you, well by golly, torture the body politic of America”?
Where are the Academy Award nominations?
Maverick this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/weekinreview/05schwartz.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
I’d say he is more of a Mercury Comet…
Dear God that was long.
A 10-minute Internet video is like a 5-hour movie; it just doesn’t work. Then again, it did inspire this comment: “This really is a pretty pathetic video. When I come to Wonkette I’m looking for wit, not this drivel.”
ExecutorElassus: Seriously, it was like a lame ripoff of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but without the funny.
I believe in God, don’t I?
Yep. That was the best part.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Yes, yes, I couldn’t get through that. That’s 10 sec of my life I’d like back.
Also, can we persuade WALNUTS! to go to India so he can become BOLLYNUTS! Or something.
I waited two years for this?
This will make you all feel better.
Here are the funniest videos I’ve found about this election:
http://www.ScienceSez.com
I liked how the bad green screen effects made portions of Walnuts’ head disappear.
I liked the whole thing. Rising up the wargasm chart was pretty hilarious.
Brevity is the sould of wit, Ms Kobos. You knew that once.
Gopherit v2.0: Dammit. Soul.
heyzeus: On a truck with Washington plates, no less. Well, venture outside Seattle and it’s a whole different ball o’ wax.
And, zomgz, WTF will I do if my TruckNutz are chipped or scratched?
“The Bumpernuts truck nuts were more expenisve [sic] because they were made of aluminum. Also, they would have been painted on the outside, which I thought would lead to possible chipping or scratching.”
The scale of things that suck now goes like this. Dust Buster —–> Vacum Cleaner ——> Divine Brown ——-> Black Holes ——> Walnuts 2
As a prof of mine once wrote on one of my papers, “Conciseness is a virtue that ought to be more widely appreciated.”
The genius of the original is that it was quick, to the point, and yet somewhat absurd. This was just… too long. Of course it’s a bad John McCain impression, that’s not the point! Except, the longer it is, the more you notice it’s a pretty bad John McCain impression.
It’s time to send this maverick to the glue factory!
lame
I never understand why these amateur sketch videos are so long. The average sketch on SNL/Kids in the Hall/Mr. Show/whatever is five minutes. The Digital Shorts on SNL are often no longer than three minutes. But these guys who crack their friends up and took a couple classes at Second City always think they’re hilarious enough to sustain seven to ten.
“I believe in God, don’t I?” was the best part. It should have started off with three one-liners from the crowd, then cut to Walnuts. In fact, they should reopen the Final Cut Pro project and cut this shit down to half its length.
WAIT JUST A DAMN SECOND.
For two years I’ve been operating under the assumption that Walnuts was being played by an awkward adolescent boy with a possible pituitary condition.
YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT IT’S BEEN A GIRL THIS WHOLE TIME? I’m speechless.
bethby: I agree. If by “funny” you mean “really stoopid.”
I thought it was funny. You are all a bunch of arugalitists.