Uhh: “On a recent reporting trip to Alaska, TNR senior editor Noam Scheiber came across a piece of paper from an old Wasilla city budget, on the back of which Palin doodled and brainstormed her potential mayoral campaign themes (‘time for a change,’ ‘you would be my boss!’) and qualifications (‘life-long alaskan,’ ‘NRA supporter,’ ‘taxpayer!’).” The PDF is kind of comical but mostly illegible. Still, good lord this woman makes it tough. It is the job of COMEDIANS to PRETEND that the dumb governor likes to doodle about her silly ambitions on the back of government-held paper. [The Plank, letter (PDF)]

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  1. Satire was brutally slain earlier this month, found bound and gagged and strangled with moose entrails. The suspect, Sarah Palin, remains at large.

  2. Other qualifications are: eternally pregnant, cute! and submissive during roll plays (related to ‘you would be my boss’). Actually, I think I read this in the local alt-weekly personal ads.

  3. It would have been nice if she had scrawled the interlocked VH (Van Halen symbol) or Def Leapord somewhere on this thing. Otherwise… she’s really just one of the most simple minded people to have ever lived isn’t she? I mean, this is no joke is it? She’s really that stupid!

  4. Hmmm, wonder if she has mania? She kind of starts off orderly, does a bulleted list with education, but by the end you can tell she’s like “oh, shit, THAT’S a good idea, and, oooh, talk about taxes–but not too much!!!–and then, oooh yeah, that’s good, write that down, no, fuck, cross that out, oh yeah, Mayor, and, what 87/year, yeah, good, oooh, list those names, yeah…”

  5. At least she didn’t dot the ‘i’ with a heart or a tiny pitbull. Although, I doubt she could draw the latter…or the former for that matter. Really I’m just surprised she spelled her name correctly.

  6. Where’s the “I heart Todd” line with xoxoxo written all around it? And does she really think “Part of the Bureaucracy” is a good political tagline? (Sigh…in which she spelled bureaucracy wrong.)

  7. Of course, John McCain’s youthful doodles are in a national history museum in DC as the earliest examples of documents written in the colonies.

    Geddit, because he’s old!!

  8. …I’m gonna have to start shredding all of my doodles from now on. I cant have my drawings of breast, penises and stick figures having sex floating around.

  9. Whoa whoa, it gets cut off at the top, but she wrote “Annexation from…” from what? Annex Alaska from America?? WHAT IS YOUR REAL PLAN

    Also, her blabbering at the bottom has several instances of misusing the apostrophe. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a LIBRUL ELITIST but for fuck’s sake, people in high-ranking roles should be able to spell at a seventh-grade level

  10. [re=122468]NoWireHangers[/re]: …don’t you mean Alaska? Didn’t they say that is where all of us will immigrate to when the apocalypse begins?

  11. I have to admit her doodle at least covers some issues, unlike W’s “I can has pee now?” mash note to Condi.

    [re=122448]HIROHITO99[/re]: That’s Def LEPPARD, dude. Rock it!

  12. Young peoples involved in their city!

    Ah. So that’s why she keeps pushin’ ’em out. She’s just creating her own excited base.

  13. [re=122474]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Seriously, I’m going to have to go back and destroy all my “Dave J. sleeps with Pam Beasley” fan-fic. THAT shit could be embarrassing.

  14. [re=122485]Outstando[/re]: She was probably brainstorming on her speech if McCain dropped dead after his inauguration.

    -Israel! No second guessing!
    -No second Holocaust! Annihilate Iran.
    -Iraq did WTC!
    And the like.

  15. [re=122478]Dave J.[/re]: I frequently make those kinds of notes when there’s a word I read or hear that I need to look up in the dictionary later.

    And usually I forget. [/ominous]

  16. In about 30 years, when today’s teenagers and 20-somethings are running for office, can you imagine the amount of dirt that will be dug up? Every single detail of an 18 year old’s life today is documented online for eternity. I can’t wait for the time when Presidential candidates will be held to task on shit they said on their Myspace or Twitter or blog comments or whatever else 20 years ago

  17. Slightly OT but Jonathan Martin @ Politico has this headline on his blog: DeLay: McCain’s “hard to swallow”

    Oh, where to start???

  18. Are we to believe there isn’t one graphologist in the house who can’t give us a snarkified analysis of Miss Moosebrains’ hoofwriting here???

  19. [re=122507]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “If McCain wins the election, we’ve got just as much work to do as if Obama won,” DeLay said. “I’ve known McCain for 23 years, and McCain’s hard to swallow.”

    More: “His stance on global warming, immigration, campaign finance, affirmative action,” DeLay said, “it’s just a whole list of things that is not going to appeal to conservative Republicans. And if he becomes president, teaming up with the Democrats, we’re going to have a lot of work to do to stop them.”

    Hmmmm. I don’t know that McCain would be “teaming up” with anyone on anything. DeLay and Gingrich. Man I wish those guys shared a prison cell. I wish the fleas of a thousand camels would infest their armpits. I wish…how many more wishes I got?

  20. Christ. it’s like my high school GF’s doodlings for her campaign for class president. She was stupid and fundamentally evil, too.

  21. [re=122514]sanantonerose[/re]: Also throw in jail Rove, Libby, Feith, Rumsfeld & Wolfowitz & a thousand angels will smile. Throw in Bush & Cheney & we will all get raptured with Bible Spice.

  22. Her name sure is written large. There must be some elitist phsycoanalitical reason for this. Why did Sarah Palins father touch her butthole?

  23. Heh. Caribou Barbie is late for a speaking engagement in Florida. They did all the rah rah pre-speeches and she’s still not there. It sounds, on CNN Live Online, like there is a high school band filling in for her. Sounds vastly more intelligent.

  24. Let me just say how nice it is to have finally registered at the Wonkette. I have been lurking waaay to long. Since I am new to posting here I just got real nervous and my brane pulled a Palin and now I can’t post the witty quip I think I once thought of.

    thx for letting me in. :)

  25. OOOOOOOOOO! I just had a happy thought to share with everyone.

    So, Obama will win this election (unless they find out about his illegitimate white baby), and then…after four years, we get another election… which means… SARAH PALIN WILL RUN AGAIN!!! Maybe even for presidential candidate for the repubs (if not as Veep). Of course, she’ll lose that too, and in the meantime we get more Tina Fey, more moose jokes, o dear, we are all blessed.

    The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.

  26. It’s a bit faint, but the name “Scott” is there circled with a heart. Below that: “Mrs. Scott Richter”, “Mrs. Sarah Richter”, “Sarah Richter, widow of Todd Palin”, etc.

  27. [re=122548]facehead[/re]: yeah, bright. except! Hopey will preside over a super giant economic downturn and terrist attack, and America will be ready to vote for the End of the World, starring Alpine Trash in a fiery chariot pulled by moose and rearing her head into Russian air space. so I wouldn’t worry about your 401k’s tanking — live for today!

  28. [re=122544]Servo[/re]: Hope springs eternal. But seriously, I’ve listened to every patriotic piece of music there is, now. Poor high school band. Sarah is slowly killing them with being so late.

  29. [re=122545]PigeonPoop[/re]: As a newcomer, I have to warn you: unless you pledge your eternal allegiance to Ralph Nader (whilst proselytizing for him), Ken Layne and shortsshortsshorts (they’re lovers) will come to your abode and defile every orifice you have in an unspeakable manner.

  30. Awww. CNN gave up. Just as Governor Crist was supposed to take the stage! It would have been FABulous! But still no Barbie, when CNN abandoned streaming footage.

  31. Hey, do you know what I learned from CSI Miami – Florida is a messed up place. I should have a point here but I don’t – potentially Sarah Palin can become our VP, who needs sense then.

  32. @ [re=122563]facehead[/re]:

    Only new as a poster here. I have been reading the replies here for, mmmmm, centuries now. Yes, I’m that old.
    Not a big Nader worshiper, would rather proselytize Adam West. And all are welcome into my adobe for orifice defiling, if by orifice defiling you mean dental work.

  33. Barbie just went off on some guy yelling at her during her speech. “You know what sir? Bless your heart. My son is over fighting in Iraq to protect your right to protest.”

    Translation of “Bless your heart” (at least in the south): Fuck YOU.

  34. [re=122582]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I’m watching the mccain speech in Arizona. The crowd is COMPLETELY in his tank, … it is so bad I’m kinda waiting for someone in the crowd to get up and yell “Kill Da Nigga!”

  35. [re=122582]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Was the follow up anything like, “…and if he gives, as Lincoln said, his last full measure of devotion, I’ll just spread my legs and let Taaahd plant his seed into my fertile womb, as I truly have nothing else to offer America.”


  36. [re=122589]facehead[/re]: UGH. I’m going to switch to that, as soon as Bible Spice stops taking credit for keeping Tina Fey employed. Seriously. She said that. I’m not even making that up.

    [re=122594]Servo[/re]: And she can see Russia!

  37. [re=122598]FreshCliches[/re]: I might have missed that part. My brain tends to act in a defensive/protective manner whenever I hear her voice.

  38. This is the funniest doodle ever. OK, except for the secksy mancock that Larry Craig drew (with a doo-doo-dipped finger) on the wall of the airport shitterstall while he sat on the toilet with a vibrating egg up his ass waiting for some sweet toiletman to blow his “mind.”

  39. So does that say 8 and 7/9ths Years? What the hell is that, some kind of secret masonic club? The amount of time she commanded the Hanoi division to hold Walnuts?

    OMG, the 775-225 must be her phone number!! Let’s prank call her! (ha ha, they can only afford 6 digit telephone numbers in Alaska)

  40. I think the 775-225 was the vote tally when she won her seat on the city council….

    And the Mayor of Wassila made 87K a year back then? Damned the Mayor of Tucson makes less than that NOW and he oversees a population almost as large ans the entire frickin state of Alaska!!

  41. Hey, checkitout, her unintelligible speech patterns are exactly like her unintelligible scribbles!

    As for the seemingly-random addition of “Slivers” and “Ardor,” I’m pretty sure that those are potential baby names.

  42. [re=122704]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Regarding the Blingee, let’s see how the rest of the night goes. Do they have Blingee Meth Lab icons?

  43. [re=122719]nietzscheprojectile[/re]: McPsychoAngry says that, in order to insure victory in Iranistaria, it is always an option to invade (invasionize, as the current Commander-in-Chief would say) any locale which shelters towel heads, Islamos, Hindustanis or has duskies which speak a foreign language. I assume that these persons include the Welsh, the Greeks and the Sugarhill Gang. Well ah, hip hop, hippity hop …

    Notting Hill beware.

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