You people are fast! We announced our contest with Hachette Book Group less than an hour ago, and we’ve already got about a hundred entries. So, let’s pick some winners now and get this over with, because otherwise we will have to read through a THOUSAND seven-word poems about why you need 11 political books.
Thanks for playing, everyone!
- Need box they come in as house. — Alex Winnett, Washington DC
- Books alight warm hobo beans, whore diamonds. — Paul Roberts, Philadelphia PA
- My husband’s been on unemployment since December. — Bridget X., Atlanta GA
[Is this too sad? --Ed.] - With books, I’ll start Detroit’s first library. — Christopher B. Schneider, Detroit MI
- I hate my family, need Christmas gifts. — Pete Gaines, Lawrence, KS
{ 42 comments }
Poor wiener doggie. I haz sad.
I would have wrote “kill kill kill kill killin’ the poor” except that I don’t read books because they’re for teh gayz, so don’t worry about it.
I’d have to vote for the second to last. It’d be the Kwame Kilpatrick Memorial Library.
I finally won something, it’s going to be a fantzy christmas in the Bagglio Ordonez family.
These were way better than mine.
Which of the winners is Vigilante?
Busted Wonkette-ing at work! Need New entertainment!
Sarah Palin chews gum while Rome burns.
[re=122184]facehead[/re]: His was, “My D*ck is smaller than my brain”
I am concerned by a woeful lack of references to TRUCK NUTZ! in the finalists’ works.
I can’t believe I didn’t win with “Because I’m just an average hockey mom”.
Kansas Hate FTW
[re=122201]The Rev. Yevot[/re]:
Did not enter, but greedy. TRUCK NUTZ! – TJBeck
“Gawker layoff, Ken Layne no gay sex.”
Now I know whom to pity.
“Remaindered books, the new Thansgiving Day stuffing.”
[re=122201]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: Clearly, Wonkette has been compromised.
Contractions? That’s cheating.
THat dog on a bun is gonna start looking pretty tasty in a few weeks.
[re=122203]Godot[/re]: Hockey moms can read?
[re=122201]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: Seriously, Truck Nutz! was not the meme everyone thought it was. Cute for a day or so, but seriously… we’ve had Sarah Palin as her own built-in meme for over a month, but we still grab the Truck Nutz! callback at every opportunity? How come we haven’t extrapolated the Palin bubble into ass-sex jokes, yet still we keep ringing “TRUCK NUTS!” like it’s a cardboard bell?
That’s just like writing a country song. How soon before Alan Jackson starts singing about Truck Nutz, so that our interest will also wane in its unimpressive popularity?
That badger hound looks too good not to eat.
Hmmm… I wonder if Mark Wahlberg talks to weiners?
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals/727504/
[re=122222]Platypus[/re]: are you German?
Bridget’s entry isn’t sad. Her husband hasn’t had a job for negative three months. That means they have time to save up before he’s pink-slipped. No worries, enjoy your Huckabee.
[re=122218]Chicken Smack[/re]: Because TRUCK NUTZ! is a powerful symbol of everything that we love to hate and mock about Fly-over country, while Sarah Palin ass-sex jokes would be sexist?
That poor, silly looking son of a bitch.
Screw that! Buy my book, MISTER ROSE’S ABC BOOK. We’ll have to get back to the basics, people (P.S. There’s plenty of “drinking” letters here!) Get one for your kids, and then one for yourself:
http://lalandedigitalpress.blogspot.com/2007/12/mister-roses-abc-little-book-for-little.html
meet our new savior, mister dinty moore
[re=122215]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: You betcha! *wink*
Woohoo!
I won something!
Alas, I tuned in just as the prizes were being awarded.
Need books. Brother In Law is fundy.
Books make family members nuts, except Bible.
I just thought I’d write for the hell of it. Nothing else to do except wait for call that my broker/nephew has a)jumped from window at GS or b)absconded to Rio with what is left of my/rest of families money. I’m betting on “B.” That kid always looked shifty to me.
I could have maybe sorta won with…
“I win! (Unless you’re in the tank.)”
I miss 70s, Erin Grey.
[re=122177]JeffGoldblum[/re]: That’s why us gayz will dominate the world bub (short for bubba) cause we are readers of things and stuff. Oh and I didn’t enter the contest cause I have all those books, even Huckabee’s and McCain’s which I will use for kindling in the cold winter days to come.
[re=122226]facehead[/re]: Nein, aber ich spreche ein bissien Deutsch.
Enough of this stupid book larnin’ shenanigans, can I win the dog-flesh?
Those books look boring! I won the American Wife book contest a few months ago and it was the most engaging, thoughtful, and original story I ever read. Thank you, Wonkette.
[re=122169]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I just got that. It’s a sick outfit.
Did you just pick the first five you read?
Sincerely,
Sore loser.
Finished already? I was about to submit “Arizona needs more right wing political publications”, but it is too late now. Apparently, I need to get out of bed earlier.
[re=122201]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: Books or Truck Nutz? Free books = both!
Weak! It wasn’t even 9am on the West Coast when you started the contest.
[re=122415]PedestrianMe[/re]: Oh boo hoo. Do you know what time I rolled in to work this morning? 7:12 AM!!!*
You see, we on the eastern seaboard aren’t like you lazy left coasters. Try getting up and actually participating in this great political muck-slinging debate we’re having.
*Pacific
Is it really a “prize” if all you get is the Paultard Manifesto?
Pat, can I buy a gerund, please?
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