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Actual photograph of California going bankrupt.Oh boo hoo, yet another broke operation wants billions from Henry “Dollar Bill” Paulson: the state of California!

Due to the end of capitalism and the collapse of global credit markets, California has no money to pay for its mandatory gay weddings and vaginal rejuvenation surgeries — there’s also no money to care for 37 million people who are mostly incredibly poor and sickly and increasingly homeless. So the governor, who is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger, wrote to Paulson last night and said “Please dude give us $7 billion or we are basically going to shut down.”

California is known for being “first” with various trends, so this means the other 49 states will all be bankrupt and out of business by, uh, probably Tuesday. [New York Times]

Photograph found at Lisanti Quarterly, not our fault, etc.

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