Wonkette
Whoa what is going on here, the wacky bailout bill has somehow passed in the House of Representatives by two million votes, 263-171. Take that, uh, China!…?? Many House Republicans switched from “no” to “yes” because they thought they were voting on a measure legalizing gay sex with pages. Now the bill will be driven in a fat cat limousine down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House, where George Bush is currently naked and expecting it. A Rose Garden signing ceremony is also expected, during which Hank Paulson will personally light on fire a pyre of $700 billion. But don’t worry, he knows what he’s doing! The Dow Jones has dropped several hundred points since the good news came out. [NYT]
I’m riiiiiiiiiiiich, beeotch!
“…where George Bush is currently naked and expecting it.”
I swear I had a nightmare start the exact same way.
Thank GOD. Now, how do I get into that toy wooden arrow industry quickly and cheaply?
When you get on your knees before Nancy Pelosi, good things happen.
Can we finally just admit to ourselves that the DOW is not tied in any substantial way to reality? The bill MIGHT pass? Wheeee, up 300 points! Oh, it just DID pass? Wheeee, down 300 points! Makes no sense at all.
Brother can you spare a credit-default swap?
LOL, the only people who seem to know even less about what is going on with the economy than Paulson are Wall Street investors. Lemme recap: vote fails on Monday and the market tanks, uncertainty and nasty indicators drive it up and down all week, then it surges in expectation of bailout passage this morning and finally, after the bill passes, it tanks again. WTF???
Mmmmm….Pork. I wonder what all those Reps did while they were off for the “Jewish” holiday. All I can imagine is a group of Jewish bankers waterboarding all the reps that voted No.
Tommy Says Soooo: Certainly better things than used to happen when you got on your knees before Dennis Hastert.
Finally, the wooden arrow and Puerto Rican rum relief a beleaguered nation needs in troubled times.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I like the image of Hank Paulson, his face painted with clown white and his hair straggling down in all directions, lighting the money on fire. Remember, superheroes protect the status quo - supervillians attempt to change it.
Pork, baby, Pork will be a nice change from Drill, baby, Drill.
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free.
Why do Americans hate God? Don’t you know Pork is the Devil’s meat, like Apples are the Devil’s fruit? Allah forbids pork. The Jewishers curse pork. Macintoshes are the devils computer (didn’t you read the bible, page 24?)…this is what Eve took to fool the stupid man (therefore women must be inferiors). Yet Americans go on eating pork, pork, pork. I mean who would want to take a pig? They like it dirty, do Americans like a dirty god? convert now.
Sponsored by the wacky underwear society
…well at least they removed the excise tax on Puerto Rican Rum. I’m not really into dark liquor but fukk, we are all gonna be eating out of Washington D.C. trash cans anyway. So why not be shit-faced drunk while we do it!!!
Once again, Big Gubmint steps in to save the unfettered free market from the ravages of the poor. Versailles is saved! Cake for everyone!
AngryBlakGuy: Aka the “McAuliffe Clause.”
Now that there is nothing left in America to steal, Bush’s mission is finally accomplished.
He can retire to his estate in Paraguay and cut all the brush he can eat.
Dave J.: …I was saying that last week! But what can you expect from the Dems? They are so used to rolling over and spreading their cheeks, that it is almost reflexive point!
SayItWithWookies: …take that sub-prime minorities! USA USA USA!!!
Money, money, money… its a rich man’s world.
I’m going to follow the Brinks trucks carrying the palettes of cash to Paulson’s home, hoping for some of this largesse to fall on the hood of my car.
Oh wait. I’m not one of Paulson’s buddies.
I take pride in knowing my place and keeping the wealthy, wealthier.
“Representative Zach Wamp, a Republican” You know that guy voted for the bill hoping to get back the lunch money he lost in high school.
…more lube… we gonna need more lube…
Zach Wamp? That sounds like the names of Sarah’s Palin’s next 2 children.
Now I can buy that 42′ sailing yacht and watch America’s collapse from afar, out of the banks’ reach.
AngryBlakGuy: I got dibs on the cans from Ben’s Chili Bowl and Marvin.
Any member of Congress who switched on the vote only because some pork was added to benefit his/her state or district should be shot and the price of the bullet charged to her/his estate…or at least sentence them to FIVE AND HALF YEARS in Guantanamo.
SuperRounder: …yeah, I’m staking out the dumpsters at P.F. Changs and Chick-Fil-A!!!
Now look at them yo-yos thats the way you do it
You play the market with the C D O
That aint workin thats the way you do it
Money for nothin and your bailout for free
Now that aint workin thats the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys aint dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour tvs
SuperRounder: I call Obelisk and Jaleo! I’m klassy that way.
We are all communists now!
keepinitrealyo: Like this? http://www.geocities.com/nullacct/jokerpaulson.jpg
In their defense, I also can’t resist things covered in bacon.
Dave J.: Um, buy the rumor, sell the news?
WWJGD: Pork does well with http://www.freegrabber.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/bushesbean.gif particularly when cooked in the great outdoors.
http://www.angelfire.com/folk/famoustramp/campfire.jpg
Delicioso. Them’s durn good vittles.