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September Job Losses Soar!

The End.If you’re at work today — and screwing around on the Internet, as usual — then good for you! This means you aren’t one of the 159,000 people who lost their jobs last month. The number is “unexpectedly large,” and the monthly job-loss rate is the biggest seen for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, which should help the McCain campaign. The official unemployment rate remains 6.1% and 760,000 non-farm full-time jobs have vanished so far this year. [Reuters/Marketwatch]


9:29 AM on Fri October 3 2008
By Ken Layne
1044 Views

  1. dave666 says at 9:35 am, October 3rd, 2008

    why can’t these unemlployed losers just ask thier beer heiress wives for a loan?

  2. JamesMichaelCurley says at 9:36 am, October 3rd, 2008

    And John McCain said, “Three quarters of a million jobs lost? Sometimes life is unfair. For Five and a Half Years I didn’t even have a job.”

  3. Harold_Ignoramis says at 9:37 am, October 3rd, 2008

    But the fundamentals of our ecomony our so strong. Let’s put Governor Marge Gunderson from Fargo on the job.

  4. mattbolt says at 9:38 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Heed Wonkette’s horrifying visions of the future! Send a resume to Campbell Soup today!

  5. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 9:38 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Crap. I might actually have to start looking busy around here.

  6. What Work Isn't says at 9:40 am, October 3rd, 2008

    That parenthesis is going to close, right? Eventually, right? RIGHT?

  7. Tommy Says Soooo says at 9:40 am, October 3rd, 2008

    You need a right parenthesis in there. Did you fire your proofreader?

  8. Tommy Says Soooo says at 9:45 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Cogito Ergo Bibo: I find that telling my HR dept. I suffer from Stress-Induced Massive Bowel Evacuation Syndrome has led them to skip me as they scythe through the layoffs. The day they come in with waders I am sunk.

  9. Serolf Divad says at 9:46 am, October 3rd, 2008

    The fundamentals of our economy are very strong… they’re just out of work, evicted and broke that’s all.

  10. donner_froh says at 9:47 am, October 3rd, 2008

    “Unexpectedly large” only if you work for the Bureau of Labor Statistics where they haven’t gotten anything right for more that five and a half years. Next month the numbers will be “unexpectedly horrifying”.

  11. el_chupacabra says at 9:48 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Make that 159,001! I’m not wearing pants again!

    My government cheese is paving the way to the white house. Go O-Bams.

  12. MoonshineJoe says at 9:49 am, October 3rd, 2008

    )

  13. grendel says at 9:53 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Well, we’ve got all these lawyers around here, so Wonkette is recession proof…. lawyers don’t get laid off until every bone is picked clean and they’ve turned on each other

  14. Well, gosh darn it and gee willakers, I’m just gonna to speak directly
    to the American people - your fucked.

  15. WagTehGod says at 10:02 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Let them eat moose.

  16. JamesMichaelCurley: For 5 1/2 Years Walnuts did have a job, he just won’t tell you that he was a Receiver. And I’m not referring to football. Well at least not the ‘foot’ part of football. But ya never know, he does kind of walk funny

  17. MoonshineJoe: Excellent. I thought we were all going to be trapped in there for ever.

  18. Hey, if they’ve foreclosed, you could have difficulty voting. Wins for McCain!!YAy!ow

  19. stopsmiling says at 10:25 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Maybe I shouldn’t quit my job on Monday because “I don’t like it.”

  20. capitol hillbilly says at 10:35 am, October 3rd, 2008

    WagTehGod: after the election is over, maybe teh First Dude can open a chain of Mooseburger restaurants.

  21. WagTehGod: Win

  22. All u lazy libruls should jist go work on one o dem farms, they ain’t got no unemployment there.

  23. Ken, you’re just a barrel of sunshine today.

    Fun fact: the unemployment rate just counts those who are still looking for work. The unemployed who have gone Hopeless just don’t count anymore.

  24. DieOnTheTurnpike says at 11:40 am, October 3rd, 2008

    My job security is better than ever… I help promote a bankruptcy and foreclosure law firm. Business, to say the least, is good.

    And yes, I’m screwing around on the Internet as usual.

  25. CivicHoliday says at 11:55 am, October 3rd, 2008

    Damnit Ken, way to make me feel guilty for my internet-related inefficiency at the office. Knowing that other people would gladly write reports for 8 hours straight without taking frequent Wonkette breaks so that they could afford things like, you know, foodstuffs, makes me feel kind of like a tool for being a lackluster performer. Then again, I’m being paid shit and I have a Masters degree, so in retrospect I don’t really feel that bad.

  26. scarface1950 says at 12:14 pm, October 3rd, 2008

    i thought tax cuts create jobs?!?! what happened is the reverse. so you know what? tax increases create jobs…raise taxes till their knees buckle!!

  27. Can’t we just grind up half of the poor to feed to the other half? That ought to open up a few jobs, plus the poors won’t have to spend money on meat. Savings~!

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  28. natoslug says at 1:24 pm, October 3rd, 2008

    What? Are all these people too good for John McCain’s $50/hour lettuce picking job? Wake up, America! There’s green in them thar fields!

  29. Tommy Says Soooo says at 3:21 pm, October 3rd, 2008

    Gawker just announced layoffs:

    http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/10/gawker-media-laying-off-19-workers.php

    Hm, those funny asides are going keep ‘em in stitches in the Hobo Village.

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