Wonkette
Oh crap they’re showing this on every channel, aren’t they? So that means The Office won’t be on tonight? Goddamnit. We were just going to watch that and make up stuff for the debate liveblogging. Now we will watch the debate and still just make up stuff for the debate liveblogging. Go blogs! Let’s see what the CNN is saying, before the debate.
8:38 — Who is this silver-haired mortician playing with John King’s huge touch-teevee iPod thing? Maybe he is John King’s brother, “Martin Luther.” Ha ha ha, ho ho ho. We rarely watch CNN.
8:42 — Oh, commercial, sweet.
8:44 — God they have nothing to say. The host (Malveaux? Brown?) asks the panel “what each candidate has to do.” Really? We’re still asking that one? Well, here’s our take: Sarah Palin has to show up and breathe. It’s hard!
8:46 — Jeffrey Toobin is so mean, because he says Sarah Palin has to prove that she can speak in complete sentences. Jeffrey Toobin, of course, writes about the effete subject of “law” — you know, playa hatin’ — for the New Yorker magazine, which is in the tank for Obama. Meaning they endorsed him. From the tank.
8:48 — Roland Martin: in the tank.
8:50 — David Gergen says something new: “Sarah Palin has to show she is competent.” Does anyone else want to say this? Did we miss anyone? We’re pretty sure every human on Earth has said that exact sentence already, but we want to be sure.
8:51 — Donna Brazile defends Gwen Ifill very strongly, calling the criticism of her Obama book an “insult.” Huh, “surprising.” Obviously there was an awkward silence among the panel after she said that, until John King finally shouts, “you know, I’ve always kept a healthy stable of black friends. Wonderful people!”
8:53 — Malveaux is, where else, Columbus, Ohio, doing the weird sci-fi pulse test of “average voters.” Malveaux was also in Columbus, Ohio doing the same thing for the last debate. Neither of the debates have been in Ohio.
8:55 — Oh wait that was Soledad O’Brien, not Suzanne Malveaux, so we’re racist. Then again who cares who’s running the Ohio Robot Exploitathon Chamber of Elections? Also, women all suck.
8:57 — HA HA HA, when Wolf Blitzer was talking about the voter reaction chamber, the reactions among women in the Columbus Death Chamber fell sharply. The other panelists pointed this out to Wolf and he actually said, “I guess they hate me.” Aww, beardy. It’s not women! It’s everyone.
8:58 — Roland Martin tells everyone to avoid the small, petty, personality difference and focus on THE ISSUES. Ha ha, he has no idea what has been going on in this election. Malveaux/Brown calls him a fat idiot.
8:59 — Wolf: “uh uh uhh here we are at the uhh college, uhhh, women hate me, uh, vice president, uh ready to, uh, practice for the, uh, inquisition, uh questions, uh, uh uh, Ifill, uh, where are my pills, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” [Flatlines on live teevee]
9:00 — YAY my shift is over! Your “real” editor, Ken Layne, will be starting a new thread now. Oh boy. Later! GO HERE.
Bout time. You all drunk already?
In case things start running slow here on Wonkette, there is always SO MUCH LIVEBLOGGING ALL THE TIME, in this FREE CHAT ROOM.
http://wonkette.chatango.com
Yes, I am a Republican Senator.
I haven’t watched CNN since the black guy left in 2001.
okay, so i’m a loser.
Begun this liveblogging has.
Can’t wait to see FAILin and OBAMA BIDlaDEN
Is it about time to feed the lion to the christians, er I mean the Christian to the lions?
I hope they ask that one lady if she wants all babies to be aborted or just the gay babies
Oh, I’ll bet she has a “feel your pain” moment or two tonight…
InsidiousTuna: That site makes an annoying clicking noise. Stay here and enjoy the silence….
What is it with these people (like Palin) - does she really need to drive a freaking mini-hummer thing into every pristine stream she sees. Isn’t she running over the fish? Is that the baby strapped to the back of that thing?
Geez, I just hate these stupid people…
Everyone has to promise you won’t tell my kids (all grown) where I am tonight. They all think I’ve already spent enough of my life humiliating them.
Holy balls. This is about to happen. Really, it’s about to happen. Finally.
…I imagine this debate going much in this manner.
I wish Pat Buchanan would comment on keith oberman…now that would be entertainment
Is it a “gotcha” question if she gets got?
I’m fully prepared for an avalanche of stupid. 12 beers and a bottle of Absinthe.
The Queen is much classier at that stuff.
Speaking of “expectations” - my “expectation” is both of these idiots are going to keep to one word answers and it’s going to be the most boring 90 minutes in history.
Ha ha, Republicans beat up Gwen Ifill with baseball bats.
Get ready for a huge letdown. Unless Palin rubs her own feces in her hair, it won’t live up to our anticipation.
…I wonder if Joe Biden would hit a woman with glasses?
William Jennings Bryan says that carpet is sinful.
Anderson Cooper makes me gay for poltiks.
Here’s Katie Couric’s coverage of the debate, http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/18/politics/2008debates/main4457570.shtml?tag=mncol;txt
simetrias: You can mute it.
Gwen is dressed in Emerald Green! Who will show up, Sarah=Dorothy or Sarah=Wicked Witch?
AngryBlakGuy: I can’t speak to that, but I know a lot of guys who looks at Palin and say, “I’d hit that”
Scarab: That might be an improvement over the current hair style…
Last minute snafu backstage. WHERE’S THE ELECTRICAL TAPE?
The networks are showing off all the stupid bullshit that makes them better then the other networkds. This is hilarious.
Screw it, I’m busting out the Glenmorangie.
InsidiousTuna: Aw, tuna, i’m tempted to say “you can can it,” but with affection…. are you dolphin safe?
Gwen was really polite to the crowd in the pregame warmu-p. No at all as mean as that Lehr fellow.
simetrias: Maybe she is supposed to be Elphaba from Wicked and it will be some sort of second holocaust denying revisionist debate
Let the Bloodletting BEGIN!!!!!!!
Fuck the debate. The Cubbies come on in half an hour. Watch and weep. Myself included.
Soledad is interviewing Joe Six Packs.
Jobbotch: Beatcha to it.
I am drinking Blansac, cut with Tom Collins mix, with Smarties dissolved in.
OMG I think I just saw Ana Marie Cox on Cnn.com streaming. I mean, she’s a redhead who blogs on ’swampland’… there’s only one of those right?
Who has photo’s of Wolf naked? I’ll pay top whore diamonds.
Supplies?
Beer. Check.
Beer. Check.
Beer. Check.
graceless: The question is, will Biden?
20 beers and a bottle of rite aid tussin cough gels
Katie Couric is in the back of the place, ready to rush in after Palin accidently trips Gwen and breaks her other ankle….
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinkin’
While we’re waiting, may I recommend IGOR? It’s very good, especially for a cartoon. It also has Eddie Izzard and has the most accurate portrayal of power politics in teh US today.
Dammit, CNN. I jumped in the tank with Toobin and Martin and now my perception analyzer’s all waterlogged…maybe I can get one of those stupid scorecards? Are they laminated?
loganmo:
Aaron Brown?
OK - this is gay but let’s get ready to rumble
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTpRVY82gYE
My friends, I’m such a wuss that I can’t bring myself to watch. But I will enjoy the live-snark…
Onionish headline:
Fate of Entire Nation Hangs on Pool of Disaffected Ohio Voters
Debate Bleacher Creatures heckling Gwen…
Did Roland Martin just say “forget the bullshit”?
What, no Blingee?
I wouldn’t hit that if it was the last pu**y on earth. Swear to god!
Oh shit, this is starting.
Gotta get my fat pants on and watch EPIC PALIN FAIL!
Rush: Wolf naked? Ugh. There’s another chink in the armor.
Drinkin tequila and lime, with arugula on the side.
The Superbowl of Stupid is about to begin!
Not really. Pls don’t chase that.
empty stage…
i wish i were in a tank, a big old tank just filled with memories of thundercats and top gun and some of those good cereals i used to take comfort in, before i grew to manhood and had to take 300,000,000th share of the blame for whatever complicated arrangement of prefixes and hyphens accurately describes culture and society n stufz, before i realized that ww iii not only would not be a solution, but i might not even enjoy it. but i don’t want to be in mccain or obama’s tank, because frankly they’re much better than i am. i want to be in the tank for something bigger and less-achieved, maybe the mormon church or aids vaccines.
Yay Gwen!
Biden: Kermit Washington
Palin: Rudy Tomjonavich
Break her in half, Biden.
$10 says she breastfeeds the retard baby during the debate
Gwen for president!
cnn.com has been playing porno music with a fight poster for about 10 minutes now… i’m gonna go have sex with a cat, cya soon!
Ooooo it is starting!!
At the end, Gwen will offer a lovely tote for a pledge of $300…
Gwen is in the tank for teal.
Coin toss! Drink?
Gotta like the blue jacket on political Oprah.
Hey can I call you joe?
I covet Gwen’s jacket. Great color.
What is up with that green jacket that Gwen’s in? Blurg. Can I call you Joe, Ha. Sure, can I call you idiot?
The audience has promised no untoward outbursts!!!
“Can I call you joe?”
“Can I call you ho?”
Can I call you Joe?
“Can I call you Joe?” What the hell is that?
Maybe like Nixon asking Frost if he got laid just before going on the air.
Genius.
I always wondered what they said during those handshakes. That must’ve thrown “Joe” a little.
Did she seriously blow Gwen a kiss?
“hey can I call you Joe?”
“You can call me ‘Daddy’”
Joe should be nice to the economy.
Joe shoulda done the psyche handshake where he pulls back and awesomely brushes his hand through his hair. Woulda been a big play with the Git’r Dunn crowd.
Oh, she started out by asking if she could call him Joe. Sooo polite. And snarky! If I didn’t hate her I would have cheered that.
Hold on to your skirts ladies, we are about to enter Hell.
RED FM shoes?
she’s wearing black…a bold choice.
I…… I was not even going to join the party here on my dear wonkette tonight, but “Can I call you Joe?” got me here, and got me here quickly. Congratulations.
Palin looks ready for a funeral. Her own?
EVERYONE GO HERE FOR THE NEW LIVEBLOG, DO IT DO IT DO IT
http://wonkette.com/403235/liveblogging-the-palin-biden-debate-part-i
I’m here, I’m here. I missed the beginning of Joe’s answer.
Soccer games? Stupid broad.
Betcha!
Oh shut up Sarah. Just SHUT UP. Don’t you EVER LeARN?
Whoo HooO! Good Time! No? Oh, we should be afraid. Nevermind.
Soccer game. What happened to hockey?>
hockey game… soccer game… are we playing monopoly here?
smellyal8r: lol
This debate needs a good pledge break.
are we supposed to drink when she mentions soccer moms? or only hockey moms? whatever…too late. am drunk already
Soccer?
I thought she was a pitbull in lipstick.
Or a beagle in drag.
Or a rat terrier without a diaphram.
Whatever.
Wow, Palin looks like she’s making a hostage tape.
Joe, cogent and on point…SP on with “moms” and a really big flag pin…
joe seems pretty sedate. a good thing, i think.
Joe’s naming times on the clock. They don’t even have time in Alaska. haha! stupid bitch.
um, did she just wink at me?
Maverick! Drink motherfuckers!
“Maverick” Drink!
I’m assuming ‘hockey’ calls for a drink?
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
She comes across as a total airhead.
President Beeblebrox: Her being a VP or President help us all will be like one of those Legally Blonde movies or whatever except in Washington.
SCRANTON! DRINK!
Bless her heart!!!
AGAIN with the head-rearing!!!
The CNN people meter graphs are really interesting on the Iraq questions. Palin has been neutral to negative throughout, Biden was up and up high during most of it.
Assuming all the other people meter groups are scoring the same, there is your story from the debate so far.