Wonkette
A fancy Georgetown University student has S.O.S.ed about a new plague in the school’s rich fat cat neighborhood, far beyond the reach of the Metro: “A message from officials at Georgetown now confirms that the campus is just riddled with sickness. We’re all infected with norovirus, a flu thing that is caused by ‘fecal contamination’ and is highly contagious!” Oh well how does John McCain feel now about his insult to Georgetown yesterday hmm? Does he think it’s funny that this could spread from campus and GEORGE WILL COULD DIE FROM THE AIDS CANCER AT A COCKTAIL PARTY?
Here is the opening of the important public service announcement from Georgetown where hundreds of people are probably dying as we type this:
This morning the District of Columbia Department of Health (DOH) informed Georgetown University officials that initial test results indicate that the recent gastrointestinal illnesses affecting Georgetown students is caused by norovirus, which means it can be spread from person to person.
The announcement links to a CDC information page about norovirus, which tells us about “virus transmission.” It is disgusting:
Noroviruses are transmitted primarily through the fecal-oral route, either by consumption of fecally contaminated food or water or by direct person-to-person spread.
Jesus, we’ve all told Georgetown brats to “eat shit and die” at some point or another, but who knew they’d actually do it?
Message from the Vice President for Student Affairs [Georgetown]
Norovirus: Technical Fact Sheet [CDC]
We’re all infected with norovirus
All that Norah O’Donnell assplay was bound to lead to trouble.
This proves that Georgetown students are obsessed with teh buttsecks
Bye the way, can someone tell me what is a “Hoya” - is that Muslim for “John Thompson”?
The Post article about this this a.m. suggested it might be an item called a Hoya Wrap that was responsible. That was too easy a straight line.
There goes my bracket. Well done, Jim. Apropos of nothing, since you’re slacking about actually matters of importance, here is HuffPo on First Ladies of the World:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/02/the-politics-of-fashion-i_n_130945.html
The First Lady of Qatar is teh hot. Dump Palin, go Qatar! Not everyone can wear a lime green jumpsuit. Hold me.
Wow, I didn’t know all those preppy kids were so into tossing each other’s salads…. I’ll never look at a polo shirt the same way again!
The rampant spread of it around campus is worrisome. Must be a lot good ass-eatin’ at G-town.
Hoya Wrap=”Crap Sandwich”=”Bailout”..
The government should also ban short term death.
wtf_files:
2 thumbs up
wow. great stuff at the CDC site. look up “hanta virus” or “marburg fever”.
as for Georgetown, don’t the Jesuits control that? this may be part of their plot.
just sayin’
[Homer Simpson voice]Mmmm… fecally contaminated food… arrrrmmm…[/Homer Simpson voice]
Here’s a funny. Biden-Palin debate prep:
http://www.236.com/news/2008/10/01/debate_training_biden_learns_w_1_9211.php
Tommy Says Soooo: She looks like an Arab Leona Helmsley…
I would have thought my homies in Dupont would be more likely to have this problem. But hey, what happens in Georgetown, stays in Georgetown.
Rush: Yeah, if they’d done that instead, they wouldn’t have the virus.
paolaccio: Do you have reliable sources?
Anyway, let’s get shitfaced!!
Wait…
Sounds more like a Tyler Durden had enough of pompous assholes and decided to rebel. Instead of washing his hands after dropping a deuce, Tyler wiped his hands on the cold cuts.
Note to Georgetown dickheads, don’t have any soup either.
Aww, poor little elitists have a tummyache. They should try going to Catholic U of A. Thoes kids have rat tails in their salads and decapitated heads in the dumpsters.
Wow! This is the second time I get to reference Footnote 209 on Wonkette today!!!
Apparently, rimming is really big with all you pervs down in DC.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/icreport/6narritfoot.htm
I always knew the elitist practice of analingus would be their downfall.
Now that I think of it, this virus is really common at daycare, where the little ones fling the feces everywhere. Which is why I want to know where Nebraska gets off dumping unwanted kids in Georgetown of all places?
Or perhaps this is the result of the famous Georgetown “Upper-decker in the Brita filter” prank.
This is especially disturbing, as this announcement comes only a day after the Slog posted this article. Why are Georgetown kids reading a Seattle-based alt-weekly’s blog?
Can we throw concrete barriers and barbed wire around the campus and quarantine the Infected until they degenerate into preppy Lord of the Flies-style anarchy, all while projectile shitting? Please? Just for fun?
grendel:
Nice cans, but kind of a face made for radio.
So, yesterday, when Grampy said that only the Georgetown cocktail crowd was actually walking away from Palin, he decided to have them killed?
“falafel” wrap, my fat ass.
iwillsavethispatient: Because they think ‘grunge’ is still cool.
“Jesus, we’ve all told Georgetown brats to “eat shit and die” at some point or another, but who knew they’d actually do it?”
That’s actually better than a penis joke.
Josh Fruhlinger: Somebody with photoshop skills needs to bring this image to life.
freakishlystrong: RESCUE, not “Bailout”. Why do you hate freedom?
ProfessorJukes: WOW, indeed.
GEORGE WILL COULD DIE FROM THE AIDS CANCER AT A COCKTAIL PARTY
Just as he always knew he would.
the problem is some aramark employee responsible for shoveling macaroni and cheese forgot to wipe this shit of his hand.
the most recent email we’ve received from the administration:
Dear Members of the Main Campus and Medical Center Communities:
This morning the District of Columbia Department of Health (DOH)
informed Georgetown University officials that initial test results
indicate that the recent gastrointestinal illnesses affecting Georgetown
students is caused by norovirus, which means it can be spread from
person to person. University officials are taking this outbreak very
seriously and moving quickly to take appropriate steps to respond to the
needs of the community to prevent the spread of the virus. We are
working closely with department of Health, which recommends that we
maintain routine campus operations, with an enhanced focus on cleaning
public areas and emphasizing the importance of hand washing.
Norovirus is a highly contagious group of viruses that cause symptoms
including nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and stomach cramps. Individuals may
also have low-grade fever, chills, headache, fatigue and muscle aches.
People may feel very sick, but most get better within 1-2 days and have
no long-term health effects. A fact sheet from the Centers for Disease
Control is available at
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/gastro/norovirus-qa.htm.
University representatives and medical professionals will be available
to meet with members of the campus community at 3:00 p.m. today in
Sellinger Lounge in the Leavey Center to provide the most up to date
information and respond to questions.
Immediately, student residence halls are being cleaned with a specific
focus on common areas and high contact surfaces such as bathrooms,
doorknobs, and handrails. Common gathering areas including Yates Field
House, McDonough Arena, the Leavey Center will also be cleaned, as well
as bathrooms and high contact surfaces in academic and administrative
buildings. If you are aware of specific areas that need to be cleaned
please call (202) 687-3432.
Earlier today we completed the sanitizing of O’Donovan Dining Hall,
which has been inspected by the Department of Health and cleared to
reopen. Meals will be served there as usual, beginning with dinner this
evening.
The Department of Health recommends that all individuals immediately
begin taking extra precautionary steps to prevent the spread of
norovirus. DOH recommends frequent and thorough hand washing with soap
and water and use of personal hand sanitizer.
As of this morning, there have been 165 students who have been treated
for symptoms related to norovirus. If you are not feeling well and
experiencing symptoms of severe vomiting and diarrhea, please seek
medical treatment at the Student Health Center or Georgetown University
Hospital. In general, if you feel ill, please use good judgment and
refrain from group activities.
We would like to thank all faculty and staff for their support of
students during this time. We will continue to provide regular updates
via the emergency preparedness website and broadcast email as
information becomes available.
Thank you for your continued cooperation and support.
Sincerely,
Todd A. Olson
Vice President for Student Affairs
Josh Fruhlinger: Where is cartoon violence???
wtf_files: WIN
Tawmn:
I used to live in a REALLY shitty group-house about 3 blocks north of the campus. We would have these ridiculously out of control parties and EVERY TIME we did, Georgetown would send some sort of RA/Hall Monitor/Rent-A-Cop to our front door telling us to send everyone home and just assuming we had to listen to them because we MUST be Georgetown students. Fuck off!
Such a douchey school.
That said… GO TERPS. At least we don’t eat our own shit!
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Fear the Turtleing.
Common gathering areas including Yates Field
House, McDonough Arena, the Leavey Center will also be cleaned, as well
as bathrooms and high contact surfaces in academic and administrative
buildings.
Has anyone let Larry Craig know?
Tagged:
* college,
* death,
* disease,
* george will,
* georgetown,
* georgetown university,
* john mccain,
* local,
* natural selection
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Josh Fruhlinger: I’m okay with that as long as I can escape to Dupont first, which is wear I do all my non-elitist homo-ass eating.
I suppose they’re gonna clog the ERs because they can’t afford healthcare premiums any more. Or their parents can’t. Well, shit, nobody can.
BTW, poop is funny. Ass-eatin’ ain’t. And that’s said by gay me.
ProfessorJukes: I would have lived a much happier life w/o that image in my head. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
4tehlulz: They claim to have already addressed the “high contact areas”.
So, DC lobbyists are finally eating shit, huh?
Naw,
They just watched Clerks Two and hadda go and try that A to M thing on each other. Although it could have been an Aramark employee, pulling a Jason Lee style poop hand. I know several Aramark employees and they hate students.
Yup, Kevin Smith has all the answers. Doubt that at your peril.