Wonkette
We’re calling it: the election is about to turn “red” again! Even though McCain has randomly surrendered Michigan and now needs to win Pennsylvania to have like a 15% shot at this thing… well this election will not be decided by “math numbers,” it will be decided by the American people! And the American people hate nothing more than the gay French arugula-blowing big government white wine-eating literate elite non-cling snob black coastie welfare magazine, The New Yorker, which has just endorsed Barack Obama. And just to rub it in, the editors have made the endorsement have a whole lotsa WORDS in it. GRRR me wants to start a farmer’s rebellion you in? [New Yorker]
Jesus fucking Christ that’s long. Can’t someone just point me to the “we endorse Obama” cartoon?
great, thanks New Yorker. Why does the New Yorker think it needs to make an endorsement?
Serolf Divad: I think the cover with Palin looking at Russia would have sufficed, actually.
This is indeed important, as the New Yorker usually only endorses middlebrow writers in need of some cash as they they teach MFA students who don’t give a fuck about ‘em except if they can whore out their contacts to get them published…whew…oh, and mailing it in on a reputation from the days Dorothy Parker fellated bottles of bathtub gin.
The cartoons have kitties.
I’ll bring the pitchforks, you bring the torches. Let’s hunt ourselves some ‘litist!!
First, it’s “McCain’s an asshole,” now it’s “New Yorker Endorses McCain.” What’s tomorrow? “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should”? Grass is green, and the sky is often blue? Objects may be closer than they appear? Key-rist, y’all are getting really good at spotting the obvious today.
Jesus Christ even scanning through that article gave me a headache.
First WALNUTS! loses “Muhammad Speaks”, and now this…
Holy crap. I stopped reading after Napoleon gets to Moscow. What happens after that?
OK, for those who like me, can’t make it through a whole New Yorker piece, here’s a New Yorker cartoon version.
Fuck, that is a lot of words!
I’m sure all the bitters in Dumbfuck, WV and East Jesus, UT will thoughtfully consider the New Yorker’s carefully crafted examination of the candidates before throwing away their votes on Walnuts and Caribou Barbie cuz they’re like them.
Me? I’m waiting on the Weekly Standard’s choice before I make a decision.
New Yorker Editor 1: “Has anyone seen our Journalistic Credibility?”
New Yorker Editor 2: “Uh, I think I might have accidentally thrown it out with the left-over caviar.”
1: “You did what?!?!”
2: “Sorry.”
1: “You threw out the fucking caviar???!!!”
I may have to rethink my subscription unless they could send a faggy journalist in the style of truman capote out to cover rednecks for obama. why not?
…too many words…attention fading…
Serolf Divad: you win
SayItWithWookies: He opens a patisserie and raises Bison Frises.
Serolf Divad: Thank you, that was all I needed to know.
OH! That’s easy…..the radical leftist Commie Muslin “magazine” New Yorker has its base in OH, and MI, and CO, and VA and NC and FL and PA…..hardly an endorsement, more like a bailout to its super rich subscribers, none of whom will never ever see a can o’ New Hobo Economy beans.
Damn Muslintards with they fancy schmancy literary allusions!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbSlc4XGGnk&feature=related
Wow, that Bachtell illustration makes Barry look like a black Donny Osmond.
In a recent New Yorker, there was one of the funniest letters to the editor ever. It was commenting on a recent, very pretentious article about the Olympics and how it was all about pageantry, blah blah. The letter cited how the Olympics was in fact much like Plato’s shadows on the wall and the form of our innner selves, blah blah blah. I wish I’d kept it. It was a brilliant reminder of the danger of taking oneself too seriously.
By the way, I copied and pasted that article into Word and got a 4,201 word count. Fuck’s sake!
They just want to be able to put together more racially based satire covers. How many ‘old white guy’ covers can you mine out of Walnuts?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
For the love of god, 4200 words to endorse Obama?! Someone reanimate the remnants of Thomas Bowdler’s corpse and send it over to 24 West 43rd Street, STAT.
Serolf Divad: Me too. Time to knock off for the day, I think.
Serolf Divad: Was that single- or double-spaced?
NoStyleHere: how about EB White! Mr. Cut Out All The Adjectives is rolling in his grave.
madtowngooner: I live just North of East Jesus, UT. I will now inform them of this.
Doglessliberal: NY Magazine is for actual liberals. The New Yorker is for liberals with illegal Mexican housekeepers and dogs named Sniffles.
Well, I’m feeling real Happy that Barry’s going to win and all, but what I really want to see are the newspapers and magazines who endorse McCain, so we can make more jokes about retards.
Doglessliberal: Word. The New Yorker should attach a single dose foilpack of Ritalin to the endorsement page.
Monkey: WTF? Oh, don’t answer now, Sean Hannity is providing us journalistic integrity any moment now…..
NoStyleHere: Win for the Bowdler reference. Unfortunately you have revealed yourself as an intellectual and the jackbooted thugs will be kicking down your door in five, four, three…
obfuscator: Are you sure that Obama isn’t the black Donny Osmond?
magic titty: OK, I have a huge cat and no housekeeper AND a New Yorker subscription, but my household also has subscriptions to US Weekly, the Washington Post, Runner’s World, and Baseball America. Oh, and we own two shotguns. We like to F with statistics and stereotypes. Heh.
Tommy Says Soooo: Don’t be absurd, Tommy. We don’t live in a facist… wait, there’s someone at the door.
[offstage]: Ow-ow-OWWW- FUCK!!! Fuck! Gahhhhhh [SLAM]
Doglessliberal: Your subscription list is throwing me off. How do I push-poll you? What would you say if there was information which hinted at Barack Obama was adopted by Brangelina, was actually born in Kinshasa, Zaire, rendering him ineligible for election, and had an affair with A-rod, Britney Spears, and David Remnick while they were all in Russia promoting “Lenin’s Tomb.”
Also, would you shoot Curt Schilling in the face, if given the chance? Yes or No?
Do magazines still pay by the word?
DangerousLiberal: Sean hannity is a coksuking nincum poop
Serolf Divad: You are on fire today!
magic titty: Oh, who wouldn’t shoot him? And given the economy these days, he would feed a lot of people.
DangerousLiberal: you are a great american!
Ok, so I just read the thing, all 4201 words of it and… I’m having a hard time with this… it’s good. Kinda dumb to talk about McCain for the first 1500 words, but hey — once they get into the meat it’s a pretty decent encapsulation of how I feel.
I have to go read TV Guide now.
i read the new yorker cover to cover (cept for the poetry which i despise) every week although admittedly i’m always behind. and my dog’s name is freckles and she’s not really mine anyway. and i don’t have a housekeeper — legal or not — which you would know if you ever saw the inside of my house!
in related news: sean hannity was just now lowering expectations for bible spice tonight. she’s just going to do her best but thankfully she won’t have to deal with the evil drive-by media.
I can’t imagine how the McCain/Palin campaign will respond to this shocker. Oh, wait, yes. I can.
You can make fun of the New Yorker’s ponderous endorsements, but you people best leave my boy J. Toob alone!
His article last week about Leona Helmsley’s bitch inheritance was bomb-doggity.
Tommy Says Soooo: Did the New Yorker turn down your unsolicited manuscript too? Yeah, it hurts.
The long passage was designed to weed out the McCain/Palintards. They can’t handle the truth, but will ignore it if there are just too many words involved.
Michelle is such a slut, I wish she was more like the Pic.
In the interest of transparency and fairness, I think we need to look at all the times The New Yorker has endorsed the Republican candidate.