Wonkette
Wonkette Fly-Over Correspondent Stephen Martin is at the scene of tonight’s Palin-Biden debate in St. Louis, trying to find out why Dr. Dean is such a dick: “Just ran into Howard Dean in the campus bookstore at Wash U. I got to know the man relatively well four years ago, had dinner with him, the typical Iowa thing with candidates. Well, I figured I’d go say hi to him. Totally blew me off. It’s not like there was a gaggle or anything. He was getting his picture taken with a couple of campus cuties. I was the only “reporter” in the whole place. But his people saw my red ‘media’ tag, and completely ignored me. I was disappointed.
“Anyway, security is nuts here. The field house area is totally closed off, and students have been told they can’t even have non-student friends on campus today. For heaven’s sake, it’s Palin — you’d think if there was ever a political event you could bring a gun to ….
“That said, two folks from ‘Rednecks for Obama,’ the Rolla, Mo.-based beer-drinking and political activist group, were out on the main quad selling t-shirts when I got here around noon. They told me a cop on a bicycle had told them to leave, but they stayed anyway and nothing bad had happened to them yet.”
Stay tuned for more reports, from this place! Have a question for Stephen Martin? Want him to check something out? Well, type it in the comments, and we’ll see!
Well, yeeeaaaaaargh.
Dear Stephen Martin:
What happens when you knock over a bicycle cop, or punch a secret service guy in the junk?
[And, as a follow up, how's the weather in Guantanamo these days?]
Rednecks for Obama
Must be a bunch of them goddamn Juan Carlos Montoya fans.
TONY STEWART!!! Weeeeeee haw.
Mr. Martin:
Is Moosilini busily eradicating the deer problem in Missouri?
Sincerely,
Mr. Shorts
He blew you off because life isn’t fair.
Did Dean just brush you off or did he scream you off? The distinction is important.
Can you tell me which of the restrooms on campus have stalls where Senator Craig’s has carved his initials into and which stalls have the the glory holes?
Haha… Cops on bicycles have no authority. Just ask the guys by the White House.
Maybe he blew you off because you are a whiny douche?
I didn’t realize Rednecks for Obama was based in Rolla. It seems my many relatives there have been good for something after all!
sezme:
I can totally see McCain stealing your taxi and being like “Life isn’t fair kid. If it’s any consolation, another cab will be along shortly. Now beat it.”
If you think Rednecks for Obama is a little crazy — try Old White Bluegrass Legend for Obama — yeah, the coveted Ralph Stanley endorsement has been revealed:
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/10/new_obama_ad_in_south_stars_bl.php
Perhaps he was to busy? After all, he’d planned on going to the bathroom, and ON to the Lobby, and RUN down THE QUAD, AND THE WE’RE GOING ALL THE WAY TO WHITE HOUSE! YEAAAHHAHAH!!!!
Dear Mr. Martin,
Why does Washington University in St. Louis hate America? Are they just pissed the Cubs are in the playoffs?
“Rednecks for Obama” was formed as a counter to another association, “Extremely Respectable Negroes for McCain”.
SayItWithWookies: oooh, good old Ralph. It might counteract the goddamned New Yorker endorsement. And you want chills? Check him out doing “O’ Death”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpxuh090IUc
Just as the time-honored “Doctor, it hurts when I do this”, wearing a red media tag and expecting attention….well, don’t fuckin’ do that!
Perhaps he didn’t introduce himself as being from Wonkette. There should be some kind of badge…
gjdodger: which has several subgroups: “Clean Negroes Local 131″ and “Articulate Negroes for McCain/Palin”. They got into a scuffle recently with “Uppity Niggras for Obama” at a McCain campaign rally.
Stephen,
Seeing as how you’re in the Show Me state, has anyone shown you anything: appendectomy scar, the finger, boobs, best place to buy weed, a mouthful of real teeth? Inquiring minds want to know.
Are the “Creepy serial killer baby rapist felons for Obama” weighing in yet?
Dairy Queen: I don’t know of any with his initials carved in, but I’d check these first:
http://wubathrooms.com/features/topfive.html
That’s a good Dean reaction. I once asked him for a picture and he throat punched me. I was able to dodge the savate kick before I scrambled into the woods.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Botswana Meat Commission FC: That Stewart guy drived one them Jap cars this year. I ain’t rootin’ for that fat little rice-eatin fuck.
I’m sure that dinner 4 years ago is still the topic of much discussion around the Dean household.
HD: honey, do you remember that idiot we had dinner with, back before I screamed my way out of contention? He was quite a douche, wasn’t he?
MHD (Mrs. Howard Dean): Yes, Howie, that was one major douche. I bet he still thinks you like him.
HD: aaaaaaaaaaaaargh
the end.
Oh god. Oh dear god, please, please, no. No, no. It hurts so good.
http://www.prayforsarahpalin.com/
checkonechecktwo: I hope no one actually has the address “sarahpalinisafuckingidiot@andsoareyou.com” Otherwise, they’re probably going to start getting some spam from crazy religious types.
checkonechecktwo: That is so incredibly stupid that I am not sure if it is a troll or serious.
checkonechecktwo: As things are going with the McCain campaign’s efforts these days, Palin’s opening words in tonight’s debate will be:
“As I was driving here tonight, a great sense of peace, protection and wisdom overcame me. I hereby withdraw from the race, and endorse Barack Obama.”
Dear Jeebus:
I know, I know. Sarah Palin wasn’t your first choice, either, but look how pretty! Please, hear our prayers, and let there be some kind of wardrobe malfunction tonight, and by wardrobe I mean crying and by malfunction I mean uncontrollably.
Sincerely,
just another guy who was in a cheesy youth group in high school but then went to college and realized you don’t actually exist.
The relfection that goes across her glasses every few seconds alone is worth 2 whore diamonds. Also for us godless Libtards there is, thankfully, a guide on “how to pray” to Space Go From The Sky, And Bible
FAIL. God*
checkonechecktwo: Nice to know that The Base (or as they say it in Arabic, “al-Qaida”) has been so bolstered by their victorious attempt at making it rain during Hopey’s acceptance speech that they’re going to repeat their performance. They have my best wishes for a similar outcome.
I haven’t seen any prayer circles here in St. Louis yet, but I’m sure they’re just keeping a low profile given the number of godless liberals running around.
What an asshole! He couldn’t make time for the fabulously important Stephan Martin?