Cowardly McCain Surrenders Michigan

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Better to lose the election to .. ah never mind what's the difference ....Remember how John McCain used to want to lose elections to, uh, whatever that was? Lose elections to win elections? Anyway, this week’s suspension of his campaign is happening in Michigan. Team McCain is closing up shop, pulling the teevee ads, ending the mailers, canceling all events, the end.

Jonathan Martin reports at the Politico:

But recent polls there have shown Obama extending what had been a small lead, with the economic crisis damaging an already sagging GOP brand in a state whose economy is in tatters.

B-b-but the fundamentals are strong!

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • bryan j

    no more walnuts!?

  • 4tehlulz

    WALNUTS blinked. Fail.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    It is just that the fundamentals are so strong we don’t need the temp jobs of licking envelopes, handing out fliers, and shushing the hoboes away from the campaign stops.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Oh man I thought Grosse Pointe was in the tank for Walnuts! Don’t go Walnuts! The 3% of wealthy whites in Michigan hate to see you go!

  • obamaslamma

    what’s with all the beverages? peeing yellow too much gramps?

  • BillyClubb

    Well as they say, “So goes Michigan, so goes the nation.”

  • Larry Fine

    What misheegoss.

  • Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    Okay, shall we continue now that our esteemed editorhas caught up with us?

  • NoWireHangers

    Another steps towards victory.

    All your states are belong to us, WALNUTS!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    You’d think with the popularity of Kwame & that furreigner governor, Walnuts would have a good chance. I think he lost it when Detroit found out he owned a Lexus. If he can’t drive a Chrysler K Car like the other good Americans, the hell with him!

  • madtowngooner

    Look at a map people, for Chrissakes, everyone knows Michigan was Mitten’s state

  • Monkey

    Michigan hates McCain because Michigan hates Palin because Michigan hates Alasky because if it weren’t for Alasky Michigan would be the coldest fuckin’ place on Earth or at least the United States of Earth, and so he’s leaving cause WTF.

  • tunamelt

    Michigan chose to throw off their fuck-up destiny, I see. They’ll probably still all vote for Hillary.

  • slappypaddy

    one down, forty-nine to go…

  • S.Luggo

    “McCain pulling out of Michigan”.

    Had Snowmobile Slacker only made the same the decision with regard to Bristol.

  • Vewol Mevemont

    What a racist.

  • soggybottomboy

    WALNUTS! You so crazy!


  • facehead

    This is too funny. I got this from Kos:


    We need a new social meme, “Life imitates comdey” or something like that.

    Seriously, wouldn’t you imagine this to be a headline on Wonkette, not cnn?

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=118581]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: True story. I lives in the Mitten. I even, chance would have it, live in a normally Repuke town.

    I am in the tank for Hopey, so as I motor around, I see ONE, count ’em, ONE Walnuts sign.

    I see one Hopey sign in addition to mine.

    True, I still see more Paultard signs, but if this place ain’t festooned with Walnuts signs, he was always going to epic fail in Michigan.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Today we are all Michiganers (Michiganders? Kwame Kilpatricks?).

  • picardia

    The weird part is that I saw a McCain ad on television yesterday. I live in New York City, the bluest blue area that ever was blue. Why is he pulling out of Michigan and still spending valuable ad dollars in the absolute last city in America he would ever get?

    (Yeah, this station is shown in NJ — but that’s blue too, and I don’t think it extends as far as Pennsylvania.)

  • tunamelt


    Like an SNL skit or performance art.

  • Monkey

    Michigan decided they are going to have their presidential election, for president, in Cocktober, so they lost all their votes, and McCain is protesting, or something. Florida too.

  • Mahousu

    If you check out this map:
    you’ll see Walnuts’ presence in Michigan is minimal.

    I’m a little surprised to see him so prevalent in Iran, though.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=118581]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: But why? After all, they’re all registered to vote in Boca.

  • askwhipple

    Can you say LANDSLIDE FOR BARRY!!!!

  • Monkey

    [re=118606]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Michigoons.

  • cal

    Jump on board the Straight Talk Express – before it hauls ass outta town!

  • SayItWithWookies

    That’s just one more person who can’t make a go of it in Saginaw.

  • StripesAndPlaids

    Maybe he is just suspending it until he can get the US auto industry back on track. Or get the Lion’s back on track.

  • ihasasad

    [re=118582]obamaslamma[/re]: I was trying to figure that one out too. He probably kept telling people different answers to the question “What do you want to drink?” Kind of like giving different answers to “What do you think of Ifill?”

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=118603]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Being in San Fran Gay Gay, I have seen but one sign not advocating Barry. I say “not advocating Barry” because it was not a sign for Walnuts, but rather it stated “IMPEACH OBAMA.” My friend and I balked and then went back to eating our arugala.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=118613]picardia[/re]: Parts of PA receives NY stations.

  • magic titty

    Ahhh, the withdrawal method. It’s tried and true, ‘my friends’.
    Kudos, McNasty. Kudos.

  • Monkey

    [re=118585]BillyClubb[/re]: Who the F says that? ;-)

  • tunamelt

    [re=118613]picardia[/re]: Dude, I see like a million of them in California every time I watch anything. So nothing makes sense.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=118600]facehead[/re]: That’s awesome. It sounds like Grampy is throwing in the towel. Can’t say that I blame him, but seriously, does he really believe his own bullshit?

  • TGY

    Michigan won’t have John McCain to kick around anymore.

  • askwhipple

    Might as well suspend the entire campaign Walnuts. U R dunn

  • sezme

    If he suspends his campaign nationwide for realz before tonight’s debate, he has a chance of not losing it by as much as he will by staying in it another month.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=118629]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: oh, man, the conversation with the person who posted that sign would have been a humdinger. Nutjob city.

  • tunamelt

    [re=118629]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I went to the Pirate Festival in Ojai a week or two ago and saw approximately one sign for John McCain. Next door to a house with like three signs advocating war as being “not healthy for children and other living things” and an Obama sign.

  • facehead

    [re=118614]tunamelt[/re]: Don’t yell at me, who do you think I am, Peggy Noonan?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=118603]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Isn’t the Mitten the Romney family estate? I won’t even ask how you’ve come to live there. http://livingininterestingtimes.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/serf.gif

  • NoStyleHere

    [re=118600]facehead[/re]: It has The Onion written all over it, except it doesn’t.

    On a separate note, is that Cindy McCain making a few extra bucks as the stock photo model for the animated “Better than Botox” ad on the same page?

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=118600]facehead[/re]: Bwaaahhhhhh!!!!!

    His tears are so sweet.

  • tunamelt

    [re=118646]facehead[/re]: Wait, aren’t you Peggy Noonan?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=118649]NoStyleHere[/re]: You’re confusing the Better than Botoxā€¯ ad with “Night of the Living Dead.”

  • Delicious

    McCain was chased away by the hotness of Carey Torrice.


  • NoStyleHere

    [re=118629]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Tsk tsk. Surely you have seen the 14 Nader/Gonzalez posters in that one guy’s window in the Mission? Go Matt! Locally-grown organic sustainable wheat grass toast to victory!

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=118648]S.Luggo[/re]: Former estate. I only bid $0.99 for the Saginaw house since we Michiganians only do the Dollar Store now.

    So I just squat at Mitten’s old place. The Mormons sold it to the Scientologists, and apparently my personality test said I was their bitch. Who am I to argue with science?

  • liquiddaddy

    That’s OK. Ted Nugent left too.

  • WagTehGod

    As if Michigan hasn’t lost enough jobs already, thanks a lot WALNUTS!!!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=118663]NoStyleHere[/re]: As loud as the Natards are in this ‘ere city, it’s still easy to turn a blind eye…. you know like Newsom with the homeless folks.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=118661]Delicious[/re]: Damn you. I will destroy you. I should have thought of that. But then again, Cindy gives Sarah the evil eye of pharmaceutical jealousy, she would have to leap on Carey and rip her eyes out. Campaign over.

  • Varchar

    At least this time Walnuts didn’t need to be imprisoned for 5 1/2 years before they pulled out!

  • Rush

    Can you see Canada from Michigan?

  • askwhipple

    Who’s the bigger bitch the “Tannning Salon luvin hockey mom” or Mrs. Walnuts?

  • NoStyleHere

    [re=118687]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Sure, he can’t see Bummy past the new solar panels on City Hall.

  • 23 Skidoo

    Well, that’s one less early bird dinner that’ll be sold in Michigan over the next month

  • tiger

    What a giver-upper…golly, this doesn’t seem like presidential behaviour does it?
    Think how he’s perform in an arms race…

  • tiger

    oh god i HAAAATE him i’m so HAAPPY now in my hobo tent…

  • bigpfeifinphilly

    The vultures are circling over the cryptkeeper.

  • Miller

    Awww. I wish everyone could hear me playing a sad song for Johnny on the violin. I think you’d all be touched. Perhaps a single tear would roll down your cheek……for Michigan.


  • Bob Hopeless

    It was what it was.

  • nosferatu

    what’s up – did he “cut and run?” Can’t wait to see what screw up he’ll commit next.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=118621]askwhipple[/re]: I will be happy to say that on November 5. Right now, things like Diebold and the Bradley Effect make me nervous as fsck.

  • american mutt

    [re=118613]picardia[/re]: They’ve been wasting money California too. I wake up in the morning, see his ads and just laugh. I mean come on. I’m in fucking Los Angeles.

  • Street Organizer

    They’re just ageist bastards.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Fuck. Now I’m only gonna be able to throw shit at my tee-vee when the Lions are on. Fuck ‘ya and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, Johnny boy.

  • TJBeck

    If I were McCain, I’d just give up and blow the rest of the campaign money on hookers, blow and johnny walker blue-label. That’s gotta be more fun than running around the country preaching to retards.

  • ProfessorJukes

    [re=118613]picardia[/re]: Definitely extends into the Lehigh Valley – Allentown, Bethlehem, etc. Although it might be cheaper to buy Philly and/or Scranton time. But that’s a lost cause, too. Joe Biden rocks eastern PA.

    I think if Sarah-Bear refers to herself as “Joe Six Pack”, Biden should just say “In PA you can only buy beer by the case. Let’s split a case of Yuengling Lager – straight beer bongs – see who pukes first.” Doesn’t matter if he blows chow before she does. Just saying “Yuengling” guarantees that the Penn. bitters will vote for the dem ticket.

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    [re=118714]Rush[/re]: Yes, I used to be able to see Canada from my office in Detroit (before I packed my shit and left).

    Now that WALNUTS! is pulling out, are they still going to disenfranchise people who lost their homes in McComb county?

  • madtowngooner

    [re=118847]ProfessorJukes[/re]: Didn’t you see the Fox News guy in the diner in PA yesterday; it was pretty much split between Hopey and Walnuts. BTW, let ’em buy TV time in the NY market, da stoopid dumbfucks

  • King of Pants

    I have to wonder how much actual cash McCain has on hand. Obama’s rakin’ in all the college trim cash (and, er, my $50), but what’s McCain’s war chest actually like?

  • OzoneTom

    [re=118592]Monkey[/re]: Alasky? You mean Joe Alaskey? Better watch what you say, there’s about 95% of Wonketeers are lawyers.

  • ProfessorJukes

    [re=118870]madtowngooner[/re]: D’oh! That’s right. ‘Split, leaning towards Obama’.

  • WadISay

    This is like 12-14 months ago, when the McCain campaign was in shreds, only way better.

  • V572625694

    [re=118684]WagTehGod[/re]: Yeah, ha ha, WALNUTS! says those jobs aren’t coming back, and this is the thanks he gets. A Kinsley Gaffe, if ever there was one: he told the truth.

  • WadISay

    I seem to recall that, a couple of weeks ago McCain was putting together a transition team. If I were them, I would spend the next four weeks working on it in Aruba with some local “consultants”.

  • trondant

    Behold, the Fleeing Doucheman!

  • rocktonsammy

    Its time to give Michigan to Canada, ain’t good for nothin.

  • BC Peter
  • azw88

    [re=118661]Delicious[/re]: Take a look at her Myspace page: She is 99 years old but looks not a day over 40…. damned!!!

  • azw88

    What with all of them thar Mulin cuzins Obama has in MishhiGan, McCain/Palin decided to concede that state. Besides, they’ve already got Alaska locked in, they don’t need ANOTHER state that borders Canada!

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=118582]obamaslamma[/re]: those are all the liquids he needs to down every hour just to have a bowel movement

  • S. Cullen Bonz

    Michigan, home of Amway! Dick DeVos, the Amway heir spent $19 million of his own money in the last gubernatorial election and got pasted by Jennifer Granholm. That’s a log of detergent.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Ah, does this mean I can go tell my neighbor to take his sign down, or should I just stay home tonight and drink? Decisions….

  • NoWireHangers

    Judging from that picture WALNUTS! truly is selling snake oil.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=118645]tunamelt[/re]: Ojai is not a microcosm of America the way Alaska is, so the signs don’t count.

  • seriesoftubescleaner

    It’s so cold in the D