Wonkette
What a tragic month for our Snowbilly Dingbat! On August 29, just hours after Barack Obama’s stadium acceptance speech in Denver, John McCain waddled out with his exciting maverick veep pick, a nine-year-old child abandoned at the Wal-Mart in some exurban Alaskan gloom-hole. And America loved her! Or, “the Americans who voted for Bush, twice, thought she was better than that liberal Mexican McCain, at least.” And now? The only people still standing up for Our Sarah are the stupidest people in America the world: Socially Conservative Republican Men.
When America’s moms — or at least the white moms who are registered to vote and don’t have much money — first got a look at Sarah Palin, they all said, together, “Oh look at that, a lady with kids, and she has kind of a half-ass job just like me, so why not have some random mom become president when McCain dies on November 5?”
And then Sarah opened her mouth and revealed that she was, in fact, a barely functioning idiot.
So now all those women have turned on her, and are once again entranced by the sexy idea of Barack Obama and Joe Biden charming their way into the nation’s collective panties.
Women were more likely than men to have changed their opinion and are less likely than men to view Palin as qualified, according to Pew’s latest poll.
Biden, by contrast, was considered qualified to be president by a three-to-one margin.
Stakes Mount For Palin [Baltimore Sun]
McCain’s ‘Stop Sarah Palin’ strategy working like a charm, polls show [Top of the Ticket]
America no loves National Idiot?
wimmin gonna be stubbin their toes on th’bar, it’s got so low…
This is hardly news since women are smarter than men in most aspects of life.
the fellas like her because she’s just so darn cute!
and in alaska, unlike everywhere else, most voters are men:
Percentage of Persons 18+ and Male: 51.8%
Percentage of Persons 18+ and Female: 48.1%
If Sarah Palin shows up tonight for the debates and reads an entire Larry the Cable Guy monologue as her opening remark while holding a shotgun, wearing a Git-Er-Done ballcap and chewing Skol, she’ll actually increase her appeal dramatically to Americans, which is just fucking awful to imagine
You sir, are giving barely functioning idiots a bad name. We demand satisfaction!
Did anyone see the last 5 minutes of Keith last night? He did a “best of Palin” video montage. Must see TeeeVey. It may be on Youtube - I’ve not checked.
Wow. That Burberry scarf does NOT go with the rest of her outfit. And she looks like the little brother on “A Christmas Story” just before he stuck his tongue to the pole.
DON’T DO IT SARAH! KEEP YOUR TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH!
Poor Sarah, someone get me a tissue. Is it just me, or does the way she’s standing in that photo make it look like Todd may have buttsecksed her the night before?
Hahaha that picture. Why do I want a crazed Groundhog’s Day Bill Murray to come flailing in with a chainsaw?
Joe, please just shut up tonight. We need a verbal governor attached to him so he is jerked back into silence if he starts to ramble.
Sarah needs to be permitted to sink herself. I so much hope she sounds as she did in the Couric interview. I am afraid, however, she has been drilled so thoroughly for the past few days that she will come across as competent and thus erode Hopey’s lead and gain back some confidence among McCain-leaners.
Also, she DID enhance her foreign policy cred. by practicing for her debate near the Mexican border.
As we see the, ahem, depth of Palin’s “intellect”, I’m pretty sure that a successful day for her is when she doesn’t get her tongue stuck to a frozen metal post.
Doglessliberal: Let me get this straight… you want a governor to jerk him on national tv tonight?
Doglessliberal: Oh, and she’s been busy getting drilled? Your comments are very revealing… tell me about your mother….
grendel: Well, THAT would be must-see tv.
mattbolt: She’s going to show up 2 minutes late with Trig under her arm and say the babysiter cancelled.
“Ah, hey that’s a nice question, but look at little shnookums here, he just made the cutest little burpie scrunch on his face…” - the camera will be on the kid for 90 minute and that will be the end.
Sometimes the little head tells the big head what to do. Trust me, you don’t have to pass any IQ tests to be a white male.
what is she doing in Superman’s palace ?
Hmmm…the same number who think Bush is still doing a good job. What a surprise.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Wait, she looks like the little brother after he got bundled up and then had to pee.
But seriously, upon further review, doesn’t she look like Ralphie? Ralphina Bible Spice?
donner_froh: “Women drive like this–’doo dee doo dee doooo!’ Men drive like THIS–’dum dee dum dee dummmmm!’”
1 in 3? That many? Really?
capitol hillbilly: I’m confused. What are the other 0.1 percent? Are 1-in-1,000 Alaskans hermaphroditic?
who wears oven mitts out into the snow besides…um….unless she is waiting for the special bus.
For those old enough to remember: I know Dan Quayle was a dumbass, but was he treated as this much of a horribly retarded liability in the ‘92 election as Palin is being treated now?
AfghanVet:
Yup. The intellectually retarded.
grendel: hey, YOU are the one interpreting them this way. They were perfectly innocent.
capitol hillbilly: doesn’t her voice sent men’s teeth on edge as it does mine? Her voice/accent combined with McCain’s “my friends”=if this ticket wins, I will need to voluntarily deafen myself for the next four years.
grendel: That’s convenient, since Sarah is a governor
…by the way the drinking game tonight is as follows:
-Every time she says “Alaska” take a drink
-Every time she says “Maverick” or “Outsider” take a drink
Thats it! I’m pretty sure these two rules would be sufficient to put a horse into an alcohol induced coma.
why do most Americans hate Americs?
Whoa, is that Russia in the background of the picture above?? Or can she see Japan from her front porch?
mattbolt: yes. Remember the “tomatoe” fiasco? The “You are no Jack Kennedy?” It didn’t affect the outcome of the election, but it sure prevented any further political career for little Danny. That and his deeply scary wife, who might well have been a vampire or a man in drag, something we will never really know.
mattbolt: Yes. Yes he was. And Lloyd Bentsen got to be mean to him, too with that “You’re no Jack Kennedy, BEATCH” comment.
All of my in-laws think she is fully prepared to be President; it is a truly pathetic thing to see…it takes every fiber of my being to keep from calling them the first in a series of evolutionary links; slightly elevated above swamp gas. The best response I’ve been able to come up with is to leave the house and walk into oncoming traffic…death is preferable to being surrounded by morons at family gatherings. Especially when they’re watching cars drive fast in a circle; waiting for an accident…preferably one that involves a car flying into crowded stands. Or even worse, when they’re watching a program in which a group of six men are firing high-powered rifles at a lion…laughing and giggling at how pissed off the lion got before it died. So far I’ve only had near misses in traffic; maybe a walk down a train track would be more effective…yeah, drink a shit load and fall asleep on the track…that seems to be effective…
I’m in California…how do reasonable men live in Oklahoma, West Virginia, and Akansas?
…does the fact that one of those ice sculptures is a “Chinese Pagoda” mean she has foreign policy experience with them as well?!
mattbolt: Bush Sr. had some years left in him…McCain is toasty…
I LUV that photo of our Snowbilly Gal. The mittens are just too much.
She’s an Ice Princess!
AngryBlakGuy:
How about a game that won’t get us drunk within the first 4 minutes?
Some things to look for tonight: Joe approaches Sarah from podium, pokes her in the chest and/or lifts up her General Mao/Grand Moff Tarkin jacket, says “are these on? go ahead, Karl!”
Is she wearing Mittens in that photo? Can we finally resurrect Mittens?
The alt text on pic #2 is an insult to hobbits everywhere, dammit.
33% of America is hopelessly, irretrievably retarded. They’ve gone full-retard and don’t know how to come back. You never go full retard. Never.
AngryBlakGuy: But it will be pronounced in her nasaliest Fargo-est voice: uh-LEEEESS-kuh. And say maverick like it means he’s Chief of the Apache tribe.
sailingthestyx: You sir need constant medication and supervision. Perhaps you could find some peace at quiet at Alcatraz.
Did we really need a poll to tell us this?!
That 30-33% are the same folks who still give Dumbya high approval ratings, remember?
Doglessliberal: Potatoe, potato. Tomatoe, tomato…let’s call the whole thing off.
(It was “potatoe”, but I’m an elitist, so go figure.) And, yes, Marilyn Quayle IS a tranny vampire.
It wasn’t the little brother who stuck his tongue on the flagpole, it was their friend (?Schwartz?).
Wow. That second picture. I didn’t know one could stand idiotically, but lo!
Doglessliberal: Patato?
jodyleek: ah, right, potatoe. I got my moron VP moments mixed up.
mattbolt: Totally. I mean, the man inspired an entire journal devoted to his dumb-assed-ness (The Quayle Quarterly, to which I subscribed, even though I wasn’t old enough to vote). Snark was slower then.
jodyleek: who no doubt tied Danny up at night and beat him. You KNOW there was that vibe going on with those two.
NoWireHangers:
No one looks good in a parka.
is that second photo real?
and if that second photo is real… WHY WON’T BARACK OBAMA APOLOGIZE!?!?!?
Serolf Divad: Ah yes, the hunting parka and boots. Dickhead Cheney wore those to some solemn occasion like a Holocaust remembrance. Robin Givhan in the WaPo tore him a new one for lack of respect (basically, he could have afforded a nice overcoat, but didn’t bother)
these have got to be the same folks that think G-dub is doing as awesome job. i’d like to meet one of these mythical creatures, i wonder if they have horns…
gom: Of course it is. Palin is building her ice palace. The ice palace will replace Camp David and is built on the backs of Santa’s Little Helpers who are illegal immigrants, thereby providing cheap labor at a time of economic peril. What a MAVERICK!
Curious mathematical fact: Only 37 percent think Palin is qualified to be president, but 44 percent say they are voting for the McCain-Palin ticket. So, 7 percent of Americans are perfectly happy to gamble on turning the White House over to any random retard.
Doglessliberal: Spank me, mommy, spank me! I’ve been a bad, bad speller.
AngryBlakGuy:
-Every time she says “Ya” (as in “I’ll ya fuck”) take a drink
-Every time she rambles on with buzzwords and talking points and we all forget the original question, shoot whatever is left in your glass.
Doglessliberal: Well, CNN/Time now has Hopey up by 9 in Virginia and by 5 in Florida so Grampy and Governor Yup-Yup are going to have to start working hard to get back into the game.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/01/battleground.polls/index.html
sailingthestyx: I narrowly escaped such a potential set of inlaws. Don’t know how you do it.
Doglessliberal: Ahh, yes. You are exactly right, I remember her fondly. Maybe a vampire AND a man in drag. Kind of Cindy McCain-esque mixed with Wicked Queen from Snow White.
and yes, Quayle was on a par with Sharia Plan and was roasted by everyone, including on teh teevee.
She should audition for this pr0n:
http://www.geekologie.com/2008/10/sarah_palin_lookalike_needed_f.php
Unfortunately, “No anal required.”
She obviously has the foreign policy experience to NOT BLINK when dealing with the Yeti Mandarin Snow Monsters who rule over Magical Chinese Ice Pagoda Land.
mattbolt: He even got called out on Murphy Brown for being a dipshit. Palin’s only been called out on SNL as far as I know.
Serolf Divad: Barack would. Somehow he would. It’s one of his super powers.
XENIA, Ohio - A western Ohio manufacturer is offering a custom-designed hunting bow inspired by Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.
Lakota Industries Inc. announced its “Sarah-Cuda” bow Wednesday in honor of the Alaska governor’s “lifelong passion for the sport of hunting.”
The pink camouflage bow weighs 3.4 pounds and is designed to accommodate female hunters and archers. It retails for $590.
Lakota chief executive Dick Williamson said the bow also pays tribute to women who “bear the responsibility of family and work while strengthening the moral fiber of society.”
The company will donate 10 percent of Sarah-Cuda proceeds to the National Association for Down Syndrome. Palin, 44, is a mother of five who gave birth earlier this year to a son with the genetic condition.
http://home.peoplepc.com/psp/newsstory.asp?cat=strange&id=20081001/48e2f5c0_3ca6_1552620081001135442686
The fuckers pink??? Sexist stupid fucking dumbass cocksuckers - how’m I supposed to hide from the fucking mooses with a goddamn pink bow?
ihasasad: I remember that. Quayle started the mess by making some comment about Murphy Brown being pregnant and not marrying the father. I was pretty young when that was going on, but I remember being slightly confused/disturbed by the fact that the Vice President was getting his boxers in a bunch over the child rearing decisions of a fictional character on a CBS primetime sitcom.
Barrett808: NOOOO!! MY EYES!!!
It’s like I’ve seen Bay Buchanan naked. Excuse me while I go fellate a shotgun. And swallow.
Barrett808:
OMG! Shooting begins in 10 days!?!?! How can they expect an actress to research the role completely and have the script down by then!? My hat’s off to any actress talented enough to pull it off.
Doglessliberal: her voice is raga music to my ears. but i’ll betcha a lot of fellas just hit the mute button when she comes on teevee …
Doglessliberal: One of my friends swears they’re going to try to wire her tonight. He says if she wears her hear down, be suspicious.
Hmm, mostly men like her now. WWJT (What Would Jezebel Think)?
NoWireHangers:
I dunno, even square jawed models of ambiguous ethnicity can’t make parkas look good.
Here’s Han Solo with parka.
Here’s Han Solo without parka.
Schadenfried: Seems like it would be easier to hide something in the beehive. But yeah, I wouldn’t put it past them.
Strappo: Schwartz who later went on to do porn (I believe). So rest assured, gents, Bible Spice has a 2nd career should her political aspirations go down in a blaze of glory.
Rush: Someone just put the “Best of Palin” clip from Olbermann onto your tubes: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=q-Z3-UFYpNE
Barrett808: My first thought when reading that ad was that they should name the movie “Drill Here, Drill Now.”
In a related poll, two in three voters polled think one third of voters are complete fucking idiots
Why does “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” only have two guests tonight? And why is there a moderator instead of Jeff Foxworthy?
Late to the roadkill I know–One in THREE still think this ditz is qualified? Jeebus, that means I’m Alan Greenspan because I can balance my freakin’ checkbook!
Could it be that the nation is weary of intellectually vacuous and embarrassingly poor public speakers being the face of our nation both domestically and abroad? Would she be put under such a microscope if W had not been the Preznit he has been for 8 years? Statesmen and leaders should be statesmanlike - meaning that they should be able to speak well, know stuff about the government, and not come across like a idiot when they talk about the courts, the legislature, what their own policy is or relations with our soon to be overlords from China.
She’s a disaster of the highest order partially because she’s an idiot, and partially because G.W. is an idiot and for some reason we don’t want an idiot in the White House again.
She has not articulated a single unique policy insight, a single unscripted moment that was not a disaster, and clearly the campaign feels that she’s a disaster as well because they are controlling access to her so tightly. I mean Jesus, why are we even having these discussions? She’s a fail dumpling swimming in a sea of chicken shit soup.
Fail Fail Fail.
mattbolt: Dan Quayle’s gaffs that made him look like an idiot came AFTER he was elected, the spelling bee in particular. (but, in all honesty, DQ was looking at a card that had the incorrect spelling on it. But that just raises questions about his ability to think on his own).
There was some questioning of whether DQ was qualified to be President, but then again, we really weren’t worried about the possibility that GHWB could keel over before the next election. (of course, we would have wondered had we known his son was susceptible to death by pretzel). And GHWB never tried to pimp up Quayle’s creds with completely asinine statements as McCarpetbagger has with Sarah.
That Lloyd Bentsen “you’re no Jack Kennedy” bit left Quayle with a ‘deer in the headlights’ look, but had little impact on the election because the top of the ticket was sooo inept.
She’s spunky!
Proud to have been one of the two-thirds from the beginning.
azw88: You are right about the top of that ticket…
It’s so funny that every four years some media outlet does an ESPN style top 10 debate moments, and this one line always makes the cut, and it had no effect on the outcome of the election outcome.
The better part of that exchange is when Q gets all huffy and looks like he’s going to cry, and Benson dismissively says “I didn’t make the comparison, Senator.”
Talk about bitch slapped.
WadISay: They told me I had to fail two tests to be one, so I did.
Where has the Puma love gone?
mattbolt: President Quayle
Doglessliberal: I feel confident that McCain has, indeed, been drilling Palin steady in preparation for tonight’s debate. Because tomorrow he will replace Palin with Minnesota’s very own Tim “Bridge to Nowhere Except Down” Pawlenty. Then he won’t be able to drill Palin anymore. Luckily, Tim’s wife Mary prefers fishing to sex (as he has admitted), so McCain can switch to drilling her.
Those guys do know that if elected, she’s not obliged to have sex with them, right?
obamaslamma: ‘Palace’? ‘Palace’??!! Please! “Fortress of Solitude”.
(The nerd police have spoken.)
DoctorCulturae: true, very true…but of course your suggestion is the same one that my in-laws have proposed for my support of Obama…typically following their most superb response to anything that leans to the left of their position,…”You just don’t get it, sailingthestyx; you just don’t understand”.
40% is more than she deserves. I can’t believe that after those interviews there’s still a bottom the Palin hasn’t hit yet. What’s she gotta do, say Lincoln was the 1st President? Wreck a snowmobile into a crowded market?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
She looks afraid of the pagoda…cuz it’s not Christian-like…
BURBERRY? She’s an elitist cunt!
rebellitor: Do you think that’s why Bubba Clinton has been in the tank for McCain? Maybe McNasty said “Look, just equivocate a bit, and the veep will blow you. Maybe even footnote 209.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/icreport/6narritfoot.htm
Seriously, she’d be so much better with a ball-gag.
mattbolt: As an oldster, I can remember that Quayle got less abuse, but his running mate didn’t have one foot in the grave either.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Only chavs wear Burberry.
Those ARE pretty cool ice thingies though. Any film of Sarah smashing them?
BTW, any bets on how Long before Dan Quayle makes a statement about resenting these comparisons between himself and Mooselini?
V572625694: And of course they won the election.
The only people still standing up for Our Sarah are the stupidest people in the world: Socially Conservative Republican Men.
Don’t forget about Elizabeth Hasseldreck. Or, wait, no - forget about Elizabeth Hassledreck…
That is so fucking sexist.
Teh Americun peeple luvved thats othr man-idiot hoo gots 2 b Prezdent.
How dare anyone accuse Obama of being elitist! Palin is wearing a Burberry scarf! A BURBERRY SCARF!
Yuppie: She shall be our first Vice President Chav.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav
Seriously, read the definition and tell me I am wrong.
Here’s the bad news: “One-In-Three Voters STILL see Palin As ‘Qualified’”…
http://www.campaignful.com
She bought the Burberry scarf on Canal St when she was in NYC for the UN. The guy at the stand wanted $20, but she haggled him down to $12. With those kind of skills, she’ll win the debate tonight for sure. She also picked up a Goach bag.
McCain / Palin threaten 30 years of women’s rights progress
join the resistance that is taking action: http://www.saysme.tv/wamp
our PSAs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IS0PJdE0Cs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTNTtpwpWXI
wampcampaign: How about ramming McSame’s head up his ass (should be an easy fit since the magnitude of his assholeness exceeds even his ego) and then saying…well, technically that’s a human life in there so will have to let him carry it to term.
sailingthestyx:
reasonable men in Oklahoma, Arkansas and West VA?
Everyone knows Arkys are all inbreds. I don’t have a clue about the ‘billies in West VA but I can speak with authority on okies:
Reasonable men and Oklahoma are never used in the same sentence. Big oil put something in the wells years ago and polluted the water table with stupid. If you doubt me, just watch Jim Inhofe explain that Global Warming is a ratings gimmick for the Weather Channel.
Bet you never know TWC sits on top of a global cabal, didja’?
Beans: Hope I didn’t offend you…basically listed the states my in-laws are from…as for the drinking water, can you notice the taste? and as to TWC, a horrendous cabal, won’t let my grandchildren watch their programing
Offend me? I’m in Oklahoma. I feel responsible to spend half my time apologizing for the dum basses down here.
Beans: thanks, bro…good to see that I was being way too general…I actually served, many years ago, with a guy from Bartlesville who had his ducks lined up pretty tight…played drums and introduced me to Traffic