Wonkette
- The House will probably approve this new bailout plan, which is exactly what was said last time. [New York Times]
- The Senate had a busy day yesterday, as it also voted to re-open nuclear trade with India. Looks like your President Bush is no longer without a single foreign policy success, hooray! [Washington Post]
- Apple is threatening to shut down its famous iTunes Music Shoppe if royalty rates on songs increase. [Times Online]
- Remember crime? It was this thing, in the 80s mostly. Don’t feel bad, no one’s mentioned for years anyway because of the Terror Threat. [Wall Street Journal]
- All the Asian stocks are still falling, even though this bailout was half-approved. [Reuters]
- Ted Stevens’ lonely boys pen pal club was just a “ruse” designed to land the thieving octogenarian free trinkets & home repairs. [Los Angeles Times]
I’m willing to bet that GLASSES! goes on the offensive and makes fun of Joey the Shark’s hairplugs. Or his deceased first wife. Any takers?
Crime. Isn’t that the government policy of the past eight years?
Hunter Gathers: Why not his daughter too? I bet it’s something like, “I would think my opponent would know the pain that comes from losing a child.” Cue Joey B.’s head explosion.
Did anyone see Stewie Leibovitz on The Daily Show….he “interviewed” Peggy Noonan and didn’t ask her about Palin and “bullshit”. I mean, is it up to Colbert to ask the tough questions? Sheesh, he marries a shiksa and goes all respectable. At least Colbert delivered the goods to Bushie’s face.
“Ted Stevens’ lonely boys pen pal club was just a “ruse” designed to land the thieving octogenarian free trinkets & home repairs.”
Oh, so it’s Teddie who’s been sending me the emails about a very good business deal & just needs my credit card number to help me get my long lost earnings from the Nigerian lottery. Got it.
BobLoblawLawBlog: If she did that, Biden would be completely justified to rip her lungs out. And America would rejoice in Joey B.’s destruction of the evil Harpie from the North.
Hunter Gathers: My hunch is she’ll pick on his nice elitist couture, making him seem effeminate. Or east coast elitist something. If she came out and popped open a Coors she’d be crowned queen.
Again, even if she absolutely sucks it’s a victory for Wingnuts United. I think she’ll bash the elites about the head all night. It’s her natural tone, the Reagan teflon thing. Righteous indignation and defiance. Remember ‘red meat?’ She’ll try to answer every question in a way to ignite Wingtardia. Of course that will piss off Libtardia, but they want that.
My secret hope from her: one vibrating nonsensical sentence. Something I can tattoo on my forehead if they win.
DoctorCulturae: Coors Light.
DoctorCulturae: “My secret hope from her: one vibrating nonsensical sentence. Something I can tattoo on my forehead if they win.”
That is something I can absolutely guarantee will happen.
She’ll rile up Wingnuttia and offend Libertardia all right, but will also piss Independents slick the fuck off, and the needle won’t move at all. Dumb ass Repubs still think this is a base election.
The NY Times had a headline saying the Congress backed “Nuclear exchanges” with India and I though, Oh great, another Bush-era war - and this time with Atom Bombs.
If I were Apple, I’d just wait till the media companies run out of money. Thanks to the orgy of mergers in the 90s, media companies have run up debt like a shopaholic with 20 credit cards. Wait till the inevitable implosion and then Steve Jobs will rush in to pick up the pieces for pennies on the dollar forcing the rest of us to play all our media on Quicktime.
McCain is skeptical about nuclear exchanges with the Indians… He says we still need to evaluate our shipments of boom-boom-sticks and fire-water.
ManchuCandidate: The Treasury Department is already looking into replacing the US Dollar with PayPal.
The local news’ concern? The Christmas shopping season. WTF?
Moderator: “Senator Biden, you have two minutes to rebut Gov. Palins remarks…”
Biden: “Thank you, I yield my two minutes to Gov. Palin so she can make a further ass of herself…”
Servo: Of course. It’s October. Didn’t you know that X-Mas starts in October now? Buy your X-Mas presents now before the Chinese take us over and make us all Commies (commies don’t believe in Jeebus, you know).
Shorter Debate:
Palin: BAAAWWWWWWWW!!! Katie Couric haet Joe 6-pack! Also, Russia!
Biden: If you can’t handle Katie motherfuc…. (Palin BAAAAAAWs as interruption)
Palin: (whips out Trig) Why do you haet my retarded baby? In addition, Roe v. Wade is teh suck because it requires Barack Obama to abort them!
Or am I being too optimistic about how this will go?
Johnny Zhivago: Don’t forget the smallpox-infected blankies!
What do you mean no foreign policy success? Don’t forget Poland!
Hunter Gathers:
They’re worried that little Jimmy won’t get as many lead-covered toys this year.
4tehlulz: Yes, I think you are being way optimistic. I am prepared to be forced into a fetal position by the midway mark. And yet I find myself strangely compelled to watch tonight.
Wingtardia. Nice.
I have seen a bit of comment along the lines that Palin’s ignorance might be refreshing! will be interesting to see how her ‘down to earth’ ‘unpretentious’ lack of competency actually plays with the great masses / independent voters?
Some pundits criticise Obama for being too cool and intellectual - I guess by that logic someone who is anti-intellectual (or comes across that way) will have a certain appeal?
Pretty high risk strategy going into a live debate tho - play dumb and hope the public love you for it!
Hunter Gathers: Mehopes Keith-O, Rachel M. et al put the kybosh and teh jinx on Gov. Lips for strafing us with QUIPPABLE QUIPS. There will be sudden upbeat in Libtard toilet flushings.
dey was crime back in seventies, too, don’cha know… dey was even an unindicted co-conspirator (how’z dat for parsin?), some tricky repub feller i think it wuz… lived in a big white house back east somwhars… but hey, justiss has been surved, an th’senate has abolished the tax on wooden arrows fer th’kiddies, er so i hear (on bloomberg, but i cain’t find th’link jess now)… cupids, draw back yer bows… circlar firin-squad tam… be careful, y’coold put an eye out wit one o’them thangs… but yer meddy inshoorins will cover it, mebbe… mebbe not, looks like a pre-existin condition… you had it befor y’got t’the hospital, rat? then iss a pre-existin condition… sorry, no coverage…
Why haven’t we discussed Sarah Palin’s 3rd private e-mail account, which the owner of the IT firm that set it up describes as being shared with confidants, co-workers and the enigmatically phrased (and suggestive) “man she sleeps with.”?
Ted Stevens is kind of like Santa, only he gives keeps all the gifts to himself.
regarding the upcoming House vote: Please, God, would you let Pelosi say some more choice things about the Bush Administration again, so the Republican minority will again be “offended” or whatever? I’d love to know that the collapse of civilization occurs because their fucking feelings got hurt.
I really don’t give a shit about Palin anymore as long as Wonkette keeps up the Fitness Factory Outlet ad up.
Ifill: Welcome.
Palin: Good ta be here, dontcha know.
Biden: Hello Gwen.
Ifill: We will begin with your opening statements.
Palin: Ya know, in Alaska, we are like a microcosm of America the beautiful, for spacious waves of twilight gleaming. And so, we must, in the context of the umbrella of American jobs, cut 1 in 5 earmarked abortions in order to shore up our lending markets.
Ifill: Okay… Senator Biden?
Biden: You’ve got to be kidding.
Palin(smiling): What’s the matter Joe-Not-Six-Pack? With your elitist Amtrack. Can’t kiss a pit bull? Or are you just jealous?
Biden: What?! What does that even mean?
Ifill: Governor Palin can you please clarify your remarks?
Palin: This is just another example of the liberal elite and their gotcha questions.
Palin storms off the stage in protest. Joe and Gwen look at each other. The audience is dumbfounded.
Ifill: Well, we still have 85 minutes of coverage and a whole lotta companies paid for commercials. Anyone for the Cha Cha Slide?
The DJ spins the record and everyone does the Cha Cha Slide.
THE END
Ceribus, the company founded by John Snow former treasuury secty is looking at selling Chrysler to the Russian.
I don’t care what Sarah Plain sez, just so long as she sez lots. I am like a meth-addicted chimp at this point, longing only for another great big hit of her unique Haiku To Nowhere.
What is wrong with me that a woman with all the charm of a WalMart greeter and the smarts of a beauty school dropout is now my MUST SEE TV?
I cannot stand her voice, loathe all she stands for, am mortified by her every utterance, yet can’t bear to miss a single syllable.
WTF? Please. Help me.
I’m beginning to think this will be a private show for Wingtardia. Most of us are not meant to watch.
Kinda like when you browse by one of those reality talent shows, people are going wild and you just go ’shrug.’ She’ll jump up and down, do her routine (cartwheels, etc.), mug, prance about, make some indignant nasal noise, and then say ‘I won.’ “See, I didn’t fall on my face. I can take on those east coast guys!”
ForeignSickSpecialist:
Fuckin’ great!
Hmm, Sen David Vitter (R-La) rose to speak against the bailout bill. His “life experiences” have put him in a position to bring some powerful symbolism to these discussions.
Geez, Ted Stevens? Political corruption? Whoda thunk it? **banging head and reaching for vodka**
This is going to be a LOOOOOOONG day. Stevens on trial (the comic relief), Palin about to either surprise the hell out of Joe or implode, my 401K going south, the House not being able to find it’s ass, McCain looking like a troll on steriods on the teevee this AM, Barry up in the polls (that’s the good part, but I’m afraid to hope for Hopey)….I picked a bad time to give up Xanax.
Anyone else want to hide in a cave (domestic, not terrorist supported) until 5 November?
DoctorCulturae: Crime. Boy, I don’t know.
Canuckledragger: A jones for the Bible Spice. Ug.
YBCsteve: [I]Play[\I] dumb? Who said anything about playing dumb?
LOL. Check this clip out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR_JFpD02D0
[In which pundit declares that Palin is so shakey on policy her best strategy is to make up an excuse - any excuse - and pull out of the VP debate!!]
ElectoralGradStudent: okay, maybe i was being too generous…
Ted Stevens? Isn’t he roaming the Alaskan wilderness fighting the Wendigo and Wolverine by now?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/