There were many frayed nerves Monday — about 777 frayed nerves, or more than $1 trillion in soiled panties — when the loopy House of Representatives voted against a giant government spending bill to help homeless Wall Street executives buy one of John McCain’s unwanted mansions. But everybody with money can rejoice again, because the Senate voted tonight, 74-25, to approve an even bigger spending bill that includes not only the original $700 billion blank check for Hank Paulson, but also a lot of those “earmarks.” John McCain voted YES, obviously.
He needed a team of handlers to explain which part of the Capitol was “the Senate,” as he has been there exactly twice in six months, and once was last week when he both saved and destroyed the global economy by showing up for a day and canceling a crucial Letterman appearance.
Barack Obama was there, too! He voted for it, but quietly, with dignity and a serious shaking of the head, probably while McCain threw clumps of feces.
Let’s see, 74, 25 … that means only one senator wasn’t there! Must’ve been Ted Kennedy, who is sick with the cancer. Yep, the news-googles agree with our guesstimate.
So, now the House will approve this Senate-y version because … why not? Unless the House refuses it, because Newt Gingrich threatens to hold back on reach-arounds in the House gym.
Senate Passes $700B Rescue [AP Yahoo]
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Out, out damn earmarks! Ah the dreaded sweetening! Next bailout… scatch that, rescue, will be public education in wingnut states.
What will the markets do tomorrow? I thought they modified this bill… made it closer to 300 million, silly me.
Hooray! Now we can all get back to curing our characters and such not. Is gin still the answer to all our flaws?
According to my calculations, that’s at least 100 Saginaw houses for every American.
Responding to this news, the New York Stock Exchanged entered Thursday trading with a well-executed triple axle / double loop combination, and – yes! Nailed the landing!
Then the economy got hit in the knee with a pipe by Nancy Kerrigan, who hates freedom.
A. Stanton’Gin and sex. Don’t forget teh sex.
“Gosh! This was a step — for this great nation (of ours) — that was taken under the umbrella because we’re sick. You know, I mean, I’m sick, of course. We’re all sick, ill, yes, (more ill than sick?) and I mean, the American people. Because it is, of course, a bailout that began with Fannie and Freddie, which became the road that we were on in the future, which is so important because of what we’ve learned in the past, the Great Depression is what I’m speaking about now, of course, and all the other challenges and experiences that have been, well, experienced by this great nation (of ours). Health care.”
Ken’s link about Ted Kennedy went to some left-liberal site from the Northwest, which includes gay Idaho. The post lists how senators in Wash., Oregon and Idaho voted. Our American Hero Larry Craig voted yes. And this was the respond from a reader of the Web site:
“I am usually not inclined to agree with democrats…I would like to THANK the writer of this blog for getting the information of how our Senators voted out so quickly. I must say that I am now very glad Larry Craig is leaving office. “
it’s a great day to be alive. now i can build my “bike lane to nowhere.”
Yippeee. Do I get my ghetto wind turbine/satellite dish combo now? I heard there was something in there for new fangled green energy.
Swallowing something distasteful (in the House on Friday) just seems so much worse than a “bail out”…but I guess the members have a lot of practice with that.
We’re all rich again!
Ken, this needs a “Newt Gingrich reacharounds” tag.
WHOO HOO! TONS OF MONEY FOR USS!
Okay so when do I get my check? Where is it? WHERE IS MY CHECK?
Oh I know! They are hiding it for our birthdays!
Maybe mommy is storing it in her closet? Maybe it is outside? Maybe santa will bring it for X-Mass?
And oh ya… see you all in hell. When we’re going to hell, I’ll be running from you crazy fucks somewhere far away in the desert. Far, far away.
“Barack Obama was there, too! He voted for it, but quietly, with dignity and a serious shaking of the head, probably while McCain threw clumps of feces.”
But they were serious anal projectiles, meant to keep us on our course of victory in islamic Iraquistan and adjacent Calgary.
But in good news,
“Exemption from excise tax for certain wooden arrows designed for use by children
EXEMPTION FOR CERTAIN WOODEN ARROW SHAFTS.–Subparagraph (A) shall not apply to any shaft consisting of all natural wood with no laminations or artificial means of enhancing the spine of such shaft (whether sold separately or incorporated as a part of a finished or unfinished product) of a type used in the manufacture of any arrow which after its assembly (i) measures 5/16 of an inch or less in diameter and (ii) is not suitable for use with a bow described in paragraph (1)(A). The amendments made by this section shall apply to shafts first sold after the date of enactment of this Act.”
So the Liberal “Certain wooden arrows designed for use by children” lobby can shut the fuck up and go along with it all.
We now haz much Visa credit cardz spending to be done again? Huzzah!
I remember way back when, we had this government surplus, and Bush decided to buy our votes with $300 American. And it came with a letter, saying it was from George Bush’s personal stash, and he was giving it to you as a personal favor. I think one of the provisions of the bailout should be when any services are cut, when someone loses a job or benefits, George Bush should have to send a handwritten note of apology.
[re=117777]kondrat[/re]: Does this mean lawn darts are legal again? I heard on the news that Obama wanted to take away our lawn darts.
[re=117775]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: But not too far, I hope, to keep us from buying at the “dented can” bin at the local ShopSmart as we dicker for bags of Puppy Chow.
No. Of course no.
I was watching CSPAN2 around the time they were voting, and I noticed they listed McCain’s Yes vote with a lower case ‘y’ (all others were upper case)..
Uh, just something I noticed. Please send food.
[re=117757]DoctorCulturae[/re]: The word “public” is anethema in most Southern states. It implies admission to buildings and access to white queen-agers by the melanin exposed.
[re=117782]S.Luggo[/re]: If we knew better, we would all start writing books. The Grapes of Wrath weren’t written on papayas, don’t cha know.
[re=117765]SloppyCronkite[/re]: Wait, Larry Craig is still a senator? wth?
And I’m sorry to Ken for whatever we did to anger you. I will blow up Western Nevada next weekend and ban you from the Eastern Sierra through family-type gunfire. Or even worse, I will tell families California City that you hold the keys to their travesty, and that you are some kind of Santa character sent to save Southern Mohave from themselves. King Pope Cat must appear for the duel.
[re=117784]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: McCain puts country first and capitalization second.
Does this mean we beat the terrorists?
You cannot pay off your credit card by putting it on your credit card.
Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t like having my pocket picked.
700 billion dollars in discretionary spending, and they throw a 110 billion dollar tax cut on top of it. There is no way that tossing on a bonus “Iraq War” worth of debt onto America can cause a depression. This is just like student loans, you can just keep taking them out because one day you will be rich.
[re=117801]NedPepper[/re]: Rip Van Ned Flandereses wakes up from an eight year coma. What the fuck did you think had been happening up until two weeks ago?
[re=117791]MrAgro[/re]: Nice!(y)ay! #174;epublicans, God™ and Country© will solve any hoo-haa in the “financial system”.
[re=117807]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Lemme try again, the ®epublicans.. whatever, I’m drunk.
Left a Steaming Pile of Shit™ for whomever© (anyone without a trust fund) to tackle¿.
It’s 4 am out here in San Francisco and we’ve been up all night, waiting for the returns of the Senate vote on the $5,000 billion golden parachute. (No fog, the cable cars have gone to bed and we’re on our 23rd bottle of Genevieve gin.)
Out of sheer boredom – and the batteries on the remote ran out so we wre stuck on C-SPAN for six hours – we checked out the NY Times Caucus blog and saw this exchange:
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/01/not-so-secret-handshake/
This sucks, I had a great spot staked out at my local Hooverville for the coming apocalypse.
See world? It’s valuable! Has to be. Why else would we buy it from ourselves? Onward Ho, Bubble.
Now, really, I don’t understand all this “economy” stuff. If the only reason (as it seems) for having taxes is so that politicians can give everybody big tax breaks so nobody has to pay any taxes and then when “the economy” is in trouble they just give it a whole bunch more money, wouldn’t it make more sense to just do away with taxes all together and let the government just print the money they need?
I know it sounds crazy and inflationary and stupid but, seriously, with some safeguards built in, like if they screw up they get penalized somehow, how would it be different than what we’re doing now, except simpler?
…and the reason it’s a small y is because the North Vietnamese pulled his arms right out of their sockets for five and a half years, Alan!
I was checking a list of senators who voted no and I came across Senator Crapo. Of Idaho.
Thank God Senator Craig voted yes. Or thank God Senator Crapo voted no.
I’m so confused.
[re=117810]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]:
Honestly, I don’t think McCain ever wanted the challenge of being president.. He was ‘chosen’ but really doesn’t want the job– he’s stuck. I think he wants no part of anything, including Obama. He’s angry, thought he would get more out of serving his country, but he’s stuck with Cindy’s binding wealth because real men need a young heiress. Didn’t vote for the GI Bill– two words ‘Hanoi Hilton’; because he endured so much more… I think he wants out, period. He chose Palin as a deliberate political move, but shades of old man “whatever” are there. He’s tried to be a maverick, but it didn’t work. He’s been beaten down by this administration and I don’t think he gives a shit anymore.
[re=117817]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I should revise that to say, “He’s been beaten down by this administration and his own life and failures and I don’t think he gives a shit anymore”.
I never was in the Navy. Do you start bailing before or after the rats have left the ship?
smoke filled roomate: I agree. He’d like to be king or ruler or fraternity president, anything to show the smarty guys. He’s becoming the fall guy for the entire conservative project: a playboy warrior free market deregulating Selfishist. At least the real conservative Repubtards have a popular constituency beyond the beltway. But don’t ‘Mericans on some unconscious level know maverick=asshole?
McCain is an earmark whore, a naughty, naughty earmark whore.
Did McCain’s sale go through after her reminded everyone how much money he’ll be saving the U.S. taxpayer by having a mere woman in the job of Veep? They work for trinkets like hot rollers and floor wax, not so much the cash-ola.
While we got fucked in the ass last night, at least an Obama Administration will have the decency to give us all a reach around, like any true gentelman would.
I also have a sneaking suspicion that WALNUTS! doesn’t like the darkies. Or anyone who won’t toss his salad.
Somehow I still get the feeling that we are doing something akin to paying for a new transmission on an ’86 Ford pickup. This might solve one problem for a few weeks and then the engine is going to blow.
[re=117832]Cape Clod[/re]: But hopefully in a few weeks(literally), a grown-up will be running things. And the grown-up will completely rebuild our ’86 Ford pickup, and have it running better than it has been for the last 8 years. Unless Whitey screws us again. Watch out for that Whitey fellow. He’s a sneaky fucker.
[re=117795]Vanity Smurf[/re]: What if I’ve got two credit cards?
[re=117777]kondrat[/re]: So what you’re saying is, the Shaft Act passed?
Staring off into space in office. Wondering how much I can get for melted down gold jewelry.
I expected the vote to be 66-33, after all only a third of the senate is up for re-election this year. Were those eight yeas brave souls, or do they just have safe seats?
[re=117811]WagTehGod[/re]: I’d still hold my spot, if I were you. While giving away $700+ billion in taxpayer money was a bold move, it probably wasn’t a particularly bright move. I’m just glad I’ve got 5 acres of land on which to establish my own little Hooverville. Unfortunately, I’ve only got a 20-year-old pellet gun and a huge pile of empty beer bottles to use as defense against the starving zombie hordes. Anyone who wants to join me better have some great farming, weaving, carpentry or sexing skills and be willing to accept me as mayor for life.
[re=117806]trondant[/re]: My partner and I saw this coming five years ago and took action to not get caught up in the flip this house mentality, we lost no money or assets due to this bust in the economy. What I was alluding to was having to now pay for others bungling and greed. Or better put in the vernacular of the street and this so you understand my position clearly, others peoples Fuck Ups.
Why didn’t I have the wisdom to abandon belief in idealism and the goodness of this country when I was 18? I would have made bank. As it is, I’m stuck throwing rocks at expensive cars to express my potency.
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