WONKETTE INTERVIEWS  2:55 pm October 1, 2008

EXCLUSIVE: Wonkette Interviews ‘Washington’s Only Wasillan,’ On Gchat

by Jim Newell

There’s a big VP debate watch party tomorrow night in Washington, D.C., at the James Hoban’s bar in Dupont Circle, and its guest of honor will be a gal named “Elizabeth.” Elizabeth, for those of you not IN-THE-KNOW, is the most famous celebrity in the world now, as she is “the only Wasilla resident living in Washington, DC.” Can you even imagine how rich she must be now? And yet, Elizabeth was kind enough to let your associate editor Gchat her in the middle of the day for an informal interview. Among other topics, we discuss Wasilla’s famed retail outlets, meth, moose guts, what Bristol Palin’s REALLY LIKE, and Palin’s years as Wasilla mayor. Does Elizabeth like her hometown VP candidate? Well, here’s a hint: this party tomorrow night is doubling as an Obama fundraiser. Interview below!

me: What’s the deal here. You’re not really from Wasilla are you?

Elizabeth: no.
ha.
yes, i am.
truly.

me: Born and raised?

Elizabeth: i was not born there, but moved there when i was 9.

me: Why would you move there?

Elizabeth: and lived there until i was 18 and could get the fuck out.
um, because my parents did and i did not know, at 9, that emancipation was an option.

me: It is! Abraham Lincoln made it so. Too late now though.
So you hated it!?

Elizabeth: ummmm, i wouldn’t say i hated every minute of living there.
i mean, it’s home, so it has a certain nostalgia for me.
but, i do not want to live there now…

me: What do you get nostalgic about most? The four Taco Bell/KFCs or the Check$ Ca$hed outlets?

Elizabeth: definitely the Check$ Ca$hed outlets.
no.
i mean, my family, my friends, my high school (also sarah palin’s high school).
the normal things you would think about from your home town.

me: Wasilla high, of course!

Elizabeth: oh, and the Cotton wood Creek mall.
loved that place.
it’s gone now, to make room for the Target.
yes Wasilla high.

me: Did you know that the guy who broke into Sarah Palin’s e-mail got in there by knowing that Sarah Palin went to Wasilla high?
It was her “forgot your password?” question.

Elizabeth: haha, really? i did not know that.
how dumb.
of her.

me: I’m getting the distinct impression that you are a filthy liberal.

Elizabeth: can’t get anything past you! :)
did the fact that i am doing this for an Obama fundraiser tip you off?

me: no, your RAGING SEXISM against Sarah Palin did.
wait.
Cotton Wood Creek Mall?
Is this where the kids hang out?

Elizabeth: yes, wasilla’s humble mall.
it was.
it got torn down so they could build the Target.
bastards.

me: Did Sarah Palin authorize that?

Elizabeth: haha, i don’t know, i wish i could say she did.

me: (btw, ha ha, who tears down a WHOLE MALL?)

Elizabeth: well…to be fair, it was like 5 stores.

me: So you are describing a “strip mall.”

Elizabeth: well, it was a little more than that.
not much, but it did have that common inside area.
where the kids could hang out.

me: And do meth, right?

Elizabeth: and a high school band could play on occasion.
oh yeah, and do meth.

me: What percentage of Wasilla is on meth, right now?

Elizabeth: 99%.
i don’t know.

me: Holy cow.

me: Look, “elizabeth,” let’s cut to the chase.

Elizabeth: my real name is elizabeth!

me: Have you ever killed a moose and ripped its guts out, for food?

Elizabeth: no…but i have watched my dad do it.
does that count?

me: Yes!

Elizabeth: my family was very traditional.

me: Is it fucking gross?

Elizabeth: the girls didn’t do the hunting.

me: Oh boo.

Elizabeth: yes it’s fucking gross!

me: Describe what a dead shot moose looks like when it is being “cleaned.”
Graphically.

Elizabeth: i don’t know! like a dead animal with it’s guts hanging out.
lots of blood.

me: Have you seen the Empire Strikes Back?

Elizabeth: yes.

me: I just imagine it looks like that weird sticky rice crap that comes out of the space wallaby that Luke kills for warmth.

Elizabeth: ewww
i was pretty young, honestly, so i think it’s in the repressed memory bank.
all the details.

me: Healthy! So. Palin.
Did you know her?

Elizabeth: no i did not.
my sisters went to school with her kids.
my youngest sister is a year older than bristol.

me: Oh! Which kids? Track, Bristol, Willow, Dino or Ewok?

Elizabeth: so they knew of one another.
no, not all alaskans name their kids by looking out the window.

me: Is your youngest sister pregnant too?

Elizabeth: no, my youngest sister has the good fortune to have a raging liberal of an older sister to tell her about birth control.

me: does your sister know Levi, the redneck father?

Elizabeth: i don’t think so, i mean, she went to high school with them so she knows of him, but they aren’t friends.

me: Yeah, he seems like an ass. I guess if they had been friends, your sister would’ve gotten pregnant automatically, birth control or not, because he is a horndog. Anyway.

Elizabeth: jesus.

me: Was Sarah Palin a good mayor of Wasilla or did you not care because it’s not an important job?

Elizabeth: i did not care at the time because it was when i was 14-18 years old.

me: Those are important developmental years.

Elizabeth: but i can definitely say now that i don’t care because it’s not an important job

me: So here in the mid-atlantic, we judge mayors on two things: (1) does the mayor do crack? and (2) when snow comes, are the streets plowed efficiently and swiftly?
What is the mayor of Wasilla judged by?
How many new Sonic Hamburger restaurants she can bring in?

Elizabeth: it’s actually the size of the Wal-mart that really matters to Wasillans.

me: And now the Target!

Elizabeth: Wasilla has the biggest Wal-mart you have ever seen in your life.
it’s absurd.

me: Serious?

Elizabeth: yes and now Target.
yes.

me: Did you work at the Wal-Mart?

Elizabeth: haha no.
it was actually opened after i had moved away.

me: So AFTER SARAH PALIN WAS MAYOR?

Elizabeth: yep, so there you go right there.
failure.

me: What a shitty ass mayor.

me: So you moved to DC straight from Wasilla. Is DC really ANY better?

Elizabeth: i actually moved to Vermont from Wasilla, so it was a more gradual transition.
DC is different only in the ratio of white trash to every other ethnicity.

me: Are you really the only Wasillan in Washington?

Elizabeth: ummm, my friends and i think so.
i’m actually not sure though.
i personally don’t know anyone else from Wasilla that lives here.
it’s a dubious distinction if it’s true….

me: Had you ever met a black or a gay before moving from Wasilla?

Elizabeth: i had met a couple black people.
i had met people who i think must have been gay, but were not out.

me: No they were just on meth.

Elizabeth: going even to vermont from wasilla though, was quite a culture shock.
right.

me: That’s so scary. I’ve been to Vermont many times. There isn’t much there!

Elizabeth: haha, true.
but there is more there than there is in Alaska.

me: OK LAST QUESTION:
Based on your experiences, do you think Sarah Palin will have an easy transition to any actual human city when she and McCain win?

Elizabeth: no, i think she will be petrified.
and disoriented.

me: wait till she sees dupont!

Elizabeth: because you can’t see Russia from here.
yeah, it’s not going to be a pretty scene.
although, the next time a moose gets hit in the circle (which, let’s face it), you would know who to call to take care of it.

The “We Can’t Believe Elizabeth is from Wasilla” vice presidential debate watch party with Elizabeth will run from 6:30 to 11 p.m. tomorrow night at James Hoban’s, 1 Dupont Circle NW. These scummy liberals will make you pay $25 for Barack Obama in order to gain entry, if you’re into that sort of thing.

 
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{ 82 comments }

jinmoom October 1, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Why did I read that whole thing???

Serolf Divad October 1, 2008 at 3:04 pm

You know, if it could be shown that Sarah Palin once got lost in an Alaskan snow storm, and shot a moose and tore out its intestines and made camp inside it’s hollowed out chest cavity until the storm passed, just to survive, I’d totally vote for her… especially if it turned out that she got the idea from watching The Empire Strikes Back.

choinski October 1, 2008 at 3:06 pm

I don’t know why they keep harping on Palin able to see Russia from Alaska. The only place you can see Russia from Alaska is Little Diomede Island, and Palin was there about 12 years ago for the BBC.

Oh, wait, that was Michael Palin for the circum-Pacific Travelogue “Full Circle”.

Nevermind!

rambone October 1, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Some real “gotcha” questions there Jim. Suggests a genuine lack of ethics, if you ask me, cause I once saw that news anchor on TV (you know, the one that looks like Gene Shalit and said we lost in Nam) so that means I’m qualified to say stuff like that now.

NoWireHangers October 1, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=117060]jinmoom[/re]: Ditto. But it’s good to see that Jim has human interaction sometimes. That might have been borderline flirting.

wanmeili October 1, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Damn, so close. I’m from Wasilla, too, but I live in Baltimore.

ella October 1, 2008 at 3:10 pm

I like Elizabeth. And I hope she remains the only Wasillan in Washington for a long, long time.

CivicHoliday October 1, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Haha, Elizabeth, you’re adorable. I hope you’re helping evacuate your sisters before the end times sucks them up to heaven with the rest of the Alaskans.

Hairy Reed October 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

[re=117060]jinmoom[/re]: I ask myself the same question, every time I read the whole thing. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. Especially when Ken and Jim do it.

qwerty42 October 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

jeeze, I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of a moose getting loose in dupont circle. Cheney would probably just shoot one of the bystanders, call it a day and knock back a single malt. sara will get the job done right.

SwanSwanH October 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

[re=117061]Serolf Divad[/re]: – What’s your favorite Star Wars movie, Governor?

- All of ‘em.

- Even the one with Jar-Jar?

@ Jimmy Newell: Courageous interview, James.

Hairy Reed October 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

[re=117071]wanmeili[/re]: They’ll have to gchat you too, now.

2druk2phluq October 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

This is dangerously close to real journalism. I am concerned. I know Wonkette is going through a hard time right now, with all the Sarah Palin traffic going through here, but turning to journalism is not the answer. With the help of friends and family Wonkette can get through this without using journalism as a crutch. Get a sponsor, too. Try Bill O’Reilly. He’s about as far from journalism as you can get.

Q2 October 1, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Bend over and hang on Elizabeth. Your in for a nasty ride.

grendel October 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm

You didn’t ask her if she did meth, or if she was on meth right now, or if she could get you some meth… meth meth meth

ShaqsDong October 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm

[re=117071]wanmeili[/re]: You’re supposed to come closer to civilization, not further away!

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm

[re=117071]wanmeili[/re]: Really? [pulling up a chair] You must tell us EVERYTHING. Immediately.

nurple October 1, 2008 at 3:14 pm

I was in Quebec, and the girls in Quebec do the fishing. They stand in little clique groups at the end of the piers, with their typical American mall outfits, FISHING. I didn’t see a single boy fishing. Quebec is the coolest place in the world.

Monkey October 1, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Dear Mr. Dr. Associate Editor Newell PhD.

YOU FORGOT TO ASK HER IF SHE’S HOT!!!

Damn.

HollowBrain October 1, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Erm…Space Wallaby?

SPACE WALLABY??

IT’S A FUCKING TAUNTAUN JIM. A TAUNTAUN.

This website needs a fact checker. For real real.

pondscum October 1, 2008 at 3:18 pm

This will be the only time ever I will be jealous of you in DC. I WANT TO GO TO THAT BAR AND WATCH WITH LIZ! Please, take pictures for us.

JadedDIssonance October 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Wompas and Tauntauns. What is this site coming to?

Fuck Walmart.

grendel October 1, 2008 at 3:20 pm

[re=117092]nurple[/re]: Wait…. Oh…. You said fisHing… ok.. .

grendel October 1, 2008 at 3:20 pm

[re=117097]HollowBrain[/re]: <<<< dork

Tommy Says Soooo October 1, 2008 at 3:21 pm

I didn’t see one questions about “snowballs”. Not ONE.

natteringnaybob October 1, 2008 at 3:22 pm

She painted up her lips and rolled and curled her tinted hair

WagTehGod October 1, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Ruh roh, I think our Jim has a secret crush. The dead giveaway was asking Star Wars question, it’s what we men talk about when we’re nervous around the ladies even if we think it’s a good idea at the time.

Monkey October 1, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=117106]grendel[/re]: <<<< hater

tunamelt October 1, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=117097]HollowBrain[/re]: You can’t park your tauntaun here.

HollowBrain October 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=117106]grendel[/re]: Yeah, let’s see who the dork will be after I win all of John McCain’s money for solving the energy crisis with my home made X Wing Fighter!

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/images/oh/OHKENxwing04.jpg

larz October 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm

I’m surprised to hear that Palin would have torn down the Glamour Shots and replaced it with a Wal-Mart.

WIDTAP October 1, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Oh man. Elizabeth totally avoided answering the question about Palin keeping the streets clear of snow. What is Elizabeth hiding?

Jim, you’ve got to ask the follow-up questions.

Godot October 1, 2008 at 3:30 pm

OK first of all, Han Solo cut open the tauntaun that Luke used for warmth. Luke had already passed out and was delirious. Second, the tauntaun had just died on its own from the extreme weather, Han did not kill it.

I’ve had it with this site’s Imperial bias. Wonkette is in the tank for Vader.

Rusty Shackleford October 1, 2008 at 3:33 pm

That Elizabeth’s one smart cookie. She bolted Wasilla BEFORE the Wal-Mart opened up. Once Target, Best Buy and Costco set up shop, it’s the beginning of the end for that humble little podunk burg.

obfuscator October 1, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Why have I not seen a “I thought they smelled bad on the outside” joke yet?

Texan Bulldoggette October 1, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Hmm…that Elizabeth has some good snark action going. Do I sense a future Wonkette editor in the making?

grendel October 1, 2008 at 3:38 pm

[re=117127]HollowBrain[/re]: Haha you win… an eternity in your mom’s basement ;)

grendel October 1, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=117146]Godot[/re]: That post was full of win! Way to show the Star Wars dorks how to be funny at it!

ihasasad October 1, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=117114]natteringnaybob[/re]: Ooooo! Isn’t the guy in the song hurt from bein’ in da war? Is this McCain n Palin’s song????

LittlePig October 1, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=117146]Godot[/re]: Nope. Han gutted first.

Worst_of_the_Best October 1, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Elizabeth: well, it was a little more than that.
not much, but it did have that common inside area.
where the kids could hang out.

me: And do meth, right?

HA

Elizabeth: no I did not.
my sisters went to school with her kids.
my youngest sister is a year older than bristol.

me: Oh! Which kids? Track, Bristol, Willow, Dino or Ewok?

HAHA

Elizabeth: i had met a couple black people.
i had met people who i think must have been gay, but were not out.

me: No they were just on meth.

HAHAHAAAA!!!

I love this interviewer!

nurple October 1, 2008 at 3:43 pm

That structure on the side of Mug-Shot is not a stairs. It’s a slide.

Iggy Plop October 1, 2008 at 3:44 pm

you DID NOT ask what Bristol Palin is really like, Mr. Newell. that’s o.k. i wouldn’t want the truth to interfere with the answer i have already in my head.

WadISay October 1, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Kan i haz ten minnits of my life back, plz?

magic titty October 1, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Well, I’m from NYC, where our mayor is basically ignoring the term limit rules (granted, term limits are stupid) and is decreeing himself the H.N.I.C, until further notice.

Now that’s mayoral politics. Get a piece, Mugabe.

Beans October 1, 2008 at 3:48 pm

[re=117092]nurple[/re]: “Quebec is the coolest place in the world.”

Because the women do the fishing? WTF are your standards? hahahaha

Beans October 1, 2008 at 3:50 pm

I forgot to ask: Is Ken moderating the third debate? This was a warmup, right? Now that you’re into serious journalism and shit?

teddysalad October 1, 2008 at 3:57 pm

gchat + o = gotcha

Serolf Divad October 1, 2008 at 3:58 pm

[re=117207]Beans[/re]:

Seriously, Ken, Jim and Sarah (our Sarah, not McCain’s) moderating the debates would be the best fucking debates evah… you’d read about it in history books for years to come.

JadedDIssonance October 1, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Really, the whole “no, not all alaskans name their kids by looking out the window” line is PRICELESS.

nurple October 1, 2008 at 4:06 pm

The Wonkette Commentariat will summon the candidates for personal questioning in plenary session, a la the French Senate in the days of Dreyfus. We must make certain that Serolf Divad and AngryBlackGuy are separated, as footsy is injurious to the decorum of the Chamber.

Barack Like Me October 1, 2008 at 4:08 pm

[re=117077]qwerty42[/re]: There was a dead deer across the street from Cheney’s place on Mass Ave a few years back that I spotted as I was passing by and being the civic minded citizen that I am I informed the N/O front gate guards of its presence and they, well, they just laughed at me.

Its decaying carcass was still there 3 days later, which is the key difference between the Alaska Disaster and Cheney. For her it would have been no bother to dress it, haul it home, make deer bacon out of it, fry it up in the pan and feed it to her spawn.

Beer4Prez October 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm

“Joe six-pack American”? Really? Why does that average American have to drink six-packs? For true, if Obama said that he’d be attacked by Fox for insinuating all gun-toting bitter hicks are alcoholics too. That characterization is biased, bogus, and untrue. Most Americans are hardworking folks that don’t have time to down a six-pack because they are too busy trying to get health care for their mothers and feed their kids. Plus, I’m a liberal elitist AND a woman (I know I”m just horrible) –> who drink six-packs of PBR likes it’s my thesis.

On the other-hand she means “Joe six-pack American” as in those model guys posing for PlayGirl, well then yes, she has a point. Pretty looking things w/o brains really MUST identify with her.

villageatrois October 1, 2008 at 4:20 pm

[re=117261]Barack Like Me[/re]: Oh, she has spawn? And they grow up to be fries? And then become minnows? And then the ones that aren’t eaten by bass are Governor of Alaskastan?

I realize Darwin didn’t have the whole story. 114 Surahs told me so.

natteringnaybob October 1, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Ruby are you contemplating standing on a chair.

Beer4Prez October 1, 2008 at 4:20 pm

[re=117292]Beer4Prez[/re]: ugh, here see http://wonkette.com/403190/finely-a-journalist-treats-sarah-palin-fairly-not-in-the-tank-ly for what I”m actually talking about. Fail.

Jukesgrrl October 1, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Elizabeth seems smart and charming. She must have only done meth on weekends.

CollegeStudent October 1, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Having met many Alaskans, I think we should send them all to Vermont before we allow them entry in the rest of the country. You know, sort of a decompression chamber/deprogramming camp.

edgydrifter October 1, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Failacuda knows that moose hunting is God’s will, on account of the time she plugged one in a moonlit clearing and when she went to gut it she found that the beast had dipped it’s hoof into the bullet wound and used it’s own blood to draw a cross in the snow. So touching.

Digdig October 1, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Elizabeth was obviously given the questions beforehand.

nurple October 1, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Barack:

I oncet tried to get a deer carcass cleaned up in my town, but it was on railroad proprety so the town wouldn’t touch it. It just decayed away, in the middle of town. On the upside, I got to watch the succession of insect types that visited the remains. I could give Gil Grissom a run for his money, altho I’d rather give Sara Sidle same.

qwerty42 October 1, 2008 at 4:51 pm

[re=117261]Barack Like Me[/re]: Yeah, I think Sarah would have no problem dressing the late moose. though to be fair, I think Cheney would have had one of the servants field dress any bystander he shot. I don’t think he would have left the body lying around for days after. deer, otoh? not so much.

AG October 1, 2008 at 4:56 pm

get this girl on staff!

BrutallyHonestBabes October 1, 2008 at 4:58 pm

[re=117097]HollowBrain[/re]: And here I’ve been laughing at Space Wallaby for a full five minutes, and intend to work it into my everyday conversation everyday.

tiger October 1, 2008 at 5:06 pm

VIVA ELIZABETHA! I love this chick. Escapes through Ben-And-Jerry Town, and makes her way to DC, morphing into a libtard. Priceless.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland October 1, 2008 at 5:49 pm

[re=117146]Godot[/re]: win!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland October 1, 2008 at 5:56 pm

[re=117200]magic titty[/re]: And I’ll bet that the mayor of New York wouldn’t ever tear down the quaint and historical mall with space for teens to hang out and do meth, and replace it with, say, a giant Targée or Wallymart, right?

I mean, doesn’t New York still have its original baseball stadium built by Henry Hudson with the help of the Manhattoes and the Dutch West India Company? That’s soooo cool! I heard you can see France from the upper bleachers.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland October 1, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=117077]qwerty42[/re]: And why exactly do you think there ARE no moose left loose on DuPont?

Yup, Cheney. Something about a work-around with Forest Service regulations superceded by Department of Homoland Insecurity.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland October 1, 2008 at 6:11 pm

[re=117229]Serolf Divad[/re]: [re=117248]nurple[/re]: Huzzah for a Wonkettes Presidential Debates Commssion!! [You don't have any forthcoming books about white libtard politician types, right?]

Jim’s outstanding satire of “real journalism” cough cough is exactly the kind of in-depth and comprehensive coverage we the peeps deserve in this erection of the century.

Now, where to hold it….Malcolm X College in Chicago? Wasila High in Eastern Siberia? The Ben and Jerry’s auditorium in North Waterbury? Or how about old man Hoban’s place on Moose Circle in Northwest (not as fancy as those Georgetown cocktail bars…)?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/displacedtexan/blogstartdatefeb052005/gitmo-prisoners01.jpg

SisterTruth October 1, 2008 at 6:52 pm

Elizabeth is absolutely charming. Honestly, there is something very powerful about someone from Wasilla hosting an Obama rally in DC. I know what it’s like to not fit in where you live. I’m glad you took the oveair railroad to the lower 48. Elizabeth, we salute you, dear.

qwerty42 October 1, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=117456]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: it all falls into place now.

tocute2btrue October 1, 2008 at 7:37 pm

The Latest<<<<<<<<< McCain wants me to disclose my Campaign contributors.
Osama,Yo Mama,and a couple dozen crooks.
Am I the only one that thinks McCain is HOT? Dam what a ass on a man.

ladymacbeth October 1, 2008 at 9:46 pm

[re=117092]nurple[/re]: HA! i was in quebec last weekend and it was awesome. i plan to move to canada soon.

rocktonsammy October 1, 2008 at 9:56 pm

We did they get the paint for that odd looking building? Bet it was on sale.

Did our gal conceive there?

ivenson October 1, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=117097]HollowBrain[/re]: THANK YOU……

wanmeili October 1, 2008 at 11:10 pm

Well, since some people have asked, I will put in some tidbits of my own about Wasilla and Palin.

1) Sarah Palin used to attend a Wasilla dance studio my mother owned in the late 80s. My mom remembers her as a nice enough person, but I don’t remember her at all.

2) I have no idea where Palin acquired her accent. No one else in Alaska speaks that way unless he or she is from out of state, and has not lived in the area for very long. There isn’t anything particularly wrong with the accent, but it is definitely not of Alaskan origin.

3) Cottonwood Creek Mall was a real indoor mall (not a strip mall), but it was not very large, and the rent was so exorbitant that most of the businesses were forced to move to other areas, leaving many of the spaces vacant. I’m always sad to see parts of my childhood torn away, but it had become pretty useless, so the city decided to appropriate the land for a better purpose. Personally, I am glad to have that space allocated to Target.

4) Wasilla does have a large Wal-Mart. Part of the reason for this is that there were no other decent options for shopping aside from relatively small, overpriced, often poorly-stocked local stores, and it is true that most people from Wasilla are not exceptionally wealthy. I must say, it is the nicest Wal-Mart I’ve ever been to… for whatever that’s worth.

5) There really isn’t much in the way of racial or ethnic diversity in Wasilla. Despite this, most of the people I grew up with did not express any racist tendencies, and as a mixed-race person, I can only remember being teased once in my entire time living there. Then again, I do know that a lot of Alaska Natives still face discrimination in the state after being seriously shafted by the government, so other people have almost certainly had a different experience than I’ve had.

6) I was extremely surprised to hear Palin basically describe herself as a redneck. In an interview, she mentioned having a business license in the Mat-Su Valley for an endeavor called ‘Rouge Cou’, which she explained was “a classy way of saying redneck.” If she had described herself as a ‘sourdough’ or something similar, then I could understand it, but redneck? Seriously? No way, no how, not regionally accurate.

7) Everyone I have spoken with back home was shocked at her nomination, and it actually encouraged many people who normally do not bother with politics to find out more about the candidates and consider voting for the Democrats for the first time. As was posted on this site previously, we recently had the largest political rally in the history of the state for Alaskans against Sarah Palin for VP. Not everyone in Alaska is enamored with this woman.

8) That being said, there are still a lot of Alaskans who do not have internet access, and have rather limited resources for fact-checking. A lot of misinformation is spread by word of mouth, and many people do not find it necessary to go out of their way to verify most of the rumors they hear about any of the candidates. There is a very strong Republican base in Alaska, and although there will probably be more people voting Democrat than before, this is not likely to sway the overall direction of the electoral votes. Luckily, we only have three in contention.

9) There really isn’t much to do for recreation in Wasilla unless you love the outdoors… or alcohol, or weed. I don’t know about the whole meth epidemic. That must have developed while I was away. We have one small cinema, a bowling alley, and a couple of parks (and many fast food restaurants, as has been previously noted). Then again, the mountains are five minutes away from some parts of town. They are gorgeous and very accessible, offering absolutely stunning panoramas of pure, unadulterated rivers and lakes for your viewing pleasure while you smoke and drink your ass off.

10) I could never accurately describe the magnificence of the surrounding area. It’s something you really have to see to understand. Even though I don’t think I could ever move back there given the lack of job opportunities in my field, I still miss it terribly at times. I don’t believe I’ll ever rid myself completely of the heartbreak of being so far away from an area I love so deeply, to which I have no viable options for return. I have never found anything that compares to the feeling of standing alone in a field of snow, away from any hint of civilization, and staring at the stars as the northern lights drift by in waves overhead. Honestly, even thinking about it makes me want to cry, it’s just too beautiful.

11) Elizabeth, I don’t know you, but I am glad to know of you (as a fellow Alaskan) and your efforts on behalf of Senator Obama. I’ve been running my mouth about his virtues and Palin’s weaknesses to anyone whose attention I am able to capture, but it doesn’t begin to compare to your efforts, and I thank you for it.

^__^

ivenson October 1, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Dino! Ewok! I am totally hoping that Bristol has twins and names them Oldsmobile and Windex. Or maybe (in a nod to her favorite movie “That Thing You Do”) Skeetch and Shrimp-shack.

AlsoFromTheValley October 2, 2008 at 10:08 am

I’m in DC and from Wasilla.

Sorry Lisbeth!

natteringnaybob October 2, 2008 at 10:27 am

The shadows on the wall tell me your campaign’s going down.

Oh Ruby. You’re such a fucking clown.

Steph Kaye October 2, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Dear Wonkette,

Ditto on being a “Wasillan in Washington.” I am such a one…or two, or maybe more? Wonkette is not so smart as the guys who run this site make it out to be, is it?

Make sure to do your homework before posting superlatives. A catchy title (“Washington’s Only Wasillan”) it may be, but incorrect. I don’t usually read blogs for just that reason, but a friend sent this to me. (I’m recommitting to that resolve after reading this article.)

Avidly Alaskan
Stephanie

Jim Newell October 2, 2008 at 8:15 pm

[re=118851]Steph Kaye[/re]: “Make sure to do your homework before posting superlatives.”

Oh god, you really don’t read blogs, especially this blog, do you? The whole point of blogs is to take something that sounds funny and harmless and put it on the Internet immediately. Sorry you didn’t get to be the famous one.

Steph Kaye October 4, 2008 at 11:07 am

Dear JimNewell,

I don’t need to be the famous one. I already am enough for my own taste, and I don’t consider being on Wonkette “fame.” I just don’t like poo-poo cluttering the Internet (so anal!), but you’re right. It is just funny and harmless. There are other sites and blogs, though, that millions of people read and mistake for the truth. That annoying symptom of the Internet, mixed with my Alaskan (and “Wasillan”) pride, just got under my skin!

Be good out there, and remember to appreciate human interaction!
Stephanie

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