Wonkette
We aren’t convinced this is anything beyond not knowing how to get off the thousandth stage he’s stood on this year — AmericaBlog says he maybe had a stroke, because of his twitchy eye — but here’s your “oh dear christ Sarah Palin could really end up as president if McCain doesn’t kill us all first” video moment for the day. [AMERICABlog]
I hear he drove his Buick into the crowd after the event.
Helllloooo Cleveland!
Stroke. Any day now. Please, please, please, dear Sweet Baby Jesus. Stroke. Bonus if it’s in front of a teevee crew.
i’m still waiting on the old man i’ve fallen & i can’t get up moment a la castro, so close but yet still so far…
Watch as he whirls like a dervish! Round and round and round, Grampy goes. Where he’ll stop, only the Straight Talk Express, knows.
Dear God,
This is your world, and therefore everything which happens in this world is your will. But please don’t allow this fucking asshole to manipulate his way into the presidency.
Sincerely,
Q
Well we know he has Dimensia for fuck sake. Give him a geography test.
Hell, that’s not confusion. If you want confusion, put Sarah Palin inside a giant lampshade and watch her bump around in circles until the lightbulb fries her to death.
A stroke does not cause twitching. Please, can the amateurs leave the medical diagnoses to people like us? We at least come up with fun stuff. Like, herpes of the face.
Vanity Smurf: Stroke? Smurfie no mean that God. Smurfie make a bad snark. Smurfie no want President Palin to lead us in The End of Days. Bad Smurfie…bad!
“Wandering” is a criterion of incipient senile dementia.
I thought Palin was the one that needed the leash!
NoWireHangers:
Nah, he drove the wrong way onto a divided highway and killed a busload of viet cong orphans.
first he goes t’the right, then he goes t’the left, then he goes t’the right, then he goes… is he a maverick, or a flip-flopper?…
That’s what you get for no flagpin.
Today we are all stumblebums.
Dear God! He’s becoming Ronnie Raygun!
Botswana Meat Commission FC: That cindy then adopted posthumously.
Q2: Of course not. I want the mean old fucker to stroke out on stage before the election. Really leaves nothing in doubt when the choice is Bible Spice or Hopey.
Ah, the memories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWib8GbrIlA
Faceplant!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVJ0bTbh9d4&feature=related
That’s not a twitch. He was winking at America, saying “I know this is all crap coming out of my mouth, but someone has to do it!”
Now ya’ll are just bein’ mean, wishin’ ill on the Mav-Man. Don’t hope that way, ’cause with him outta the way, the BASE gets what they been prayin’ for.
Can I buy stock in SNL?
well, after the full thermonuclear exchange with Russia, this will all seem so unimportant. let’s keep this in mind and not go overboard.
wait …
Q2: Amen.
AnnieGetYourFun: My grandfather has had several strokes and it has been (according to doctors) the cause of one eye being lazy and not in sinc with the other. Just saying…
Vanity Smurf: No no no. Do NOT hope or pray for a stroke for anybody. That’s just wrong.
But yes, if he does have one, let’s hope it’s in front of a camera.
But is that a metaphor for his campaign, or what? Go to the capital, not the debate. No, wait… not the capital, campaign headquarters. OK, go to debate. Then some place else. Then, ehhh … Iowa? I know my way - I don’t have to stop for directions!! Dammit!!
My fav quote so far this week:
Some Republicans are …wondering why, for example, he’s back in Iowa this week, a state few independent analysts see as being in play and where public polls this month show Obama enjoying a double-digit lead even before the economic meltdown. Asked why McCain was in Iowa, one veteran Republican there replied: “Because he’s running a senseless, non-strategic campaign. Why else would he come here?”
greatgooglymoogly: Saturday Night Live or Savings and Loan? Cause McCain’s a goldmine for both.
As I said before thousands of times, this was not filmed at a press conference but in his 90000000 square foot house and he was looking for the potty.
Wait, how did he get ON the stage? Did they beam him in? Was he rolled in on a crate and released?
“…and we would all be better if we kept the example of this fine American* in front of us.”
*Vicki Iseman.
I thought he was going to be on that stage for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.
The twitchy eye thing is definitely new, at least in the last could of years. But he did have a big hunk of flesh cut out of that side of his face in the skin cancer surgery - that might have something to do with the funny eye thingy. I mean, when was the last time you saw Joan Rivers blink normally?
AnnieGetYourFun: But how would he have caught herpes of the faARGH DON’T VISUALIZE IT NO NO NO NO
Vanity Smurf: Noooo! That would get him oodles of sympathy votes from the brain damaged demographic! Whoops, he’s already got that, OK, AL, KS, UT, NE, ND, SD, AK, etc.
God, I’d love to play Marco Polo with WALNUTS!…in the desert…
More McCain fodder at:
http://www.democratbydesign.typepad.com
Democrat by Design Poster Project
@Delicious: please God let it happen. I hear you don’t really dig prayers asking for bad things to happen to others, but please just this once could you make an exception? even you’ve got to have a sense of humor, you know you want to do it!
Like rolling your ‘73 Nova into a parked car whilst holding the drivers door open and pojectile puking onto the street. Or not.
greatgooglymoogly: I think you’ll need to buy some stock in Sheinhardt Wig Company, as NBC is a subsidiary of them.
Also, I thought WALNUTS! had foreign stage experience?
You need a brain to have a stroke.
I was reading Anna Q’s editorial in the back of last week’s Newsweek this AM–yeah, I’m behind–and I found myself tearing up. I never agreed with JSMc much, but I respected him, as she did, as a worthy adversary. I don’t know who this ‘bot is. It’s sad to see the depths he’s sunk to. No snark, just deeply disappointed.
Where was the vaudeville hook?
contentsunderpressure: “projectile”, mutherfuker!
STOP THE TOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/01/sarah-palins-beauty-pagea_n_130901.html
The next installment of Palin’s talent is here!
Bask in the glory that is Sarah Palin.
It’s pretty obvious that the campaign has kicked the crap out of him. Most candidates get run down, even if they’re young and healthy going into the race, and McCain has been fighting Romney, Huckabee, Guiliani, Clinton, Edwards, and Obama since November of 2006. He’s got two choices today. Bow out and retire to his 6 1/2 houses, or end up bunking with the crypt keeper.
facehead:
I was disappointed. I thought they were talking about skin flute.
I don’t know guys. This is getting awfully easy. I mean, my snark is wearing thin as this thing goes on, and on, and on…
“Could” really end up president? Will!
Hopey needs to buy him a hand-held GPS.
Ok. I will give those who are appalled by my cold heartlessness a half-back pedal. I don’t wish him any particular or specific ill. I wish upon him that which is appropriate karmic justice for a man who has lived as he has.
http://desertpeace.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/ebony-and-irony-a-modern-view-of-racism/
Don’t judge McCain because he’s white
facehead: Just how we like her, crosseyed and lips puckered to blow the tube.
His left eye isn’t twitching - his right eye sinply isn’t blinking like the left one. Also, the right side of his mouth isn’t curling when then opposite side does….. and he’s obviously disorientated.
Now if his speech had been incomprehensible, apart from the content of it, I’d rush this man to the hospital…
Hahah! This is hilarious! Debate Training - Biden learns what makes girls cry (WITH HOT PICS!)
Sussemilch: Good. I thought it was just me thinkin that she had a bug on her nose.
Sussemilch: OMG! speaking of Cross-eyed people. Is Sarah cross-eyed on the video Hufpo has of her playing the flute?
facehead: She IS an accomplished flutist. She can see Flute Glacier from her window, and once met Severino Gazzelloni. What more do these elitist gotcha-journalist want?
ms_mcgee: Lazy, yes. Twitching like that, no. I’ve seen my fair share of stroke victims, and usually, one side of the body is significantly slowed. Twitching may occasionally happen, but more likely, the limbs/face of the affected side simply can’t/don’t move as much.
Vanity Smurf: There was a time — around 2000 — when I admired the man…seriously. But immediately thereafter John McCain started selling out, and it has snowballed until now he…like Bush before him…hasn’t a modicum of credibility. Eat shit John McCain. I’m damn tired of eating yours. Don’t die brother…but do, please, eat shit.
AnnieGetYourFun: Neurosyphilis, not herpes.
grendel: Turn on the charm… LOL — smile, no, not like a shark. Awesome.
Itsjustme:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/style/features/2008/rhetoric/gallery.html
Half way down we see her do some sportz commentatin. The bug is on her nose again.
Itsjustme: If you can’t see it, here’s a still: http://www.geocities.com/nullacct/xeyed.jpg
Nice, Walnuts has a wonky eye!!
slappypaddy: Maybe it’s just his version of the hokey-pokey.
NoWireHangers: But the turn signal was on.
facehead: She’s a terrible flute player, off key half the time which I wouldn’t have thought possible. Then the bank plays louder to try and drown out her tootles. Then she stops and stands there as if to say: “I’m pretty, though!”
Sussemilch: Even looks a little like Mary Lou Retton…
Sweet Jesus. The WTF campaign continues. Were Hopey white, he’d be what, 70 points ahead?
It’s not that I want Grumpy Dwarf to die–just to grab his heart briefly and turn blue, on stage, with cameras running. Then, having shocked the world into realizing Two-Guns Sarah is locked and loaded and ready to take the White House, surely common sense will prevail and Obama will ride to victory.
Anyway, that’s my daydream (along with winning the Powerball). What’s yours?
V572625694: If she played any lower she’d be playing in trombone range. Oh yeah, she’s got teh talent and smartz too. Douche chills on top of douche chills.
It’s a nasty biz and pathetic to watch. But even with the Blinkster getting spread thin the Hopemeister simply HAS to keep the heat on.
My Friends, let me tell you about my last colonoscopy…
Walk toward the light Johnny. Your work is done here.
AnnieGetYourFun: Yeah, it’s more like a..a…walnut contraction…or something. The..uh..walnuts..uh..in his face..kinda spasmed. No doubt that happens before the schizophrenic killing rage comes on.
Poor John.
Itsjustme: Good call. Total Mary Lou hair.
What do you think McCain looks like more: Casper, Dr.Evil, Cotton Hill, Evil Monkey, Husky, Jubba the Hut or Evil Overlord?
Have a look at this funny video: John McCain looks like
Beans: surely common sense will prevail
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ha. no.
this is America, remember?
facehead: ah thank ahm in luv! iss not everday y’see a purty young thang smile so sweet an shy while she’s a-blowin…
Josh Fruhlinger: Lobbyist splooge.
I thought we were done with the goddamn blingee competitions?
garmahis: Although I see similarities between Cotton Hill and Jamacain in behavior, appearance-wise the ribbon goes to Jim Lehrer. See for yourself:
Cotton: http://z.about.com/d/animatedtv/1/0/Y/o/koh_DeathPicksCotton_gr1f.jpg
Jim: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/aboutus/images/photo_bio_lehrer.jpg