Wonkette
Got $12 million burning a hole in your pockets? Need a new mansion in Arizona? How about this little place, one of John and Cindy McCain’s unwanted castles?
It’s a 5,000+ square foot estate with nine bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a seven-car garage, an entire extra gourmet chef’s kitchen out by the swimming pools, a 1,750-square-foot guest house, and it’s all on 2.7 gated acres. Remember, you’re middle-class if you make up to $5 million a year, so following the old rule about buying a house — the purchase price should be no more than three times your gross annual income — you can easily afford $12 million. But go ahead and offer $7.5 million, because the real-estate market in Phoenix is wrecked. [Phoenix Real Estate/Phoenix New Times/RealEstate.com]
Anybody know a good sub-prime mortgage lender?
not feelin’ it.
My friends, I feel your pain. As you can see, my wife and I also need to tighten the purse strings.
But do a bevy of Mexican servants come with the house?
Cape Clod:
I recommend Washington Mutual… wait, scratch that, try Lehman Brothers… no wait, scratch that, your best bet is Wachovia… no wait…
Gotcha Media! Elitism You Can Believe In!
Nice pool. Judging from McCain’s complexion he never uses it.
You could make a scathing 527 commercial out of this:
1. Show footage of WALNUTS! many homes; then provide a tour of this property
2. Intercut it with interviews of homeless American families ravaged by the housing bubble; Show some cute white children eating food out of trashcans, or sleeping on the sidewalk next to junkies
3. V.O. “John McCain supports a tax cut for the wealthiest 1% of Americans”
4. Play sound bite of “the fundamentals of our economy are strong” on a loop
5. Mournful folk music runs in background throughout
6. Post on YouTube
7. Profit
buy this one fer twelve mill, he’ll throw in a second one jess like it, fer half the price… get ‘em while they’re hot…
…does it come with slave quarters?
That master bedroom is OBSCENE. And now, thanks to Wonkette, I have imagined Jammakain nude in his natural element. Thanks.
…when your garage can hold seven cars it can no longer be called a garage, its an auto dealership!
dano:
If McCain exposes himself to sunlight his skin will start to bubble up and he’ll turn into one of those Zombie Army guys from “Planet Terror”.
Nice place, but I’m not really crazy about the Tiger Cage in the basement. Cindy was willing to add it to the price of the house for $50 bucks. I was more interested in the well stocked in-house pharmacy, but she said that she was taking it with her for sentimental reasons.
Maybe I can trade a collage for one of those crappy houses. http://homepage.mac.com/mistahcoughdrop/
well, there’s this.
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/10/01/vp-debate-moderator-pens-pro-obama-book/comments/
the commenters on Fox are soooooo funnies.
Piece of crap house: at least one of the bedrooms has to SHARE a bath. Actually more than one does because there needs to be a bath unconnected to a bedroom for guests who don’t rate a sleep over, and for servants, and serfs. That is a travesty. They should knock off $3M just for that egregious lack of amenities.
go fuck yourself old man. go fuck yourself, hard.
Hairy Reed:
Ha, ha, ha! I love the dinning room table, with a huge bouquet of flowers strategically placed right in the middle there so that McCain doesn’t have to look at Cindy while he eats his applesauce and vanilla wafers.
the garage is bigger than my condo.
(last pic in this series http://www.phoenixrealestatesolution.com/530547_24677-7110-N-Central-Avenue-Phoenix-AZ-RES_Detail.aspx )
ManchuCandidate: Isn’t that where McCain keeps Cindy locked up at night so she doesn’t run away?
Can you imagine old johnny, dog paddling across that pool? …face all covered in that Zinc sunscreen shit.
magic titty: I’ve seen better grammar in a preschool fingerpaint job.
Looks like a porn set for a 1970s film. Just shoot it in black and white and you’ve got a hit on your hands.
…we now know why Cindy went all the way to India to get some cheap child labor. It must cost a small fortune to mop all those floors.
The guest house is bigger than my house… Fuck you Jammakain. Fuck you all to hell.
There is not enough Clorax in the world to clean away the knowledge that Grampy took his morning crap in one of the eight bathrooms.
But the neighborhood kids are excited at the prospect of the new owner returning their poorly thrown frisbees and baseballs, so there’s that.
I think I’m ready to bid. Just lined up an adjustable rate, negative amortization, interest-only loan with a teaser rate and no credit check. My buddy Al who works at H&R Block says he can securitize the whole thing and, through a combination of derivitives, shorts, and credit swaps, I’ll have the cash by Friday. Party at my new Arizona place on Saturday!
Gonna have to get the bedroom cleaned to Kosher standards though. That whole naked comment above spooked me.
they list these amenities:
“5+ Bedrooms, Single-Family, Energy Efficient (Green), Multi-Zone HVAC, Multi-Pane Windows, Guest House, Health Facilities, Sauna, Pool, Private Pool, Corner Lot, Gated, RV Park, Spa, Private Spa, Mature Home, Furnished, Luxury”
Health facilities? So you can buy this if you are old and about to keel over and they have abulances on the ready in the development to come cart you away. And it is a gated community and has an RV park, so bigoted old people with mobile homes are welcome.
And “mature home”? It was built in 1951. What does that make McCain? (Ancient)
AngryBlakGuy: racist
By their real estate ye shall know them. Those bedrooms look like thrones! You’d think Cindy’s homes would show as much good taste as her convention apparel….oh, right.
Does the down payment require anal?
The patio reminds me of the large plaza at the tomb of Attaturk. Love that Fascist-modern architecture.
Johnny Zhivago:
She didn’t say, but she had a faraway look in her eye…
grendel: the pool is 2x bigger than my apt. so fuck YOU.
More importantly, why is that house so hideously ugly? Can someone please explain the giant painted leaves everywhere?
It said that tours will be given by appointment. Maybe you can catch Governor Yup-Yup boning up for the VP debate, poring over her ‘Idiots Guide to American History.’
This isn’t real. There isn’t one Werther’s Original candy dish in any of these pictures. Nice try, librul media!
Maricopa County? Isn’t that the home of Lou Dobbs’ favorite Pancho Villa-chasing sherriff? I believe his claim to fame is that he’s the one who makes illegal immigrant prisoners walk around in Aztec baby diapers.
rich people don’t have swimming pools. Noooo, they have lap/play pools.
Baconbits: musta kept the gays away from the decorating job. got a staffer to dreckorate for pills.
Doglessliberal: Aiyeee!!! Thanks for pointing me to a picture of the master bedroom. [Must. Not. Imagine. ANYTHING.]
Meanwhile, what’s the obsession with leaves? They’re painted everywhere! Or is that just a tasteful substitute for money (which would be considered tacky as a ceiling edging)?
Baconbits: some designer clearly had just read an article about “Stenciling for a Fresh Look!”
And note, the place is sold furnished, so all this is just crap they paid a designer tons of money to bring in for them. They are stupid and have no taste and too much money.
Strappo: We must have the same landlord.
But does the furniture come with vinyl slip-covers?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: ah, nothing is too tacky when it comes to flaunting one’s wealth. See, e.g.: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/17/AR2008091703941.html
Hamster: I thought that was what his pancake makeup for teevee consisted of. Because if Walnuts got any whiter he’d be translucent.
Baconbits: cuz they remind him fondly of the jungle in Nam…you know…where he was locked daily in hand to hand combat with…
oh.
Where are the cages made out of bamboo? I’m sure they only have a FIVE AND A HALF YEARS mortgage.
NoWireHangers: I don’t know. But I bet he call his couch a “Davenport”.
Strappo: Is your apartment also filled with water?
Jeebus, the decor is frightening. Was that a Mona Lisa on the wall?
I thing the McCains badly need a visit from the Queer Eye guys.
Doglessliberal: Sigh. I may be poor, but at least I have taste. Thanks for that.
Hey! They have an RV Park! We could go and camp and have cookouts! And, hold on. . . Uh, nevermind.
Doglessliberal: Please, I wipe my ass with Benjamins.
Doglessliberal: And the guest house is bigger than my actually, you know, only ONE house. Fuckers. It’s amazing what mob beer money can buy. I thought all of that went out with prohibition.
Oh, yeah….hahahahaha John and Cindy. There are no rich people in phoenix anymore…..so suck it.
Blech. The tacky fuckers bought a modern house in AZ and filled it up with hideous granny furniture and leaf stencils. They should have all their money taken away from them for that alone.
Serolf Divad: Black
NoWireHangers: I love that because Ifill is a …Negro… and Obama is some of that too, she’s in the tank. And that because he’s a post-Civil Rights movement pol, the book is instantly pro-Obama.
Harhar.
jeebus but that’s one tacky ass house! and yes — the garage is bigger than my entire house and i bet the monthly a/c bill alone is more than my rent! *sigh*
grendel: Actually it was recently. Leaking A/C. Landlord had to replace the floors. Spent over $1000 getting the rugs cleaned and de-stinkified. Lotsa fun.
NoWireHangers: Win!
Most Americans couldn’t even afford the fucking water bill to keep Walnuts’ lawn green and that’s with government subsidized water that these rugged individuals piss away every day.
Cock. Suckers.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Better on the ceiling than dangling in front of wal’s NUTS
NoWireHangers: and line the catbox with shredded bearer bonds?
Bernie!
madtowngooner: Oh shut up. Get govt off their backs!
I demand that his home be featured on an episode of MTV Cribs.
Johnny Mac in the bedroom: “This, friends, is where the magic happens… heh heh… “.
I can’t believe the listing didn’t highlight the Hanoi Hilton-themed fantasy torture dungeon in the sub-basement.
Do you suppose they named this little place “Disturbia?”
Doglessliberal: Nice. My house and yard might comfortably tuck into there. Which, by implication, suggests they paid more in utilities for their garage than I do my house….which means the McCain’s cars have it better than me.
They just felt the need for some austerity, and moved into a small condo:
http://www.luxist.com/2006/10/27/john-mccains-new-digs/
The tax bill on that home is $20,564?! Jeebus H. Christmas! That is just obscene. I can’t begin to fathom the income that can afford that place. Much less 50 more just like it.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Could be. I’m also pretty sure that their sheriff is way hard on drug offenders, not so keen on the 4th amendment, and fond of puting prisoners into chain gangs.
Doglessliberal: 18,000 square feet?????????????? you’d have to have GPS just to go take a shit!
re: stencils - He’s bringing the outside in you assholes.
Cindy is WAY into HGTV.
whatever_dc: Gopherit v2.0: it really is obscene how much money there is being flung around by morons in this country. Neither he nor Cindy ever has had to wonder how to pay for anything.
Gopherit v2.0: The building has original artwork, a resident “party room” with a separate guest entrance from porte-cochere.
It’s the quotes around “party room” which really say it all.
Serolf Divad: Nope….John made sue they couldn’t get in to Arizona anymore (hahahahahaha!). They only use white trash now.
Gopherit v2.0: The Arizona Republic brings our attention to Senator John McCain’s Arizona house, which has been on the market for three months hasn’t sold yet. The McCains have reduced the price of the house to $3.75 million. The nine-bedroom home in North Central Phoenix was featured in the July 2005 issue of Architectural Digest. Mrs. McCain grew up in the home which includes a pool and surveillance cameras. The couple is said to be looking to downsize.
This is from Jan. 2006. I like the last line.
I’m having a tackycardia.
Why does Obama hate America so much that he only owns one house and one call. Let’s just call a, um, a spade a spade and say that he’s an elitist.
Cindy, dear, could you get me some more chinchillas, I need to wipe my ass.
rina: And pink underwear: http://www.pww.org/article/view/4786/1/202/
Arpaio is a major closet case with a S&M streak.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Ironically, the price of our house is 1/40th the price of this McMansion, but our real estate taxes more than half theirs. That’s what living in one of the high-tax, high productivity blue states feels like, instead of the federally subsidized low-tax red ones.
madtowngooner: Seriously, his water bill is probably twice my mortgage.
madtowngooner: oops, one car. ilitrrate librul
This is McCain trying to find his bathroom whatever_dc:
http://www.americablog.com/2008/10/mccain-gets-lost-on-stage-at-event-just.html
Not to change the subject, but at the moment Hopey is giving one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard in Wisconsin.
slomojoe: Dang. That sucks. Of course, being one of the poor who didn’t get me a subprime mortgage when the gettin’ was good, I have no idea what is considered normal for property taxes. That just seemed really, really high. But your situation just sounds anger inducing. I’d take a lot of antacids, were I you.
slomojoe:
The only thing missing from some of those rooms is a polar bear rug. Then they’d be perfect.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: If that house was in Texas the tax bill would be more like $240,000 if it really is worth $12 million. That’s what no state income tax’ll do for ya’ll. Keeps the houses cheap and lets you come out way ahead if you make a lot of money.
Doglessliberal: Furnished, yeah, but would you sit on a couch where McCain spend the last 10 years farting into the cushions?
john edwards’ haircuts were $400!!!!1!!1
Serolf Divad: It’s Phoenix. Of COURSE it does.
ihasasad: Bwah! Turning around once, well, okay. But Grampy looked like a spinning top! “How the hell do I get out of here. Walls closing in. Gotta escape! Aiyeee!!! Five and a half years!”
Gopherit v2.0:
Yes, but that’s because the cistern is topped off with Perrier on a bi-weekly basis.
Serolf Divad: Don’t forget the Billy Bass.
accidental_tourist: LaCrosse, WI brings out the best in Dems. That’s where Al Gore started channeling his inner southern preacher when he was on the “defend Bubba” tour.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Let me put it this way: we can afford it (so far), and we have a great town with excellent public schools in return. I don’t complain about my taxes, I am just pissed at the red states that cheerfully suck at the federal budget tit, keep their own taxes artificially low putting strain on the rest of the country, and keep sending wingnuts to DC.
Serolf Divad: Cistern! Hahahahha. Green lawns in Phoenix are only possible thanks to sucking the Colorado River dry.
Suck it Yuma! Drink sand!
If you lived in this house you would have instant international credentials as you can just barely make out Mexico from the back bathroom (#6).
You would have trade missions back and forth. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Mexico. As Felipe Calderon rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Arizona. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Mexico, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.
slomojoe: unlimited money cannot by class.
Is this the place with the debate preparation room? I assume it’s the one with the restraint devices.
slomojoe: Why do you hate Alaska?
Just kidding. Everyone hates Alaska.
slomojoe: if you’re referring to the current occupant of the white house, let me just please remind you that he is FROM connecticut NOT texas. thank you. (do i sound just a bit defensive?)
dano: One more photon meddling with the wrong patch of DNA in his tattered skin and his VP gets the Oval office. Even he isn’t that crazy. I understand his staffers ensure he only goes out at night.
accidental_tourist: You’re right, but WTF about your avatar?
That was a nice speech by Obama, except for that one part where some leftover drunk octoberfest bastard yelled out and hopey’s needle skipped a few tracks.
ihasasad: hahaha! stupid drunk senile fucktard!!!
must be a republican thing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N4-61oBl8s
slomojoe: Apparently you’ve never liven in Phoenix. The property taxes are so low because county services suck ass. The schools are a joke, the Sheriff is a closet-case huckster, and the infrastructure is falling apart…..but by gods the gov’t isn’t gonna get another cent out of those people!
Normally I would say that the less gov’t we have, the better.
But there’s nothing normal about the United States after eight years of George Bush.
I’d say we need gov’t now more than Ever to help us rebuild from within after suffering through Bush’s personal pet projects.
We have been broken by our current president, and now McCain promises a total hands-off approach so our country can fall even flatter? Sure we as individuals can do anything we want, but aren’t we all supposed to be in this together, and aren’t we all pooling part of our paychecks to the gov’t?
I say thanks, but no thanks to hands off gov’t, at least for now, at least until we can pick up the pieces from a horrendous eight years, focus, and reunite.
madtowngooner: My avatar is a picture of McCain and Palin (Cheney and Bush in a wig).
i love looking at tacky interiors especially if they cost a mint..
but this isn’t Cindy’s style…not enough knickknacks, not enough crummy pictures..
in fact its being sold by the new owners after being redecorated…not the McCains..
I don’t know why I haven’t asked this before. Are there any single beer heiresses on this site? Would you like to have dinner?
Gopherit v2.0: And there is a permanent yellow stain in the air that reminds me of McCain’s teeth.
“A monument to bourgeois taste in what respect, Charlie?”
accidental_tourist: Oooh, I wish I could see it.
Gopherit v2.0: I call that the Elvis principle.
slomojoe: It’s all about location. 2400 sq. ft. on 3 acres in downstate Illinois = $4,000 in taxes. And we’re not in BFE either - right outside C-U and the U of I.
anabellum: Haha. Wonder if they’re facing foreclosure?
the fundamentals of Cindy’s Economy are strong
anabellum: That makes sense. It would have been insane for McCain to have this on sale during the election, and let the media in. Of course, all other indications are that McCain IS in fact insane, so it’s still a wash in that respect.
Gopherit v2.0: No, they water the lawn from the tears of kittens just before they kill them. It’s true, you can look it up just like Walnuts’ claim that Obama supported a bill that would promote fellating all preschoolers, even the girls. He said that again today or yesterday to the Des Moines Register editorial board
No amount of money will purge the old man smell from that house. That’s why they’ve reduced the price.
madtowngooner:
Now, now… the bill clearly only supported the age-appropriate fellating of pre-schoolers. Brit Hume made that point the other day just to emphasize how fair and balanced Fox News is, and how they were in no way in the tank for McCain.
WALNUTS is a MAVERICK against good taste.
If anyone’s got a spare $1.10 and is willing to split the deed with me, I’m willing to offer $5.50 for the house. You can take the guest house and cover the lawn expenses. I’ll pay for the pool upkeep and the meth and condoms in the party room.
*Only* 2.7 acres? Hell, my place is an estate of 5 acres covered by lush cedars, stately maples and whispering alder trees.
Of course the 2 bd 1 bath tin shed I actually live could fit comfortable in Johnny’s garage with plenty of space for a Hummer and my old crapbox Camry…
But I got more trees than McCain, anyway.
OH MY GOD that palace is hideous! It has “Cindy” written all over it…broke-down, unhappy, wanna-be Louis Quatorze…i can see her scanning all those nasty rugs (gifts from lobbyists obviously) for any pill to take her far, far away from WALNUTS! and his smelly diapers…
8 bathrooms are still not enough to contain all the bullshit that emanates from John McCain.
Got $12 million burning a hole in your pockets?
Drat. No pockets.
kdaddy: WIN.
Wow, those VP briefing books must be costing a lot more than the McCcampaign budgeted for. Do they all have custom-shot moose hide bindings?
The swimming pool is filled with Budweiser.
OMG! There’s a CNN video tour of the place! http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/09/30/dnt.mccain.house.for.sale.ktvx
I think I love the reporter. “An air-conditioned playhouse for the kids? It’s bigger than my apartment.”
It listed the cooling system for the house as “refrigeration”. His whole fucking house is a cryogenic chamber that he must retreat to for at least 12 hours a day to keep him walking and upright!
Q2: yeah, but what’s my favorite color? Huh? Gotcha…ala Steve Douchebag
This is odd… from zillow.com:
Sold 12/18/2006: $3,200,000
Link: http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7110-N-Central-Ave/7792296_zpid
By the way, it looks like the pool area is paved with lapis lazuli. That may be why McCain decided we have to pay attention to Afghanistan after all. If Cindy’s decorator changes his mind and chooses to re-tile with terra cotta while McCain’s in office, we’ll invade Tuscany.
Another image that proves John McCain can connect with the average American. “Vets know me. They know I’ll take care of them. I’ll put them in one of my garages.”
Cogito Ergo Bibo: jeebusfuckingchrist!!!! that was unbelievable!
Any guesses as to what kinda of car is in the background of the garage shot?
I think Mercedes, which means McCain bought foriegn which is NOT ch-ch-change we cna believe in.
Complete with steel-reinforced underground clandestine Torture Dungeon, staffed by CIA and military operatives around the clock!
Truculent: Totally. The thing to do is get an desperate mortgage company to give you an option arm, then buy a credit default swap on your own mortgage. That way when you go belly up after one month, you get all the cash and can buy a nice place in Manhattan or SF.
Ken, this was very artfully done. I applaud you.
Grumpyshoes: Not really. That’s how much the McCains sold the house for two years ago. Now the 2006 buyers are trying to use McCain’s name to make a tidy profit in the midst of a shitty housing market.
I like McCain, but the Arizona sun should be the last place he should be basking his face in unless there’s such a thing as sunblock SPF 1 trillion. My advice is to move to(or spend most of your time in) states like Washington, Oregon, Wisconsin or Maine.
Is that a body floating face down in the pool? Oh my God, it’s…it’s…
Outstando: I’ll do it, but only if I’m allowed to complain loudly about the govenment intefering with the free markets while I wait to cash the check
I grew up in a house a mile from this house. Our house was much smaller, and not gated. But everytime we drove by, my mom said McCain lives here. Of course, that was back when she would vote for the guy.
Tony K.: The Pacific Northwest does not want McSucker here! While we are kind and tolerant people, we aren’t THAT nice.
Hairy Reed: naked? please.. mccain doesnt fuck his wife, and if he did at LEAST a shirt and black socks would be involved. for christs sake he probably showers in trunks and old sneakers. water is very hard on parchment-like powdery yellow skin.
Cape Clod: Cindy’s lender? Either Freddie Mac or the Firat National Bank of Paraguay de Bush (assets secured by nose candy futures].
But I could be wrong.
Ask Alice.
“People come and go; five move here, three leave. Our static population may be one of the reasons that planned and gated neighborhoods are in demand.” If five move there and three leave, the population is increasing at the astounding rate of 40 percent — which of course prompts the conclusion of “static population.” Yet in Bush League America, this kind of writing passes for common sense. Can someone make enough to afford a $12 million house and not comprehend the stupidity of this statement? Perhaps it’s the old used car dealer trick of trying to appear deranged so the consumer thinks he has a bargaining advantage. (are these the two ugliest expensive bedrooms in America? Methinks.)