• There are exciting new changes to America’s most hated bailout plan, namely tax breaks and a raised deposit insurance cap. [Washington Post]
  • The Senate, which thankfully does not include the House Republicans, will vote on the new plan on Wednesday. [Reuters]
  • For whatever reason, Asia seems to be pretty sure that the new bailout plan will pass, and so all of the markets over there bounced back this morning. [AP]
  • All the college kids who adore their precious Barack Obama so much will probably not even show up and vote for him because that’s how much they love him. [Wall Street Journal]
  • For Mugabe, “power sharing” means something more like “having all power, forever.” In related news, Zimbabwe’s government is on the verge of collapse. [Guardian]
  • When asked, Palin cannot name a single magazine or newspaper she reads (answer: “any of them that have been in front of me”) and then she trails off about god even knows what, literally every subject besides magazines and newspapers that she doesn’t actually read. [Gawker]
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Hunter Gathers

    Wait, she can read? Could have fooled me. I thought she only paid attention to the pictures.

  • Delicious

    She didn’t want to admit she only reads the Wassila Daily Shopper.

  • Delicious
  • Texan Bulldoggette

    She should have said the Bible. I’m also pretty sure I know who her favorite philosopher was, if she happens to get that question.

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116355]Delicious[/re]: I’ve read that rag. Nothing but ads for shotguns , snowmobiles, and used meth lab equipment.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    She is uber-techie, unlike Walnuts. Her favorite site for news is Wankette, er, Wonkette. You should all apologize for going all LiLo on her.

  • slavojzizek

    Tax breaks. Well, that’s reassuring for those of us who opposed turning Wall Street’s bankruptcy into the federal government’s. Go House Repugs!

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116359]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “I’m also pretty sure I know who her favorite philosopher was, if she happens to get that question.”
    Might that be Larry The Cable Guy?

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=116359]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Her favorite philosopher is Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian”. Very ’80s big hair hit. Perfect.

    Our first Power Ballad Vice President, woo hoo. “Motoring…what’s your price for flight?” IN-FUCKING-DEED, you librul losers!

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116364]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Thanks, now I can’t get that song out of my head.

  • bitchincamaro

    She certainly has a way with babble.

  • surfacenoise76

    I really fear the WSJ may be right about the college students.

  • Servo

    By her own admission, she only reads the Cabela’s catalogue on the shitter.

  • villageatrois

    What does her best-friend gay girl have to do with the “morning after pill”? Uhh, nuttin’.

    But… who’s been cheating on who? Well, Sarah did, obviously, and Trig Onometry Palin is proof. But Sarah’s been spending a lot of face-time with Katie Couric lately. Her BGFFL may be pissed. Which of them is more heavily armed? Throw-down coming? Will Russia intervene? The Russkies can see it from their kitchens.

  • ABitOfACommunist

    Even if WSJ is correct, new voters are underrepresented in most polling data, I believe, since they’re not in all the same databases to which pollsters normally resort. Consequently, if Barry is doing well in normal polls (and he seems to be) then any presence of new voters will only help.

    I’m more worried about ostensive obama supporters voting mccain in their super-secret voting booth, because of their latent racisms.

  • ManchuCandidate

    If the teleprompter counts as a book then yes, Sarah has read a book.

  • ihasasad
  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116367]surfacenoise76[/re]: The best way to get the young people to vote is to run a ‘Vote for Obama and you will get laid’ party. Sure fire winner.

  • cheeto_jeebus

    ‘ in the near future when the power grid goes down and that lock on the flesh eating zombie biowar germ fails and like you know zombies are stumbling round, you’ll be wishin’ she was leading your little ragtag group of survivors….yeah, then you won’t be worried about what books she reads.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: Win. But I think they’re jumping the gun on the “no anal”.

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116371]ABitOfACommunist[/re]: You underestimate the ‘I’m uncomfortable voting for Obama, but that Palin broad is fucking nuts, therefore, Obama it is’ vote.

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: That is so fucking awesome. If it’s not ‘required’, will it be ‘requested’?

  • Canuckledragger

    Whadda ya want her to say? Any paper coming from New York is gonna have some Jooz on staff, which Westbrook Pegler would frown upon. Ditto Time & Newsweek. If she said Christian Science Monitor, it would repel REAL Christians ‘coz it’s got the word “Science” right in the title. Ya see, it’s one of them no-win situtations. Readin’ only alienates the base. ‘Coz they sure don’t. Got hooked on Jeebus, NOT fawn-ix.

    Remember how she watched the Tina Fey thingie, with the sound down? That’s kinda how Sarah Plain does her readin’… looks at the pictures, laughs at the words, and then hides the periodical so people won’t know what she REALLY did with her Bible Study time.

    Speaking of readin’…. Shit!!! The big debate’s coming up, and I’ve misplaced my Gibberish-to-English dictionary.

  • teebob2000

    KC: Gov Palin, what color are your shoes?

    SP: Katie, my shoes ARE a color, they are, and it’s a tone, a shade really, of which it is colored with. I do have shoes of many, many colors, and also as I’ve gone out into this great country I’ve met people who are many, many colors, I have, and we Americans accept people and shoes of many, many colors because — and taxes! We need to roll back the taxes on colored shoes that Senator Obama and the liberals have burdened us with, and freedom, too, Katie! Freedom it what makes us great, y’know? It’s why the terrorists want to do us harm, and our many, many colors of shoes. It’s what puts Americans head-and-shoulders above everyone else in the world. And that’s a good thing for the hard-working, brave, un-colored American people and colored American people that I’d be proud to represent if we’re so blessed.

    KC: GOTCHA!!!!

  • Servo

    They’re basing their facts on the 2004 election. Apples and oranges, my friend.

  • Serolf Divad

    Palin reads whatever happens to be on the coffee table as she’s waiting to get her hair nails done.

  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=116380]teebob2000[/re]: Wow, you have a window into her line of thinking. Now do yourself a vavor and close it before it infects the rest of Western Civilization.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    Doesn’t Palin have a degree in journalism? Money well spent.

    [re=116364]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: That’ll be stuck in my head all day now. Thanks a lot.

  • ihasasad

    [re=116380]teebob2000[/re]: SP: There…And Alaska likes colors just as much as the lower 48. Alaska…We’re not some backwoods non-color lovin people like the elitist would like to have you believe and so forth

  • dano

    Palin is attractive. She can read a teleprompter. She’s ignorant and a little crazy. How is she not an anchor on Fox News?

  • oy vey

    and hey, how about the fact that the McCain campaing apparently didn’t vet the moderator of the VP candidate that they also didnt vet? lots of failure to vet here…not very Presidential.

  • Delicious

    The right is going batshit over Gwen Ifill.

    I’ve selected some choice comments from Greta Van Susteren’s blog:

    *OMG!!!! Greta, plz do something
    *America is doomed!
    *What would we do without you and Hannity?
    *What upsets me is the Repubs didn’t have a clue
    *the American people ought to stage an outright riot over this one!
    *GRET–Could you hlp Sarah???—so very sad tis whole thing is–I am very hurt over it tat people would deliberately hurt others–PLEASE DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!!

  • slomojoe

    Re: college students, I hear that in the coming weeks the GOP plans to force a congressional vote on a nationwide repeal of all marijuana criminalization laws effective November 2, 2008. Whether the Dems vote for the repeal or against it, the student vote is lost.

  • teebob2000

    [re=116388]Delicious[/re]: I’m assuming this is because of the news breaking that Ifill has a book coming out on Inauguration Day with the name “Obama” in the title. Black beeyotch.

  • teebob2000

    The WSJ poll was based on a sampling of 614 lousy respondents???

    Jeebus, get back to me when you’ve got 3000. Oh, and don’t forget all those “young people” you’re missing who don’t have landlines.

  • SeminoleInDior

    I mean, it’s only 8 AM, and I am barely cognizant of anything. But as a gift to you, my fellow Wonkers, I shall impart this wisdom:

    I know a young fellow that runs Barry’s campaign in the great state of Florida. From what I’ve been told, transportation is being provided for the younguns on campus to get to a voting facility. A great deal of the volunteers are taking time out of their schedules (especially weekends) to take people to county courthouses to vote early. And where transportation was seen as a major issue, absentee ballots were ordered. Of course, all of these people will receive follow up calls to remind them over and over. I’d say a coordinated effort has been drawn up to the best of anyone’s ability, and followed through. In that sense alone, I am quite proud of my fellow FSU grad schoolers.

    On that note, damn I miss working in politics already.

  • Sussemilch

    [re=116388]Delicious[/re]: Gwen Ifill moderated the VP debate in 2004 also. The only difference between then and now is Ifill is still black.

  • doberhauser

    Palin loves gay people…as long as they don’t touch her.

  • magic titty

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: Well, as long as there’s no anal required…

  • V572625694

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: It’s all about job creation! See, it’s already working!

  • facehead

    [re=116379]Canuckledragger[/re]: I agree (and yours is the life-affirming answer). She probably didn’t want to mention any newspaper that has been critical of her, which is kinda natural, but in this case that means every newspaper on the planet.

    McCain/Useless Bag of Hair 08!

  • Canuckledragger

    “For Mugabe, “power sharing” means something more like “having all power, forever.” In related news, Zimbabwe’s government is on the verge of collapse.”

    In further related news: For George Bush, “power sharing” means something more like “having all power, forever.” In further, further related news, ‘Murica’s government is on the verge of collapse.”

    Why can’t Bobby Mugabe lurnz nuthin’ from W.?

  • slithytoves

    [re=116367]surfacenoise76[/re]: Fuck no. I’ve been registering college students for several weeks now and they are jazzed. We’ve got a lot of students involved in registration (and when I peek at their forms they all say “Democrat.”) God bless the little ‘uns.

  • slithytoves

    [re=116405]slithytoves[/re]: Plus – we’ve got a ton of volunteers (like me) taking Nov. 4 off to drive them to the polls. Take that Republican cheaters! Back of the line!

  • facehead

    [re=116404]Canuckledragger[/re]: Actually, for Mugabe “power sharing” means “anal required.”

  • Strappo

    I’m so glad that now there are tax breaks in the Society for Distressed Gentlefolk Rescue Plan. The best change is no change.

  • Serolf Divad


    For Mugabe “power sharing” means: OK, you can wear this medal and we’ll put your face next to mine on the $200,000,000,000 bill, now stop complaining.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    A “reformed” bailout-rescue? It’s still top-down instead of bottom up, still trickle down. You don’t lift a boat by showering water on it. You lift it by putting water under it. Doesn’t anyone understand water sports in Washington? Oh, wait. I’m pretty sure there are a few House Republicans who do.

  • Strappo

    [re=116396]doberhauser[/re]: Although, may I say as a gay man, she has great knockers I wouldn’t mind rolling my head on.

  • Strappo

    [re=116416]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: No but you do lift up the poor by pissing on them. Which i the finest expression of trickle-down.

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    [re=116378]Hunter Gathers[/re]: They always say that. Then the next thing you know the girl shows up and it’s a friggin’ Max Hardcore shoot.

  • Min

    Tina Fey is going to have a field day with this one.

  • TGY

    Palin reads all newspapers and magazines that she’s read. All of them completely. Well, perhaps just the cartoon page of a few.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=116454]TGY[/re]: I know for a fact she reads the Thrifty Nickel…

  • Beans

    [re=116359]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:” I’m also pretty sure I know who her favorite philosopher was, if she happens to get that question.”

    Or if she happens to know what a philosopher is.

    Here we are, facing into the financial abyss and the Republicans finger Eric Kantor, aka “Dixie Jew” to whine that Nancy’s mean talk sent them into a fit of pique that caused them to vote no on the bailout.

    An angry, confused old man who someday might be an angry dead president is backed by a bimbo who can’t name a newspaper she might have read in her life.

    And no one even notices the confirmed news that the Justice department is run by a criminal syndicate.

    WTF–Let’s just give up now and join the rush to stockpile Campbell’s soup.

  • ella

    [re=116384]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: She did indeed get a degree in Journalism. Eventually. Darn good thing. Who knows what she wouldn’t be reading without it?

  • Beans

    Evidently Tina Fey was too busy or too expensive, because Gov. Granholm is playing Palin in mock debates with Biden.

    Poor Joey. The bar is set so low for Bible Spice that the only way she’ll be pronounced a loser is if she shows up in a fetching white ensemble entirely stitched from the fur of baby seal pups. And even then, only if she’s on a video clubbing them, and even then, only if she field dressed them and even them only if she ate their warm livers.

    A key part of the Amy Poehler line on SNL was asking Tina/Sarah if she always becomes more adorable the less she knows.

  • huffybike

    Oh God, painful:

  • regisgoat

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: And this goes along with an Atlanta ad for the same purpose. They really need to get moving on this, they’ve got like a month to get it together. The smut industry used to move a little faster when I was a kid. I recall that there was a porny called “Ellen Degenerate” within like 30 days of Ellen uncloseting herself.

  • heathenish

    oh and i figured out how to solve the wall street’s problem, can’t believe it took me so long. hank and ben take ALL THEIR SHIT (electronics, and other stuff they bought while they HAD money) to the fucking pawn shop- just like everyone one else does(the poor of the nation), when they are strapped for funds!! so simple! why didn’t THEY think of this? they must have tons of stuff they could pawn. then what ever the diff. is between what they need and what they got at the pawn shop,then they go get on regular welfare, and use that money for their bail out!!

  • regisgoat

    [re=116386]dano[/re]: Well, she will be soon, no doubt about it.

  • heathenish

    it would be nice if we could just become part of canada (or mexico)(which ever is closer)

  • heathenish

    teebob2000: i agree re: the low number of people polled, anything under 1000 isn’t even legitimate , but landlines don’t mean a thing when the numbers the computer brings up are just random numbers, cells phones come up too.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=116389]slomojoe[/re]: The student vote is lost when on the day after Election Day, Nancy and Sluggo wake up on their dorm floor in the still bongwater-soaked carpet and try to remember what the hell they were supposed to do the day before.

  • Miller

    Now that I know Palin is the all-reading, all-knowing, super brain, I think I will vote for her.

  • doberhauser

    [re=116419]Strappo[/re]: I wonder if you would find weapons of mass destruction….or maybe a polar bear.

  • OzoneTom

    [re=116380]teebob2000[/re]: Actually, that was a bit too lucid.

    Mmm Lucid — now I’m thirsty for some absinthe.

  • OzoneTom

    [re=116373]ihasasad[/re]: One thing for sure — no condoms! Hot bare-back GILF action all the way.

  • IslandGirlFL

    [re=116394]SeminoleInDior[/re]: And it was his birthday this week, right?

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=116384]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: [re=116563]ella[/re]: Her journalism degree puzzles me. While we can debate whether journalists actually know anything or if they are degenerate hacks or whatnot, a basic requirement for getting through any kind of journalism school is to be able to form somewhat coherent sentences, and she can’t even do that… Is the University of Idaho one of those ‘buy your degree’ schools a la Phoenix University? Does it even exist? Has Bible Spice lied to us about her academic qualifications, just like Iran’s Interior Minister just did? The mind reels.

Previous article
Next article