Okay listen up, Joe Biden and Sarah Palin and everybody else: Andrew Sullivan is sick and tired of having to demand your medical records, and especially how you people don’t even answer him, as he is just some blogger and not currently the Boss of You. “I have repeatedly demanded Joe Biden’s medical records be released here, here, here, here and here. [Links to all his blog posts ever.] I have only asked for Palin’s medical records twice here and here. [Same.] This is not about partisanship. This is about transparency and accountability. I reiterate my demand for Sarah Palin’s to be released as well immediately.” Please do whatever he says before he starts doing this on Twitter or something. (UPDATE: Too late! Goddammit.) [Andrew Sullivan]
STERN DEMANDS
September 30, 2008
Andrew Sullivan Demands Everybody’s Medical Records
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{ 88 comments }
Why does Andrew Sullivan masturbate to medical records?
haha that pic makes me pee my pants!
He’s gay, He’s ANGRY, and he talks over everyone by saying stuff they said before he got on board.
Can we give him back to the republicans now?
[re=116108]sanantonerose[/re]: That’s what they did to us homosexuals during the Reagan years. We’re happy to be liberated now.
I want to demand his medical records. I’m sure there’s notation of some annoying well-educated bandwagon-jumping British gerbils in there somewhere..
Does that oxygen mask have a cock in it?
[re=116112]Dernyul[/re]: Whazzahuh?
What is his fucking problem? Who gives a shit about medical records. I demand your medical records Andrew! Here and here. OK? Happy now? Christ…
Fuck off thattaway.
[re=116114]HuskyMescan[/re]: Yeah, it’s the new ‘CCOK’..
X-ray of McCain’s chest shows marlinspike he swallowed as a midshipman on the USS Constitution.
[re=116112]Dernyul[/re]: Make you wear the mask? Pee in your pants? Both?
[re=116108]sanantonerose[/re]: You should send him your medical records. I can only assume that he’ll diagnose your problem and recommend some medication to help you.
I hope he’ll be able to help me with my rash…
What? Joe Biden is the father of Sarah Palin’s baby?
[re=116115]sanantonerose[/re]: Exactly.
[re=116129]NewSpence[/re]: Joe Biden was pregnant with a retard baby!?
He just wants to know where the got the genital warts from.
OMG, please, no more Andrew Sullivan. He’s just not interesting enough to warrant this kind of coverage!
It’s just Sullivan’s latest crusade. But remember he was for the war excoriating everyone against it, and then, oops, realized we were all right. And he was pro-Bush even though we were all saying he was useless, and then, bang, he was against Bush for the same reasons. And he loved WALNUTZ, and gave us all shit for hating him, and then got on board.
Snore.
[re=116108]sanantonerose[/re]: Imagine waking up to that. That’s his CPAP mask. He wears it to sleep and not die.
I can never decide if he’s persistent or obsessive… but as nattering nabobs go, he’s one of the few I can actually imagine being in porn.
[re=116116]magic titty[/re]:
Andy’s pretty sure that Trig was grown in a laboratory and not actually a human baby child born of Palin.
When did that stylish device for breathing one’s own farts come on the market?
Mexicanpharmacy.com didn’t ask for my medical records when I ordered a year’s supply of clenbuterol; why does he need them so bad??
I think it’s a colonoscopy that went horribly wrong. Well, I mean, if it happened to me I’d say it went wrong.
Maybe he’s hoping there’s a picture of Joey B.’s penis or balloon knot (my esteemed hubby’s term for anus) in there.
Excuse me but why did you waste time with this whilst ignoring the BIG STORY: Bloomberg’s proposal to run a THIRD TERM. Even with terms limits, easily bought and tucked into the basement.
[re=116146]Baseproduct[/re]: You’ve got it all wrong. That helps him toss his partner’s salad without suffocating.
[re=116128]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: I would rather Chris Hitchens diagnose my problem. I’m sure it would be a simple case of “not enough alcohol.”
Andy’s pissed at Sarah Plain ‘coz she declared open season on bears.
That is all.
[re=116139]Canuck13652[/re]: I like Sully. He changes his mind when faced with evidence proving him wrong. His current problem is that he really dived into that rumor about Trig being Bristol’s baby and got a lot of shit from some respectable quarters, so he’s trying to dig his way out with this medical records thing.
What he’s really good for now is that he’s turned into an anti-Palin clearinghouse.
And he’s at war with Howard Kurtz. It fun times at The Daily Dish.
Oh, leave Sully alone (and enough with the casual homophobia). He’s had some hilariously awesome posts on McCain and Palin. Wonkette and Sully are my go-to sites. I can’t handle them not being friends.
Be careful of what you wish for, Andrew. Now, go huff yourself into a long nap with a dollop of rubber cement in that thing on you face. Nighty-night.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he an unrepentant barebacker?
Whatsamatta, Andy? Your own medical records not troubling enough?
Most medical conditions sound worse than they are, especially for well-insured politicians. People may not want to vote for a diabetic or someone with a heart condition, but those are things that usually are perfectly handleable with modern medicine. Perhaps agree to reveal your medical records to the newly deceased Dr. Michael DeBakey and he’ll give a thumbs-up or down from beyond the grave, without releasing the fact that you have acute scrotum.
[re=116161]WhatCanBrownDoForYou?[/re]: My homophobia isn’t casual. Its very formalized and well thought out. Most gays scare me.
[re=116166]HomoPolitico[/re]: Jinx. I was about to comment on my homophobia’s poncey way of wearing a suit even to lunch. Irredeemable.
When Andrew gets a bee in her bonnet…Hell hath no fury.
[re=116155]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Oh, my bad. That makes total sense, his posts make me think he’s someone who doesn’t know the difference between jam and preserves.
[re=116158]Canuckledragger[/re]: Sarah Plain …and Dumb? haha
This is still my favorite photo of him.
[re=116159]Delicious[/re]: Kurtz is my meta-pundit of choice, so anyone he chooses to pick a blog-fight with is automatically loses my vote, er, or page view, whatever.
[re=116166]HomoPolitico[/re]:
I recommend flood therapy. You can thank me later.
Hey liberal media. ask Palin who she would pick as Vice President if ole crankypants went to that Hanoi Hilton in the sky.
[re=116166]HomoPolitico[/re]: Just as your horns scare teh geyz. Whereas your horniness does not. They’re very understanding that way. Teh Greyz, however, are not.
Horniness is my muzuzah.
[re=116179]rocktonsammy[/re]: Probably her “first dude.”
[re=116179]rocktonsammy[/re]: NEWT!
[re=116181]Canuckledragger[/re]: There were so many Canadian Zeds in that sentence, I’m not sure it wasn’t spy code.
Is there some kind of invasion on?
I’m going to brace myself in my Andrew Sullivan Autofelatioâ„¢ Brand Mask Product.
[re=116166]HomoPolitico[/re]: Well, like, fucking BOO.
Strappo il Gay
Sarah’s medical records? No problem. Witch doctor?
Thanks Amrrrrica.
[re=116182]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’ll bet the Toddster wasn’t her “first dude”.
She just looks like shes nasty.
[re=116185]Dernyul[/re]: Ha! You said “Zed.” Our nefarious plan is working. Fools…..
She also hasn’t released her tax returns, FWIW, whereas Biden has.
In fairness, he does practice what he preaches. He blogs about his HIV status, his sleep apnea and even reports on his doctors appointments, sometimes with more detail than is appropriate. http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2006/03/my_right_foot.html
Maybe he wants Cindy McCain’s records, but couldn’t remember which fag hag was hanging around WALNUTS these days. Besides, I thought Andrew Sullivan retired after that book about marriage didn’t get him a “husband” way back when. He’s still making news?
[re=116166]HomoPolitico[/re]: Gays scare you? Do you, by any chance, pray for them to become straight, so they will stop scaring you? Do you have any tattoos? In the region of your face where such prayers might be vocalized?
Mocking apnea-Americans just shows what a bunch of racists you all are. What if it was you, groaning like a tranquilized elephant every night? We apneacs demand to be recognized as disabled and paid off by social security right now. Or we’ll snore outside your windows.
Seriously, what a chumpion he is.
Hey, eds, let’s get a post with Palin mock-debating by tranquil waters.
Pls?
[re=116188]bitchincamaro[/re]: Well played, sir.
every time i read the dish i wanna blow my fucking head off. but i must say an AWESOME cartoon of him blogging away w/his dogs….. simply amaZING!
[re=116176]Dave J.[/re]: Note to self: Do not scratch ass when closing credits roll after live TV appearance, no matter how itchy ass is.
Wait now, wasn’t Sullivan found not so long ago to have been trolling for sex online without revealing his HIV status?
[re=116201]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: That doesn’t matter. I blog about being diabetic, but that doesn’t mean that anyone else in the world should have access to my medical records, save my doctor and whoever my next of kin is whenever they decide to pull the plug. I feel the same way about the candidates – if a doctor pronounces them in good enough health to run, then fuck it. What happened to them 22 years ago is none of our business.
[re=116223]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Two words: Paul Tsongas
No matter how hard I try, I can never be mad at that photo of AS.
Oh, the ridicule. First the Chinese, now teh Sully. So amusing…
[re=116224]ForeignSickSpecialist[/re]: Yes! Tttttsssssongas.
Punt the Trig story — I’ve been busily spreading the rumor that Todd is the father of Bristol’s baby. Explains Sarah’s weird hatred of rape victims.
ANOTHER PAINFUL EXCERPT FROM ANOTHER PAINFUL INTERVIEW WITH KATIE COURIC (WHO IS IN PAIN) AND SARAH PALIN (SOURCE OF PAIN).
From Huffpo (WARNING: POSSIBLY THE MOST PAINFUL PALIN EXCERPT YET):
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/30/palin-a-journalism-major_n_130707.html
(FORGET THE VIDEO, JUST READ THE TRANSCRIPT (LESS PAINFUL))
I hate myself for being serious about this, so ignore if you’re looking for a giggle.
I’m honestly trying to figure out what is going on in Palin’s head. Essentially, from the transcript, even after repeated questioning, Palin can’t give the name of a single newspaper that she reads (and she claims to read “all” of them, whatever the fuck that means). Worse, she was a journalism major (and, oh yeah, she’s a governor).
Uncharitable interpretation: she actually can’t think of a single name of a single newspaper.
(Now, somewhere in her head, there must actually be some memory of the name of some newspaper. I have to believe this, otherwise I will start screaming). She must be mental blocked. That is bad, very. O dear…
Charitable Interpretation: She can think of a bunch of papers she reads, but doesn’t want to mention them. So, maybe she reads the NY Times, but doesn’t want to say it, because she’s afraid she will be thought of as a librul. But then she’s way too afraid of what other people think to be a politician, no? O dear…
Sorry all. This bothers me deeply, and has made me quite unfunny.
What would we really gain by medical records?
We already know that McCain has a chip in him from his North Vietnamese controllers (any wonder that during the debate he referred to Kim Jong Il as “Dear Leader”), he is bipolar and paranoid, and that he will drop dead within the next year.
We also already know that Obama has a tail, a clear sign that he is both a Muslim and the Anti-Christ, and that he is hung like a horse.
What would be gained by knowing that Joe Biden actually died twenty years ago from his brain aneurysm, and has been replaced by a coke head space alien, or that Sarah Palin has actually never given birth, but that all of her children are really Bristols?
[re=116114]HuskyMescan[/re]: That is Andy’s special self-fellatimg mask.
[re=116161]WhatCanBrownDoForYou?[/re]: If you can’t be casually homophobic about Andy, who can you be casually homophobic about?
[re=116212]Delicious[/re]: Yes, more on the Sarah @ Debate camp!
I think that the McCain people were going for a biblical feeling with that photo they released, you remember this classic verse from your summer bible camp:
She debateth me by still waters….
her Todd and the Trig they comfort me.
The internet died today.
It isn’t as if anything has changed for fuck sake, but the internet has died. The news was there, but the readers weren’t. The readers have decided today is a slow news day. Page views were down for the blogs and the Newspaper’s are already watering down yesterday’s threat with today’s apathy.
The comments on most sites are not unique. You have your average moron on ______________(insert site here) rambling on about matters that are of no consequence to the immediate impact, but ultimately are capable of paralysis on a macro level, and then you have the funny shit which in itself, is forgotten for today. There’s a debate on Thursday and it’s as if all of us have forgotten about it.
Look at Wonkette! The fucking page views were out of the park- insane prior to the Walnuts/Barry WAR of September 26, 2008, but after the fodder leaves and goes back to the basic remedies (therapy, xanax and celexa), any spark of humanity within this nation of hack retards is put out by our own dismissal of yesterday. While this bailout bullshit… I’m sorry, RESCUE mission goes forward with lard-asses everywhere screaming at the top of their lungs within their sorry minds but forgetting about it just a few hours after the fact, we can count on our friends in the main stream to keep us safe. Don’t worry, children! The stock exchange is up 400 points today! We mustn’t worry anymore! We can simply give 2,500 dollars per every human being, tax payer not, out of 300 million of us retards, so dump money on another generation of circumcised heathens.
So let’s keep doin’ it. I found that we commenter types on Wonkette we’re particularly disappointing. The well informed types should be laughing at this! But the site is dead. The site is like it was in early August right now, even though decisions are about to be made that fuck every single one of us. It worked for Bush, it worked for Bush again, and guess what my fellow libtards, if we don’t act mad in stupid and illogical ways in order to make a point to those immediately around us and those on the interwebz, grandnuts will be your overlord.
SORRY ABOUT THAT but I just want daddy to love me.
[re=116223]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: But Palin herself said that when you run for office, your life is an open book. If she refuses to submit to a public gynecological exam, she is a hypocrite. If Biden is elected Vice President, he will sit as President of the Senate. We need to know if he has a history of hemorrhoids. He may have to sit there for hours.
[re=116255]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: And Palin, because she’s at a higher bench, would start shooting at Senators.
How disappointing to see that Sullivan’s words and photo suddenly gave so many of you on Wonkette an opportunity to unleash the raging homophobic cliches and attacks that apparently lurk just beneath your allegedly liberal skin. Drudge would be proud. I thought I had found a nice oasis in the Conservative Desert, but apparently I was wrong. Pity. By the way, before some of you continue to attack Sarah Palin for being ignorant, it might behoove you to take a good long look in the mirror.
[re=116249]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “What would we really gain by medical records?”
Seriously, we’ve already seen her in a bathing suit, how much better could her x-rays be?
[re=116253]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
You want a hug? I mean, from someone else, not me?
For what it’s worth, I hear yaz.
Look, how many times does Andrew Sullivan have to say this: if you don’t get your medical records to him, along with a signed permission slip from your parents, you cannot go on the field trip to the White House.
Must … not … sleep … must … warn … others…
[re=116152]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: In England they call it the “jap eye”, “chocolate starfish”, or “shriveled walnut”. Balloon knot, though, is perhaps still the most apt.
[re=116253]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: In years to come, when we say “the events of 9/30″, several of us will share a wistful slow shaking of heads, perhaps with brimming eyes threatening to betray our emotions.
[re=116304]Weeping Jesus[/re]: “Walnuts Family fuck fest?”
Oh Jesus what are you Euro-types doing to this country?
Andrew Sullivan has got to stop appearing on Bill Mahr. He’s rude, obnoxious and shouts everyone down. He’s a Republican! They think the louder you yell, you become more believable.
[re=116158]Canuckledragger[/re]:
Aw, no more fuzzy Papa Bears for Sully? I think I’d become a bit tight in the bum as well.
[re=116161]WhatCanBrownDoForYou?[/re]:
I read both daily true.
But that medical record obsession is like open season for ridicule.
Bring it on.
Sullivan also should stop being such a lesbian about the new
totally badass version of the Pope, which i like especially for his supreme badassness.
[re=116276]slithy_tove[/re]: Oooh, snap! Now feel free to go away and outgrabe yourself.
Andrew Sullivan’s another Catholic would-be moral scold whose actions don’t live up to his supposed high standards. He denigrated queers who fuck for being of low moral character while himself trolling online for bareback (condomless) sex, and when people called him on it, pointing out that he was HIV-positive, he handwaved away the issue. (HIV mutates so quickly and often that even someone who’s got it can be “superinfected” with another strain.) He’s got about as much moral standing as William “$8 million video poker loser” Bennett. In a just world he would be superglued face to face with Camille Paglia.
Aside from being morally bankrupt on queer issues, he attacked people who were against the Iraq war, suggesting they were part of a “fifth column” of subversives. And like Richard Cohen, Matthew Yglesias et al, now that he’s come around to agreeing with them he doesn’t have the stones to admit that they were right in the first place. He’s simply a ignorant muddled narcissistic bandwagon-jumper whose authoritarian instincts steer him wrong every time. And I don’t care how good he is at giving head.
[re=116641]qaf[/re]: You were so busy psychopbabbling that you completely missed my point. So snap this, bitch! You are a bore. And a bigot. Deal with it.
[re=117021]slithy_tove[/re]: I didn’t miss your point, I just recognized it for the illiberal wanking it was. The rest of my comment was directed more generally to ridiculing the idea that Andrew Sullivan, The Incredibly Insular Tory Who Started Shooting Up Adrenaline and Became a Mixed-Up Blogger, has any better qualifications for a trusted position in public life than Jeff Guckert-Gannon. So get over it, sweetums.
[re=117226]qaf[/re]: No–sweetums—you did NOT get my point. My point is that if it’s acceptable for people here and elsewhere to take the lowest possible road of criticizing Sullivan’s moronic political and social opinions by calling him an AIDS-carrying cocksucking faggot, then you also make it acceptable for people who dislike Obama’s policies to express it simply by calling him an uppity nigger. And that is truly my last word on the subject. It’s all yours now–sweetums. Enjoy!
[re=117518]slithy_tove[/re]: I am shocked, shocked at your foul mouth. Perhaps you should move on and find another oasis where everybody thinks like you do, ‘cuz it looks like Wonkette has failed to meet your requirements. Not that we knew what they were.
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