rumors on the internets

Now We Can Use Basketball Metaphors To Talk About Palin

  • What McCain did with Biden’s comments about coal is not “gotcha journalism” because it did not occur inside a pizza place that is really a cheesesteak shop that does not sell pizza. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Tom Brokaw cited some fake pro-McCain poll results on dead Tim Russert’s teevee show. [Crooks and Liars]
  • Barack Obama would rather masturbate in a plush desk chair in Iowa than bother to think about the troops for like two seconds. [Ben Smith]
  • Back when Sarah Heath played in the Alaskan WNBA, she was a scrappy, foul-mouthed tyrant who could manage a successful free-throw every now and then. [Top of the Ticket]
  • Shocking New Statistics reveal John McCain might someday die. [RedState]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner
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18 comments

  1. Serolf Divad

    Where is the media on Obama’s potential health risks?

    47 year old Obama dies = President Biden

    73 year old McCain dies = we all die.

    That’s the answer to your question, oh, Markie.

  2. Saturnin

    One time my kitty kept crapping on the floor so I got her a new, bigger litter box. After that she stopped. She still doesn’t much about foreign policy though.

  3. azw88

    So, sarah was not happy being assigned a supporting role…. that explains all of the interview fuckups… she is trying get to the top of the ticket by showing how smart she is…..

  4. larz

    “Gotcha journalism”, brought to you by the “Gimmick” campaign.

    So if they ask questions in a fast food restaurant that serves melted cheese products, they don’t count if they’re confusing? Is cheese Sarah Palin’s kryptonite? Better keep her out of Wisconsin.

  5. Sussemilch

    Although Sarah was widely respected for her ball handling skills, she often make quick passes at her teammates.

  6. azw88

    [re=115941]Sussemilch[/re]: and as we all know, the agressive female jocks in HS and college were all dykes…..

    Maybe her church just prayed all of that lesbo stuff right out of her….. Too bad, too, ’cause I would have liked to see her and couric in s 69 lesbo love embrase.!

  7. Sussemilch

    [re=115961]azw88[/re]: They called her “paint.” She was always down low, ready to score, and loved cherrypickin’.

  8. Texan Bulldoggette

    Someone needs to tell Tommy boy that Walnuts is NOT from the Greatest Generation. Yeah, he’s old enough to qualify but he didn’t fight in WWII. I sense Tom has some unfulfilled Daddy issues & the black dude & ain’t gonna get him over them.

  9. The Hispanic Buddy Holly

    She didn’t understand that basketball is played from the inside-out? A strong post game is a guard’s best friend! I say that as a point guard myself. Ugh. I hate this lady so very, very much.

  10. lawrenceofthedesert

    Brokaw’s generation of newscasters, without any semblance of ethics or street sense, took the evening news from one of the strongest shows on television to a floundering antiquity. He perhaps would blame everything from technology to declining literacy, but the truth is that without the likes of Huntley and Brinkley and Edward R. Murrow, most t.v. news turned into happy talk trash run by cheesy network types instead of journalists. As long as Tommy and his crew got their fat checks, they weren’t going to rock the sinking boat. Now most t.v. journalism consists of “reporters” or “experts” arguing about what events “mean,” which has never been anything that journalism is good at. Blame Brokaw; he didn’t even try to fight it.

  11. DangerousLiberal

    The LAT quotes the coach as saying that she was “inquisitive” and that once the strategy was explained she “understood.”

    So we’re to believe that SP is inquisitive? And that she can understand anything more complicated than the instructions for turning a freezer into a smoker? Puh-lease.

  12. anonymousryan

    Thanks. All I can think about now is Barack Obama’s sweaty, crinkled face as he furiously masturbates in the dead of the night on the back of a campaign bus. Now all I’ll imagine is his h-OH-pe face.

Comments are closed.