Wonkette
We all hoped he would run for vice president, with Ron Paul, or maybe run against Al Franken or something, but famous independent wrestler Jesse Ventura will instead host a teevee show about conspiracy theories. Today is just one big disappointment. [Seattle Times]
Holy Fuck…What am I looking at??????
The man just hates credibility. Credibility is a conspiracy to get Jesse to wear a tie and act like he has some fucking sense.
Woo hoo! Jesse Ventura breaking into the Skull and Bones lair!
ihasasad: Ming the Merciless announcing his plans to rain hot hail down on the earth…
This may be unrelated, but do you ever walk into the pisser at work and find out Stall #2 had eggs for dinner last night? Oh, and Ventura’s a tard.
They didn’t mention he was a SEAL. Which is actually pretty impressive.
Looks like the news day is speeding up.
Forget Ventura. What America needs right now is Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.
ihasasad: The future.
It’s like Mythbusters for Paultards. This should go well (AKA FAIL MISERABLY).
Jesse Ventura has announced that he’s a Klingon
The last time I saw the bitch he didn’t look like a Hun
ihasasad: A Jackass.
he will move outta the country? which country? soundz like he’s–hey! stop th’presses! zoom in… wha’s that aroun his lips? naw, not th’furry stuff, i know what that is… that other stuff… spice?
Is it too late for McCain to get that look?
Why does this not surprise me that he’s introducing this on the insipid Donnie Deutsch show?
I thought it would be facial hair consultant since SciFi canceled Flash Gordon and no chance at playing Ming the Merciless’ insane kill crazy cousin.
mookworthjwilson: LOL win. Now if we could just get Klytus to use the Bore Worms on Princess Palin….
Wow, yesterday I thought today would be spent escaping from the mindless cannibal horde; this must be their leader.
…shouldn’t this guy already have his own “E True Hollywood Story”?
I’m still wishing that ‘Predator’ had been a documentary.
Excuse me stewardess, I speak Klingon.
Okay, if y’all were tortured for 5.5 years, which picture would your captors have to keep at the top of Wonkette FOREVER in order to break you: Palin’s lips (the ones on her face) or Jesse?
…and as John McCain’s next stunt: He will now fight Jesse Ventura in a no holds bar steel cage ladder match.
Oooo! At the top of HufPost there’s a map and the red part kind of looks like a bat with a fucked up wing. Very cool
ihasasad: Oh, the lips, definitely. This one is great and brings joy to the world. The stock market is up today in expectation of this picture.
Damnit, I was hoping for the day where Jesse would become President, and his entire cabinet would be composed of fellow wrestlers.
Secretary of Justice BIG BOSS MAN! Secretary of Defense SARGEANT SLAUGHTER! Secretary of the Treasury MILLION DOLLAR MAN TED DIBIASE! Secretary of Foreign Affairs THE IRON SHEIK!
What if you threw some lipstick on a Klingon?
AngryBlakGuy: Ha. More like a no-budget remake of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Two men enter, one man leaves.
I totally forgot he was the host for XFL…I hope he doesn’t bring the Kiss of Fail to his UF0-n-Trilateral Commission show!
shortsshortsshorts: You’d have John Travolta’s character in Battlefield Earth.
So help me, I think that’s the look one of my roommates is going for.
He’s beginning to look like Dr. Phil with a beard.
mattbolt: Andre the Giant would make a better VP than Palin, and he’s dead!
mattbolt: Don’t forget head of the NSA: JIMMY SUPERFLY SNUKA!
mattbolt: Chris Benoit for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Oops.
mattbolt: The Iron Sheik is fricking INSANE. Check out his YouTube videos. He has a pretty intense anal rape fixation.
WTF Editors? Could you have any more repulsive pictures to post in one day? Jesus, I may be off food and/or sex for weeks because of this nonsense.
ihasasad: The lips, by far.
Valerie: And significantly less closet gay.
He’s looking pretty goddamned Zen there, has he been living on mt fuji for the last few years, like the “old ninja master” character in every kung-fu movie ever made. He is actually the libertarians bailout proposal, just kick everyones ass in sight until it’s over.
Is anyone else a little amused by Dar Williams ads on this site? I don’t know if any of you are hairy-legged lesbians that play her records on your radio show at Smith College, but I’ve long been a fan, and there is something about Dar Williams and her music that doesn’t mesh well with the incredibly snark that we spout here day in and day out.
Not that advertising dollars aren’t good, so I will buy her album through here for sure.
mattbolt:
Secretary of Ultimate Affairs: The Ultimate Warrior
Secretary of Sleeper Holds and Reptiles: Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Secretary of Flying Elbows: Randy “Macho Man” Savage
Reality tv seems like the best place for Jesse. Maybe after the election Palin could join the show. Or they could have an ex-governors version of the surreal life. Although I’m having trouble thinking of governors as weird as they are.
Anonymous Office Zombie: Special Envoy to Iran: The Iron Sheik.
Oh No He DI-INT!
“You paid more in hush money for your little phone sex than I’ve ever earned.”
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/09/30/mark-levin-attacks-bill-oreilly-you-paid-more-in-hush-money-for-your-little-phone-sex-than-ive-ever-earned/
ihasasad: Hahaha! They’re turning on each other like a pack of rabid dogs. This is the best day EVER!
He needs to run for president with Rowdy Roddy Piper as his running mate. Good an evil together, just like a true bipartisan solution.
ihasasad: Oh snizzap. It’s getting fussy in Planet Wingnut. Papa bear gonna have to choke a bitch?
If you look at that mustache (whatever), it looks like a little baby alien…two large eyes on either side of the giant lips and thin little arms and legs. Scary
Gopherit v2.0: He will humble Ahmedenijad (sp?)
risqueclay: Just like when the Predator took off his mask.
WagTehGod: His first choice for running mate was Kevin Nash, but he tore his quad climbing on board the Crazy Talk Express.
By that pic, I’m expecting him to run for Satan.
Since when does Jesse Ventura play a Doctor Who villain circa 1977?
It’s not entertainment unless he body slams somebody.
I’m guessing one of his first assignments for the truTV series will be to find Xanadu, the long lost pleasure palace of Kublai Khan. At least he’s dressed for the part, so he’s got that going for him.
Conspiracy theory show, hunh? Well, I just hope it’s less like “Sightings” and more along the lines of trying to show that George W. Bush is a Chinese plant. In any case, Jesse looks like he’s ready to put the “Manchu” back in “Manchurian Candidate.”
It’s going to be on TruTV. They used to be CourtTV, but now it’s just kind of ‘crazy shit TV’.
I wonder if he’ll have a guest spot on “Forensic Files” as the bouncer at the crazy biker bar whose DNA has to be separated from that of the real killer.
Don’t ask how they got mixed. Just… don’t. (www.forensicfiles.com)
This is definitely going on my Tivo, if I can figure out where the hell the truTV channel is.
Jesse for Secretary of State and Whoop-Ass. No need to send in troops any more, just send in Jesse to your Ahmeenajad/ Kim/ Hussein/ Annoying-Surrender-Monkey/ Putin in the face with a folding chair. That wil settle your issue, be it UN non-compliance, supporting terrorism or even speaking French.
Who are all these people that think there are elements of the US government who connive and seek to carry out seekrit activities benefiting the few at the expense of the many. I never!
slappypaddy: Any idea the circumstances under which he will leave the country? Can I contribute? Even better, can I choose what country? (I have several on a shortlist, and needless to say, they don’t take kindly to strangers ’round there)
shortsshortsshorts: You’d have one angry Klingon.
mattbolt: Can he SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what Barack is cookin?