• May 26, 2012

Whoa Hey John McCain Half-Misspeaks Whoa Hey

by Jim Newell  2:09 pm September 30, 2008

Libtards are giggling like rich schoolgirls on acid over this one. Along the lines of, JOHN MCCAIN DOES NOT KNOW THAT VENEZUELA ISN’T IN THE MIDDLE EAST! Can you even believe it oh my god blah blah blah. Whatever. They can enjoy getting ulcers over John McCain’s poor choice of conjunctions or adjectives such as “other.” [Ben Smith]

{ 57 comments }

grendel September 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm

I understand this day and age of “gotcha” journalism. Is that a pizza place? In a conversation with someone who you didn’t hear…

Dave J. September 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Before the next debate, Hopey should give him a globe.

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm

FALL BACK on 9/11 Walnuts! Quickly! 9/11!!!

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 2:13 pm

[re=115574]grendel[/re]: I wish they had a sound byte of rich schoolgirls on acid because I think I may have done a pretty good impression after reading your post

Serolf Divad September 30, 2008 at 2:14 pm

I’m more creeped out by the way his words precede the movements of his lips by about half a second. The book of Revelations predicts just that behavior of the Antichrist.

WWJGD September 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Am I the only one tired of being pissed off and calling people idiots during this election? I just can’t get that fake rage hardon anymore. I need O’Reilly’s advice…he seems to constantly get it up even at his age.

grendel September 30, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=115579]ihasasad[/re]: I wish I had a roomful of rich schoolgirls on acid, ’cause that sounds like a naughty fun sexy time

lumpenprole September 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Most of us have a hard time keeping track of the post-Cold War map, whereas Walnuts has to worry about accounting for most all the changes that have occurred since Pangaea broke up. Iz hard.

grendel September 30, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=115585]WWJGD[/re]: It’s a combination of Viagra and ‘Roids

SuperRounder September 30, 2008 at 2:17 pm

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, JIM!!!!!!!!!

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 30, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Bless your heart, John, but senility’s a bitch, ain’t it?

InsidiousTuna September 30, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=115586]grendel[/re]: Delta delta delta!

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2008 at 2:20 pm

…ehhhh, brown people are brown people! Right?!

mookworthjwilson September 30, 2008 at 2:21 pm

“See, when I was a POW, just to fuck with our heads, Charlie gave us fake maps, and one of them had Venezuela bordered by Saudi Arabia…same map had Iraq sharing a border with Pakistan…and I had to endure this for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!”

Delicious September 30, 2008 at 2:21 pm

One of the commenters at Politico suggested that this is what happens when you spend too much time with Sarah Palin.

It’s like HAL near the end of “2001″

Uncle Al September 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm

The Iraq, such as.

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm

[re=115595]InsidiousTuna[/re]: can i help ya help ya help ya? I don’t remember their laugh though

Freshly Minted Hobo Jack Mehoff September 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm

I realise that all old peolpe have kinda creepy hands but Jammakains hands are creepy enough to chase the tripping schoolgirls out of my head. Why does John McCain hate sexual fantasies about young american drug abusers?

slappypaddy September 30, 2008 at 2:24 pm

context, context… wher is he and them other peeps? airplane hanger? construction site? down at th’docks o’the bay, watchin the tide roll away?

mattbolt September 30, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Pop quiz on FOREIGN OIL FROM EVIL FOREIGN ENEMIES: Where are the top 3 countries the US gets most of its oil from? Your average Joe’s gonna say Saudi Arabia, Iran, Venezuela, I-dunno-but-somewhere-brown-and-evil, etc. I don’t blame that, that’s sure what politicians want you to think.

http://www.heritage.org/Research/EnergyandEnvironment/images/EC_2_lg.gif

TOP 3
US Domestic production: 34%
Canada: 12%
Mexico: 9%

AHHH THOSE EVIL MUSLIM ENEMY REGIMES OF CANADA AND MEXICO

The Jackson Five September 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Spain = Latin America
Venezuela = Middle East
McGrampy = Senility

friendlynerd September 30, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Such as the Iraq.

gjdodger September 30, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Of course, Venezuela isn’t in the Middle East. It’s in Latin America, right next to Spain.

Baconcat September 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm

I was more disturbed by his whistling ‘S’s. When he said ‘certain sets of circumstances’ at the end I thought all the workers were going to leave thinking the shift-change whistle had just blown.

WWJGD September 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=115590]grendel[/re]: Sounds deadly. I just want to be able to get mad at miniscule examples of stupidity, not smother and strangle my wife and kid while wearing a baby blue tux.

Dave J. September 30, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Gawd, McCain has aged about 10 years in the past 6 months, can you imagine what dude is going to look like in FOUR YEARS?

Tawmn September 30, 2008 at 2:36 pm

I think that Hugo Chavez makes a fine men’s suit!

Texan Bulldoggette September 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm

[re=115598]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yep, Muslims, Mexicans, Spaniards. They’re all swarthy & MUST go in Walnuts world.

It’s a good thing the Asians have funny eyes so he can tell them apart from the coloreds–that’s the only thing saving them from total annihilation by Walnuts.

obfuscator September 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=115600]mookworthjwilson[/re]: He was a whiz kid at geography back in jr. high. Of course, this was back when Pangea was the only continent.

Gnaeus September 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Where the hell is he? Looks like he is speaking from the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=115647]Dave J.[/re]: Can you see through a casket?

Chicken Smack September 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Ahh, didn’t sound like he flubbed that one. I’ll be the buzzkill and say that McCain is absolutely welcome to isolate Chavez in a discussion, and refer to “other M-E countries”, and it still won’t outline Obama’s plan to fix the clusterfuck.

One would think that McCain himself should start campaigning for Obama right now.

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=115660]obfuscator[/re]: If I had a trillion dollars, I’d give ‘em to you for that one!

slithytoves September 30, 2008 at 2:45 pm

[re=115666]Chicken Smack[/re]: Agreed – that was a reach for a snark.

Texan Bulldoggette September 30, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=115666]Chicken Smack[/re]: If you were President Obama & wanted to be all ‘Team of Rivals’-ish, where exactly would you put Walnuts? I think it’s pretty obvious the old coot is senile; he isn’t cabinet-level material by any means. Maybe he can be in charge of monitoring the bathroom keys or counting the paper clips.

Sussemilch September 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=115647]Dave J.[/re]: I haven’t seen someone age that fast since the third Indiana Jones movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd996sqXnDw

dano September 30, 2008 at 2:48 pm

The internet is a series of youtubes.

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm

He actually says “…dependent on people like Hugo Chavez or other parts of the Middle East.” Like that other troubled hotspot, Carmen Sandiego?

PentagonBookkeeper September 30, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=115639]Baconcat[/re]: His hissing ‘S’s are grossly equal to his slurping in of the air it takes to make his mouth move independently of reality. With all that money Cindy showers on everyone she loves (uh oh…), couldn’t she take him to the best dentist to the stars and get those whistling greyish yellow teeth upgraded?

Maybe the fact that he was born in or on or under or near the Panama Canal has warped his world view, or as Sarah would call it, “The Bush Doctrine”.

Botswana Meat Commission FC September 30, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Walnuts was referring to rotund Dodgers Pitching Sensation Fernando Venezuela.

natoslug September 30, 2008 at 2:55 pm

Pop-pop’s tired. After his nap, I’m certain he’ll be able to identify every country and its location accurately. Well, maybe not the ones located in that newfangled Laurasia, but at least all in Gondwanaland.

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2008 at 3:00 pm

[re=115655]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: …I think in WALNUTS! case it may be better not to look like the people who anally raped and beat him for 5 AND A HALF YEARS ALAN!. If you know what I mean.

Servo September 30, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Mad Mav v5.5 defaults to gibberish mode when he has a diaper full of doody.

iolanthe September 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=115647]Dave J.[/re]: In four years, he’ll look like some of the worst things on somethingawful. Unless he’s just cremaining it in a shoebox-sized hole in some columbarium.

Seriously, I don’t think he’ll live out the year. And even at that, I fear his body will slightly outlast his mind. He reminds me of my Dad, in his last month of relative sanity before the Alzheimer’s became noticeable enough to put the poor guy in The Home.

Kos September 30, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Hey, where’s his flag pin? Bastard.

OhYeahAlright September 30, 2008 at 4:02 pm

[re=115622]The Jackson Five[/re]: [re=115626]gjdodger[/re]: Spain’s not in Latin America… Idiots…
Its called LATIN america for a reason. Cause of the people that live there, duh. Rome’s in Latin America, why else would it be called LATIN?

junkscience September 30, 2008 at 4:11 pm

I want some acid.

azw88 September 30, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Destablised under certain cercumstances…. hmmmm you mean like invading a country without cause?

Naw, that woud NEVER happen…… oh, wait… never mind

gurukalehuru September 30, 2008 at 4:35 pm

I suggest that all four candidates be asked the same question as Miss Teen South Carolina was asked. It’s a legitimate question. And it’d be a hoot.

Johnny Zhivago September 30, 2008 at 4:40 pm

Can’t someone find some nice, shiny thing to give McCain so he forgets all about being president he can stop wasting everyone’s time?

Johnny Zhivago September 30, 2008 at 4:41 pm

[re=115876]azw88[/re]: Question for mcCain: Locate the nearest Pizza place using google.

azw88 September 30, 2008 at 4:42 pm

[re=115647]Dave J.[/re]: They are gonna do to Johnny-Mac what the russkies did to Lenin back in the day. THey will coat him in wax and prop him up in the oval office. A secret junta will make all of the decisions. Don’t laugh, it worked with Reagan!

bmannes September 30, 2008 at 5:25 pm

*sigh* I have so much to do! I have to go to Burger King and other…uh…department stores.

Atoz September 30, 2008 at 6:29 pm

After reading the comments I was prepared for whistling S’s. But not two-fingers-in-the-mouth style “hey you kids break it up there and get off my lawn” whistles on the S’s. Yow. Does he need to have his dentures refitted?

Anita Cocktail September 30, 2008 at 7:11 pm

[re=115585]WWJGD[/re]: it’s the loofah.

azw88 September 30, 2008 at 11:59 pm

Now, let’s cut Johnny-mac some slack on the whole Spain=enemy stuff. Remember, Spain was once overrun by Muslims! McCain was there!!

OzoneTom October 1, 2008 at 5:01 pm

[re=115590]grendel[/re]: Really? Does Viagra make hemorrhoids stiff too?

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