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EDITORIAL DISCUSSIONS

Does John McCain Have A Special Rosh Hashanah Stunt Up His Sleeve?

“Slow news day.”


1:36 PM on Tue September 30 2008
By Jim Newell
4266 Views

  1. lilblackcorvette says at 1:40 pm, September 30th, 2008

    good time for classic biden outtakes

  2. NoWireHangers says at 1:40 pm, September 30th, 2008

    “Slow news day.”

    Indeed.

  3. Texan Bulldoggette says at 1:41 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Is this the day where Joe Lieberman comes in with his Super Jew cape/costume & rescues Walnuts’s campaign by placing himself on the ticket & dumping Bible Spice in the Gaza Strip?

  4. eastcoastliberal says at 1:41 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Jesus H. Christmas..I can’t believe I read that whole thing.

  5. John McCain is suspending his campaign to join the Space Marines and fight alongside Ripley against Obama and his Alien hive…

  6. Gopherit v2.0 says at 1:41 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Haven’t heard anything about space monsters, but:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/220826.php

    The only thing I’m wondering is how this will get Palin out of the debate.

  7. Delicious says at 1:43 pm, September 30th, 2008

    You guys are lazy.

    Good thing you’re funny, too.

  8. Well there’s always that crazy Hong Kong politician Long Hair, who’s banned from the Mainland because he’s Marxist.

    Or something about Ireland and King Bono?

    I could never work at Wonkette.

  9. Tommy Says Soooo says at 1:44 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Does Gina Gershon qualify as a space fuckbuddy? I’d grow sidelocks if she tugged ‘em, know what I’m sayin’, can I get a mitzvah?

    Woo boy, towel me off.

  10. Tommy Says Soooo: Gina Gershon is teh HAWT

  11. Obama doesn’t need no moon to drink white baby blood. That’s not Gatorade he swigs after each basketball game. WBB got electrolytes.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  12. Gopherit v2.0: Why, is Palin going to Congress too? She can’t even spell “Economy”, what good would she be?

  13. Sussemilch says at 1:47 pm, September 30th, 2008

    He’s a Maverick.
    http://tinyurl.com/3ou3n6

  14. HuskyMescan says at 1:47 pm, September 30th, 2008

    I need more Palin fuckupage. Im dying over here. Where are those CBS tapes with her saying she supports Al-kayda and ay-rabs and doesn’t know what year it is, or something?

  15. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:49 pm, September 30th, 2008

    I went to Dominos guy’s college. Tom Monnaham was his name (sp?). AVE MARIA COLLEGE. Where Catholics go to lose their faith.

  16. Can’t you guys sneak someone into debate prep? I don’t care with who…I gotta think those sessions are a kill.

  17. hahaha i love it

  18. Tommy Says Soooo says at 1:50 pm, September 30th, 2008

    N8Ma: I could never work at Wonkette.

    Do you pour yourself into a bottle of Scotch every day at lunch, bemoaning your wasted life, typing like a failed liberal arts grad who couldn’t get into an MFA and has to deal meth on the side?

    Then you’re either Bill Kristol’s ghostwriter or indeed “working” at Wonkette.

  19. That Ken L. He make Jim laugh so!

  20. Uh, I don’t know what all this means, but apparently it’s not good, but I’m not an expert, so I’ll let yous read through all this gibberish and then let me know if everythingz ok, mk?

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/30/01617/5440/126/615177

  21. Larry McAwful says at 1:52 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Hey, lay off that space monsters on the moon shit. I’m in Boston and we’re kind of sensitive about it. Moon monsters invaded Boston last year—or have you forgotten?

    1/31/07: Never Forget

  22. Tommy Says Soooo says at 1:53 pm, September 30th, 2008

    grendel: Indeed. I’d convert if it wasn’t for the kvetching, avarice, and headgear.
    And the Talmud prohibiting me from saying WASPy things like “indeed”. But day-um!

  23. JimNewell says at 1:54 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Tommy Says Soooo: I just turned 23 and get paid to write “jokes” all day. I will waste my life a little further down the road.

  24. AnnieGetYourFun says at 1:54 pm, September 30th, 2008

    You know, I was thinking when it turned out that Palin was NOT Michelle Bachmann, that this campaign wouldn’t be any fun. But it has been SO much fun that I do little dances every few minutes out of sheer… something. I still think that Bachmann would have been a more interesting running mate, if only because she’s too fucking insane to allow herself to be sheltered by Daddy McCain.

  25. SelfDeprecatingFed says at 1:54 pm, September 30th, 2008

    I didn’t know Obama spoke alien. I thought he only spoke Muslin.

  26. Doglessliberal says at 1:54 pm, September 30th, 2008

    “I, my friends, will finish what the Holy Mother Church started so long ago. We have a Moor running for President, so we need to act decisively to defend our women and children before this heathen can take over the reins of power! A vote McCain-Palin is a vote to protect your baby’s blood.

    I am John McCain, Holy Warrior for the Wrathful G-d, and I approve this message.”

  27. Freshly Minted Hobo Jack Mehoff says at 1:55 pm, September 30th, 2008

    It IS a slow news day,. I suggest everyone add “feshly Minted Hobo” to the front of their username for the day, as i have clearly done. perhaps then we can have something to talk about.

  28. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:55 pm, September 30th, 2008

    There is nothing wrong with a slow news day after the last week’s cluster fuck to the White House and burning economy from hell trying to destroy us all.

    Larry McAwful: Those Mooninites and their smoking…

  29. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:55 pm, September 30th, 2008

    …Barack Obama will lead his army of ALF’s into battle against John & Cindy McCain’s horde of Kardasians.

  30. Doglessliberal says at 1:55 pm, September 30th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: if not their virginity?

  31. Tommy Says Soooo says at 1:56 pm, September 30th, 2008

    ihasasad: Big win. It’s far too short. There’s nothing like teh liberals writing screeds longer than the Alaskan tundra to make them irrelevant. One line in there….”wait until President Hopey”.

    Um, hokay, freaky Kos Kultist…we coulda waited til freaking JANUARY 20th!

  32. MoodProcessor says at 1:56 pm, September 30th, 2008

    To his credit, Obama was AGAINST the Space Aliens before he was FOR them.
    Something about Brain-Eating Slugs.

  33. Where’s Sara K. Smith?

  34. Tommy Says Soooo says at 1:57 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Jim Newell: So you DO ghostwrite Kristol? You rock, JN, don’t let nobody tell you no different….woo hoo!

  35. He is such a dork. He sets hisself up so bad! Dumb dumb old geezer!

    McCain indicated that Venezuela was part of the Middle East. [americablog]

  36. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:02 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: That also was lost. Catholic girls are hilarious. It was HOLY sex. You know, in a woman’s bathroom.
    Nothing makes sense anymore.

  37. Doglessliberal: The sad thing is that that speech would pick up some votes for him.

  38. SayItWithWookies says at 2:04 pm, September 30th, 2008

    ihasasad: Eh — it just means that banks don’t need any reserves to cover their assets — basically shifting more responsibility to the already-overstressed FDIC and away from the people who’ve been using our money to gamble on subprime mortgage notes. I’m sure the slight whiff of “last desperate gamble” is completely illusory.

  39. MoodProcessor: Mmmmm…Slurm….

  40. Well, he’s using the Ross Perot Memorial Media Deflection Playbook.

    I expect to hear about the perceived Hopey’s mooslim terristo threat to disrupt bristol’s wedding

  41. ihasasad: Basically it says we’ve been getting fucked in the ass by Wall Street, but now we’re used to it, so we’re going to pay them $Billions to continue to fuck us in the ass while Bush and crew videotape it and giggle.

  42. grendel: Thank you for putting it in terms I can understand. Stupid Kos.

  43. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:11 pm, September 30th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …generally the more orthodox/conservative the upbringing, the sluttier they are. I knew a guy that use to almost exclusively pick-up women in church. He would try and get me to be his wingman, but there is just something with spitting out pick-up lines during mass that turns me off.

  44. Freshly Minted Hobo Jack Mehoff says at 2:14 pm, September 30th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: You just need to man up. What are you some kinda queer?

  45. DEBATE DRILL GUY: No. Sarah, look. Use short sentences. Like this.

    PALIN: Use short sentences. Like this. Okay!

    DRILL GUY: And stop sounding so enthusiastic. World leaders don’t sound enthusiastic.

    PALIN: They don’t? That’s just TERRIBLE!

  46. Doglessliberal says at 2:15 pm, September 30th, 2008

    grendel: judging by some of the comments on the WaPo blogs, I agree. (over the top crazy racist crap on the TECH blog!)

  47. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:17 pm, September 30th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Well, I guess his college is good for something then.

    [ex Catholic/lost mine at the drive-in]

  48. Doglessliberal says at 2:19 pm, September 30th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: it was funny, a bunch of people I was in middle school with left to go to the Catholic HS in 9th grade. It was known, even then, which was a long time ago, that my male peers loved to date the Catholic school girls. The girls all maintained their virginity because they were NOT having “sex” with anyone but having oral and anal sex, which didn’t count. (of course, the oral was one-way, none back to the girls, but don’t get me started on that). I read somewhere recently that this is a common belief/practice among Evangelical teenagers. Unreal.

  49. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:19 pm, September 30th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I saw an “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” where they hit on Pro-Lifers at their rallies. It’s true. They want BABIES. Lots of BABIES, so you may hook them, but it may not be catch and release.

  50. gotta mention this:

    If you haven’t seen the Daily Show from last night (on the website …),
    OH DEAR! They got a bunch of funny old jewish folk from Florida to watch the debate together,
    and the highlight is one old guy saying to his wife that Michelle has a big “tuckus”
    – just priceless. I will be internally giggling about that all day.

  51. greatgooglymoogly says at 2:23 pm, September 30th, 2008

    ihasasad: No reserves for banks. Zero. Nada. Effective … ehhh … tomorrow!! God … GOD!!! IS THERE NO END TO THE FUCKERY?!?

  52. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:29 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: You ever wonder if the Evangelicals were so pissed at Clinton because he made their in-between marriage sex look cheap and tawdry?

    I graduated from a catholic school in the late 80s. out of a clas of 78 boys and girls, 9 girls either graduated pregnant, with babies, or post-abortions. Catholic girls rock.

  53. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:33 pm, September 30th, 2008
  54. springfield_meltdown says at 2:36 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Gopherit v2.0: A friend of mine at a large Catholic college in the midwest told me she was so ashamed of me when I had sex, but had made out with a whole dorm of boys and was doing the oral thing and claimed gay people must be virgins on the basis of that. Sadly, this is within the past ten years so things haven’t changed much, other than the evangelicals stealing good Catholic morals.

  55. whatever_dc says at 2:39 pm, September 30th, 2008

    grendel: i would switch for gina gershon! *schwing*

  56. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:41 pm, September 30th, 2008

    springfield_meltdown: Yeah. You can gargle with holy water, but it won’t take the taste of perdition away.

  57. Tommy Says Soooo: You are 95% correct. I have an MFA. And I am “working” at “Wonkette” by sending them clicks so they can live in the desert for free.

  58. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:50 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: It’s the Secret Mormon Recruiting Technique for nubile young ladies who want to do their part, too.

    Only not so secret anymore.

  59. whatever_dc says at 2:50 pm, September 30th, 2008

    greatgooglymoogly: god is out taking a crap…or something

  60. run_said_ran says at 3:01 pm, September 30th, 2008

    Ken! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

    When did Obama start schmoozing with Scientologists?!

  61. Lascauxcaveman: Whoah whoah whoah. Mormons believe 92.4% of the opposite sex’s body is off limits until marriage. Nobody gets by with “heavy petting” or anal or oral or any of that. Trust me on this one. No double standards at all. Self-love is also off the menu.

  62. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:08 pm, September 30th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …well I’m enough a dirt bag that I would go to “Pro-Life” rally and try and pickup women. And as far as ditching them goes; its not like I ever use my real name anyways!

  63. Gopherit v2.0 says at 3:17 pm, September 30th, 2008

    N8Ma: Not the California Mormons I know….

  64. Hell, I’d go to a flag-burning in Islamabad and try to score with one of those burka babes.

  65. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:57 pm, September 30th, 2008

    archer: Hells ya, and then get a Jihad on ‘yo ass.

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