tattoos on a pig

So Is Sarah Palin’s Lipstick a Tattoo, Or What?

Yuck.
Some mysterious ladies in Wasilla sent us a Creepy Rumor a few weeks ago about Sarah Palin’s infamous lipstick, which is not lipstick on a pig (which is sexist), but lipstick used to distinguish a “hockey mom” from a murderous trailer-park dog who eats children. The rumor: It’s not even lipstick on Palin’s smug, dumb face. It’s a white-trash tattoo that is tattooed on the mouth, yuck. Well, the mystery has yet to be solved, etc., but it has at least inspired a fun photo quiz game thing so you can waste a few moments of your doomed life trying to figure out if this tattoo rumor is maybe true. Ugh. [Huffington Post]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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94 comments

  1. queeraselvis v 2.0

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  2. slappypaddy

    they usin that self-same picture down in the gitmo now, got the terriss screamin fer mercy when they see it… oh render me, baby, puck me up…

  3. SayItWithWookies

    I don’t know if it’s a tattoo, but after looking at the first picture in that slideshow, I now have the opening theme to The Rocky Horror Picture Show in my head.

  4. spencer

    As David Cross said, lip liner makes your mouth look like an asshole. In this case, an asshole on an asshole.

  5. magic titty

    [re=115353]Schadenfried[/re]: It might look like that, but I say no. For, isn’t that a form of contraception?

  6. Dave J.

    A bunch of women at my wife’s school all have tattooed makeup, and they are the white-trashiest people you could ever hope to meet. So, yeah, I totally believe this rumor is true.

  7. V572625694

    Do not, repeat DO NOT, look at that slide show on HuffPost. Not even Bible Spice deserves that kind of hideous scrutiny.

  8. liquiddaddy

    You should show us the blue tear-drop she got after shanking Big Lotta in the laundry room at Alaska State.

  9. Norbert

    this giant orifice picture is so unpleasant I can’t even keep a window open with Wonkette anymore. please post a new story on the homepage asap.

    p.s. a slide show of her lips?!?!?! Hitchens was right, we are fucked.

  10. ManchuCandidate

    I don’t know about the lip tat, but it looks like she might need some electrolysis on her lip. Just saying.

  11. gurukalehuru

    I believe that the attack on the Liberty was deliberate, that Lyndon Johnson was behind the Kennedy assassination, that Larry Silverstein brought down the WTC for the insurance money, and that Sarah Palin covered up Bristol’s 1st pregnancy by saying that she (Sarah) was pregnant, then forced her daughter into a 2nd pregnancy to cover up for the first cover up, but I don’t believe this.
    Why would anyone do that?

  12. catsquatch

    Does this mean that Wonkette has passed HuffPo on the “serious-and-responsible-journalism” squash ladder?

  13. Tommy Says Soooo

    This pic is obviously doctored. Anyone knows that if you dip a lot of Skoal, you can great nosepicking, and there’s no evidence of the latter here. Of the former, she’s from Alaska and shoots teh moose. I bet she spits blacker than black.

  14. dano

    I used to think she was hot, but that was back in the past when Palin was just Alaska’s problem. Now whenever I see her all I can think of is the crazy snowbilly theocracy that will be established when she ascends to her throne as Empress of America.

  15. S.Luggo

    How would you like to wake up each morning and be faced with that?
    Firstest Dude, you’ve earned your keep.

  16. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=115446]Terry[/re]: Not after Walnuts hugged her and rubbed his ‘noma on her. There’s still some things men wouldn’t do…………………..sober.

  17. blader

    well, that settles it. If she’s tough enough to endure the pain of having her lips tattooed, she’s tough enough to stop the canadians before they swell across the alaskan border enroute to russia or something like that

  18. ihasasad

    Palin: And I do look forward to Thursday night and debating Sen. Joe Biden. We’re gonna talk about those new ideas, new energy for America. I’m looking forward to meeting him too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade. [crooksandliars]
    And then I think she went out with Cindy and got botox to go with her tat.

  19. kmarie08wj

    Obviously it’s a tattoo. Anyone white trash enough to buy a tanning bed after the 1990′s is white trash enough to get their lipstick tattooed. Sarah Palin makes me criiiiinggggeeee.

  20. dano

    [re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: Thursday is gonna be weird. The incomplete sentences. The non sequiturs. The horrible word: Maverick. Oh yeah, and Biden’s hair plugs.

  21. 2druk2phluq

    Again with the giving nightmares to your readers. It’s not like I can filter out what I see before I see it. Next you’ll post closeup mouth shots of S.P. eating a Philly cheesesteak last Friday night. See food. Eww.

    I met a woman who does makeup tattoos one day in a flea market (I was looking for the topless tarot card reader). I considered telling her to send some screenshots to Rob Zombie for his next movie. Creepy.

  22. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=115446]Terry[/re]: Never bring the MILF factor into politics. Yes. Yes of course she is still hawt. As long as she doesn’t speak and looks pretty (WALNUTS’ strategy), she’s still Smoking Hot Dish Governor Palin.

  23. sezme

    I started going through that slideshow with the aim of getting to the bottom of it, then the uncontrollable retching started. Oh please make it stop.

  24. TGY

    This is the second time y’all have posted a dreaded Palin lip-closeup. STOP IN THE NAME OF GOD!

    I mean, just stop. A) Who cares if her lips are tattooed? B) Ewww, yuck. I’d French Hils before Palin, ’cause frankly, with the way Palin speaks I’d be afraid my tongue would get inextricably tied with hers.

  25. irisheyes

    Against advice, I looked at the HuffPo slide show. Now that I’m done revisiting my lunch, it’s totally tattooed lip liner. Nobody gets it that exact every time. Can’t be done. Even for a pageant queen.

  26. Politicalchef

    Naah, tattoos don’t come in that color. Also, there is a two-tone issue. She’s clearly using a lip-liner in a more neutral/brown tone and pinker lipstick to fill in. THis makes sense, because it was a makeup dogma (“makes your lips look more plump!”) both in the 70′s and in the 90′s – when she first learned about makeup and when she “refined” her look to become a professional politician.

    I’d bet you dollars to donuts the lip liner is MAC’s lip pencil in “Spice”, and if a tat came in that color, I’ll eat my hat.

  27. S.Luggo

    [re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: “I’m looking forward to meeting him [Senator Biden]too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade.”

    The gloves are now off, Delaware Joe. Ask Mother Goose if 2nd grade represented the best three years of her life.

  28. N8Ma

    Tattoo? No way. Her tattoos are elsewhere.

    What about Naked Sarah in Chicago? This tattoo thing is so 12:30pm.

  29. shoeho

    I’m going with the tramp stamp. It’s on exactly the same way ALL the time. Also, the same color. Who always wears the same lippy? What a slut! Makes me long for the days of Akroid and Curtin.

  30. grendel

    Have our fearless editors taken a nap and left us to look at this frightening death mask in perpetuity? Gah! I’m going mad!

  31. Saturnin

    If I had a work colleague who I really hated, I would make that the background on their desktop PC…. after I got the sysadmin to remove all of their modification priveledges.

  32. TeddyS

    Yea, Sarah! Keep up the good work for another thirty-plus days! Then return to the Wasilla tattoo parlor and get your money back. You are beginning to look like Jaws from the old James Bond flick.

  33. TheRealJimbo

    Seriously, that was irresponsible. Those photos completely put me off my plate of nachos, which I’m now feeding to the dogs (wife isn’t home). We need a new tag like “Not Safe For Lunch” or something.

  34. natoslug

    [re=115446]Terry[/re]: No. In my defense, I hadn’t heard her speak back then. I’m still trying to figure out if her vocal cadence is intentional or if she is subconsciously pausing between every word to figure out what should go next (and most likely, what she’d just said).

    Close up like this, I’d say she has the Margaret Thatcher, invisible cat turd resting under the nose, smile down pat.

  35. gliberal

    It can now be revealed that when Bush opined “This sucker could go down,” he was actually referring to Sarah Kneepads.

  36. run_said_ran

    Hrm, I dunno. This is a tough call. On a few, it looks like the entire mouth is lined, whereas on others, its just the swell of the bottom lip, and bow of the uppermost.

    I think we should call in an expert on this. Anyone have RuPaul’s addy?

  37. ihatepolls

    Kate asks: What newspapers does Palin read?

    Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

    Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

    Couric: What, specifically?

    Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

    Couric: Can you name a few?

    Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/30/eveningnews/main4490618.shtml

  38. Beans

    [re=115489]Politicalchef[/re]: On your knowledge of the history of makeup:

    You surpass my knowledge, and I’m good or, as Sarah might put it, gooder.

    That big photo caught her in full nose twitch. I wonder if she practiced in front of a mirror after reruns of Bewitched.

  39. Beans

    [re=116222]ihatepolls[/re]:

    I just saw this on Keith and Rachel. Do you think this woman really doesn’t read? Not even Cosmo or Field And Stream? At least the National Enquirer?

    I have a vast variety–yeah, at the newstand at the Anchorage airport.

  40. Beans

    WTF–Did Rachel M and the original wonketter herself just say Joan Walsh and Fareed Zakaria are Republicans?

    I don’t know anything, anymore, despite my careful study of Wonkette and The Onion. I need a vast variety of whatever put before me.

  41. azw88

    Palin: The campaign knows that I am an open book. My record is out there and my life is out there.

    Yes, she is an open book, but the pages are blank.

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