TATTOOS ON A PIG  12:26 pm September 30, 2008

So Is Sarah Palin’s Lipstick a Tattoo, Or What?

by Ken Layne

Yuck.
Some mysterious ladies in Wasilla sent us a Creepy Rumor a few weeks ago about Sarah Palin’s infamous lipstick, which is not lipstick on a pig (which is sexist), but lipstick used to distinguish a “hockey mom” from a murderous trailer-park dog who eats children. The rumor: It’s not even lipstick on Palin’s smug, dumb face. It’s a white-trash tattoo that is tattooed on the mouth, yuck. Well, the mystery has yet to be solved, etc., but it has at least inspired a fun photo quiz game thing so you can waste a few moments of your doomed life trying to figure out if this tattoo rumor is maybe true. Ugh. [Huffington Post]

 
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{ 94 comments }

Mumble Softly September 30, 2008 at 12:30 pm

She does have really nice bleached teeth though.

Johnny Zhivago September 30, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Do you really need to post photos like that before lunch?

Schadenfried September 30, 2008 at 12:31 pm

I’m going to be a self-hating female and say the she looks like she swallowed McAngry’s babies.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 30, 2008 at 12:32 pm

That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

slappypaddy September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

they usin that self-same picture down in the gitmo now, got the terriss screamin fer mercy when they see it… oh render me, baby, puck me up…

SayItWithWookies September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

I don’t know if it’s a tattoo, but after looking at the first picture in that slideshow, I now have the opening theme to The Rocky Horror Picture Show in my head.

Servo September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

What about those lobotomy stitches?

spencer September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

As David Cross said, lip liner makes your mouth look like an asshole. In this case, an asshole on an asshole.

magic titty September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=115353]Schadenfried[/re]: It might look like that, but I say no. For, isn’t that a form of contraception?

mr.november September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

The new tramp stamp?

nurple September 30, 2008 at 12:34 pm

I cannot imagine how much a lip tattoo would hurt. Maybe she’s into that. I doubt it.

freakishlystrong September 30, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Man, without her glasses, she’s fugly..

Dave J. September 30, 2008 at 12:34 pm

A bunch of women at my wife’s school all have tattooed makeup, and they are the white-trashiest people you could ever hope to meet. So, yeah, I totally believe this rumor is true.

V572625694 September 30, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Do not, repeat DO NOT, look at that slide show on HuffPost. Not even Bible Spice deserves that kind of hideous scrutiny.

DoctorCulturae September 30, 2008 at 12:35 pm

C’mon, those are really Tammy Faye’s lips right?

tunamelt September 30, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Now all she needs to do is Sharpie on her eyebrows and she’s got the chola vote.

mamandesfilles September 30, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Do we really need another smirky politician?

Gopherit v2.0 September 30, 2008 at 12:38 pm

[re=115372]V572625694[/re]: All those wet, pouty lips made me feel…..funny.

liquiddaddy September 30, 2008 at 12:39 pm

You should show us the blue tear-drop she got after shanking Big Lotta in the laundry room at Alaska State.

friendlynerd September 30, 2008 at 12:41 pm

You should see the tattoo on her other lips

ServiceJervixJuice September 30, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Who painted up the Gargoyle?

wavingnotdrowning September 30, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Sour puss. So to speak.

Kwame' September 30, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Slide #7 looks like cold sores are oozing out of the liner.

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2008 at 12:44 pm

…I swear it looks like she has a cold sore in the 4th to last pic.

Rush September 30, 2008 at 12:44 pm

uhhh, that photo looks like a famous person from the 90′s

http://marklipinskisblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/linda-tripp-alone.jpg

MarSF September 30, 2008 at 12:45 pm

She has her own tanning bed.

What more do we need to know?

Rush September 30, 2008 at 12:46 pm

[re=115392]friendlynerd[/re]:

2 thumbs up

facehead September 30, 2008 at 12:47 pm

Definitely in the pocket of Big Tattoo.

whatever_dc September 30, 2008 at 12:48 pm

[re=115392]friendlynerd[/re]: win

ph7 September 30, 2008 at 12:49 pm

This way she can attend Wasilla Rainbow parties without leaving a trace…

Norbert September 30, 2008 at 12:49 pm

this giant orifice picture is so unpleasant I can’t even keep a window open with Wonkette anymore. please post a new story on the homepage asap.

p.s. a slide show of her lips?!?!?! Hitchens was right, we are fucked.

DieOnTheTurnpike September 30, 2008 at 12:51 pm

[re=115405]Rush[/re]: alternate to the shocker?

Miller September 30, 2008 at 12:51 pm

You should see the battleship tattoo on her ass, it’s magnificent. Stern to bow, cheek to cheek.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

sanantonerose September 30, 2008 at 12:53 pm

[re=115378]tunamelt[/re]: Never mix cholas and sharpies.

That pic of Palin’s mouth looks EXACTLY like Peggy Hill. Or Giuliani in drag.

stew September 30, 2008 at 12:53 pm

Cock goes here!

Servo September 30, 2008 at 12:53 pm

I guess Mr. Moose was bitching about the smudges in his Wonder Woman underoos.

ManchuCandidate September 30, 2008 at 12:54 pm

I don’t know about the lip tat, but it looks like she might need some electrolysis on her lip. Just saying.

gurukalehuru September 30, 2008 at 12:54 pm

I believe that the attack on the Liberty was deliberate, that Lyndon Johnson was behind the Kennedy assassination, that Larry Silverstein brought down the WTC for the insurance money, and that Sarah Palin covered up Bristol’s 1st pregnancy by saying that she (Sarah) was pregnant, then forced her daughter into a 2nd pregnancy to cover up for the first cover up, but I don’t believe this.
Why would anyone do that?

Bypartizoa September 30, 2008 at 12:56 pm
ella September 30, 2008 at 12:58 pm

I never noticed till now that the tip of her nose could use some work.

catsquatch September 30, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Does this mean that Wonkette has passed HuffPo on the “serious-and-responsible-journalism” squash ladder?

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 12:59 pm

What is this pitbull doing on Wonkette? And why is it wearing lipstick?

Terry September 30, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Let’s hear from all of you who were lusting after her this past year. Is she still a GILF/MILF?

Tommy Says Soooo September 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm

This pic is obviously doctored. Anyone knows that if you dip a lot of Skoal, you can great nosepicking, and there’s no evidence of the latter here. Of the former, she’s from Alaska and shoots teh moose. I bet she spits blacker than black.

dano September 30, 2008 at 1:04 pm

I used to think she was hot, but that was back in the past when Palin was just Alaska’s problem. Now whenever I see her all I can think of is the crazy snowbilly theocracy that will be established when she ascends to her throne as Empress of America.

Sweetfoot September 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm

We have a Palin pig poster…check it out:

http://www.democratbydesign.typepad.com

S.Luggo September 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm

How would you like to wake up each morning and be faced with that?
Firstest Dude, you’ve earned your keep.

Godot September 30, 2008 at 1:06 pm

Are you sure that picture is Sarah Palin? It REALLY looks like my mother-in-law…

Tommy Says Soooo September 30, 2008 at 1:06 pm

[re=115446]Terry[/re]: Not after Walnuts hugged her and rubbed his ‘noma on her. There’s still some things men wouldn’t do…………………..sober.

blader September 30, 2008 at 1:08 pm

well, that settles it. If she’s tough enough to endure the pain of having her lips tattooed, she’s tough enough to stop the canadians before they swell across the alaskan border enroute to russia or something like that

ManchuCandidate September 30, 2008 at 1:09 pm

[re=115446]Terry[/re]:
Nope. The Stupid burns like VD.

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 1:09 pm

Palin: And I do look forward to Thursday night and debating Sen. Joe Biden. We’re gonna talk about those new ideas, new energy for America. I’m looking forward to meeting him too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade. [crooksandliars]
And then I think she went out with Cindy and got botox to go with her tat.

facehead September 30, 2008 at 1:10 pm

This is what happens when you let women become journalists.

kmarie08wj September 30, 2008 at 1:12 pm

Obviously it’s a tattoo. Anyone white trash enough to buy a tanning bed after the 1990′s is white trash enough to get their lipstick tattooed. Sarah Palin makes me criiiiinggggeeee.

dano September 30, 2008 at 1:17 pm

[re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: Thursday is gonna be weird. The incomplete sentences. The non sequiturs. The horrible word: Maverick. Oh yeah, and Biden’s hair plugs.

2druk2phluq September 30, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Again with the giving nightmares to your readers. It’s not like I can filter out what I see before I see it. Next you’ll post closeup mouth shots of S.P. eating a Philly cheesesteak last Friday night. See food. Eww.

I met a woman who does makeup tattoos one day in a flea market (I was looking for the topless tarot card reader). I considered telling her to send some screenshots to Rob Zombie for his next movie. Creepy.

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=115446]Terry[/re]: Never bring the MILF factor into politics. Yes. Yes of course she is still hawt. As long as she doesn’t speak and looks pretty (WALNUTS’ strategy), she’s still Smoking Hot Dish Governor Palin.

sezme September 30, 2008 at 1:19 pm

I started going through that slideshow with the aim of getting to the bottom of it, then the uncontrollable retching started. Oh please make it stop.

TGY September 30, 2008 at 1:20 pm

This is the second time y’all have posted a dreaded Palin lip-closeup. STOP IN THE NAME OF GOD!

I mean, just stop. A) Who cares if her lips are tattooed? B) Ewww, yuck. I’d French Hils before Palin, ’cause frankly, with the way Palin speaks I’d be afraid my tongue would get inextricably tied with hers.

irisheyes September 30, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Against advice, I looked at the HuffPo slide show. Now that I’m done revisiting my lunch, it’s totally tattooed lip liner. Nobody gets it that exact every time. Can’t be done. Even for a pageant queen.

accidental_tourist September 30, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Her eyebrows, eyeliner, and lips are all tattoos. That’s all I’m saying. For now.

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 1:25 pm

I don’t think that’s her real face

Politicalchef September 30, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Naah, tattoos don’t come in that color. Also, there is a two-tone issue. She’s clearly using a lip-liner in a more neutral/brown tone and pinker lipstick to fill in. THis makes sense, because it was a makeup dogma (“makes your lips look more plump!”) both in the 70′s and in the 90′s – when she first learned about makeup and when she “refined” her look to become a professional politician.

I’d bet you dollars to donuts the lip liner is MAC’s lip pencil in “Spice”, and if a tat came in that color, I’ll eat my hat.

HuskyMescan September 30, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Wasilla skankers alert. Seriously. McCain loves sluts.

S.Luggo September 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: “I’m looking forward to meeting him [Senator Biden]too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade.”

The gloves are now off, Delaware Joe. Ask Mother Goose if 2nd grade represented the best three years of her life.

Gopherit v2.0 September 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Delicious September 30, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=115423]sanantonerose[/re]: Cholas and Sharpies? That’s fucked up, homie.

N8Ma September 30, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Tattoo? No way. Her tattoos are elsewhere.

What about Naked Sarah in Chicago? This tattoo thing is so 12:30pm.

ihasasad September 30, 2008 at 1:35 pm

[re=115497]S.Luggo[/re]: ZING!

N8Ma September 30, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=115446]Terry[/re]: GILF forever!

shoeho September 30, 2008 at 1:38 pm

I’m going with the tramp stamp. It’s on exactly the same way ALL the time. Also, the same color. Who always wears the same lippy? What a slut! Makes me long for the days of Akroid and Curtin.

grendel September 30, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Have our fearless editors taken a nap and left us to look at this frightening death mask in perpetuity? Gah! I’m going mad!

murality September 30, 2008 at 1:38 pm

My god, that was horrible.

S.Luggo September 30, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=115498]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Thanks. It perks up my day to watch elder abuse.

Saturnin September 30, 2008 at 1:39 pm

If I had a work colleague who I really hated, I would make that the background on their desktop PC…. after I got the sysadmin to remove all of their modification priveledges.

TeddyS September 30, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Yea, Sarah! Keep up the good work for another thirty-plus days! Then return to the Wasilla tattoo parlor and get your money back. You are beginning to look like Jaws from the old James Bond flick.

disgustedcitizen September 30, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Wait! Why would she wear lipstick or a tattoo on her anus… Oh, nevermind.

Servo September 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm

On the far right. Look familiar?
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photos/alice3.jpg

simetrias September 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Move over, Tina Fey…. I’ve found the real Sarah Palin in a previous life. SueEllen Ewing, of course!

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQzNjA1NzE3OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNTQyMDQ2._V1._SX265_SY400_.jpg

Hart88 September 30, 2008 at 2:37 pm

$10 says she has a tramp stamp

TheRealJimbo September 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Seriously, that was irresponsible. Those photos completely put me off my plate of nachos, which I’m now feeding to the dogs (wife isn’t home). We need a new tag like “Not Safe For Lunch” or something.

natoslug September 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=115446]Terry[/re]: No. In my defense, I hadn’t heard her speak back then. I’m still trying to figure out if her vocal cadence is intentional or if she is subconsciously pausing between every word to figure out what should go next (and most likely, what she’d just said).

Close up like this, I’d say she has the Margaret Thatcher, invisible cat turd resting under the nose, smile down pat.

gliberal September 30, 2008 at 3:55 pm

It can now be revealed that when Bush opined “This sucker could go down,” he was actually referring to Sarah Kneepads.

American Spectator September 30, 2008 at 4:19 pm

I don’t know about you, but that series of photos on HuffPo gave me a Woodrow. Yummy!

azw88 September 30, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Tattoed lips revealed:
http://www.dutiel.com/farks/palin_lips.jpg

Sorry, not enough time today to do a great job on this fark, maybe next week.

run_said_ran September 30, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Hrm, I dunno. This is a tough call. On a few, it looks like the entire mouth is lined, whereas on others, its just the swell of the bottom lip, and bow of the uppermost.

I think we should call in an expert on this. Anyone have RuPaul’s addy?

cheeto_jeebus September 30, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Now I don’t feel so bad about what I spent on lunch ’cause I got to taste it twice.

ihatepolls September 30, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Kate asks: What newspapers does Palin read?

Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

Couric: What, specifically?

Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

Couric: Can you name a few?

Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/30/eveningnews/main4490618.shtml

Beans September 30, 2008 at 9:18 pm

[re=115489]Politicalchef[/re]: On your knowledge of the history of makeup:

You surpass my knowledge, and I’m good or, as Sarah might put it, gooder.

That big photo caught her in full nose twitch. I wonder if she practiced in front of a mirror after reruns of Bewitched.

Beans September 30, 2008 at 9:26 pm

[re=116222]ihatepolls[/re]:

I just saw this on Keith and Rachel. Do you think this woman really doesn’t read? Not even Cosmo or Field And Stream? At least the National Enquirer?

I have a vast variety–yeah, at the newstand at the Anchorage airport.

Beans September 30, 2008 at 9:48 pm

WTF–Did Rachel M and the original wonketter herself just say Joan Walsh and Fareed Zakaria are Republicans?

I don’t know anything, anymore, despite my careful study of Wonkette and The Onion. I need a vast variety of whatever put before me.

ihatepolls September 30, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Beans:

She likes to ban books, possibly she does not read at all.

azw88 September 30, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Palin: The campaign knows that I am an open book. My record is out there and my life is out there.

Yes, she is an open book, but the pages are blank.

peterPerfect September 30, 2008 at 10:58 pm

That image really gives me the creeps. Seriously.

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