Some mysterious ladies in Wasilla sent us a Creepy Rumor a few weeks ago about Sarah Palin’s infamous lipstick, which is not lipstick on a pig (which is sexist), but lipstick used to distinguish a “hockey mom” from a murderous trailer-park dog who eats children. The rumor: It’s not even lipstick on Palin’s smug, dumb face. It’s a white-trash tattoo that is tattooed on the mouth, yuck. Well, the mystery has yet to be solved, etc., but it has at least inspired a fun photo quiz game thing so you can waste a few moments of your doomed life trying to figure out if this tattoo rumor is maybe true. Ugh. [Huffington Post]

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  1. That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  2. I don’t know if it’s a tattoo, but after looking at the first picture in that slideshow, I now have the opening theme to The Rocky Horror Picture Show in my head.

  3. A bunch of women at my wife’s school all have tattooed makeup, and they are the white-trashiest people you could ever hope to meet. So, yeah, I totally believe this rumor is true.

  4. this giant orifice picture is so unpleasant I can’t even keep a window open with Wonkette anymore. please post a new story on the homepage asap.

    p.s. a slide show of her lips?!?!?! Hitchens was right, we are fucked.

  5. I believe that the attack on the Liberty was deliberate, that Lyndon Johnson was behind the Kennedy assassination, that Larry Silverstein brought down the WTC for the insurance money, and that Sarah Palin covered up Bristol’s 1st pregnancy by saying that she (Sarah) was pregnant, then forced her daughter into a 2nd pregnancy to cover up for the first cover up, but I don’t believe this.
    Why would anyone do that?

  6. This pic is obviously doctored. Anyone knows that if you dip a lot of Skoal, you can great nosepicking, and there’s no evidence of the latter here. Of the former, she’s from Alaska and shoots teh moose. I bet she spits blacker than black.

  7. I used to think she was hot, but that was back in the past when Palin was just Alaska’s problem. Now whenever I see her all I can think of is the crazy snowbilly theocracy that will be established when she ascends to her throne as Empress of America.

  8. [re=115446]Terry[/re]: Not after Walnuts hugged her and rubbed his ‘noma on her. There’s still some things men wouldn’t do…………………..sober.

  9. well, that settles it. If she’s tough enough to endure the pain of having her lips tattooed, she’s tough enough to stop the canadians before they swell across the alaskan border enroute to russia or something like that

  10. Palin: And I do look forward to Thursday night and debating Sen. Joe Biden. We’re gonna talk about those new ideas, new energy for America. I’m looking forward to meeting him too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade. [crooksandliars]
    And then I think she went out with Cindy and got botox to go with her tat.

  11. Obviously it’s a tattoo. Anyone white trash enough to buy a tanning bed after the 1990’s is white trash enough to get their lipstick tattooed. Sarah Palin makes me criiiiinggggeeee.

  12. [re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: Thursday is gonna be weird. The incomplete sentences. The non sequiturs. The horrible word: Maverick. Oh yeah, and Biden’s hair plugs.

  13. Again with the giving nightmares to your readers. It’s not like I can filter out what I see before I see it. Next you’ll post closeup mouth shots of S.P. eating a Philly cheesesteak last Friday night. See food. Eww.

    I met a woman who does makeup tattoos one day in a flea market (I was looking for the topless tarot card reader). I considered telling her to send some screenshots to Rob Zombie for his next movie. Creepy.

  14. [re=115446]Terry[/re]: Never bring the MILF factor into politics. Yes. Yes of course she is still hawt. As long as she doesn’t speak and looks pretty (WALNUTS’ strategy), she’s still Smoking Hot Dish Governor Palin.

  15. This is the second time y’all have posted a dreaded Palin lip-closeup. STOP IN THE NAME OF GOD!

    I mean, just stop. A) Who cares if her lips are tattooed? B) Ewww, yuck. I’d French Hils before Palin, ’cause frankly, with the way Palin speaks I’d be afraid my tongue would get inextricably tied with hers.

  16. Against advice, I looked at the HuffPo slide show. Now that I’m done revisiting my lunch, it’s totally tattooed lip liner. Nobody gets it that exact every time. Can’t be done. Even for a pageant queen.

  17. Naah, tattoos don’t come in that color. Also, there is a two-tone issue. She’s clearly using a lip-liner in a more neutral/brown tone and pinker lipstick to fill in. THis makes sense, because it was a makeup dogma (“makes your lips look more plump!”) both in the 70’s and in the 90’s – when she first learned about makeup and when she “refined” her look to become a professional politician.

    I’d bet you dollars to donuts the lip liner is MAC’s lip pencil in “Spice”, and if a tat came in that color, I’ll eat my hat.

  18. [re=115469]ihasasad[/re]: “I’m looking forward to meeting him [Senator Biden]too. I’ve never met him before, but I’ve been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was in like second grade.”

    The gloves are now off, Delaware Joe. Ask Mother Goose if 2nd grade represented the best three years of her life.

  19. I’m going with the tramp stamp. It’s on exactly the same way ALL the time. Also, the same color. Who always wears the same lippy? What a slut! Makes me long for the days of Akroid and Curtin.

  20. If I had a work colleague who I really hated, I would make that the background on their desktop PC…. after I got the sysadmin to remove all of their modification priveledges.

  21. Yea, Sarah! Keep up the good work for another thirty-plus days! Then return to the Wasilla tattoo parlor and get your money back. You are beginning to look like Jaws from the old James Bond flick.

  22. Seriously, that was irresponsible. Those photos completely put me off my plate of nachos, which I’m now feeding to the dogs (wife isn’t home). We need a new tag like “Not Safe For Lunch” or something.

  23. [re=115446]Terry[/re]: No. In my defense, I hadn’t heard her speak back then. I’m still trying to figure out if her vocal cadence is intentional or if she is subconsciously pausing between every word to figure out what should go next (and most likely, what she’d just said).

    Close up like this, I’d say she has the Margaret Thatcher, invisible cat turd resting under the nose, smile down pat.

  24. Hrm, I dunno. This is a tough call. On a few, it looks like the entire mouth is lined, whereas on others, its just the swell of the bottom lip, and bow of the uppermost.

    I think we should call in an expert on this. Anyone have RuPaul’s addy?

  25. Kate asks: What newspapers does Palin read?

    Couric: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

    Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

    Couric: What, specifically?

    Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

    Couric: Can you name a few?

    Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

  26. [re=115489]Politicalchef[/re]: On your knowledge of the history of makeup:

    You surpass my knowledge, and I’m good or, as Sarah might put it, gooder.

    That big photo caught her in full nose twitch. I wonder if she practiced in front of a mirror after reruns of Bewitched.

  27. [re=116222]ihatepolls[/re]:

    I just saw this on Keith and Rachel. Do you think this woman really doesn’t read? Not even Cosmo or Field And Stream? At least the National Enquirer?

    I have a vast variety–yeah, at the newstand at the Anchorage airport.

  28. WTF–Did Rachel M and the original wonketter herself just say Joan Walsh and Fareed Zakaria are Republicans?

    I don’t know anything, anymore, despite my careful study of Wonkette and The Onion. I need a vast variety of whatever put before me.

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