HOW YOU LIKE IT  12:06 pm September 30, 2008

by Jim Newell

  • WE’RE RICH AGAIN!: Ha ha, gay Europe is now bailing out all of its banks too, meaning the dollar is somehow rising like a biotch against their fancypants “pound” and “euro.” AMERICA FUCK YEAH, now let’s go buy all of their stuff and burn it because fuck fucking Europe, losers. [Bloomberg]
 
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{ 39 comments }

Gopherit v2.0 September 30, 2008 at 12:12 pm

The bonus of fucking our own economy is fucking the economies of the rest of the world, too. That’ll maake us rich! It’s called trickle-on economics.

Tommy Says Soooo September 30, 2008 at 12:13 pm

Can I come back in from picking my own arugula now?

Too Lazy To Sign In September 30, 2008 at 12:13 pm

You mean that hippie kids from private liberal education colleges will once again be able to backpack across Europe again!?

God Bless the USA!

Lascauxcaveman September 30, 2008 at 12:14 pm

A little tightening of the credit market will help give us some much needed self-discipline.

[dogless liberal screams, throws shoe]

surfacenoise76 September 30, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Ha! And I’ll soon be going to Spain for three weeks to sit out the election!

grendel September 30, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Dammit, I was just in Europe this summer and shit was expensive… motherfuckers…

Cape Clod September 30, 2008 at 12:16 pm

“AMERICA FUCK YEAH, now let’s go buy all of their stuff and burn it because fuck fucking Europe, losers.”

The Wall Street Journal had an editorial this morning that said pretty much the same thing.

blader September 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm

Yeah! stick it up the asses of the Lazy fat cat european IBankers who got them into their mess!!!

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2008 at 12:18 pm

…how does the old saying go:

“When America sneezes, the rest of the world gets an STD!”

freakishlystrong September 30, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Wow, Dubya is so powerful he managed to fuck the ENTIRE world in the ass! My friendsTM, that’s juju…

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 12:20 pm

[re=115290]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Trickle down ass-fucking… at least we’re still on top.

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2008 at 12:21 pm

…damn it Jim, I don’t understand these elitist terms! Break it down for me and tell me whether or not $50 bucks can get me a BJ?!?!

tunamelt September 30, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=115309]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I didn’t know you sneezed with a dirty cock.

grendel September 30, 2008 at 12:21 pm

OT, but go read these comments… I think these people would lynch Obama if they had the chance: http://comments.realclearpolitics.com/read/1/211548/212171.html

nurple September 30, 2008 at 12:21 pm

The Treasury is balking at the Paulson in Leather Pants clause.

Aurelio September 30, 2008 at 12:22 pm

USA! USA! USA!

edgydrifter September 30, 2008 at 12:23 pm

The magic power of America has always been to hang on just a little bit longer than everyone else through sheer bull-headedness, and then to celebrate by standing over the fallen, peeing on them while chanting “USA! USA! USA!” ‘cuz we sure showed them what-for.

magic titty September 30, 2008 at 12:28 pm

…awkward

tunamelt September 30, 2008 at 12:28 pm

[re=115323]edgydrifter[/re]: That’s the American Dream.

slappypaddy September 30, 2008 at 12:29 pm

bloomberg also sez, in a diffo story, as to how the recession we’re in–doan look!–is sizin up to be the worst since the one way back when reagan ana snidely whip-congress first did neocon eco-jitsu before some o’youse was born… merka, fuck yeah! go team go… do the smaller dollar holler!

V572625694 September 30, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Suck it, Eurotrash! Who ever heard of a bank called “Dexia,” anyway? It deserves to fail. Banks should have secure, substantial sounding names, like “Wachovia” and “Citi.”

middleamerican September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=115313]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: So do you think that the U.S. is still qualified to be a “Superpower top” or has been relegated to plain old garden-variety “power top”?

nurple September 30, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Columbian drug lords, with warehouses full of hundreds, are breathing a sigh of relief.

magic titty September 30, 2008 at 12:37 pm

I’m a bit upset about this. I have been relishing in the dollar being completely dicksmacked by the Euro.
Boo.

Johnny Zhivago September 30, 2008 at 12:38 pm

If every damn foreigner in the world would just get their finger out of their nose and write us a check for $700 each we could fix this mess.

donner_froh September 30, 2008 at 12:38 pm

The bank Dexia SA got in trouble because they read all the numbers backward.

OkieHookerinEngland September 30, 2008 at 12:39 pm

[re=115316]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: 50 bucks and a can of Campbells? Me love you long long time.

S.Luggo September 30, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Good news, bitches:
“Credit Crunch Worries Solved With Fine French Food And Wine”
http://www.thelondondailynews.com/credit-crunch-worries-solved-with-fine-french-food-wine-p-1458.html

Johnny Zhivago September 30, 2008 at 12:42 pm

If America could export hubris, we would have this whole problem under control in no time.

S.Luggo September 30, 2008 at 12:46 pm

[re=115318]grendel[/re]: However, the empathy which poster “Conservative in CA” has with poor because of the way they’ve been victimized by Obama and his ilk is quite, quite moving.

donner_froh September 30, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=115318]grendel[/re]: I only read the first 25 or so but some of them were pretty good. For example:

“This article reeks of Republican desperation. The Party That Destroyed America and the cranky old fart it nominated are going down.”

Miller September 30, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Take it Europe! We can fail your banks with our mind powers.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2008 at 12:58 pm

[re=115361]middleamerican[/re]: We may still qualify for the dirty sanchez, but by no means do we deserve the “hot carl.”

TGY September 30, 2008 at 1:14 pm

This *would* happen right after I get back from London. I’ve missed the tide again. Fuckers!

facehead September 30, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Seems like a good time for me to throw out my old blow up sex doll, which was actually just a balloon with a smiley face, and buy me some cheap whores!

Kingbee September 30, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Our German exchange student’s parents got a bargain when they bought dollars for him in August. I can already hear his parents squeal over his next debit card transaction. Serves them right for sending me someone who won’t eat peanut butter, and beats me in chess!!!

Saturnin September 30, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Belgian bank regulators: Sacre bleue, someone, zey ‘ave set us up ze bomb, non?
Uncle Sam: All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction, you pinko-commie, black-beret-wearing, effete, unfiltered chain smokers.

SisterTruth September 30, 2008 at 3:05 pm

George Bush is such a global fuck up. How much do you want to bet that he manages to blow something up by accident before he leaves office. George What Happened: “Well, the red button was so pretty. i just wanted to touch it once before I left office. I didn’t even push it that hard….” Oops and there goes half of Europe and three of the 50 United States.

natoslug September 30, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Let me know when those Canadian fuckers start suffering. I want my American money to be worth something again the next time I’m in Vancouver. And to be able to mock the bastards in Chinatown who wanted the check paid in Loonies only this summer. It’s the American damned continent — shouldn’t the American dollar be good everywhere on it?

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