Wonkette
- LEDE OF THE DAY: “Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his top aides took credit for building a winning bailout coalition – hours before the vote failed and stocks tanked.” [Politico]
VICTORY!
Heckuva job, Grampy!
The fundamentals of McCain’s persuasiveness are sound.
Their timing is biblically catastrophic and just as hilarious.
MISSION UNCOMPLISHED!
Well, that strategy worked so well for Friday night’s debate…..
Good thing he has Sarah Palin to spin this for him.
Putting down grandpa is difficult for anyone. But Republicans: I think this may be the time. I’m sorry, but we have to put him to sleep.
At least we can all have a good laugh at grampy McMoron — that’s one good thing to come out of this shitstorm. But laughing is a somewhat poor substitute for eating, as we shall all soon discover.
Twice in a week McCain takes defeat from the jaws of victory. And I thought it was only my beloved Oakland Raiders that could manage to fuck up a lead two weeks in a row!
Jeebus. Suzie Ormand just said that the economy isn’t likely to truly become healthy again until 2015. Me no likey. Can I haz new expert?
jumpin jack mcnuggets steps up, or in it, again… didn he win that debate before it happened? the man’s on a streak, bending an’breakin the physical lawz to accomplish things way ahead o’time… leavin us to eat his dust… go, jack, go… really, jack, jess go, pleez…
Mr. Potter strikes again. When will George Bailey’s friends show up with the money to fix this mess?
shortsshortsshorts: Can’t Bible Spice tricking him into standing on a piece of ice & then, oops!
shortsshortsshorts: Well, it’s obvious he’s in pain. And he’s going to a better place, where the markets roam free and invisible hands pet you to sleep at night.
azw88: Walnuts is the New York Mets!!!
Isn’t this like McCain. Each time he thinks he’s at the controls something crashes.
That Jill Hazelbaker, she’s a real piece of work. She ranks right up there with Monica Crowley, Laura Ingraham & Ann Coulter on the bitch-o-meter scale. Are there any high-visibility Republican women who should not be stoned?
Sara in the West: trick not tricking. Damn Stupid Brain.
bitchincamaro: I hate the Mets and the EVIL EMPIRE-YANKEES
ManchuCandidate: Yeah, he’s kind of like that ’special’ kid down the street, riding his bike and yelling out ‘look ma, no hands’ just before he hits a street sign.
ManchuCandidate: Ha ha!
Oh, please please Santa, let somebody put that clip on YouTube and play it over and over!!
FAIL
I think we can all let out a collective chuckle…
Smoke Filled Roommate: Oh fuck me, I fucked that up.
If you live in Los Angeles, Philippes the Original will be selling food on next Monday at 1908 prices—so you can get a french dip for ten cents.
I wonder if anyone has wonken him from his nap to tell him about this. Better to let him sleep now, or he’ll be fussy all evening, I guess.
Absolutely true story.
My wife and I watched the stocks fall as it became clear the bailout was going to be voted down. As the clock in the House of Reps went to 0:00, my two year-old son walked up to us and said “ashes, ashes we all fall down.”
Let me try again.
Its 3:00 and the phone rings. Guess what, no one answers it because we are all on our fuckin’ own.
McCain has shown to be a trickster - not a leader. The culture of Congress is SO toxic, that the Speaker can’t strategically shut her mouth long enough to say “aye”.
Know what, let the markets crumble, let unemployment rise to 13%, let wages deflate. I’ll take my pennies and buy cheap stocks and watch the Chinese build buildings and fly to the moon.
Our so called “leaders” are juveniles.
Is it still okay to blame this clusterfuck on Ralph Nader and the 2000 Florida recount?
tunamelt: Fuck, if it costs that much, I’d have to cash in my 401K…. and that may not be enough……
Smoke Filled Roommate: Okay nevermind, I’m embarassed now.
Smoke Filled Roommate: no dice.
For high-profile Republican women who should not be stoned, Texan Bulldoggette How ’bout Fred Thompson’s lobbyist wife with the huge rack, Jeri something or other?
“I’ve never been afraid of stepping in to solve problems for the American people, and I’m not going to stop now,” McCain told a rally in Columbus, Ohio.
Last night my toilet wouldn’t flush so WALNUTS! showed up with a plunder. Now my apartment is flooded.
Give credit to Barney Frank for the best sound bite of the day. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/29/frank-because-somebody-hu_n_130328.html
Who’s with me? Is this group of Republicans the biggest pile of steaming shit to ever show up in Congress or anywhere else? Fuck them fuck them fuck them. And fuck them while we’re at it.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Hey, you’re breaking the Internets
nyhfrog: That really fucking creepy. Please lock your door at night from now on.
nyhfrog: Your grandson was telling you to burn your house down and collect the insurance $$. Smart kid!
shortsshortsshorts: We should send him to Alaska and put him on an ice float to nowhere.
Dientes: If we’re lucky, one of the starving polar bears will exact some karmic revenge.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Walnuts? Is that you?
ManchuCandidate:
The result of his stubborn lack of vision and immovable little arms.
McCorpse ( desperately trying to regain control ): “Okay. Okay. I’ve been in tougher situations than this. There’s the ground…looks hard…”
madtowngooner: Barney Franck may not be the best face to put out there today. In 2003, the Treasury wanted oversight of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Frank said:
“These two entities — Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — are not facing any kind of financial crisis,” said Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts, the ranking Democrat on the Financial Services Committee. “The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing.”
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E06E3D6123BF932A2575AC0A9659C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=print
John McCain JUST WON THE ELECTION!!!
madtowngooner: Oh man, insulting someone like that is quite likely to get you banned!
Dientes: Significantly less expensive then making him build, and then walk a bridge to nowhere.
I believe Morrissey said it best when he said:
“In America, they brought you the hamburger
Well, America, you know where you can shove your hamburger…”
Gopherit v2.0: I was scrolling through the comments to see if someone had already suggested we wake Walnuts! I knew odds heavily favored one of the prolific posters having already said it, and lo and behold, twas you.
Did he also put a “McCain Saves Economy!” ad on the Wall Street Journal website?
Can:
….ahem…5 year old quote, there.
And at least the result of this Charlie-Foxtrot is a whole bunch of houses. People do need houses, you know, although in terms of sustainability, there shoulda been more apartment-style stuff. It’s not like they’re fighter planes that have no peacetime utility, or battleships rusting away like in Russia, or a dustbowl. There will be an equilibrium reached and a lot more people will have places to live. Just no gas, hA
And if it wasn’t for McCain, we would’ve lost the war in VeitNam!
oh, wait.
Still, His shriveled arms led us to victory in Iraq.
oh, wait …
The Bailout! God Bless the Bailout and John McCain’s leadership.
No, not yet?
Well, how about McCain has finally put a vagina on a national ticket?
wait, yeah, fuck you Ferraro, this is a vagina we want!
and so it goes (somebody please stop the voices in my head)
azw88: You’re right, but that’s what happens in the hobo jungle. We turn on each other
McCain’s has to be thinking now that maybe God doesn’t want him to be President.
Gopherit v2.0: My thoughts exactly. We should put Caribou Barbie on it too and tell her that it is the next Republican ticket field trip (just like Walnuts! fun time in D.C.), and that she is solving our energy crisis by helping find new sources of American oil in the Arctic Ocean. Oh, wait Caribou Barbie doesn’t need a reason, and she wouldn’t understand us speaking English anyway. Let’s just put her on the float and shove it off. Those “un-endangered” polar bears probably aren’t hungry at all…
You know, McCain is taking credit for the success of the surge and our victory in the Iraq war, so this really isn’t the shocker that it should be.
Godot: McCain’t Saved American’t!
The stench of loser is incredibly strong around McCain now and all he can say is “Pull my finger.”
btwbfdimho: CONFUSION. By the use of the double negative you are saying that he did not save something that is not the U.S.? THROW ME TO THE BEARS.
He’s like some horridly inept time traveler.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Dientes: Provided there are any ice floes left from the non-existent Global Warming that wasn’t caused by man while he was walking around with the Dinos…
I also saw that the over-zealous housing developers want a federal hand-out. Dream in one hand and shit in the other, see which gets full first. Had they focused on affordable housing rather than McMansions, they and we probably wouldn’t be slipping beneath the waves, dragged down by the stones of debt.
I think they’ve given up trying to win over voters and are now just trying to confuse the hell out of them.
“Senator Obama and his allies in Congress infused unnecessary partisanship into the process. Now is not the time to fix the blame, it’s time to fix the problem,” McCain said.
Self-contradictory statements are the new “That’s not chaaaaange you can beeeeelive in.”
2druk2phluq: Truth makes for low hanging fruit.
Monsieur Grumpe:
More like “HELP! SARAH! Stop this crazy thing!”.
Servo:
They can suck it. The worlds financial markets won’t die if they go tits up so I don’t care.
crticize her if you will but, sarah palin, has given the most lucid description of this mysterious financial crisis. no one else seems to know anything either.
Tra: Yeah, and how about the House Minority leader saying his inability to control the House republicans can be blamed on Nancy Pelosi’s speech? Iknew those assholes were WATBs at heart, but to fuck the economy to the tune of 8% of the DJIA when showing it? In a civilized society, we’d be turning every Dem and Republican who voted no into mulch. At least they’d be useful.
Texan Bulldoggette: no all should be put to pasture.
I want to hear Monica Crowley now that Gramps did NOT ride in and kick hopey’s ass as she predicted he would.
Tra: and the ever famous “HORSESHIT!”
Terry: A black jesus could come to earth and fuck him in the ass and he still wouldn’t get it.
My first act as a hobo: Git Nekked.
nyhfrog: Your child frightens me.
njdon: I instead will criticize your use of commas. Do you just throw them in there at random because it’s fun?
Getting shot down is evidently McCain’s karma. Kind of like Groundhog day, only without
Bill Murray.
AnnieGetYourFun: you’re welcome to give me a lesson.
njdon: well, you, know, that, we, must, use, the, comma, to, connect, two, sentences, that, do, not, necessarily, make, sense, sometimes. and, palin, doesn’t, know, anything, about, the, current, situation, at, all. what, the, hell, are, you, talking, about?
Maybe Scarface should cart out the chick that looks like Tina Fey. Change the subject, granny panties or thong?
Noway she shaves.
shortsshortsshorts: thank you for your critique. i will follow your example and probably get thrown off this site like you. thanks again,,,,,, great one.
nyhfrog: That’s like how my 3 year old has been telling me for months that ‘John McCain wants to kill.’ Clearly he was right - he certainly managed to help torpedo the economy. We should totally have a playdate.
My iPod also (ironically, I presume) keeps playing ‘We’re in the Money’ from 42nd Street. Weird.
AnnieGetYourFun: I’ve always considered comma usage to be somewhat akin to taking shots. One is fun but it inevitably leads to many, many,,, more which, result in improper-use-of hyphens a;nd semicolons. Much like;,,; making out with ugly-people.
Panda: Eats, shoots, and leaves
njdon: Here I am, jerky.
Please give me one reason that Sarah Palin knows anything more then jack-shit about the economy. How could you say she’s more “lucid?” Were you born from a baboons ass? Please verify the legitimacy of your statement, you troll.
Kev-O-Tron: fuck, ugly people need love too. i’ll make out with you sad sad hobo uglies
can we haz means of production now?
love, the workers of the world
debate plan? Nipple slip!!!!
tunamelt: A friend of mine told me the tragic story of walking under a bridge here in Seattle and seeing one ugly Hobo man sucking another ugly hobo man’s penis. yuk. So if you’re looking for sad ugly hobo lovin’ come to Seatown- even our hobos are randy.
Kev-O-Tron: I live in LA, I have plenty of hobos to choose from.
Tra: “I blame my political opponents for blaming their political opponents at a time when blaming political opponents is worthy of blame.”
Yeah that sounds like ol’ Johnny Mac. And of course, the MSM is not calling him on this at all.
njdon: Please enlighten us with her lucid description.
njdon: In what respect, Charlie?
You must be sniffing newly dipped fingers and getting high if you think for one moment anything Sarah Palin has to say is lucid. I make more sense drunk than she does stone cold sober. Igmo.
TJBeck: Palin’s or Biden’s?
Damn it. Where is Hopey/Changy when you need him. Did somebody tell him to STFU about this in case he actually opens his mouth, and hmmmmm,ummmm,I,that ,oh well, ummmm I would…ummmm maybe… so if I could… oh no,ummmm so why don’t we ummmmm….. fakes a decision?
SeminoleInDior: She makes more sense when you’re cross faded, though.
Kev-O-Tron: Tragic tale, indeed, sir. Gives me chills just to hear it recounted. Although, while we gorge on elitist coffee and food, they’re gorging on their own monetary commodity: hobo penis. I’d say we’re about even.
Obamanot: Ummmm, hmmmm, uhhhhh, I think you may be onto something. Or not. George Bush must be your kind of “decisive”. By the way, you wouldn’t be one of those consumers that decided to take out a mortgage you couldn’t afford, are you? I’ve noticed there’s usually a correlation between the two characteristics.
I blame the former reverence for Sarah Palin for being these ‘tards to my beloved Wonkette. Purge all the Palin posts! Don’t lure them in! Newell, my God! Make it stop!
Obamanot: It’s not your fault obamanot, just show me on the doll where Daddy touched you. we don’t want to hurt you, we are your freinds.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff, Obamanot: I beg to differ. Obamanutz, if you like abuse from anonymous strangers, if you are that type of person, you’ve come to the right place. Stick around.
Obamanot: Um, fuckball, he was on his game,/a>, as usual. My guess, your color-blindness might be interfering.
No go soeplace and fap to your hillz pics. The grown-ups are talking.
Hedley Lamar: i tend to agree, but not as ‘kharma’….more like the known instances of when trauma victims unconsciously replicate the traumatic event…
in this case a blow to a monstrous ego…
Obamanot: You broke into the wrong rec room (quote from that great movie Tremors). We like Hopey & the stuttering because it means you know, that he’s thinking before he speaks. Unlike certain other morons of your ilk….
Gopherit v2.0: Dammit. That’s what I get for getting all grumpy.
Gopherit v2.0: “Git off my lawn!!!”
Actually Nancy Pancy is such an awesome decision maker. She, bless her tiny brain, has a house full of you Democrats (and she probably has something disgusting on all of them) and she still can’t get them to pass the bill. Pass the money tree OK. Pass the bill to bail out the economy Nah. Oh wait. She did try. It is just that those unruley Democrats are trying to protect their asses for when their constituants come running with pitchforks demanding that they close up the Democrat’s pork barrel over at Fannie Mae and put that damn Franklin Raines and whathisname Johnson in JAIL. AND make Obambi, that inveterate community organizer, loved and adored by ACORN, GIVE BACK THE $250,000 HE TOOK FROM THE FANNIE MAE CROOKS
Texas. You ole sweety you. You actually got a rec room?? They didn’t foreclose on it yet? Get a grip darlin’ THIS is Wonkett. You can insult anyone. Even Democrats.
As for those of my “ILK”, you sound waaaaaay too old. And way too seeeeensitive. Suggesting you take a valium.
Ahh, to the victor go the spoils. And this one has already spoiled–it smells like rotting Salmon marinated in metamucil. Go gramps!
Obamanot: aw! what an angry little man you are! Nice job btw telling a regular where they are, wicked burn, wicked fuckin burn.
Gramp’s a gamp: an untidily bound brolly that’s prolly gonna vamp on back to the camp to tamp down the smoldering pile of burning dollars with a load of crisp, dry dollars. Plenty yankee dollar for bails in cargo. Must ship off now, be seeing you.
As someone who values (I’m a values voter!) surrealism in coverage and postings my rankings are:
1. Sarah Palin : for linking economic crisis and bailout to health care
2. Paulson : for proposing a poisonous plan and then working 24 hours a day to push a loser
3. McCain : for ditching debate and doing Mr Smith goes to Washington, only to be told FO Mr Smith
Other suggestions welcome. They must be ironic, or surreal, no shills. Sum total must equal 100% LOONBALL INDX.
M
There will be no commenting about Paulson, no second guessing, no commentary, critique or review, no raised eyebrows, no injunctions, and most of all, no backsies or do-overs.
gliberal: AAARRGHGhhhh.!
Help help help, reality intruding. Someone call Newell at the bar.
LOONBALL: INDX currently flaccid. You can do better Wonksters. That new thread be damned I tell you, damned!, out damned spot!
M
Itsjustme: Monica Crowley is so hot.
Yes, well, I have found Nancy The Cursing Trout. Must see! I found it because I made it. It’s on my blog, Mojopost.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/
DC Spring: LOONBALL: INDX
I find the pathalogical lies extremely fun:
1. McCain lies to Letterman. I mean he was in the same building for fucksake! A rookie mistake at best.And he could’ve just told Letterman, “hey i’m not doing a comedy show with the economic crisis” which is exactly what they said when they were caught.
2. Palin lies about a “broken” teleprompter a coupla weeks after the convention for no apparent reason.
whoops, i meant compulsive lies.
“For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right.”
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/confront_a_liar/public/pathological-compulsive.html
shortsshortsshorts: that was a shot at everyone. no one clearly knows the problem or the solution. my remark was,,, you know,,, snarky. are you new here? ,,,,.
markets have stabilized this morning. relax.
facehead: and SeminoleInDior: whoa, lighten up.
please refer to above comment.
you make your parents unhappy when you act like this.
njdon: You were being snarky? You must be more “lucid” next time.
shortsshortsshorts: i am rarely lucid.