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Waiter, there's a hobo's severed penis in my soup.You thought we were “joking” when we said invest in canned goods. Also, we never make jokes — who do you people think we are, John McCain? And then Campbell’s shares started to soar, and then the market collapsed in the biggest pool of blood since 1987, and guess who was left standing? Bloomberg reports: “The Standard & Poor’s 500 Index fell 8.4 percent, the most since Oct. 26, 1987, as only Campbell Soup Co. gained.” [Bloomberg]

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