Global Capitalism Fails, Ends

Well, shit. Fun while it lasted, right? Forus, anyways -- the elites who had the MacBooks and iPhones and flat-screen teevees and cars and hot water and, uh, food. Pretty much sucked for the other 5 billion, but whatever, it's all academic now. Ha, not really, because there will be no more academics. Just fighting, fighting other people (and rats, mostly) for food. And then fighting over the rats, and the rotting corpses of the people.Fun Fact: Many societies turn to cannibalism once they've hit bottom! TO RECAP: Global sell-off, stocks plummeting worldwide, the NASDAQ dropped like 5% this morning, which is kind of incredible.

The Dow's down by 290 or so. Google is under $400 a share -- that'scheapfor Google! Apple plunged, too. Looks like we're all betting that we're not going to have a lot of money for new Mac crap, eh? Same story with Google: Looks like we're betting that none of us will have money foranything.Google's an advertising company. No money means no buying means no ads. (Yikes -- that means no Wonkette, too. Well, it was fun. Sometimes.)

What about your retirement and 401k and IRA and maybe even your portfolio, if you have one? Your editor advises that you not fuck with anything right now, because you'll just fuck it up more, and you're supposed to SELL HIGH, remember? Your editor has only lost about 10% of his fortune since October, so he's doing better than the S&P 500, which is down what now, 27% over the year? In other words: Golden Ameros.

Anyway, this is a good time to leave this motel room, in Boulder City, and drive back across the Mojave Desert and listen to peoplelose their shiton Bloomberg & CNBC. It will be sad when Sirius/XM shuts down and that fancy satellite radio no longer does anything. Maybe it could be used to brain a rat.

 U.S. stocks hammered as Fed adds more liquidity; Hard-hit Nasdaq Composite down 4.5%; Google Inc. falls to two-year lows [Marketwatch]