• May 26, 2012

Bill Kristol To Save John McCain’s Campaign

by Jim Newell  12:24 pm September 29, 2008

Oooh hot dog, let’s check in with New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Billiam Kristol this Monday. Today’s edition is called, “How McCain Wins.” By being a Maverick still? Eh, more or less. That and Jeremiah Wright, the famous church demon.

Watch the man’s mind dance, just dancing dancing:

But the fact is the only Democrats to win the presidency in the past 40 years — Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton — distanced themselves from liberal orthodoxy. Obama is, by contrast, a garden-variety liberal. He also has radical associates in his past.

The most famous of these is the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, and I wonder if Obama may have inadvertently set the stage for the McCain team to reintroduce him to the American public. On Saturday, Obama criticized McCain for never using in the debate Friday night the words “middle class.” The Obama campaign even released an advertisement trumpeting McCain’s omission.

The McCain campaign might consider responding by calling attention to Chapter 14 of Obama’s eloquent memoir, “Dreams From My Father.” There Obama quotes from the brochure of Reverend Wright’s church — a passage entitled “A Disavowal of the Pursuit of Middleclassness.”

So when Biden goes on about the middle class on Thursday, Palin might ask Biden when Obama flip-flopped on Middleclassness.

Heh heh, “okay.” And we probably will see Jeremiah Wright again, and soon! But probably not as Bill.i.am has imagined it, where McCain uses Jeremiah Wright as an excuse for his not caring about the Middle Class.

How McCain Wins [NYT]

{ 52 comments }

Strappo September 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Unbelievable. This is a neocon intellectual? Shoddy reasoning, shitty examples, willful misinterpretation of everything. You’d get better sense out of a crack ho.

Mumble Softly September 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Lets not read this article and go straight to the comments section.
I for one, would rather see Palin in a low cut evening dress that accentuates here ample mammaries which were capable of raising five strong bucks.

facehead September 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I came up with a great nickname for Kristol the other day: Asshole.

columnv September 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

middleclassness! talk about a neologism!!!!!!

iz cun kul bil K now?/?

wonkthis September 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

What an imbecile. Don’t win on the merits of your policy ideas.

I bet some of the Palin coaching includes teaching her when to drop a pen and bend over to pick it up at just the right time.

JeffGoldblum September 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Am I to understand that Bill Kristol gets paid for this? Like, more than minimum wage?

Schadenfried September 29, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Can you put a picutre where he’s not trying to look gangsta? I would suggest a blignee pic, but I have to be careful what I wish for.

ManchuCandidate September 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Much like Bill’s brilliant geniuz well thought out exemplary Iraq invasion plan. So Bill, how’s that working out for you?

irisheyes September 29, 2008 at 12:34 pm

Bill.i.am. Funny.

jinmoom September 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

Honestly, how could you hate this lovable bumbling moron?

Delicious September 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=113452]columnv[/re]: ar u usin sum of that book lernin?

Electric Zen September 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

If Barack Obama had simply agreed to a series of weekly townhall debates with me, I wouldn’t be forced to run ads six hours a day of Jeremiah Wright screaming, “God Damn America!” followed by a shot of Obama laughing.

Texan Bulldoggette September 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

I expect we’ll just see continuous loops of Wright’s famous “God damn America” rant with no other content & “I’m John McCain & I approve this ad.”

facehead September 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Quote from his editorial:

” McCain picked Sarah Palin in part because she’s a talented politician and communicator. He needs to free her to use her political talents and to communicate in her own voice. “

JeffGoldblum September 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

On an unrelated note:

Have you guys seen the bumper sticker ad on the left that says “Dumb and Dumber”? HA!!!! TOPICAL!

Texan Bulldoggette September 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm

[re=113465]jinmoom[/re]: Errr….it’s actually pretty damn easy!

erymanthian bore September 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Jeremiah Wright’s rapping style reminds me of the good ole days of Adam Clayton Powell:

“It’s not BURN Baby BURN, but LEARN Baby LEARN, so you can EARN Baby EARN”

May not be much, but it got an Avenue in New York named after him. African-American preachers are SO underestimated. Float like a butterfly but sting like a bee.

Cape Clod September 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

How come Palin’s daughter’s wedding doesn’t figure in Kristol’s plan for McCain winning?

Serolf Divad September 29, 2008 at 12:44 pm

I almost wish I had once respected Kristol so that I could turn around and talk about how I’ve lost all respect for him.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm

That’s all right, Billy boy. You’re just mad because your lover at the Times sent a fucking Valentine to Walnuts. Now you know how Elizabeth Edwards must feel, bless your heart.

Min September 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm

One of these days, Bill’s brain is going to figure out what his mouth has been saying all these years and call a general strike.

CivicHoliday September 29, 2008 at 12:50 pm

How about a different term, Middleclassiness? Sort of like Truthiness, as coined by Stephen Colbert. McCain has the essence of Middleclassiness as he trumpets watching out for the average American, when in fact he has no f-ing clue what it means to have to work hard for a living and worry about paying your bills.

regisgoat September 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

Actually, I could not read this Bill Krystal editorial because my eyes were so red and swollen from crying over the plight of Dame Pegginton Noonington having to take off her shoes at the airport, splashed in the editorial page of the WSJ with a picture of Miss Liberty plastic bucketing her sandals, torch and corona for the humiliation of airport inspection. It was a drawing only “Kelly” from the Onion could match.

Sussemilch September 29, 2008 at 12:55 pm
oy vey September 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm

the next Kristol column will counsel McCain to have Halliburton operatives disguised as Iranians kidnap Track Palin to create a fake “hostage crisis” requiring “response” by a “firm, experienced hand.”

shortsshortsshorts September 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm

We’re all middleclassness now.

Miller September 29, 2008 at 12:59 pm

I wish more conservatives would listen to Bill Kristol. If they did I bet we would have had at least one class uprising replete with guillotining of conservative elites on the National Mall. That would have been a fun week.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

populucious September 29, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Stupid Obama, trying to win the debate by caring about the middle class, when everyone knows the middle class are total losers. John McCain would never be so stupid as to admit to wanting to help the middle class, cuz Jammakan is a WINNER, and winners don’t help losers.

Masorca September 29, 2008 at 1:01 pm

While not to take anything away from BK’s douchebaggery, did anyone else see John Fund (WSJ) on Bill Maher? Now that is one reptilian ass-hat.

HuskyMescan September 29, 2008 at 1:01 pm

So MoDo gets barred from McCain plane.

http://oxdown.firedoglake.com/diary/288

Imagine if Obama banned a FoxNews reporter. The media would call him black Hitler and the polls would drop -1000%.

DangerousLiberal September 29, 2008 at 1:03 pm

“Obama is, by contrast, a garden-variety liberal.”

And Bill Kristol is a garden-variety, neocon jackass with radical rightwinger friends. And not a few who are in or will be in jail. Asshole.

Did you know that the NYT once held a contest for a slogan, and the winner was something like “all the news, but won’t soil the breakfast linen?” Not as catchy as “all the news that’s printed to fit.” And now that Bill Kristol is writing for the Times, one can expect the breakfast linen (or the car seat onto which you tossed your Egg McMuffin wrapper, if you like) to be vigorously shat upon several times a week.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Oh, hahahahahahahha! Right, right, Kristol. You guys are going to bring up old Reverend Wright again. Sure, go right ahead and threaten away with your Jeremiah Wright threats. No, go right ahead. Please, I insist. Because Sarah Palin has a church of her own, and I’m just dying for a legitimate excuse for team Obama to give America a little closer look.

Scarab September 29, 2008 at 1:10 pm

McCain should take this advice. When has Kristol been wrong about anything?

Canuckledragger September 29, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Billy The K. just got his words mixed up again, because like me, he suffers from lysdexia.

What he meant to say is, “I’m a classless middle-brow example of Republican loser.”

Billy The K. wants to outlaw all classes and have them replaced by castes. Birth is destiny, blah blah blah.

In his system, like Van Halen’s, brown M&Ms are “untouchables.” If you want to move up the food-chain, it requires reincarnation, because in his world, upward mobility ain’t possible in THIS life.

Anita Cocktail September 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm

[re=113541]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: “oo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang”

facehead September 29, 2008 at 1:21 pm

[re=113553]Scarab[/re]: Seriously, couldn’t the Times have found a token right winger who wasn’t so mysteriously and hugely wrong all the time?

Come to think of it, “Token” isn’t a bad nickname for Kristol.

ihasasad September 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm

I’ll I’m hearin is Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin’s “Pew Pew!” gun sound impression.

jjgittes September 29, 2008 at 1:24 pm

[re=113446]Strappo[/re]: You mean they aren’t one and the same? Damn.

ZING!

Anyway, Opposite Day Kristol says McCain can win.

Time for celebrating in the streets! McCain’s Republicans will be greeted as liberators!

Anonymous Office Zombie September 29, 2008 at 1:25 pm

[re=113561]Anita Cocktail[/re]: My beyond awesome fantasy scenario for Thursday’s debate – Palin loses her shit to the point of panic and slips into crazytime speaking-in-tongues mode.

“What are my views on Nucl-ee-ar prolifermalation? Well, aaahh… ummmm… BLARGALO-ZINGALA-KOMOCHEE-ZABADABA-DING-DONG!”

Mr. Herpes September 29, 2008 at 1:27 pm

This is like watching Tom Landry send in the plays back in the good ol’ days. Kristol to McCain….go deep with some Rev. Wright “God damn America stuff” and keep it coming. P.S. Keep looking for that Michelle Obama I’m finally proud ” tape.

Wugou September 29, 2008 at 1:43 pm

Why are conservative pundits so inherently douchey? Kristol, Krauthammer and Hannity just to name a few. Someone should do some science on this.

Outstando September 29, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Kristol really is the George W. Bush of columnists: Prodigal son, born on third base and thinks he hit a triple. Except that Kristol doesn’t have any actual responsibilities to royally fuck up.

TexasCowGirl September 29, 2008 at 1:53 pm

[re=113541]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Word. Wait until all of those straight laced folks in the Midwest see Sarah Palin have demons and witches cast out by that crazy preacher from Kenya. HA!

Also this is the same fool that told McCain to pick Sarah Palin for his running mate. If McCain has any sense left, and that’s a big if, he wouldn’t listen to another word that this idiot has to say about anything. He’s helped quite enough.

Sean O September 29, 2008 at 1:54 pm

I don’t mean to be That Guy, and I know we’re in the middle of an election, but i’m noticing more partisan outrage than snarkiness here. We need more funny.

(I realize this post isn’t funny)

Outstando September 29, 2008 at 2:02 pm

And we all know that October is going to be a klan rally on its best behavior. Michigan and Pennsylvania airwaves are going to be a toxic stew of racial prejudice, religious innuendo and allegations of traitorous inclinations.

Though Barry just needs to show up with a map of Baluchistan and spend 20 minutes talking about how to track down, capture and kill Osama and he’s fine. I honestly think that’s why he won the debate–he made it clear he wants to goink the motherfucker, and some people needed to hear that. Think about what it means to be undecided in this race (WTF?), and all those stats you hear about Americans not being able to find their own house or know what day it is. There are lots of racists out there, but they’ll never vote for Barry. The voters who matter are hazy and doubtful on the Muslim/traitor bullshit the GOP’s slinging more than they are racist.

S.Luggo September 29, 2008 at 2:21 pm

“Every minute she spends not telling the American people about how she can see Mordor from a careening snowmobile, that she boobie fed Track until he went back into rehab, or that Obama would nationalize Fantasy Football is a minute off the tanning bed.”

Merry Christen September 29, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=113581]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This elitist librul just spit-taked and decent Chardonnay is now running down the screen of my laptop… I love having a front row seat for the Apocalypse, don’t you?

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Bill Kristol’s advice for McCain should he be behind in the last week of the campaign. Strap dynamite on yourself and stand on the capitol steps threating to blow everyone up if they don’t vote for you.

S.Luggo September 29, 2008 at 3:05 pm

I’d walk to Castle Gandolpho on my knees to get Governor Bimbette to take Billy “lightning rodz” Kristol’s advice and accuse Barry of ‘flipperty-flopping’ about the Middle Class, i.e. that now BHO’s supports helping the middle class, but before he was agin’ it.
*****
http://blog.vdare.com/archives/2008/05/05/what-obama-wrote-about-wright-in-1995/
[from: “Dreams From My Father”]
— There was one particular passage in Trinity’s brochure that stood out, though, a commandment more self-conscious in its tone, requiring greater elaboration. “A Disavowal of the Pursuit of Middleclassness,” the heading read. “While it is permissible to chase ‘middleincomeness’ with all our might,” the text stated, those blessed with the talent or good fortune to achieve success in the American mainstream must avoid the “psychological entrapment of Black ‘middleclassness’ that hypnotizes the successful brother or sister into believing they are better than the rest and teaches them to think in terms of ‘we’ and ‘they’ instead of ‘US’!” —
***
Se also:
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ZjM5NWJhNmI4MTdjODJiOTQxYmZhZGNkOTRjODg3ODc=
Against Middleclassness?

HuddledMass September 29, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=113680]Sean O[/re]: Yeah! Where’s my US Recommended Daily Allowance of snark! I can do my own vituperative, incisive and insightful political analysis but I’m pitifully dependent on you all to BRING TEH FUNNY!

Don’t make me beg (return to lurk mode]

LeastValuablePlayer September 29, 2008 at 4:08 pm

I would say that this cartoon pretty much sums up McCain’s campaign thus far:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjomYMe6t_U

Good luck getting it back on track.

iolanthe September 30, 2008 at 12:47 am

Bill Kristol has never been right about anything, ever.

Apparently, he plans on continuing his streak.

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