What The Poo Was This Debate About? Liveblog, Part IV

Uhh, that's your terrible & presiding president, "George," with the sparkles. What's his importance tonight. No one knows. No one knows why George Bush isn't LOCKING THIS CRAP UP for Barry Obama. Who won this debate? Let's see what the teevee pundits say, on CNN. Once it ends which will be never.

10: 34 -- Uh, they're still talking? Barack Obama wants to be the next not George W. Bush.

10: 34 -- McCain, being a cock. "Barack Obama does not have the knowledge or experience to win the Iraq. The Surge, he was wrong." Nah, he wasn't. And if this election is decided by THE SURGE then everyone should just inter themselves, into hell.

10: 35 -- Obama: "My dad was from Kenya, which is where I got my name." Ah, so Al Qaeda was based in Kenya. Who knew! Go Amin!!!1!

10: 37 -- DRINK 9 DRINKS AND HAVE 40 VICODIN, John McCain just talked about when he "got back from prison." He was in jail? Did he rape a wombat?

10: 39 -- OVER!! McCain says, "good job John," and then cuts his tendons.

10: 40 -- Alright, we're watching CNN. Who won? Someone please answer, because we were not even conscious and have to write a liveblog.

10: 41 -- People basically say, "eh, some people did their thing and other people did theirs."

10: 43 -- No one has any idea who fucking won. Alan Keyes. Alan Keyes won the debate.

10: 43 -- Oh ho, now we go to the "Partisans' Panel." Meaning Wolf Blitzer asks a bunch of party hacks what they think. Oh look at that, Bill Bennett thought McCain won. Hmm!

10: 45 -- Just turned on MSNBC and all I see is some map showing viewers in like Madagascar. Hooray! MSNBC is poop. OH AND NOW they have commercials too. Oh crap, T. Boone Pickens. Why do we have to watch him now? WHERE IS CHUCKY TODD. Wants to c his man boobsz.

10: 48 -- No one knows what happened. So! I am ending this. Ken may or may not take over. OPEN THREAD until then. Go out and play with your friends, is my recommendation.

DUDES: Your Wonkette will be at Finn McCool's in D.C. (8th Street SE) in like 15 minutes (11:30). We don't expect any of you douches to show, but if you want, look for the asshole with the red hair. LATER. Gonna get me some fish 'n' chips.