Wonkette
Jim Lehrer, you garish little Skittle whore! What kind of jacket is THAT? Slut slut slut Jim Lehrer is a slut. Oh god this debate is boring, we realized during our last moment of clarity. Time to open the Schlitz! Huh? Who are you people anyway. (Pre-blog & Part 1).
9:30 — “I saved the taxpayers 6 million dollars on a contract between Boeing and…” Oh right, you mean that fight you picked up because your favorite lobbyist friends asked for it. But oh! What do we know. We were in high school or whatever. John McCain was still in Vietnam when he did this.
9:31 — Obama: “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh insurance $15 billion dollars, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, George W. Bush is, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, $20 billion dollars and a fried Scottish terrier.”
9:32 — Lehrer: “One of you all will be president in January.” Candidates: “MMHMM MMHMM.”
9:33 — OH MY GOD JOHN MCCAIN IS OFF HIS METAMUCIL AIDS PILLS AGAIN: He wants to have a “spending freeze,” um, “temporarily,” for all items that aren’t defense or veterans’ care. WHAA? Obama lists two of the 8,000 million trillion reasons why this is not actual a policy at all ever. “Medicare,” for example.
9:34 — Ha ha, fuckin’ Lehrer is condescending to these two so much. Every question has been, “please answer the first question I asked in this debate?”
9:37 — **DING DING DING DRUDGE SIREN DING** Barack Obama says the word “orgy.” Orgy of “spending.”
9:38 — **DING DING DING DRUDGE SIREN DING DING PART II: Barack Obama follows his orgy statement with “you swallow it.” Jesus fuck. He is going to teach sex-ed to at least uh 100 million kindergartners (Caucasian) in one hour.
9:39 — Oh look, they are going to talk about foreign policy now, 40 minutes into the foreign policy debate. Whazza we got goin’ over there, in the foreign countries? Iraq? That still going on? Meh. Tell me about Chris Dodd microprovisions a little more.
9:39 — How do you feel about the lessons of Iraq, John McCain?
9:40 — “Someone else who agreed with everything I said fucked up. I, uh, passed difficult legislation. Know?
9:41 — How do you feel about the lessons of Iraq, John McCain?
9:42 — “Nah nah, man, Lehrer, Iraq. Iraq! Iraq. Nah nah, Lehrer. I’ve been called worse things on the basketball court. Wait, what?”
9:43 — Obama’s faces are priceless whenever McCain starts throwing out bullshit. It’s a tight, lip-sucking sarcasm smile, a la “Jim” from the Office. Stare into the camera with a “WHAAA?”
9:44 — McCain’s face, meanwhile, says, “I WANT TO SUCKLE THE FLESH OF A VIRGIN PUPPY.”
9:45 — Obama lists a number of things John McCain got wrong in 2002-03 about war in Iraq war Congress blah… who remembers back then? I got a new iPod last week though!
9:47 — McCain: Barack Obama visited Iraq -40 times and literally ate three Marines through his anus. And then he voted against the moneys.
9:49 — OH MY GOD ROB. My fucking roommate, “Rob,” just dropped a 40 of Schlitz on the kitchen floor and it broke. SMASHED. Everyone say, “die Rob,” right now. DIE ROB! And now we have to split this Steel Reserve.
9:50 — Gawd. Can someone tell a joke? Isn’t McCain known for that, his “funnies”? Tell one of those things about bestiality rape. Oh god Rob is still cleaning up the glass. Barack Obama is such a downer about Iraq! What did Iraq ever do to him.
9:51 — THIS IS SO BOOOOORIRIRNGNGNGNGNG. Perhaps Barry just wants a stalemate. That would make sense. Stalemate. I hope Rob gets glass in his feet.
9:53 — Poppy fields are growing in Afghanistan, Barry says. Silly Barry. Doesn’t he know that most people don’t make the connection between poppy and terrible drugs? Poppy is a nice salad dressing seed!
9:54 — Walnuts: “we need to rebuild the Marriott in Islamabad.” We need to *help* the bad Islam town?
9:55 — Obama says, if them Pakistani bitchcunts be actin up, we gots to “TAKE ‘EM OUT.” Whoa hey what who are you whoa hey.
9:56 — Oh god Ken needs to take over REALLY SOON.
9:57 — HAHAHAHA, Obama brings up “Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran.” First time ever! What?
9:58 — McCain: when I came to the Congresses in 1983, I had no pants. Now I haz pants. Now I bomb Kosovo. Now I have a record. Pakistan. Barack Obama knows none of these things. I now have pants. I just pooped all over them.
9:59 — McCain: “I knew some guy who died last year.” Oh is he crying? Oh god he’s crying.
10:00 — HAHAHA Obama: “I knew some guy who died last year too.” But he doesn’t cry because he’s an adult.
10:00 — Alright, Ken’s turn, thank God! Ken is the president of Mojave Desertz tee hee. GO HERE.
I volunteer to scrub the Navy!
Holy crap. That is a blinged out jacket. I want one.
Wasn’t this meant to be a foreign policy debate?
I worked with James Coburn to take out secret terror network Fabulous Face.
Ha ha ha no new money for you bridges over the Mississippi River!
scalpal/hatchet. Nice, Mr. Senator.
SPENDING FREEZE??? OH MY GOD HE SO WANTS THE DEPRESSION BACK
Spending freeze on everything but killing people! Cool!
“The problem with a spending freeze is that you’re using a hatchet when you should be using a scalpel.” Yaaay!
What in the hell is wrong with spending 10 billion a month in Iraq?
45 new nuke plants? I’m moving.
Pleeeeze can we kill the Blingee?
hey! where’d everybody go?
joh mccain = senator clinton? listen up, bitters.
Walnuts just dragged Hillary into this!
I think Jim Lehrer is a marionette. Besides the doll eyes, he has creepy little hands.
Obama is saying uh… a lot less. Very crisp. And that liberal = opposing George Bush? GOLD!!!
I’m in favor of storing spent nuclear fuel and I’m in favor of taking away Nevada’s 5 electoral votes. Vote John McCain!
use a hatchett on the war, WALNUTS!
“Senator, your opponent is right there. Why don’t you look at him? Why don’t you tell him what you think? Why don’t you do over and pat him on the shoulder? Senator, why don’t you give him a big manly hug and stick your tongue down his throat?”
Bert and I reference! Chug Clamato!
When will they talk about Trig?
RULE the country??? Uh, Jim, Barry isn’t King yet.
Roosevelt had a whole bunch of homes! With RAMPS, because he wuz in a wheelchair!
DRILL! FREEZE! DRILL! FREEZE!
…WALNUTS! is running off of a script. If Barry keeps the pressure up he will make him slip!
McCain is fine with those nuke plants going in the yards of his seven houses, correct?
hatchet for scalpel. nice.
“Effect how you *rule* the country”?!? What the hell Lehrer. I’m looking for a president…
…or did he just let the cat out of the bag.
(Cue scary music)
Newell has a new toy. He will enter rehab soon. Blingeeholics. Sheesh.
Barry’s Debate Coach: “Just pretend he’s Alan Keyes in his underwear, you’ll do fine.”
Walnuts head looks like a zit about to blow, except when he gives the death grin, then he’s a carnivorous zit
…damn it, take a time out! I need to hit the fridge for some more booze damn it!!!
McCain: blink, blink, blink, blink, blink. Blink.
Barry scores points when he challenges McBoob to his face and not to camera/audience.
McCain is clueless abt. health care.
Yeah, the government got its money back during the Depression — after fifteen years. Which is two lifetimes in presidential election cycles.
Haha. McCain wants the families to confer with their deceased regarding health care.
OK, look, this is boring. You’re right. I’m gonna look at porn.
Jim Lehrer can taste colors, man.
Time for a “there you go again” response.
Ken Layne: You have to love that Lehrer goaded McCain into that. McCain can’t stand a vacuum.
So, was the lack of post this afternoon so you all could do all the Blingee art?
The spending freeze idea is both obviously irresponsible and also obviously disingenuous. Does it matter to McCain that he is likely to piss off everyone with that line?
foreign policy debate, eh?
they meant fo’ reignin’ policed rebate
bitchincamaro: …a nuclear power plant in every pot!
We owe China 500 billion dollars???
HOW ABOUT IRELAND???????????????????
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I am protesting being thrown off
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AngryBlakGuy: You didn’t put a fridge next to your La-Z-Boy? That’s the first thing I did with my stimulus check.
here comes the W smack down
Yay. Orgy!
orgy of spending!
Walnuts just confused millions will billions! I think we have to adopt the English system of referring to billion as thousand million. And the English system of referring to girls as birds.
So trusting the Fed to bail out Wall Street = GOOD. Trusting the Fed to bail out health care = BAD. WTF, McPain?
Finally, Walnuts. Orgy of spending! Bush!!
90% of the time brought a teeny smirk of pain
…did Barry just say “Orgy”?
Orgy of spending! Tell em! I’m so mad (read: drunk) I can’t!
Obama just said that Walnuts likes orgies! That’s the spirit.
Oh, McCain’s right — high taxes are the cause of this subprime mortgage crisis. How come more people don’t realize he’s the man to fix the economy?
So McCain’s definition of lower taxes is taxing my health insurance as income? Tell me more!
ugh. mccain is just yakking about repube talking points. “he’ll raise yr taxes! he’ll do this! he’s black! usa!”
AngryBlakGuy: That is why I love the Tivo.
90% Walnuts!
Ken Layne: Yup, that’s exactly what it looks like. I expect that he will next ask us to go back on the gold standard and return to the pre-war exchange rate, because he hates the economy just that much.
Spending freeze on everything except for War and the Valium for the old soldiers in the Veterans Hospital. Goddamit, lets just go ahead and declare martial law.
I think that jacket is sending some kind of signal.
John McCain is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
~
MAVERICK!
DRINK DRINK DRINK!!!!!
AGAIN?? Miss Congeniality? Meet ya’ in the bathroom, Mr. Maverick.
Orgy?
Uh oh. There goes the conservative vote that he didn’t have.
Uh oh. That Ms. Congeniality thing again. I think that’s
a Freudian/passive aggressive thing.
MAVERICK - in what respect?
Its the Pottery Barn principle of voting, John. You voted for it, you own it.
Response: “But I got Palin now.”
“a partner”? awww, lieberman is his partner now. ooh la di dah!
…lessons of Vietnam = FIVE AND HALF YEARS ALAN!!!
I can’t tell, does this debate make no sense, or am I just drunk?
and his “partner” WAS Miss Congeniality. Or….was she?
Tee-hee. He has an old pen, but a long record.
Barry smacks down McCain on budget. His response? I was not elected Miss Congeniality.
I just was thinking Obama should call him on who has been in power, and he did. Oooh, I’m mind linked to Obama.
McCain is starting to sputter.
YES, WALNUT!!! WE KNOW YOU WEREN’T ELECTED MISS CONGENIALITY!!! YOU MENTIONED IT ALREADY!!!!
How much Vodka is too much….?
come on obama!! kick this mcsame’s ass
“The lesson of Iraq is that I fixed it!”, says McCain.
Lessons of Iraq “you can’t have a failed strategy that will make you nearly lose a conflict” Really? what is the definition of “failed strategy”, John?
Vietnam redux
So, wait- is McCain running for Miss Congeniality? That’s what I’m getting out of this.
BO has to bring up that Petraeus doesn’t allow the “we’re winning” talk. Make him make him make him.
Did McCain REALLY just use the Miss Congeniality line uh-GAIN?
“I think the lesson of Iraq is that you cannot have a failed strategy that then causes you to lose. I also believe that tautologies are tautologies too.”
Senator Cranky McCombOver reminds us all that he’s been cutting spending since the dinosaurs — way to remind us that Walnuts is older the dirt!
Newell - you damn flashy pictures are giving me brain tumors.
new drinking game…Miss Congeniality.,..DRINK MOFOS
“The lessons of Iraq are very clear — you cannot have a failed strategy…”
Wow. That whirring sound is Clausewitz spinning in his grave.
Ken Layne: Cindy heard that and just served Walnuts with an “I don’t think so”
…has anyone else noticed the whistle that WALNUTS! has at the end of all of his words?
All three of these guys have black eyes.
Oh our buddies in Reno are running a great liveblog, too: Reno Style.
“I went to Iraq, and met with Nebuchadnezzar and Schabuchadnezzar and we agreed that to smote the Persians and Hittites was a glorious work in the eyes of Ba-al.”
come o-bama, do not let this guy hijack the debate with irak talk
McCain seems tired. Must have had a rough week, poor baby.
Hippie chick wants to fuck (after only 8 shots)
end of debate
outtahere
“surge” is coming. get ready to hold your urine people.
soytrucknutz: I spent my stimulus check on a handjob in Chinatown. I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known that the government would be ass-raping me for free a few months later.
Good God, McCain referred to himself as a “maverick,” and then tied himself to Ms. I Can See Russia, who is also a maverick.
Y’all think Barack is gorgeous. You wanna date him.
“We will come home when we have won other wars and not in defeat.”
Like I did. Not that I’m bitter.
…DAMN! Barry with all the Iraq statistics!
Walnuts needs to eat his vegetables. (My wife said that)
Yuppie: Nor for the last time, I’ll wager.
Barry: Nail McSleepy with this! In his face!
Swallow at an orgy? ReallY?
These Iraqis, they have some sort of surplus? Perhaps they could bail out our banks?
Barry is making sharp points but in a low key style. SHOUT IT.
Broccoli!!!!
Is taking your eye off the ball a pool reference or a baseball reference?
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Barry: “The lesson is to not hesitate on using military force/”
Palin used to give Rush a “surge”
Barry is smirking. Bad.
…I wish they setup a green background behind WALNUTS!
Good. Obama acknowledged our Chinese overlords.
The Mattress Police: you’re drunk.
McCain’s smirk is driving me insane. I can’t take it.
Oh, McCain’s great — let’s not argue about who got us into this Iraqi shithole to begin with — let’s argue about piddly shit.
Walnuts raised Petrus
Inside Senate baseball… nice.
Tactical error - Barry brings us baseball.
Was the spending freeze thing completely pulled out of his ass or what?
Texas2Step: none! i mean, all! i mean, never too much!
Yes! he was wrong!
Yuppie: Old peeps with dementia do that.
ok…here we go. You like to pretend the war started in 2007!
Quick and easy, like your womenfolk, John.
Ken Layne: …is Ken Layne trying to get us to leave? Kinda like when you have a party and you aren’t sure how to kick the last 3 or 4 people out at the end of the night.
Barry, dude, luv ya. He just ripped McCain a new one on Iraq. “you were wrong”
I’m already insane so it doesn’t bother me at all.
____________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Two fourths of July ago = 1/2 of july ago
Johnny-Mac doesn’t want to send money to countries that hate us… shit, I guess we have to buy our oil from the Brits…
what position does walnuts play in the inside baseball game?
…please explain the difference between a “tactic” and a “strategy” you dumb fukk.
Damn. McCain coulda anticipated Barry’s talking points here if he had watched last weekend’s 60 Minutes. Oh, wait…
WALNUTS!!!!!1! The War started in ‘07 and Walnuts!!!!11 is honored!
I know a few folks who were in Iraq and they’re kinda like “umm fuck that”
OH MY GOD I HATE THEM BOTH!
Isn’t that a line from Rambo…Are they gonna let us win?
Barry HAS to call BS!
Yeah, Obama knows the difference between a tactic and a strategy. Unlike Bush, who doesn’t know the difference between a tactic and a tic-tac.
McCain is insane. I can’t take it
john sounds so sweet talking about war. its like a lullaby
I was worried about tonight. But damn, Barry makes me PROUD to have switched from Democrat to Republican back to Democrat.
McCain sounds like a priest now.
Patreus, McCain and Grahme had a three-way?
No you stupid sh!t, they re-enlisted because their buddies were there, NOT for f***ing “Iraqi Freedom.”
So McCain wants to win in Iraq but the next president isn’t going to have to worry about winning in Iraq.
Hey. What IS the difference between a strategy and a tactic? W is so over my head and elitist.
Fuck. His. Shit. Up!!! Hopey!!!!! Inside baseball. Boo Yah!!!
Walnuts is winning
Barry had him on the ropes. Punch: You were wrong! Punch: you were wrong! Punch You were wrong!
Oh god — McCain’s doing the re-enlistement ceremony bullshit.
“Let us win?!” Uh — what’s holding you back?
And no we’re not winning in Iraq. The Kurds are doing pretty well though. And the Shi’ites.
The Iraqis killed enough of eachother for the war to succeed. We have nothing to fucking do with it. BLAH.
obama is losing on the foreign policy. come on obama give an uppercut!!
Obama calls McCain “John,” but McCain calls Obama “Senator Obama.” Subtle.
graceless:
No. Walnuts gave birth to Patrus!
John is not here to debate.
He is here to tell old man stories about 4th of July and wars.
The troops just want to fight. Why won’t Barack just let them stay and fight?!?!
Barry is being a professor
d4g33z: YEAH, IT’S MAKING MY THIRD BOTTLE OF WINE LOOK LIKE AN EX-BEAUTY QUEEN BEER HEIRESS
YES! Barry cuts McCain off!
“I do understand the difference between a strategy and a tactic, you twit.”
thwanger: ain’t it the truth.
Sounds like somebody can’t see China from his house.
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I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
jokerontheleft: Switch hitter. Badda bing!
Barry is preaching now… in a good way.
Barry is burying the lead. Iraq has a surplus. We are paying for the war. And we are going further into debt for this fucking war. Goddamit, BO, take this fuckers knees out.
OK, now Barry is winning
barry goes into tooo much detail about the inner dealings of senatorial politics. that won’t play well with the bitters.
jokerontheleft: astroturf
CNN’s “audience reaction” ticker is literally as predictably as watching Sarah Palin inevitably bomb every single interview question that doesn’t directly involve lipstick, hockey, or earmark reform.
Sixteen months…. time enough for Palin to spit out two more babies.
…talk over him damn it Barry!
HOLY SHIT! McCain is taking policy advice from Bin Ladin!!!!!!!!
“surge” “snatch”
Gen Petraeus and Osama Bin Laden have one thing in common. THAT YOU KNOW OF!
Explectations!
Whew, Jim changes the subject. Wait, he doesn’t.
NotLaughing: Stop being not funny and you can come back.
druranium: Yeah, McCain sure isn’t playing down the age thing is he? “I knew Grorge Washington, and you sir are no George Washington!”
The bad news, my fellow Wanketteers, is that McCain is defining Obama, and Obama is not returning teh favor. MCCain has him on the defensive.
Ignore him completely on start defining McCain, Barak.
Ah shit. Newell is using the tag? that is serious old school.
True that — Afghanistan is now more deadly for troops per capita than Iraq.
I think the debate’s a draw. I don’t know. I need a drink. Tell me it’s going to be ok, Barry’s going to be the Prez, and I won’t have to move to Amsterdam…
I liked when he said strategic in a bitchy way and looked at walnuts…it was hawt
come on, let’s talk about afghanistan. iraq is a failure!! yes the surge succeded. let’s move on to something else please! i can’t take this anymore…
Do you hear that Afghanistan?????
READ EM AND WEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Palin is watching this going, Gates? Pakistan? Petreus? How am I gunna keep this shit straight?
SayItWithWookies: We’re losing in Iraq? Why are the soldiers in the tank for Big Obama??
Dumb it down, Barry…dumb it down. We need a money quote just about now.
“John, you won’t even go into the cave Bin Ladin is in. You PUSSY!”
POK-E-STON sounds like POK-E-MON, Barry.
The Neoskeptic: Whoa. Get off my grille, big guy….
Taliban bad, poppies good.
No more explaining Barry. Take it back to McSlumpy!
Barry said POPPIES. POPPIES, sleep, sleep, you are getting sleepy….
Dorothy! Wake Up!
HUZZAH McCain has seen “Charlie Wilson’s War”
DIE ROB YOU ELITIST ARUGULA FARMER!
Oh, Secretary Gates is lucky there’s only a few more months left — otherwise he’d be Shalikashvilied.
Hey Mr. Tallyban, Tally me bananas.
I am only getting this glorious event via radio, so I appreciate the descripions. I hope that y’all will mention if death-rays shoot out of McCain’s eyes, or steam from his ears or anything similarly amusing.
Yeah, I’m on dial-up in my little Unabomber cabin in the mountains. I didn’t want to take any chances in case McCain starts a war with the Ruskies tonight. I know that Sarah isn’t in Alaska to keep an eye on any head-rearing that front.
Obama needs to hit on Walnuts support of Bush’s policies . . . tar him!
I’m waiting for Lehrer to ask McCain about the Strawberries.
TALIBAN!!!!!!1!
ALLLAH!
DIRKA DIRKA!
Barry, please stop enunciating them A-rabb words so carefully. They already think you’re a musim.
i’m crushing pus heads head. i’m crushing his head.
Dear Barry: No one knows what “poppy” is. Say “smack” “the big O” or some variant.
George Schultz was a great sec state? Hmmmm…..
In Warshington, McCain’s gonna to warsh that man right outta his hair.
Roommate…sounds gay.
McCain won’t repeat the mistake of abandoning Afghanistan?! How many times?!
You don’t say things out loud… if ya have to do things, ya have to do things.
Is that a strategy or a tactic?
I like that McCain called bin Laden a ‘freedom fighter’ - is bin Laden in the tank for him?
Ha ha, McCain would only secretly attack Pakistan, Obama you’re so dumb because you’d only announce that you were shooting your fellow half breed Muslins!
wow. wow. “the new president of pakistan has got his hands full.” wow. fantastic insight, john.
“You don’t say that out load! You torture them in private. Geesh!”
I love the way Obama says “Tolly Bahn”
Hope you like glass in your beer Rob.
“you don’t say that out loud?” HE JUST SAID THAT OUT LOUD.
simetrias: Ha ha!
You don’t say that aout loud? Like “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.”?
1,000,000 B.C - The McCain Years
Tollybon
Walnuts: best avoid namechecking people like Alexander the Great.
You can’t say that out loud?
INTERMARRIAGE????THAT IS DETHPICKABLE!!!
_______________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
WALNUTS! you old jerk. You say our diddling in Afghanistan during the Cold War led to the trouble we have in the region now. Yes, that is true, and I’m assuming you’re referring to things like training Osama Bin Laden to fight the commies. So, why not LEARN the lesson that our foreign policy affects our safety and that the Iraq war has made us LESS SECURE?
McCain is showing his lower teeth, meaning he’s pissed. Good. Throw that fookin’ Sharpie.
Newell is using the blink tag. Way old school.
Was that just and Al Qaeda/Taliban gay joke from McCain?
…hehehe, what a shit bag. “You dont say that out loud…”, then wouldn’t that mean you shouldn’t DENY IT OUT LOUD like you did either?
Alexander the Great??? i thought the Eisenhower refernce dated him…was he Colin Ferrel’s military advisory?
mccain just scored big points: “we don’t do that… we don’t say that.. we just do it”
Since I’m anti death penalty, I’ll just say “Maim Rob!” Good enough?
Walnuts has hands from special effects.
SayItWithWookies: only the next 3 or 4 times. that’s it. he promised alexander the great.
When McCain went to Waziristan, he got language shots, like in Burroughs’ CITIES OF THE RED NIGHT.
G-ddam Jim won’t old Beardy pay for the good stuff?
Barry pronounces Pakistan like a frickin’ Muslim.
McCain’s not senile — listening to him talk about Afghanistan — well, he’s just an idiot.
oh snap! bomb bomb bomb iran!
Barry - you are still on the defensive. Less “Here’s what I said.” and more “Dude, you are so out of touch!”
Bomb Bomb Bomb
tali-PLAN?
“I know how to work with them.” “I know how to do this.” Explain.
…uh-oh, another bitch slap!!! Keep it up Barry!
Yeah, “songs about Iran” ,bitch
“You sang songs about bombing Iran”!
PWNED
bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran ZINGER!
SayItWithWookies: If McCain wants to look at history, no country has ever maintained a successful occupation if Afghanistan since Alexander the great.
Them walnuts are working overtime on Walnut’s head. I think he’s about to lose it.
Barry called him out! Say it to my face bitch!
oh, go obama: you just answered mcsame. nice!!!!
BITCH. SLAP. SNAP. you go Obama!!
Bombbomb iran! yes barry baby!
HA HA Barry made fun of him for singing bomb bomb iran and mccain looked down and did that sheepish eye squint. (The roaches are about to explode out of his ears)
Damn it. I didn’t have that Obama would be the first to mention “Bomb Iran” in the pool. What a fool am I.
Finally, a sharp elbow from Barry, with the bomb Iran line.
Coddling Musharraf. Ewww…
Calling McCain by his first name is irritating him, I’ll bet.
And Barack, don’t keep saying “Senator McCain is right.” Just repeat the phrase you want to use without attribution. Less politeness, more aggression, please.
gah…reagannnnnnnnnn
Ronald Reagan! DRINK!!!!!
Obaby is getting bitchy. Me likey.
Pop Socket: Worse - when he says Taliban I hear “tally me banana”
There’s the Ronald Reagan reference.
_________________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Than we had Somali…we had the first Gulf War.
I supported I supported I supported
Since foreign policy is McCain’s supposed forte a draw would be a win for Barry. McCain has to come across as more able, not *as* able, to win.
McCain Wins Debate!!!
…screw this, I’m hitting the fridge.
Pop Socket: It’s hot. Don’t deny it.
mcsame is definitely winning!!
McCain: “I was right about wars 20 years ago! Please ignore all musical numbers since then.”
Anyone else watching the EKG flatlining at the bottom of the screen?
Nuts is getting confused. Barry’s punches are starting to work.
Walnuts keeps saying “What Sen Obama doesn’t understand.”
Barry has to say that back. “What McCain can’t hear, understand, or repeat in 30 seconds is…”
McCain: “I supported the Crimean War. I was there. I know.”
can we haz noo thread?
McCain — Pakistan was a failed state when Musharraf “came to power.” What?! It was a functioning democracy. Other than that — yeah, it was a failed state.
Now, let’s break for some more war stories from McWarPrisoner.
I”m with you Jim…this is booooooring. Except that crack about the bomb Iran song…ha, snap!
I wish there was some sort of graphic tie-in to McCain’s blood pressure flowing along the bottom of the screen.
220 over 110
230 over 115
235 over 118
STROKE OUT
he has a record all right. a medical record the size of a couch.
Cue strings [bracelet cue]
Bets: how long before we get to the prision cell in Vietnam??
Only bitches wear bracelets
And I support Bombing Iran while listening to the Beach Boys!
He said “Reagan”. Drink up Shriners!
Somalia? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
I was less than a year old when Mcain began his corrupt career in politics. That gives me hope that one day I can become a corrupt cancer faced political douche bag.
August a year ago???
all these fuuucking stoooorries…
By talking about Reagan and Lebanon, McCain is basically saying how old he is.
Oh, good, McCain wears a retarded livestrong bracelet. NEVER FORGET!
mcsame: i will wear his bracelet with honor… use the military for your political gain!!
what war was walnuts in, has he mentioned that before?
mcsame: war war war and more war
“Senator Obama doesn’t understand….[fill in blank]”
Obama needs to slap him down or he’s going to look like Jimmy Carter hearing, “There you go again”.
McCain has nothing but war stories. This should tell us something.
blah blah blah, you are getting confused, old man.
Here come the “The mothers of dead soldiers love me” speech.
What the fuck is with these half sentence anecdotes? No seriously, what is the point? I want someone to fact check him, and find out exactly whose mom that was.
IT ALL ABOUT A FUCKING BRACELET!!!
And this was August a year ago. Did I mention - this was August. A year ago?
NotLaughing: Get rid of that protesting thing. It’s annoyinger than the Blingee McCain head.
My son’s death was not in vain. Low… very low.
Scum sucking weasel.
McCain just linked Iraq and Vietnam! And he did it voluntarily!
I have supported decades or war and famine and pestilence and death!
Oh here we go. Time to whip out the the bracelets
uh oh, we are comparing bracelets.
Dueling bracelets!
BRACELET FIGHT!!!
Bracelet duel!
bitches he-men wear bracelets
“I’ve got a bracelet, too.”
Okay……
can we have a bracelet count?? does jim-bo have one?
Barry: “Hey! I got a bracelet too!”
Here we go on the jewelry.
Jesus Christ. We’re never going to get out of Iraq.
________________________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
obama: i got a bracelet too!!
nice one o-bama!
You’ve both got jewelry! Why the fuck do we care?
We don’t want defeat. We want 10,000 more deaths. He knows how to win wars. And leave honor out of it for Christ sake.
Bamy’s gotta bracelet too, B1TCH!!!
Keep spending until we win!
Spend until we’re broke!
I HAVE A BRACELET TOO MOTHERFUCKER.
Awesome.
this crusty, ancient, hypocritical geezer hasn’t the IQ the job requires.
i left the schlitz in back of the fridge tonight, jim.
swiggin a grolsch flip top instead…. (such an elitist) glug-glug
Walnuts is nervously shuffling papers. Either that or he’s nearing a stroke.
“No soldier ever dies in vain”
I love you Barry
Barry just basically said: I’ve got a bracelet too so STFU
OOH LET’S ELECT THE MAN WHO WEARS MORE BRACELETS. THIS IS A GREAT IDEA.
I have some female friends with several hundred bracelets, WEAK SAUCE SENATOR
Oh, fuckin’ awesome. I have a bracelet too…
echoman2000: I would be more persuaded if it were about an anklet.
“I’ve got a bracelet too, John” OOOOOOOOH! Snap!
I don’t have a bracelet. Can I vote anyway?
McCain’s theme for this evening: Less taxes, more war.
I went for 5-1/2 years without braceletes to wear.
Good tactic, Barry– shift from personal stories to policy.
i’m so confused. every time i refresh there’s something from ‘notlaughing’ about how they’re protesting. when you protest don’t you leave? at least leave websites? oh i get it they’re picketing the front gates. gotcha. we’re all scabs.
HAHHA jim newell has a roommate. you’re obviously part of the 95% of Americans that make less than 250,000$$ a year, huh Jim?
I have a cool bracelet. It says, “Walnuts! Light your hair on fire!”
OH SNAP! OBAMA’S GOT A BRACELET TOO!
So this is how we’re gonna win in Iraq and Afghanistan, right? With magic bracelet weapons?
kondrat: That’s a Life Alert Bracelet
Walnuts keep repeating the “some guy’s mother gave me a bracelet story” - Senile.
BLING. THEY’RE ARGUING OVER BLING.
I haven’t had a beer in 13 years, but it might be time.
Yay another bitch slap…Muddle through this bitch.
Walnuts: Been there, done that, so I will win.
You’d think Barry would have gone to Afghanistan…
AT LEAST HE HAS A PASSPORT!
McCain has traveled there, but has Gov. Palin?
Are we fightin Wizerostan too?
_____________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
This is about the time in the debate where McCain breaks down and gets fucking mad. Anyone taking bets???
I have a bracelet too. It’s one of those awesome neon slap bracelets from the 80s. I also have a toe ring given to me by the mother of a Lieutenant serving in Dumbfuckistan.
Jesus Christ, his voice is cracking and he’s clenching his teeth. He is going to fucking stroke out right on stage. This is gonna be AWESOME.
Come on Barry! Smack him again! Walnuts is about to pop!
“I’ve seen Russia from my backyard.”
oops, sorry wrong debate
what would happen if they touch bracelets?
why does traveling there mean so much? “oh i saw it once. i get it all now.” everyone knows someone who “loves greece” because they saw one square mile of mykonos.
9:58 ish- Nana YELLS at the TV (McCranky): YOU ARE A TURD!
8 Year old grandson asks: “What is a turd?”
Nana: It comes out of your butt.
Grandson: So he is smelly, stinky, and should go down the toilet?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“We took our eyes off the people who caused 9/11. And they are still sending out video tapes.”
Netflix was responsible for 9/11?
Good comeback about dying soldiers and bracelets and not muddling through. Point Barry.
Wait that’s three different “most important” things.
OK, it’s on to the speed round!
But the improtan thig is… but thi emprontint thin is… bot eth epronimon tang si…
McCain: “I know what our security requirements are and I know what our needs are.” I just never actually say what they are.
It’s “General Petraeus, , the Magnificent, may peace be upon him.”
No no no the song, sing the song!!!
Dear John,
We have already lost the war. Asshole.
My reading, says Walnut . . . wait, I gotta know how to READ for this gig?
existential threat? does he know what that means?
I thought the timetable thing was kind of moot…aren’t they kicking us out anyway? Or is a McCain administration planning on saying “STFU, we’re staying bitches”?
This goddam stab-in-the-back rhetoric was drilled into Mac by Rudy, who was wearing his spiked helmet.
GATES OF HELL GATES OF HELL GATES OF HELL (the gates of hell are in Iran)
who the FUCK is talking about holocaust?
An existential threat? Awesome!
And now the lightning round.
Don’t get Barry started on existentialism.
1st one didn’t really happen; so who cares, Walnuts?
I think we have a new slogan: I have a bracelet too.
Iran! Sarah knows how to say their president’s name! She’s Miss Congeniality!
a league of democracies… a… New World Order???
Here we go with the Russians.
Sarah has been briefing him.
__________________
I am protesting being thrown off
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Lordy I have to pee. And I need another beer.
OMG! a second holocaust? “attention jewish people of america! vote for me, not the scary black man!”
who the FUCK is talking about holocaust?
also, why is McCain suggesting creating… NATO?
An “existential threat”? Really? What the FUUUCK?
Oh shit! McCain’s talking about a second holocaust. Wink, wink Israeli bankers.
A League of Democracies! With capes & hats!
DoktorZoom: No. Unless you wear a dead guy’s bracelet, you hate America. Bracelet is the new flag pin. At least bracelets allow you to style more, so it’s an improvement, y’know?
I don’t think McCain knows how to use ‘existential’ in a sentence.
A Leauge of Democracies? Isn’t that called the U.N.? Do we NEED another UN?
It’s “General Petraeus, the Magnificent, the Almighty”
McCain will save the Jews from the .Holocaust He really does have a time machine!
the Iranians not only have a lousy government but lousy food
He thinks Iran has a lousy economy?
HAHAHAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA!
________________________
I am protesting being thrown off
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
A league? With the French?
I am sick of his man crush on Petraus. The man is hopeless —- his rambling is killing me but Barry is owning him. Go Barry!
CHANGE THE TOPIC, boys.
The justice league of dumb-ocracy.
McCain is pulling his frequent flyer points again. Remember what happened the last time you dared Barack to go someplace?
League of Democracies to include US, Andorra, Tuvalu, San Marino, Yap, and Truk
****HEY DOUCHES LOVE YOU ALL GO HERE****
http://wonkette.com/403095/liveblogging-walnuts-vs-the-punk-part-iii
barry is going grey??? dignified
I’m gonna go ahead and predict that MSM calls this debate a tie.
mcsame: league of democracies. hmmm, that exists: nato mr mcsame?
Back me up everyone. When Mac says his “s’s” he sounds like Cindy Brady. “Baby talk , baby talk it’s a wonder you can walk!” “You stop that Buddy Hinton!”
Wally’s sibilance is annoying TF out of me.
Please, someone get him some Den-tu-Grip!
How’s about having Israel get rid of their nukes while we’re at it?
Did Walnuts say that his guy died last year? Because he died in 2006.
http://iraq.pigstye.net/article.php/StanleyMatthew
Two minutes on Iran…. if you gave Palin that, it would be a death sentence.
SayItWithWookies:
2 words
Space Diapers
Why doesn’t Barry bring Palin into the equation at least once or twice?
Is it wrong that I’m just happy that either way we’ll have a prez who can say “nuclear”?
Queen Regine: the BEST punditry EVAH!
McCain has held his own tonite, but he still can’t run a campaign. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Ahenocnoinoesalkjs dkajs dkasdk sdd i jad!
Why won’t McDufus, look Barry in the eyes…is he afraid to look a black man in the eyes?? Doesn’t McStupid know anything about actual politics??? Please Bar-Bar put him out of his misery!!
achemdnegiashdfdachdcdafig ijad!
Achmedinininejad!
Senator ORbama. Or else.
Quit saying “Sen. McCain is absolutely right.”
Say, “This old coot is a fucking idiot.”
Then show him your bracelet. And the diamond in your front teeth. That’s better than a bracelet.
who is ackmininidinijag?
How dare Obama threaten to talk to people. Outrageous!
twoeightnine: Win!
OH MY GOD, my roommate is never allowed to buy wine again. This shit is awful.
hey everyone moved again! i am too drunk to follow this thread…
mcsame: sen obama will talk to akamadenijad w/out preconditions!!
oh obama! what?
Ahmadinejad, John. Ask Sarah.
ach-med *choke* dinejad
Walnuts is really getting scary now…
acka acka WHO? God he is such an old.
Glass Naust!
Ahk-ma-din-uh-jad! His anti-gibbering old fuck pills are wearing off.
McCain can’t remember what he’s trying to say. Per per per is troika.
mcsame: akhmadenijad, akhmadenijad!!
After watching this the Israelis will be warming up the jets to hit Iran.
mcsame: akhmadenijdad
The Muslim knows how to pronounce Ahmajeniad, that’s fer sure.
Ahmadinejad is in New York now telling saying he is going to wipe out Israel.
First of all, Senator McCain, the administration is talking about sitting down with Iran.
TEA PARTY!
Invite them for tea? no, for a toke. Or a line.
i would have tea with barry.
Preconditions.
They’re important.
Why?
Oh, Nixon. I see.
One think that Barry and Old Spice can agree on is the pronunciation of “nuclear” — that is great progress.
McCain should skool his protege on that.
They still need to reach an agreement on pronouncing “Ahmadinejad” apparently.
Obama invites world leaders over for tea. What an elitist with his expensive suits and fancy bracelets and want for nuclear holocausts.
obama is sounding and looking more and more and more presidential.
PRECONDITIONS!!!
WITHOUT PRECONDITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, it worked beautifully with Cuba. They have cool 1958 Chevvies. See? No preconditions!
the audience isn’t reacting at ALL
McCain is dying over there. “I’m tired, can we PuhLEAASE go home, Bar?”
PRIME MINISTER OF SPAIN
Sweet justice! Busted on SPAIN!
Who else can we attack? McCain’s giving me a nuclear first-strike woodie!
GOOD ONE OBAMA: PRESIDENT OF SPAIN!
akhmadenijad again!
That’s right, Zapatero is secretly president of some Latin American country!
Walnuts thought Spain was in Latin America.
Ha Ha Spain!
Terry: audience was asked to keep quiet!
GO HERE GO HERE:
http://wonkette.com/403095/liveblogging-walnuts-vs-the-punk-part-iii
Speaking of stinking corpses and three inches shorter….
So McCain wouldn’t have sat down with the heads of China or Russia if they said nasty things!
“Obama doesn’t seem to understand…but it’s a fundamental difference of opinion…”
they might have nukes but north korea has shit video games….WE WIN!!!!!!
http://gizmodo.com/5055198/north-korean-arcades-are-incredibly-sad
Weeping Jesus: I’ll bet that Barry will have the chance to use the “There you go again” line in one of these debates. I can only hope that he takes the opportunity.
middlewest: I was thinking the same thing. Barry should have let the corps have his bracelet.
Obama looks smart; Walnuts is starting to repeat himself. What he doesn;t understand….
McCain smiles like a shark
Terry: They must give them free beer like at the tapings of Austin City Limits. Or they all fell asleep.
McCain is unbelievable. he only sees the world in black and white.
Fuck Kissinger. He was and is a nihilistic fool.
Oh, please dear god, new topic, new topic
can we drink in celebration of russia?
Obama is staying calm/Walnuts is shitting his Depends!
please let McCain frak out and call him a dirty word preferably something racist…just so everyone can see what he’s really thinking…I want it to be like a seen in law and order when the narcisitic killer admits
But can you see the Latvians from your porch?
Terry: They must be gobsmacked by McSame’s breathtaking gibberish. I am.
Sean O: Or in Ebony and Ivory.
Get ready. Here it comes. “Obama doesn’t seem to understand.”
mcsame: obama does not understand russia!! naivete!
OH
He doesn’t understand. God, if Walnuts says this one more time I’m going to take that cotton wadding out of his cheeks and stuff it down his throat.
i see three letters in his eyes O L D
Whoopie! McCain wants to pick a fight with Russia.
mcsame: we are not going back to the cold war!
McCain wants to build a pipeline to the Reagan era. Scary.
I saw four letters: STFU!
scene…man, I suck at this typing quickly thing…
ooh, foreign name mccain can pronounce
Juan drops a lot of names. Did he talk about riding with Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders?
10 more fucking min. my soul cant take more.
fascinating interview with ahmedinejad today by amy goodman. it begins 36 minutes into the 1 hour show today. brush up on your farsi, kids:
http://www.democracynow.org/
mcsame: i went there once in georgia
I was in Georgia once, too. Varsity drive in is great!!
mcsame: i know russia, i was there once.
I hate to break it to McCain, but Georgia started this thing.
nurple: The job is already taken by Palin’s anti-Soviet, Alaskan national guard. Bristol is its port of call. Wha? I just make small, small joke. It was meant in the spirit of bipartainship. True. Bite me.
Memo to Obama: Start saying, “Walnuts is once again letting us know that he really doesn’t spend much time in the Senate, what with all the taxpayer-funded foreign travel….just sayin’…seems to spend the taxpayer money like a drunk….not sayin’ nothin’ but dat’s wrong…”
Yo, GO TO THE LATEST THREAD ya’ll!
WTF? All of a sudden Juan pronounces russki names like he’s a native! He must be a goddamn communist!!
The reason Barry didn’t compare himself to Alexander the Great is because McSame could have said” “I knew Alexander, I served with Alexander and Senator, you are no Alexander the Great.
Oh, no Barry’s got spittle on his lower lip!!
Drilling off shore is a bridge. . .to nowhere Walnuts!! YOu’re dimwit running mate knows all about bridges to nowhere!!
ClothCoated: Best post ever!!
It was fun to hear John McCain lose the entire state of Washington with his bitch about Boeing. Yay John McCain! Took away our plane jobs and sent them to Russia! Yay!
I ain’t saying they maybe didn’t deserve it, it’s just a touchy subject round these parts, like going to Detroit and bragging about helping build car factories in Lichtenstein. Fail!
I can’t wait for Palin to say, “I was once in Canada? Hello? Big country right next to the place I’ve only left twice?”
Walnuts: “After 9/11 Joe Lieberman and I each blew each other and then we started a committee to find out what’s wrong with (fill in the blank.) America is safer today because the Brits and Germans are arresting the real terrorists while we arrest pretend terrorists. We’re a lot safer because I have to remove my fucking shoes before getting on a plane.
Al Qaeda (however the fuck you spell it) is now in more countries than Amway! What do you say to that Walnuts!?
“What you foreclosed homeowners don’t understand is that I still own 7 homes, so from my vantage point the housing market is fine.”
The minute we leave Iraq all hell will break loose. Say it, Walnuts: We can never say we “won”.
Remind us why experience is important, DaNuts! Then explain Palin. Oooops.
5.5 years! Yes! Money shot!
I want to be the meat in an Anderson Cooper-John King sandwich.
ooh, when McCain says the names of countries or cities, his running mate should be standing behind him with a wall map and try to put a pin in or near the place.