Wonkette
Oh good sweet god jesus shit WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE? The YouTube description says, “I came home from football practice one evening and my parents were talking to our neighbors who were drunk. This is what happened … I live in southeastern kentucky FYI.” Well, you have been warned, America. Here are three drunk Kentucky hillbillies ranting about Obama while sitting on a filthy AIDS unicorn. [YouTube]
On behalf of all white people, beg pardon.
The Horror. The Horror.
Is there no level to which Wonkette will not stoop?
I prefer these authentic Hillbillies over the Orange County, CA. ones I’ve talked to lately
Rednecks should NOT have boob and lip implants
The left-hand guy must have warrants out on him, the way he keeps hiding his face. Or maybe he just knows how ugly he is.
A little over halfway through, the main speaker, the crazy lady, accurately identified Spain as our ally
I would point out that McCain had failed to do so.
As if there were not other reason to get your friends registered to vote, McCainiacs have dug this gem out of the hills.
Well, to look at the good side, the two racist ridge runners appear embarrassed by their girlfriend’s Barack-is-a-Ayrab nonsense, while she gets pissed off when they spew racist cant about black folks. So collectively, they’re each about half sensible. Considering how drunk they are, that’s better than most of America.
1. I like how the guy in the white t-shirt has enough sense to try to shield himself from the camera.
2. I couldn’t understand a single word the guy on the far right said.
3. At least ‘Sayra’ knows Spain’s an ally, unlike Walnuts. And she shaves her armpits.
Shudder….
As Awful as this video is, the following is worse, prepare to cringe:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825469
I made it to 1:12 before I had to run for the vodka bottle.
Wasn’t there a poll released before the Kentucky Dem primary that showing that 20% of the respondents said that race would be a factor in their decisions and that 90% of that 20% were voting for Hillary?
Heavy fucking sigh.
McCain has found a replacement for Carli Fiorina.
I’m surprised she doesn’t want our troops out of Iraq so that America can focus on the real war — the one against them Hatfields.
SPOILER ALERT: So wait, she endorses Hillary? Or was that sarcastic? I was half paying attention.
I don’t judge fellow daytime drinkers.
Oh sweet, Jewish Jesus, there’s no way in hell those people are from the U.S.A.
McCain told me America has the most industrious, hard working people on the planet.
OK. I think I got it: all three are technically cousins but they’re also siblings. The dude in the front is the bitch’s grandfather and also her uncle. The dude behind her is her nephew, her second cousin, and her brother. He’s also the other dude’s uncle, cousin, brother, and his great grandfather too.
When Sarah gives it up, I see the replacement candidate right here, except she’s a bit too literate–her sentences aren’t quite the charming word salad Gov Snowbilly seems so fond of.
…OH MY GAAAAWD! Get that woman a tv show IMMEDIATELY!
Dear Wonkette,
I’m in Pacific Time and I just ate my lunch. I still have 3 hours of sitting at the computer to go before I can run home and be seriously ill. This was just mean!
BLEH!!
Meth is an awful thing.
shee-it, dem’s mah kin, ain’t seen ‘em in sucha long tam. she’s rat, y’know, but think about it fer a momentita. if’n we’uns, or we-all, kin lose the war agin the ay-rabbs simply by electin one big-eared smarty-pants to an office that is growin less relevant by th’ day, then th’ war’z over! our soldiers stop bleedin real blood–and god bless our soldiers–an’ our government stops bleedin what is it, i cain’t even count dat high, millions o’dollarz a day? izzit dat much now? thinka how much we’ll win if’n we lose!
EnBuenOra: Not according to McCain.Remember the Maine!
don’t turn it off too soon, about halfway through the guy on the right sounds like Boomhauer
AngryBlakGuy: You think you’re joking, but I give it about 10 minutes before that happens. She’ll be beating O’Reilly’s ratings in less than a week.
WhatTheHeck: “Friends, the fundamentals of our economy are dirty fucking methbillies.”
I would think this was a farce except i’d actually met people like this when i lived in Michigan.
Didn’t she say, somewhere between the ranting, that the fundamentals of our economy were strong?
More importantly, who’s traveled to more countries, her or Palin??
oh YAY. the kids and i are about to leave SIN-TASTIC massachusetts to go on a road trip to kentucky (obama sticker firmly on the car) for all the high holy days (don’t all jews go to kentucky for the high holy days? no?) and then i have to see this. the idea of 10 days on the farm with my fundamentalist aunt and uncle (who have all their teeth at least) is really starting to make me squirm. i will have to appease myself by going on a field trip to the CREATION MUSEUM (a mere half hour from the farm) and buying lots of floaty pens with jesus riding a dinosaur… sigh
I love how she has no example of an Arab name that she can throw out there while bitching about Burock Hoosayn Obama.
Wow. I truly never thought I’d encounter something that made me think, “Thank God I live in Arkansas.”
From the bottom of my little red Trotskyite heart, thank you football player guy and your Spanish friend.
Am I the only one just a little turned on by that? Damn, that’s the kind of place you go when you get evicted from the trailer park.
Core Republicans, represent!
To echo graceless, I would like to beg the pardon of every person on this earth. Christ this is absurd.
Side note: I don’t know what I expected but I was surprised to hear the work nigger. How totally predictable.
King Juan Carlos is gonna be PISSED when he sees this.
Some folk’ll never lose a toe, but then again some folk’ll.
That totally has to be a long-lost relative of Susan Sarandon’s.
The only thing that makes me feel ok about this video is that these people will never tear themselves away from the moonshine long enough to vote.
emmbob: Wrong! She’s an HRC voter and “ain’t given up on Hillary yet.”
Ur rednex is gon from yr tubez.
My grandmother from Fayette and Estill Counties, KY used to say about those people down in Harlan County that some people have a lot farther to go than the rest of us.
…I was actually going to give her a pass on her shear ignorance, up until she dropped the “N-Bomb”. Now I get to go completely ape shit on her brother/boyfriend!
1) The guy driving the ATV looks like failed partial birth abortion.
2) She may want to open the windows of her double wide up when she is baking her homemade meth, because it is obvious the fumes have severely damaged her brain.
3) At what point does inbreeding render you sterile?
4) You would think the guy in the front would like Barry considering he has less brain cells than teeth and Barry is offering free health care.
5) The guy in the back looked a little nervous to be on camera, I’m guess it has something to do with his outstanding warrant for incest. Or as they call it in Kentucky highschool prom.
6) Shorts and short you take over I need to take a breath/drink and I know you are in here somewhere!
The best part about this video is the guy who posted it’s YouTube name is BobSagetBillGates.
AngryBlakGuy:
OH MY GAAAAWD! Get that woman a tv show IMMEDIATELY!
Doesn’t she already have one? I never watch the Hills. That’s Lauren Conrad right?
DarkSynergy: I was more shocked when she suddenly countered that “this has nothing to do with black people at all.”
AngryBlakGuy: Actually, in Sayra’s defense & God knows she needs one, the guy on the right & someone off camera kept using the N word. Good Sayra was just saying that being a N word didn’t matter; it was the Ayrub crap that was bothering her. Umm…and the cutting off of heads (an odd fixation if you ask me.) Still, they’re all living brain donors.
Im confused…do they like the “ni**ers” or not??
V572625694: Funny, I could have sworn that he was doing a sieg heil…
Relax, children. These are not likely voters.
pdiddycornchips: …is that the chick from the hills that is anorexic and 90% breast implants?
facehead: like she sezz, what th’hell izz goin on? whatever she’s drinkin, smokin, snortin or shootin, i want me some an’ i want it right now, pleez. then i can turn myseff sidewayz like she duzz her viddy an’ the runny remnants of my brains kin jess flow out my ear. god i luv diss country, reely i do, we are so wunnerfully fucked up.
user-of-owls: State motto of Arkansas: “Not as bad as Mississippi!” Can you guess Missouri’s motto?
pdiddycornchips: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say: YES!
Texan Bulldoggette: …I stand corrected! I take back 1/4 of everything mean i said.
loganmo: Their response was clearly nuanced.
Fox News’ rural Kentucky affiliate?
“I cawt mah bes’ friend in bed wi’ ma wife.”
“You bitter?”
“Yeah. Bit him too.”
Jesus.
Just… Jesus.
These are the people who are voting for Sista Sarah because “…she’s just like us.”
Shudder.
I have fear in my bowels.
V572625694: “Just as bad, but no one notices!”? or is it, “We elected a dead guy!”?
teebob2000: You mean the Spanish guy up front?
AngryBlakGuy - “shear ignorance?” I don’t want to get on the high horse of the English language, but I’m not sure they made it through barber college…..
Hillary must be bursting with pride.
Rebel Countess: Relax, children. These are not likely voters.
Is a big “X” on the signature line valid? Wait, it’s Kayn-tuck, what am I thinking??
(BTW - you have brass balls posting on THIS thread with THAT username!
Or is that a Star Wars reference? )
Subtitles please.
“So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”
Best quotes from video:
“When we’re at war with the A-rabs, we don’t need an A-rab president.”
“I voted for Hilary Clinton.”
“Black has got nothing to do with the way the A-rabs are trying to sneak this guy in.”
Are any of you guys interested in my US citizenship? I give up.
The only thing better than sign-making Floridians are video-taking Kentuckians. Please let me know what the next most wonderful thing is, because I can’t think of what it would be.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BRB, must shit myself!
Racist, drunk, and plain ol’ stoopid, but still more coherent than Sarah Palin as interviewed by Katie Couric.
I kind of like the idea of Barack Obama being some sort of Islamofacist plot.
Also, wow - I never thought I’d actually see Cleetus the Slackjawed Yokel in the flesh. Well, the Youtube flesh. Seriously, I can understand everything that woman said, but him? Nada.
He sure do have a pretty mouth. For an Ay-rab.
OK, I know somebody out there in cyberworld probably has swimsuit pictures or a video of this woman.
PLEASE burn them.
Or send them to the A-Rabs.
The blind terrorists will not be able to attack Covington KY, or Bainbrige GA.
We have nothing to fear from Islamist terrorists when we can ship our own Christian terrorists to Afghanistan. This is one reason the country needs a military draft so badly.
Miss Sarah is little too happy to be hopping up and down on that ATV. What we have here is several generations of alcohol poisoning and shall we say, spontaneous erratic family planning. I wonder where they are going. To a friend’s for more lubrication? To the store for more lubrication? To the woods for homemade lubrication. Ah the humanity.
Typical white person.
I wonder what makes this kid think his neighbors (”people”) were drunk?
As someone who, sadly, was born in eastern Kentucky I know better than to watch this. Can someone tell me if they specifically say where they are from? I’m guessing Harlen. Also, can someone tell me if I should burn my passport and birth certificate and assume a new identity to avoid being associated with these people?
I’m surprised McWalnuts didn’t tap her, as his running mate.
She is ACTUALLY the GOVERNOR of Kentucky! really sad!!
She was obviously reading from cue cards.
And then one wonders why the election is so close?
I, for one, cannot even fucking believe such a place still exists in this county. Gawd save us all.
pdiddycornchips: Rednecks make me horny. I assume Larry the Cable Guy knows this and it’s why he wears sleeveless shirts.
Did she just say “These coloreds don’t run”?
I posted this a couple of weeks ago, but I heard that same “Hussein is his middle name” argument in my neighborhood.
Only the woman voicing it was a college grad, living in a house worth about 2 million dollars, driving an Escalade and married to an investment banker.
Other than the fact that she has all her teeth and wasn’t drunk, the two are identical, political twins. So sadly, I can’t say this is a hillbilly exception.
ARV Average Republican Voter LOL
Hillary must be so proud
I love that midway through she says she’s a Hilltard. That is fucking perfect. Oh my god, I just got it. She’s a Hill-billy.
Now if you took the time to go to YouTube, you would have noticed a little word in the description of the video.
They were described as patriotic.
The end.
I used to be married to her, sadly!
Good thing Bill’s not going to be campaigning for Obama toward Hillary supporters like this until after the Jewish holidays. They might get offended and all.
Oh My God, A Democrat, Hillary Supporter!!!
didnt cnn do this weeks ago under the title redneck riding a dog riding an atv?
Oh God,please let this be a hoax!
Christ Jesus, I give up. It reminds me of that Onion piece, Yee Haw! My vote cancels out y’alls!
Please, children, heed this example and stay in school!
This concludes the meeting of the east Kentucky chapter of Mensa.
are we sure democracy is the way we want to go at this point?
So that’s what a PUMA looks like in it’s natural environment. Fascinating.
Poll taxes and literacy tests suddenly looking like VERY smart idea.
This pure nugget of Americana (an ode to crystal meth) needs
to go in a time capsule, or the Smithsonian (or museum of racism
somewhere?) Though it could be a French hoax (Clinton supporter
pronounces “Barack Hussein Obama” a little too European).
Well, at least we can all find comfort in the fact that these people cannot donate money to John McCain, as they are saving up all their pennies for some teeth.
Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild?
WhatTheHeck: I think they were using Patriotic sarcasmically.
Drunk possum-eating woman actually identifies more foreign countries than Sarah Palin probably could — who told her about Lebanon anyway? Spain is our ally — not even Katie elicited this level of analysis.
Kentucky- the state even Ohio can make fun of.
@AnnieGetYourFun
I’d say Oregonians hanging an effigy of Obama…oh, wait…
If your own mother is so drunk that she barely pulls the Marlboro out of her lips as she calls Barack Hussein Obama an “Ay-rab,” then you just might be a redneck.
Oh sweet Jeebus, we are seriously doomed as a species. God willing, those fucked up hillbillies NEVER leave Kentucky.
You mean… you mean Barry O’Bama isn’t Irish? Holy Shiite! I’ve got to re-evaluate this whole thing.
I’m thinking this isn’t going to be a problem for the Obamists though — As long as junior gets mom and dad and the neighbors all f*cked up the night before the election, they’ll probably sleep through the damn thing.
THESE COLORS DON’T RUN!
WINWINWINWINWWINWNWIWNIWIWNWIWNWIWNWIWNWI!!!
I would like to take up a collection to buy these people some teeshirts that say:
“We Are The White Working-Class Voters Everyone’s Talking About”
Or, you know, maybe just some teeshirts without rips, crackpipe burnholes and squirrel juice stains on them.
God I am so glad I kept watching until Boomhauer started talking. Thankfully, these people are probably too stupid to make it to the polls.
What’s his name again?
Odds that none of those three have ever been on COPS? Infinte:1, I think.
I hate to sound like an elitist,(O.K. who am I fooling, of course I do) but these subhuman motherfuckers should be sterilized immediately. Their gene pool pollution needs to stop before it’s too late. White people wake up!
They have to be ringers, like a lot of the guests on the Jerry Springer show, don’t they???
Nell II: Children of the Meth Lab. Jodie Foster will be pissed when she sees who’s playing her in the sequel.
“You can’t tell someone else that the ground on which they make their voting decision is irrational.”
The guy on the back of the four wheeler is wearing a white t-shirt after labor day! How embarrassing. Although after listening to Ma Kettle’s views on foreign policy she seems to have more nuanced ideas than Sarah Palin.
she dont sound no diffrint than an educated rightwing pundit no how.
pdiddycornchips, AngryBlakGuy: actually you guys are thinking of Heidi, the anorexic who is like 90% fake boobs from the hills. She, as a matter of fact, is actually a Walnuts! supporter, and she lunches with unemployed blogger Meghan Mccain. It was pretty much awesome when my two favorite sources for mockery, the election and the hills collided. Speaking of the hills, that fellow with the fetal alcohol syndrome forehead just might be Justin Bobby, or at least his meth-crazed, Appalachian equivalent.
“HOPE-fully not!” Very clever, Sayrah.
Bless their hearts…
Jesus wept.
They’re method actors and they’re genius.
I still haven’t watched it. I’m on strike. Seriously, these people are voting. Probably three or four times each. Everyone in eastern Kentucky votes. It is the best excuse that they have to leave the head of a holler all year. Plus, sometimes someone will give you a bottle of whiskey if you agree to vote for them.
Screw me sideways! OMGWTF….just OMG!
I guess now I know what happened to the rest of the ex’s family.
Mom?
I like she’s between 3 - 4 time more articulate and knowledgeable about world affairs than Palin.
And you just KNOW that Sarah was asking, “And why can’t I mention the negroe’s middle name to Katie?” all last week.
I love this country.
Honestly, to vote, one should have one of these things:
1. A university degree from a decent school (i.e. educated people tend to be informed);
2. Property worth a certain amount of money (i.e. you’ve a real stake in the election and will likely be informed); or
3. Pass a test (proving that you’re not going to vote for a stupid reason).
These people clearly would flunk all three.
I mean, I don’t really care if you vote Republican (okay, I do), but not if it’s ‘cos you think Saddam caused 9/11 or Obama is a Muslim (not that that should matter, but you get the point).
Of course I’m all in favor of the random shooting of stupid people.
That video is like The Ring (Ringu). Once you’ve watched it, you are cursed, and you have not other choice but to die from shame and despair.
Where do you think Geddy Lee was going to drive them?
Other than the being drunk part I share no traits with that train wreck.
Do I hear dueling banjos in the background?
i see someone’s been reading the wall street journals op-ed page….
I’ve never met my birth parents. I’ll never look for them either.
….last of the P.U.M.A.’s?
Damn Canadians. Good thing they can’t vote in this country.
Anyone notice what kind of beer they were drinking? Bud Lite?
This makes me ashamed to be a multi-celled organism.
I am really really really glad I drank half a bottle of Bacardi 151 before watching that. I will now laugh and laugh rather than curl up and cry. Go Hillary!
StupidGeek: That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking!
Texan Bulldoggette: Funny, but her shaved armpits were something I noticed as well. I’ll bet she’s smokin’ between the sheets….well, a cigarette, maybe, but still…
that made king of the hill look like effing masterpiece theater.
Yikes, lady. You’re an idiot and proud.
I understood the gent on the right perfectly. Don’t the rest of you speak English?
WithMySFValues: Hey, Lebanon’s in the Bible!
#1 This is why the GOP under-funds education at every opportunity - ready made voters!
#2 What the hell is an AIDS Unicorn?
It’s always safer to get drunk at the BOTTOM of a hill.
I suddenly recalled how a guy running for office in Kaintucky was speaking to a crowd of ‘billies about his opponent. He said something like: “It’s well known that my opponent has engaged in acts of philanthropy, and his sister is a thespian in the wicked city of New York.”
It would still work today.
It’s nice that they take the Fox Morning News anchors out on the road every so often. That hillbilly wine sure livens up the morning show. Doocey was hysterical driving that motorcycle and I always thought the blonde in the middle was the smartest one.
Weeping:
Sorry, I was too busy masticating. What did you say?
Genetic feedback diluted with moonshine, lead, and cordite. If there truly is a group that defines sub-human…
Does this video remind you of an old movie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzae_SqbmDE&feature=related
Once again, my home state does me the opposite of proud.
I would like to take back the term “Elite”. If elite equals educated, thoughtful, bright, articulate, and curious, then Elitists Unite! I would rather be tagged a liberal elitists than have to explain to these bright and shiny examples of the common man that we are not at war with LEBANON. I mean, sweet Jesus, talk about surviving on lower brain function. And here I had through all these years that these people just didn’t vote. Ignorance IS bliss.
They put up with her ’cause she’s purty.
Samr:
See recent writings by Bill Maher on this exact topic.
That’s what happens when all the wildlife corridors between national parks and nature preserves get cut off by freeways and overdevelopment. The critters don’t have a chance to mate with herds genetically dissimilar from them.
The only good news is that those isolated populations typically die off in a few generations, so they can’t pass on the madness of inbreeding to subsequent generations.
OffTheRecord: At least they’re contained, like a tumor, in solid red Kentucky. I hope they don’t leak out.
Maybe that Rothschild chick will come to visit them on voting day, in case they’re too drunk to get to the polls.
My Dear Colonial Friends,
You have clearly failed to spot that these three chippy individuals are in fact British method actors who have been living amongst the unfortunate colonials of the Kentucky colony to acquire their speech patterns and mannerisms in order to take part in a play I am directing called “Love Under a Kentucky Moon”. All graduates of The Royal Academy for Dramatic Arts (R.A.D.A.) are skilled in both traditional Shakespearian acting and modern method acting (as can be seen here). If you detect any flaws in the authenticity of their Eastern Kentucky accents do let me know and I will pass on your advice.
In the meantime I have a war to wage against some rebel usurpers in the Thirteen Colonies of His Majesty King George III so I’ll bid you good day!
Cheerio,
Col. B’Stard Tavington (Royal Green Jacket Dragoons)
Drunken racist hillbillies vs. Crazy-ass fundie creationists = Sophie’s Choice
That woman is CRAZY. Can you blame me for covering my face?
HAHA! just kidding! Thats not me, I never even HAD a sister to fuck.
Also,
Here is why they are voting for WALNUTS!: The fact that they are riding on a four wheeler as opposed to a three wheeler (banned in the 80’s by the federal government) shows quite clearly that while we may see them as bitters, they are very much elitists in the eyes of their toothless inbred peers.
I wonder how long it took to upload a video this long over their AOL dial-up service. That sort of dedication is anathema to the methbilly way of life.
Boom-frickin-hauer ROCKS! LOL
hollywoodmolly: Hey now! Don’t go dragging Louisville into this. We are a tiny island of Hope in a great big sea of teh crazy. We make the roads deliberately confusing in an attempt to keep the rest of the state out.
funkyj: It HAS to be. This (he said, tapping his nose) is an old friend…and I think it’s a brilliant fraud perpretrated by, let’s say, David Gordon Green.
OffTheRecord:
Hey, home town of Muhammed Ali. The whole city gets a lifetime pass. Now if you guys could just get the fecal coliform out of your water supply.
I’ve never been more grateful for my education and dentist as I am now.
This woman doesn’t like Arabs, but she seems to be ok with black people so maybe someone should tell her that Barry is black? Just a suggestion.
A Cautionary Tale:
If you look at the picture of Sarah Palin as a beauty pageant contestant and then look at this cracker woman, you can see a vague resemblance. It tells of the effects of a couple decades and a thousand lifestyle choices.
One one hand, you have someone in her mid-40’s who hails from the Alaska meth capital and looks as hot today as any 44 year old woman could rightfully hope to look.
On the other, you have a woman who is, according to some sources (me, I made them up, but still..) actually in her mid-20’s but has hit the wall (at high speed), looking like King Tut’s aunt, sounding like a flatlining vegetative state waterheaded child. Most likely, thousands of gallons of hooch, corn likker, and white lightning have found their way down that gullet, chased by a couple cartons a week of GPC menthols and the odd incestuous encounter.
You decide: which path will you choose? Let’s see: Potential VP, masturbatory fantasy object, riding in private jets and limos vs. Potential oral cancer victim, riding on the back of an ATV with Toothless Joe and some dude who failed out of a ZZ Top cover band, dry humping a poorly taxidermied goat (or whatever that thing is).
The choice is obvious. Make room on the ATV, boys! Daddy’s comin’ home!
ever so often, i think about the fact that i’m leaving the south in a couple of months to go to grad school, and i get very melancholic about my home region.
and then i see this and remember all the horrible, horrible people i have interacted with over the years and realize that i can just read faulkner or o’connor whenever i get a little homesick, and keep my goddamned sanity in the long run.
At least they’re drunk so they forget they live in Kentucky
I’m glad these people live in this great Commonwealth — they help keep out a lot of liberals.