WASHINGTON, DC, 03:30 AM, THU NOVEMBER 26 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
« next »
METRO SECTION

A Number Of Sad Truths Concerning Breakfast

  • Say goodbye to all the zeitgeist-y cover stories in your City Paper. [The Georgetown Voice]
  • Here is a nauseating list of all eggs and ice cream and coffee that famous Washington celebrities eat upon waking. [DCist]
  • Why all DCs bagels are so terrible, and a $700 billion Bagel Bailout Plan. [City Paper]
  • Ha ha, here are the photos from Roll Call’s “Fabulous Fifty” Party, which are just shots of a dozen or so frustrated people yelling into cell phones and avoiding eye contact by sadly looking down into their Diet Pepsis. [Fishbowl DC]
  • Terrible fake postal terrorism struck the Dept. of Veterans’ Affairs, as an envelope arrived brimming with Suspicious White Powder and intolerance. [Washington Post]


4:31 PM on Fri September 26 2008
By Juli Weiner
614 Views

  1. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 4:35 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Hey, Juli! We need a Caribou Barbie Swimsuit Edition post to crap all over! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/26/sarah-palins-beauty-pagea_n_129667.html

  2. Bagels and pizza are terrible nationwide, except for in New York City, because they are made with terrible local tap water and not New York City tap water. Except for Famous Famiglia which actually ships New York City tap water to its other locations.

    I thought everybody knew this?

  3. Babs Hula says at 4:39 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Is there some reason I can’t post under another name?

  4. slappypaddy says at 4:41 pm, September 26th, 2008

    so if marion ain’t eatin th’ babies, who’s eatin the babies? c’mon peeps, somebody’z gotta be eatin them babies, we cain’t afford to be wastin nuttin in dese endangerous times. everbody belly up to th’ baby bar an’ start th’ forkin. c’mon! dey go well wit pigz feet an’ lipstick, an’ you can eat ‘em raw. do it for yer country, everbody’s countin on you.

  5. Rodney Badger says at 4:43 pm, September 26th, 2008

    1984. Palin. Swimsuit. Now.

  6. SelfDeprecatingFed says at 4:43 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Fake postal terrorism? Not as bad as Philadelphia where a stadium was evacuated for suspicious hot dogs…

    http://cbs3.com/topstories/Philadelphia.Phillies.Citizens.2.824722.html

  7. cheeto_jeebus says at 4:44 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Cogito Ergo Bibo: the intertubes is like a giant I luv Lucy closet, open the door and who knows what old musty thing’ll drop out.

    pleeze don’t ban me, I didn’t mean to make ‘that’ sort of reference.

  8. Barack Obama eats four to six eggs every morning…

    My boy can eat 50 eggs.

  9. Cape Clod says at 4:45 pm, September 26th, 2008

  10. Dude, if that white powder is what I think it really is, its mine and please return it. I’ve got a whole weekend to get through without sleep

  11. Rodney Badger says at 4:49 pm, September 26th, 2008

    McCain Spokeshottie Nicole Wallace is getting her (surely adorable) ass kicked by Dave Shuster on MSNBC right now. Things are looking poorly for McCain’s campaign, in case you haven’t noticed.

  12. Makes me wonder what Sarah Palin had for breakfast, that fateful day, in 1984, when she wore a swimsuit.

  13. DemmeFatale says at 4:51 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Godot: Yeah, isn’t this common knowledge?

    Also: never ask a Canadian about Montreal bagels or Montreal “smoke meat.”
    (I’m sure that North American Wonketteers will back me up on this.)

  14. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 4:51 pm, September 26th, 2008

    Cape Clod: Yay! Finally, my fellow citizens are growing some brains! I’m lucky to be stuck in a spot of blue in this purple state.

  15. Rodney Badger says at 4:53 pm, September 26th, 2008

    facehead: I’ve concluded that Ken, Jim and Sara are battling over who gets to make the post. My money is on Ken because he has a beard and swears more often.

  16. Fabulous 50? WTF-who are those people? I look better in a suit, and I don’t leave the house without cheekless pleather chaps.

  17. obfuscator says at 4:58 pm, September 26th, 2008

    House Republicans returning to bailout negotiations now that the Walnuts! Traveling Road-Show of Spectacular Failure is on the way to Mississippi.

  18. Eggs, pork product (sausage, bacon, chorizo, etc. — thanks but no thanks on the barrels though), cheese, green tea. Now I’m getting hungry again…

  19. Chuckie Jesus says at 5:15 pm, September 26th, 2008

    slappypaddy:

    They don’t have pickled pigs feet up here in the Midwest the way they did in Anacostia back in the 1970’s. I demand satisfaction.

  20. WoundedVeteran says at 6:36 pm, September 26th, 2008

    I am looking for investors. For the past week I have shit into a 13 gal tall kitchen bag and plan to offer it for bid on EBAY. I see the bid opening at say, 500k an ounce with futures going for 350k. Resale on this shit is going to be, minimum, double maybe triple, the initial price. I’m going to call the product Fannie Hole Dump ™ and I will take payments in congressional earmarks, cash, Congressional House Bank, RNC checks, DNC checks or any union check or direct deposit. And the best part, I’m opening a Wall Street Bank, Shitdream, and am going to offer mortgage futures around the world, based on Shit from Shitdream. Don’t wait, check your portfeces and join in, remember, you can shit too.

  21. i love the georgetown voice! take that hoya.

  22. DemmeFatale says at 7:12 pm, September 26th, 2008

    WoundedVeteran: Have you seen this? http://www.buymyshitpile.com I think you were made for each other.

  23. Neal Bagels in Gaithersburg. If you drive really fast, they’ll still be warm by the time you’re back in the District.

Leave a Reply