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The National Review hears something HMM: “One side effect of McCain’s debate gambit is, I’m told, that everyone at Ole Miss now hates him. It will make for a very hostile audience tonight among those students and faculty attending. He might have to apologize for creating the uncertainty or make some explanation up front, which is never ideal.” Ah but Rich Lowry, a Maverick thrives on hatred! (Besides, they don’t like BLACK PEOPLE either in Mississippi so it balances out). As John McWalnuts has told us countless times this campaign, he’s been on Capitol Hill for decades and has made no friends there. It’s his “thing.” What a man! A couple of other analyses of how McCain blew nuts with this weird debate gag, below.

Chris Cillizza gives us “The Fix,” nyah nyah:

But, over the intervening 24 hours, McCain saw what at first looked like a brilliant political gambit turn into a nightmare, as an apparent done deal to save the financial industry devolved into a partisan shouting match at the White House that left congressional negotiators back at square one.

[…]

Spin aside, McCain blinked in what had become a high stakes staring contest between he and Obama.

IN THE TANK. Where’s a Republican? Here’s some Republican. Tell us, random hobo Republican, did John McCain blink or are you in the tank also?:

“It just proves his campaign is governed by tactics and not ideology,” said Republican consultant Craig Shirley, who advised McCain earlier in this cycle. “In the end, he blinked and Obama did not. The ‘steady hand in a storm’ argument looks now to more favor Obama, not McCain.”

Shirley added, “My guess is that plasma units are rushing to the McCain campaign as we speak to replace the blood flowing there from the fights among the staff.”

Gross! A tank of blood, and he is in it.

*Ahem*

FAIL.

A Hostile Audience [The Corner]
McCain Blinks [WP/The Fix]
Ex-Adviser: McCain “Blinked,” Campaign “Governed By Tactics, Not Ideology” [HuffPo]

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179 COMMENTS

  1. Epic epic fail. Walnuts looks like a total jackass right now, and EVERYBODY knows it, even all his supporters and staff. And worse, now everybody knows what a vapid worthless lump of T & A he chose as his running mate. What a pair! GOP now and forever more shall stand for Gays Oogling Power (with the subscript – FROM AFAR).

  2. [re=110038]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I am offended that you compared Senator Obama to a dog. We all know that his massive phallus prevents him from reaching his balls with his tongue.

  3. Let’s see.
    step 1: Back out of the debate to save economy.
    step 2: sabotage bail out talks with cheap stunt. ( see step 1)
    step 3: realize your blunder.
    step 4: go to debate and lose big time.

  4. Of course I’m hoping McCain will stand behind the podium tonight and start pounding his papery fists onto the podium until they turn to an apple sauce consistency, but I’m assuming he’ll do just well enough, somehow, that everything will be back to square one on Monday when the Stock Market crashes so low mathematicians will be scrambling to create a new number.

  5. I don’t like where this is going.
    Tanks of blood, rushes of plasma, cancerous McChicken nuggets devoured to stop sudden alcohol poisoning… Eew. Just. Eeew.

  6. Spin aside, McCain blinked in what had become a high stakes staring contest between he and Obama.

    Ugh, bad grammar. It’s “him,” not “he.” Gah.

  7. According to a friend of mine who teaches at Ole Miss, they’ve saved a whopping 30 seats for (white) faculty and students. It’ll be the same ole assholes in the audience, so suck that, NR.

    On the plus side, at least McCain won’t have to share a drinking fountain with Obama for the first debate, at least.

  8. Please. McCain is not going to show up. He is going to call the debate about an hour before it starts, announce that he must immediately return to Washington to solve all the world’s problems, and then bee seen in Mississippi having dinner at a Mark Russell performance.

  9. In the debate tonight, Walnuts will suspend his response to the first question until the last question has been asked, saying that he wants “to carefully weigh, my friends, these important questions carefully for five and a half years, Alan.” When all of the questions have been asked–with Walnuts sitting there blinking silently for the duration, he will get really red, call Lehrer a “cunt,” and trip over a studio cable as he storms off of the stage. Slapstick Hilarity Ensues!

    Barry will laugh for six hours and we will all have happy, smiley unicorn-rainbow-days forever, amen.

  10. [re=110038]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I believe the phrase can be distilled down to “a dog licking its’ own WALNUTS!”

    [re=110044]loquaciousmusic[/re]: He should really sing that Kenny Rogers ‘Gambler’ song, since he’s such a MAVERICKY GAMBLER. Double down WALNUTS!, Cindy needs a new pair of Manolos!

  11. For what it is worth, since I’m home sick today:

    According to Rush Limbaugh, everything is Obama’s fault since he couldn’t run the meeting at the White House that was called by George W. Bush at John McCain’s recommendation. Apparently John McCain’s failure to take charge, or say anything meaningful at the meeting just shows what a brilliant leader the maverick is.

    Either I’m really sick, or Limbaugh has been hitting the Hillbilly Heroin again.

  12. [re=110073]facehead[/re]: Or, for a real laff riot, he could just send Sarah instead. I mean, he DID say she was qualified.

    On a more important note, who is going to stay sober tonight, get wasted for the Veep debate on Thursday? I’m too old for more than one serious drunk in a week and need to decide which to pass out during.

  13. Gross! A tank of blood, and he is in it

    Amongst his colleagues, that is called “chum”.

    So, someone saw this as a brilliant political gambit? Someone who didn’t work for Fox News?

  14. Cilizza: “But, over the intervening 24 hours, McCain saw what at first looked like a brilliant political gambit turn into a nightmare, as an apparent done deal to save the financial industry devolved into a partisan shouting match at the White House that left congressional negotiators back at square one.”

    Translation: Chris Cillizza thought it was “a brilliant political gambit” – but was completely wrong. As usual.

  15. I think Barry has a chance to Flip the Old Miss. He’s pissed off his primary luving audience. And he should portray himself as the sad byproduct of a black man having his way with a white woman and running off. He’s a white man trapped in a mixed race body. The poor guy – it ain’t be his fault.

    Plus Walnuts is a senile dick.

  16. McGrampy got to spend some precious stolen moments whispering special Vietcong love haiku into Lieberman’s cauliflower ear yesterday so I’m sure he already considers the week as a big win.

  17. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts ..

  18. me : Why are his actions surprising? The fucker crashed five planes. It’s kinda like when Starbuck passed Zak Adama when she shouldn’t have but she did and he died.

    you : Surely you don’t believe that what you just said has anything to do with what we’re talking about??

    me : Don’t call me Shirley!

  19. Great Flying Spaghetti Monster! I’ve had boyfriends who’ve pulled less passive-aggressive manipulative shit then McCain.

    Not many, but still…

  20. [re=110105]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Nice. Now I have an image in my head of McCanine licking his TruckNutz! with that forlorn, accusatory look of a recently castrated dog on his lumpy face!

  21. [re=110105]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Wait. “Allowing your pet to retain his self-esteem?” I can’t believe I’m reading that. On the other hand, I’m heartened that they care.

  22. [re=110119]freakishlystrong[/re]: To be fair to the MSM (I can’t believe I’m saying that), Walnuts could rape a puppy while drinking his daughter’s blood and singing “Ooops! I Did It Again” with a buttplug up his ass, and 50% of the country would still vote for him. That being the case, this race will always be “neck and neck.”

  23. Hey does anybody know if the debate will be live on the MSNBC interwebz or the CNN’s? I need to know if I should buy an antenna for my 85 year old television… Help!

  24. [re=110110]tunamelt[/re]: My friend says 57 minutes – I WAS for a tantrum but now I tend to lean more for a slimy meltdown of angry grunts and forgetting where he is out of frustration.
    I’m saving all the champagne tonight for an UBER SENIOR MOMENT. :D

  25. Now that McCain “blinking” shows his weakness, I think the next election should be conducted via staring contest. After all, George Bush looked into Putin’s eyes and saw his soul, so he’s qualified…

  26. I would say that with the last few days e.g. the bailout crisis, the failed postpone-the-debate stunt, Palin’s interviews hitting the airwaves, media reactions, and the last few polls to come out, the pressure inside Walnuts’ cardiovascular system must be pretty goddam high. hell, it feels pretty high for me vicariously and I’m just sitting in my pajamas in my parents’ basement, so yeah.

    thus I suggest a couple of tweaks to the drinking game:

    Walnuts sprays saliva and scrunches up his face = a drink
    ” says cunt = two drinks
    ” grips the podium for support and mops his brow = 3 drinks
    ” grabs his chest = actually stand up and hold your breath for a few seconds, then 5 1/2 drinks
    ” has stroke = sad (RIP)
    Mittens and Huck back in it = champagne!

  27. Speaking of blinking a lot, did anyone else catch Sarah Palin blinking constantly the whole while she was telling Charles Gibson, “You can’t blink…you can’t blink…”?

  28. If creationism is true, then wasn’t everyone created by God, therefore we shouldn’t care about the color of his skin? God created our saviour mixed race, so why do these bible thumper gayz have their panties all wound up?

    Maybe I missed page 125 of the bible where that is all explained in black and white.

  29. [re=110105]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: OMG with a squeal!!!
    Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.
    OMG!! More squeal! I just shot buggers out my nose!

  30. Expect Walnuts! to fake a heart attack. Or stroke. Or Alzhiemers. Or fall down getting off the plane. Or spontaneously combusting. Or just plain old ditching, since he is a punk bitch. And I’m going to miss it ’cause I have to go to work. Life is hilariously cruel.

  31. [re=110105]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: [re=110149]ihasasad[/re]:
    Dammit, they used to feature a song about Neuticles on Talk Soup a million years ago, but I can’t find it anywhere.

  32. [re=110117]ihasasad[/re]: NO NO NO!!! I simply cannot allow this revisionist sci-fi to go unchallenged. This is how it is: Starbuck is a dude, Boomer is a dude (a human dude), and Apollo is Jim Zorn. End Of Story.

    And Cylons don’t fucking blink because they gots the KITT scanner up in their shiny domes. So, yeah, Palin is a badly programmed fembot.

  33. [re=110150]Hunter Gathers[/re]: I say he goes for the Robert Novak defence. Surely a malignant, judgement-impairing brain tumor does not disqualify a war hero from the presidency.

  34. [re=110107]Borat[/re]: You’re right onto something… I say Obama ought to take a page from Dubya’s South Carolina 2000 Primary and point out that voters will now be able to choose between two men who fathered black babies. The bitterz will stay home in droves.

    Now that’s some racial transcendence I can believe in!

  35. I think the best part of the whole charade is Tucker “My Ability to Bullshit Knows No” Bounds going on the teevee and claiming just McCain should get credir for the bailout agreement that was in place at about 2pm yesterday. LMAO.

  36. If McCain gets a tough question tonight can’t he claim the 5th, because his campaign is suspended?
    McCain is a genius, like in RainManian sorts way . . .

  37. Now I can’t decide if McCain is passive/aggressive or just aggressive/aggressive.

    I truly believe that all political candidates be given a psychological workup and the results published for everyone to read.

  38. [re=110096]shoeho[/re]: Five minutes on a stage with Hopey, and the GILF would be down on her knees like Madeleine Kahn in Blazing Saddles. Just imagine hearing, “It’s twue! It’s twue!” in that ding-a-ling pseudoCanuck twang of hers.

  39. [re=110110]tunamelt[/re]: No, I think he’s going to give a listless, phone-it-in performance tonight. This is always been about bumping this sucker to the VP debate’s slot and now that it’s been an epic fail, he knows that his campaign only has another week on life support until Wasilla’s ex-mayor vomits stupid all over a national stage.

  40. [re=110161]tunamelt[/re]: If it’s McCain in action, then you should drink beer made in Czechoslovakia, a nation which was still visible in McCainvision just last July. Mind you, since there hasn’t been a Czechoslovakia since 1993, the beer might be a little stale by now. Making it a good accompaniment to stale walnuts.

  41. [re=110112]madtowngooner[/re]: I understood the first half of what you said, but the second half completely lost me. Please justify your argument and logic. I also it assumes it has something to do with someone in the tank losing a massive amount of blood? Who done it?

  42. the economy wouldn’t have crashed if Obama had done those 10 town hall meetings with me!

    I wouldn’t have chosen Sarah Palin if Obama had done those 10 town hall meetings with me!

    I wouldn’t have declared war with Spain if Obama had done those 10 town hall meetings with me!

    I wouldn’t have 4 different types of cancer if Obama had done those 10 town hall meetings with me!

    I wouldn’t have dissed Letterman if Obama had done those 10 town hall meetings with me!

    How many times do you think the crazy old man who yells at clouds will blame Obama for no town hall meetings?

  43. This is all very amusing, but decades of watching American elections have convinced me that debates have virtually nothing to do with how people vote. Democrats almost always ‘win’ the debates, and then lose the election. Although I don’t recall any ‘meta-debate’ scenarios like this one.

  44. Who’s running this crazy campaign — wild monkeys? The old dude is probably senile but I think he will repeat few things like “ I will follow Bin Laden to the gates of hell” and my all time favorite: “I know how to (insert here: win wars, fix the economy, deliver victory) I don’t know why no one ever asked him when did he ever win a war. I digress though– my fantacy is that after his colossal failure this week, he is so thin tempered that he will yell at Obama “this is mine, you can’t take it away from me. Its my time — I served and groveledo to Bush for 8 miserable years.”

  45. [re=110096]shoeho[/re]: I’ll be sober tonight. Thursday I’ll be so shitfaced they’ll be scraping excrement from my eye sockets friday morning in the ER.

  46. The only thing I know for sure is that the worse Walnuts does in the debate tonight, the higher Palin’s hemline for her debate with Crazy Joe.

  47. [re=110161]tunamelt[/re]: I would vote for anything by Rogue or Dogfish Head. They actually get the maverick thing, unlike McOld. Rouge’s Double Dead Guy is sounding particularly appropriate, methinks…

  48. WALNUTZ is now the “don’t answer yet, you also get this amazing ….” of politicians.

    Nice work Rick Schmidt. You are quickly becoming the worst campaign manager in the history of presidential campaigns.

  49. [re=110216]Valerie[/re]: OMG. There is so much wrong with that. She actually listed being in “Who’s Who” as an achievement? She’s really wearing white spiked heels? And she can barely walk in them. Ayeiiiiii!!!!

  50. [re=110217]PoliTacky[/re]: I can’t resist. She’ll do well in the Mideast with a camel toe like that. Forgive me, it’s been a long week and the alcohol-meds combination has finally destroyed whatever discretion I used to have

  51. [re=110087]donner_froh[/re]: I’ll say. I covered the image with a Post-it as to avoid seizure while reading the post, but the eyes shine through and I can feel the evil within compelling me to join the call-up.

  52. [re=110125]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: I’m starting to think he got himself shot down, decided to stay in prison for 4 years, reject release, then stay for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ALAN as some kind of stunt. Some kind of unresolved complex with his Panamanian father I suspect. (OMG, have we seen his birth certificate yet! We gotta get that checked out!!!!!!111!!!)

  53. [re=110232]Borat[/re]: Are you saying that he was abused as a kid and as a teen and as a young adult and as an adult and then he crashed on purpose to get away from the abuse and he didn’t want to go home after four years because he didn’t want to be abused as an older adult?

  54. [re=110230]madtowngooner[/re]: Don’t start getting pangs of guilt now, shit, she’s the one twirling her ass in front of a panel of judges comprised of assistants to city council members and local mattress salesmen!

  55. [re=110213]ihasasad[/re]: Well, I meant “in action” but in the same way that, say, geologists say that in the last ice age the midwest was scraped flat by the action of moving glaciers.

  56. Can we please get a post going about the 1984 Miss Alaska swimsuit competition video? Are our beloved editors already drunk in anticipation of the glorious debate?

  57. [re=110202]tunamelt[/re]: Does that mean there’s mayonnaise in it now? I don’t know how well that would play with the bitterz…

    Well, maybe if it were Hellman’s or Miracle Whip. But none of this elitist “remoulade” or anything!

  58. [re=110241]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: OK, I’ll concede that one to you–it still means she’s a shitty useless robot with an aversion to blinking. Just a lot shaggier.

  59. [re=110262]Godot[/re]: No but it means they came out with some sketch ‘Mericun Ale to prove BUD is still ‘MERICUN now that it is owned by the Belgians.

  60. [re=110259]PoliTacky[/re]: Well, if you’re a guy, the woman is supposed to come first, don’tchaknow! If you’re both chicks, well, at least you’re both happy.

    [re=110260]ihasasad[/re]: I can’t stand going over there. The headline screaming on top of the homepage makes my head bleed.

  61. [re=110256]Agatha[/re]: I shall wave to you from my float after I win the pageant, dahling!

    While this clip is good, the guy who posted it seems to be claiming there’s more, so I think the really funny shit might be the question and answer part of the pageant… “and… such as… the Iraq…”

  62. [re=110274]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Well, I’m a chick, but if you’re looking for a catfight you’ll have to wait for the backstage footage of this Palin Pageant, I’ll just bet she was the one putting cayenne pepper in the vaseline the other girls rub on their teeth (for that shiny shiny smile!)

  63. [re=110217]PoliTacky[/re]: There is nothing more attractive than a woman in a swimsuit AND high heels. Talk about real class. I’m talking Paul Fussell Class.

  64. [re=110374]Valerie[/re]: haha, Oh, let’s just divide it up evenly, we can chop it up on the ‘Heart’ mirror I won at a local carnival ring-toss game.

  65. [re=110111]Reefpilot[/re]: When I saw this video for the first time a while back, I literally wet myself from laughing. I’m not ashamed to say it.

  66. [re=110301]helenaHandbasket500[/re]: NOOOOOZ! He ish a cylon daddy wid a hot cylon chick havin his bebe! (she and cindy do have similar hair, no? specially when he hallucinates and sees that old chick.)

  67. America has become the asshole capital of the world.

    If foreigners were allowed to vote for President the Republicans and Democrats would get no votes.
    This is the land of the clueless.

    Keep electing the same gov’t that keeps telling their stooges “Americans are smart.”

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