SEXY POLITICIANS  1:11 pm September 26, 2008

America’s Hottest Politician Has Fantastic Website

by Jim Newell

Oh look it’s Carey Torrice, County Commissioner in Macomb County, Michigan! Some e-mail we just got, completely unrelated, tells us that Macomb County is a bellwether for the state. Important! And Carey Torrice, who recently won TMZ’s search for America’s hottest politician, pretty much runs it. And yet, despite having a hot piece of ass as County Commissioner, Macomb residents are complaining about the TMZ article, which “has featured photos taken from Torrice’s own Web site that show her in various sexy costumes.” Well then! Let’s check out Torrice’s website shall we?

So she was in some movie at some point, and it kind of screams “straight-to-video” and probably no one has ever seen it because why? Right. This is kind of awesome though. “Look at me, Carey, with my legs brutally sawed off and pools of blood collecting!” HA HA HA WHEEE!

Ah well there’s a boob.

“Modeling gloves.” Is that what the kids call it these days?

LIEUTENANT DONOVAN!!! He’s so hot she probably does him a lot. Look at him cover his boner with his police helmet. Why even bother?

Re-elect Carey Torrice! She’s a star.

Angry residents jeer ‘Hot Politician’ Torrice at Macomb board meeting [Detroit News]
[CareyTorrice.com]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 104 comments }

ManchuCandidate September 26, 2008 at 1:14 pm

That’s cleavage I can believe in!

shortsshortsshorts September 26, 2008 at 1:15 pm

PULL PALIN NOW. NEW VEEP! NEW VEEP!

ManchuCandidate September 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm

[re=109875]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Sorry, she’s a Demrat.

wildeoats September 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Are you guys cari, cari. . . .

“Mocking?”

Yeah, that’s it.

Larry Fine September 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm

She has just been invited to my debate drinking-game party.

CollegeStudent September 26, 2008 at 1:17 pm

[re=109875]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah, but can you see Russia from Macomb County? Can you even see Canada?

Dave J. September 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Drill, baby, drill! Er, something like that.

Sussemilch September 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm

All that, and she can see Canada from her house too.

scotterl September 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm

our polls are rising…

Mumble Softly September 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Can we have her debate Obama instead of McCain?

Thats a set of tits we can ALL believe in !!

AngryBlakGuy September 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm

…please tell me she eats moose burgers!

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=109875]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Agreed. Why couldn’t Wonkette have picked up on this earlier so she could have been considered? Now we are stuck with Palin. :(

dano September 26, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Nice. the only thing missing is the stripper pole.

edgydrifter September 26, 2008 at 1:21 pm

Sexiest? No. Porniest? Yes.

Personally, I’ll take that Tymoshenko gal. You know, the Ukranian one with the braid-halo? She’s like an angel–a super hottt XXX angel.

TurdBlossom September 26, 2008 at 1:21 pm

Judging by wonkette’s record, she will be tapped for a major national position in about 8 weeks.

Tommy Says Soooo September 26, 2008 at 1:21 pm

I grew up in Macomb County. Let me assure you she probably moved there especially to win elections. The Macomb County female, akin to the Macomb County male, is not attractive.

So much so I had to leave.

I still am not attractive but I am less easily repulsed by my fellow citizens. How they fell, who the hell cares….

shortsshortsshorts September 26, 2008 at 1:22 pm

[re=109887]CollegeStudent[/re]: You can probably see Detroit, which is a helluvawarzone. I think that counts for foreign policy experience.

[re=109880]ManchuCandidate[/re]: In what respect, Charlie?

greatgooglymoogly September 26, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Anorexic.

Maj. Major Major Major September 26, 2008 at 1:23 pm

The CCILF!

NoWireHangers September 26, 2008 at 1:23 pm

RE: Third Picture
Raising the flag…

loquaciousmusic September 26, 2008 at 1:24 pm

According to her web banner, she is not only Macomb County Commissioner, but she is also Macomb County Army Staff Sgt. HOTTIE and Officer BOOBIES.

Oliver September 26, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Not tryin’ to harsh anyone’s gig, here, but kind of a buttaface, don’tcha think? And those hooters look fake.

gliberal September 26, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Bimbette, the Macomb County Tramp

WhatTheHeck September 26, 2008 at 1:25 pm

I see why Putin flys over her large county.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 1:25 pm

My county commissioner is an old fat bald guy. But he does have big tits.

mr.november September 26, 2008 at 1:25 pm

My hometown. No way.

Serolf Divad September 26, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Wow, so she’s one of those desktop stripper girls from the adult websites?

Inadequate Blackmail September 26, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I had no idea you could get elected in Michigan if you were also “an official hottie at the Hottiefest.” Shit like that probably flies in California, but in Michigan?

PoliTacky September 26, 2008 at 1:28 pm

She’s like the whole group of idiots, D-list attention whores, porn stars and loser assholes that ran for Governor in the ’03 California recall election, all rolled into one!

Deepthroat September 26, 2008 at 1:28 pm

The one where she’s “modeling gloves to donate to the police department” SCARES me.

johnbpt September 26, 2008 at 1:29 pm

The best part of her website is the heading at the top right: “Actress – Private Eye.”

slappypaddy September 26, 2008 at 1:29 pm

i wanna be arrested in her county… kin i be busted there? but i’ll never be so busted as she is… who cares she’s a demo, put ‘er on a ticket, any ticket… she’s got a gun, a hat, a badge, and her own shire reeve, an’ udder things… put her on jumpin jack mcnuggets ticket an’ take dat bible spice off, diss is spicier, we can all vote for her an’ den go melt down, iss happenin to me right now where’s my medz…

Inadequate Blackmail September 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Oh Lord, here are the names of her cats: Marilyn Meow, Madelin Monroe (Maddie) and Miss Kitty Merlot.

Tommy Says Soooo September 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

She does kinda look like what would happen if Ann Coulter evolved into a human and had tons of plastic surgery paid for by a foreign businessman who demanded hooters and wasn’t so much worried about the face.

CrunchyKnee September 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

I wonder how many whore diamonds she has?

Deepthroat September 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

she kinda makes Paris Hilton look classy, no?

NavinJohnson September 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

She’s a Demrat?

Then I say pull Biden, then let’s talk about the format for the VP debate.

ManchuCandidate September 26, 2008 at 1:31 pm

[re=109931]PoliTacky[/re]:
Watchyou talking ’bout Politacky? She’s no Gary Coleman.

Nizzles! September 26, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=109919]Oliver[/re]: Oh, come on now, back off… She’s Real! I’ve heard summering in Macomb County produces that rockin’ tan. Or maybe she got it at her disney destination wedding! Jealous!

PuffAdder September 26, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=109904]edgydrifter[/re]: You make “porniest” sound like a negative.

donner_froh September 26, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Biggest town in the county is Warren, MI, where they stopped showing the city council meetings on local access cable because the regular shouting matches, threats of violence and shoving matches among the council members combined with hysterical screaming, fist fights and arrests in the audience were so embarrassing.

Hopey dont play that game September 26, 2008 at 1:35 pm

She gives new meaning to “polling the electorate…”

Hunter Gathers September 26, 2008 at 1:35 pm

Catch Carey Torrice in her new Wicked Pictures feature, “Debaitin’”. Co starring Ron Jeremy and Long Dong Silver. There’s a budget crisis in Macomb County, and it’s up to Carrie to save the day with her special legislative ‘maneuvers’!!! But she only has 2 hours to ‘pull’ it off, or it’s back to the Jiggly Room.

donner_froh September 26, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=109942]NavinJohnson[/re]: A wet T-shirt contest would work.

freakishlystrong September 26, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=109938]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: What! No fuckin’ Daisy Duke?

ManchuCandidate September 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm

[re=109952]donner_froh[/re]:
Jerry Springer?

Carrie_Okie September 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm

A certain sweater kitten in Florida just slashed her wrists.

PoliTacky September 26, 2008 at 1:37 pm

[re=109945]ManchuCandidate[/re]: hmmm… maybe I was thinking of her when she’s on her knees!

shortsshortsshorts September 26, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Can you still buy rabbits for pets or meat in central Michigan? I haven’t had delicious bunny feet in way too long now.

Miller September 26, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Does she have any handicapped kids? Not national politics material then. Someone has got to tell her to get a different Halloween costume than different colored Barbara Boxer’s. No repeats. How about a sexy cat?

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

slappypaddy September 26, 2008 at 1:41 pm

i know i know, i was sexiss a minnit ago, an’ i pologize, didn’t mean to offend if i did, but i’m red-blooded merkun… i like her gun…

greatgooglymoogly September 26, 2008 at 1:45 pm

[re=109952]donner_froh[/re]: They don’t call it a “battleground state” for nothing, you know.

HuskyMescan September 26, 2008 at 1:47 pm

mmmmmm strippers

Citizen Kang September 26, 2008 at 1:47 pm

[re=109919]Oliver[/re]:

How can you tell when the only true way to know is by the time-honored taste test? It’s amazing how little it matters that they are fake. My definition of fake tits are tits which I cannot touch. In that regard all tits are fake. I still love just about every one of them.

freakishlystrong September 26, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Yes, but what are her POVs on the issues?

donner_froh September 26, 2008 at 1:49 pm

[re=109966]ManchuCandidate[/re]: But unedited so really dull. Fat morons sitting around for an hour, a few of them scream for a couple of minutes, someone throws a punch, then back to the numbing mormality of cutting the budget to eliminate an office that helps returning Iraq war vets figure out VA paperwork and bureaucracy.

Kev-O-Tron September 26, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Time to go to the office bathroom for a little “Kev-O-Tron time.”

donner_froh September 26, 2008 at 1:51 pm

[re=109919]Oliver[/re]: Rock hard silicone (silly cones). Not that there is anything wrong with that (those).

Keram2 September 26, 2008 at 1:53 pm

One more crack in the glass ceiling… or I guess in her case, the mirrored ceiling.

HedonismBot September 26, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Palin/Torrice 2012!!

Oxy Moron September 26, 2008 at 1:56 pm

Hot? check. Sexy? check. “Politician”? check. Well, that’s my entire checklist, she’s qualified to be VP. Sign her up!

twoeightnine September 26, 2008 at 1:57 pm

She’s pretty hot for being 99 years old. http://www.myspace.com/careytorrice

Rodney Badger September 26, 2008 at 1:59 pm

The shot of her working out (http://www.careytorrice.com/gallery_category.php?cat_id=9#15) is full of win.

Monkey September 26, 2008 at 2:01 pm

We are all moving to Michigan NOW!

rambone September 26, 2008 at 2:02 pm

[re=110012]Rodney Badger[/re]: Bonerific!

forgracie September 26, 2008 at 2:03 pm

I just got sick to my pants.

Tommy Says Soooo September 26, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=110014]Monkey[/re]: Bring vittles. It’s a ghost state, baby. You can have, like, Aretha Franklin’s mansion for $37. She’ll leave the chicken bones in the sofa for you.

Tommy Says Soooo September 26, 2008 at 2:10 pm

[re=109993]freakishlystrong[/re]: Face down….

facehead September 26, 2008 at 2:12 pm

[re=109875]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You go to the election with the VEEP you have, not the one you don’t have or the one you wish you had with the bigger TITS AND HOLY SHIT I WANNA MAKE POLICY WITH THIS HO!!! I’VE BEEN NAUGHTY PUT THE CUFFS ON MIRANDIZE ME ALL NIGHT LONG!!! I’LL BE HER SPECIAL VICTIM IF SHE’LL BE MY UNIT!!! THROW ME IN HER TANK AND LET ME LICK THE BOTTOMS OF IT!!! SHE WAS A STRIPPER FOR CRAP SAKE GIVE THIS WOMAN MORE POLITICAL POWER!!!

Gopherit v2.0 September 26, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=109942]NavinJohnson[/re]: You mean VP wet T-Shirt contest…..which would be favorable to the Dems with Biden, too.

Politicalchef September 26, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Noooooo!

Don’t you realize that this is exactly why we have Sarah Palin?!

You are worse than Dr. Frankenstein – you create monsters not to love them, but to mock them,

RobPetrified September 26, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Its easy to see that this will be the most popular post of the day.
Wonkette, we have boobosity, so go ahead and take the afternoon off. You deserve it.
The Republicans may have glasses and hair helmets, but the Demrats has BOOBIES!
Hmm, which candidate would I rather have a beer with.
The blond with bigg titts, or the shrill harpy with the cool glasses?
I, for one, would have to vote for the Democrat.
Early and often.

RobPetrified September 26, 2008 at 2:19 pm

“Loo tenant Donovan!”
“She’s got LAIGS!”

Servo September 26, 2008 at 2:19 pm

A trampoline at the debates = a landslide at the booths.
*boing-boing* giggle giggle *boing-boing* giggle

capitol hillbilly September 26, 2008 at 2:20 pm

[re=109942]NavinJohnson[/re]: oh yeah, jello wrasslin’ !!!

loquaciousmusic September 26, 2008 at 2:23 pm

[re=110012]Rodney Badger[/re]: Here’s the link to the actual picture, which you can download and fap to while you’re not watching WALNUTS yelling about how James Meredith shouldn’t have been admitted.

Norbert September 26, 2008 at 2:28 pm

barf

shortsshortsshorts September 26, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=110032]facehead[/re]: But would she take my 3 a.m. phone call?

DoctorCulturae September 26, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Our politics have now officially become exactly like Italy’s. And we have our Cicciolina. Hope everyone is enjoying the front row seat to the degeneration of an empire.

lawrenceofthedesert September 26, 2008 at 2:33 pm

For sheer Freudian hysteria, it’s hard to beat Wonkette.

Gopherit v2.0 September 26, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=110090]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Those are called appointments, I think.

And yes, I think she does.

demian September 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm

wonkette is hotter.

Chuckie Jesus September 26, 2008 at 2:51 pm

I got stopped by a lady cop
In my automobile
She said get out and spead your legs
And then she tried to cop a feel
That cop she was all dressed in blue
Was she pretty? Boy I’m tellin’ you
She stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said “what’s up?” now suck my dick
Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand
On her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
Proppin’ her up on the black and white
Unzipped and slipped “ooo that’s tight”
I swatted her like no swat team can
Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Sir Psycho, Sir Psycho, yeah!

Schadenfried September 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm

[re=109880]ManchuCandidate[/re]: They’re usally hotter than Rethugs.

Schadenfried September 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Damn, she looks like Kelly Ripa’s porn star sister.

Crapola September 26, 2008 at 3:14 pm

I want to motorboat her.

sanantonerose September 26, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=109932]Deepthroat[/re]: Yeah, have the gloves already been used?

professor.cj September 26, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Wonkette made Fridays Fun again! More governmint porn starz, plz.

PoliTacky September 26, 2008 at 3:34 pm

RELATED:

Sarah Heath (Palin) SWIMSUIT COMPETITION VIDEO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qQKdHxeMkk

lulz

slavojzizek September 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=109933]johnbpt[/re]: I want to know more about this private eye business. Is it a Charles Townsend Agency sort of thing, where she and other hot girls get sent out undercover as strippers or whatever every week?

Rusty Shackleford September 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm

[re=109931]PoliTacky[/re]: Seriously, she looks like Mary Carey’s little sister. Smaller boobies, but way cuter and way less mileage.

AnglRdr September 26, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Do you all remember the last time you boys went all fanboy on a lady pol? Something to do with “GILF”?

Thanks for that.

Please let’s learn from your mistakes.

PoliTacky September 26, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=110222]Rusty Shackleford[/re]: I heard that Mary Carey puts out, but Palin is just a cock-tease!

Rush September 26, 2008 at 3:50 pm

I heard she also likes brain enema’s

Schadenfried September 26, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=110226]AnglRdr[/re]: Very true.

seriesoftubescleaner September 26, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Bleach blonde and boney does NOT equal hot. Give Olive Oil a bottle of peroxide and some silicone and America will put her on the cover of Maxim.

Kev-O-Tron September 26, 2008 at 4:17 pm

I wanna blingee that photo.

Number6 September 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm

I want to insert my lengthy amendment into her enabling legislation.

Deepthroat September 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm

next friday, can we get a profile and picture of some hot throbbing political cock action to drool over? Any nekid pictures of that San Francisco mayor dude?

2druk2phluq September 26, 2008 at 4:34 pm

I hope she’s available for out of town “endorsements.” She can finger through my briefs any time. I wonder if she takes issue with subpoenas. She can habeas my corpus. I want Carey Torrice to handle my litigation… hell, none of that is funny.

Uh. Hmm. Boobies?

Yeah, I’ve got nothin’.

bitchincamaro September 26, 2008 at 4:40 pm

“…a camera crew…was on hand…to get footage of her.” I’d settle for beaverage.

Borat September 26, 2008 at 5:18 pm

ha ha ha
http://www.careytorrice.com/gallery_category.php?cat_id=9#99
Chexk out the photo “Carey wins the crown”

She doesn’t even know she’s got her sash on backwards. She must have been looking in the mirror when she put it on. Walnuts should be all over that kind of signaling

S. Cullen Bonz September 26, 2008 at 7:23 pm

[re=109873]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Beavage Cleavage

Tubs McGee September 26, 2008 at 9:18 pm

No! No! No!

Remember the last time you showcased a hot political lady on this site? She turned out to be a hugely incompetent power-hungry loon.

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