Check out this piece from Washington Post “color” writer Dana Milbank detailing the theatrics of the Ted Stevens corruption trial. Ted Stevens’ defense lawyer’s strategy is, of course, to paint Stevens as the Common Man, who likes to go huntin’ and stuff. It’s just his dumb wife who’s actually the miserably corrupt turd Senator: “Yes, Stevens, the first sitting senator to be indicted in a generation, failed to report a home renovation and other pricey gifts from a pipeline company. But, his lawyer told the jury yesterday, it was his wife who reviewed the bills and took care of the finances.” [WP]
Ted Stevens Blames Everything On His Wife
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You can only teabag the Merkin people for a renumerative forty year career in Congress. Then it’s blame the missus.
That Stevens is setting a fine example of manhood by throwing his wife under the moose.
I’m betting that their bedroom conversation is going to be a little awkward.
I had no idea Sen. Ted did such an astonishing imitation of Barbara Bush.
That’s a tube that was always probably clogged.
Huhh? Where’d the cartoons go? I was laffing, and I refreshed the interweb dealie and the curmudgeon was disappeared?
Ha, ha, ha! Stevens also isn’t allowed to speak unless spoken to at home and has to wear the dog collar at all times.
I hope they keep asking Palin if she’s going to vote for Teddy boy…
What. A. Bitch!
Ah, the ageless my wife is a douchebag defense. Yay Senator Ted, you’ve made us all proud to be Americans.
[re=109446]DoctorCulturae[/re]: I’ll cede you Babs Bush, though I thought it was an albino Nipsey Russell afro thang. But is that Dana Plato in the pic with him?
The prosecutor is having fun:
“She [the prosecutor] ridiculed the free services done for him by Veco, the pipeline company: ‘We reach for the Yellow Pages — he reached for Veco.’”
Wow, that Stevens guy is such a stand-up mensch, isn’t he? I wonder if she ate his homework too.
The Dems just declared a sleepover on CNN. They’re “staying in session until this thing gets done.” Wonder if the Senate will continue ordering their elitist Thai takeout.
How much TP does one need to wipe such a miserable shit-stain? Two-ply? THREE-ply? THINK OF THE TREES….
Come on, y’alls. His other defense is that he simply didn’t notice that a big oil company paid for his home renovation and refurnishing. This new explanation sounds relatively sane in comparison.
Wow, that Stevens guy is such a stand-up mensch. I wonder if she ate his homework too.
Ahh, the bitch set me up defense. Well played, sir.
[re=109463]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Is it just me, or has the last 12 months resembled the craziest shit from the last two seasons of The West Wing?
[re=109475]Hedley Lamar[/re]: even better: the flighty, shopping-crazy, profligate-spending, impossible-to-control little wifey defense.
Oh, well that makes perfect sense. Whose wife hasn’t just called up her husband’s oil executive friends and, without telling him, had the house lifted up and a new story put in underneath? And that’s exactly the sort of thing a guy wouldn’t notice. I’ll bet he never notices when she changes her hairstyle either.
My wife ate my homework.
Apologies for the repetition. I was having a McCain style computer moment.
[re=109488]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Good think you are in culinary school, I guess.
Keep it classy, Uncle Ted!!
Morning has broken to reveal that it was Cat Stevens’ fault.
His wife probably wanted that Brriaadge to Nohhwwher as well, meddlesome bitch…
[re=109482]obfuscator[/re]: Yeah, but with 100% less naked Rob Lowe (mores the pity).
[re=109515]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I always wished that Sam Seaborn would have attended the DNC in the 6th season finale. He could have been caught up in some teenage sex scandal.
It worked for McCain during the whole Keating Five thing – he threw Cindy under the bus for that, but at least she got to take a lot of painkillers as a result.
[re=109537]obfuscator[/re]: Ha! Too true.
Yeah, but did he yell “The bitch set me up”? I can relate though. I know I always tell my wife to stop accepting home renovations from pipeline companies, but she never listens. Women.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Ah ha! The classic “my wife ate my homework defense”! 60% of the time it works every time.
What’s really great is when Uncle Ted and his mouthpieces say, “Ted paid all the bills he saw.” Ha ha ha — he never saw any bills, which is the whole point of this trial.
Send him to Gitmo right now, and save the taxpayers a few nickels they can give to Goldman Sachs.
[re=109506]Sussemilch[/re]: I didn’t believe he was married to Cat Stevens, but he IS. Here he and Cat are leaving the courthouse. I don’t know why he’d want to set up such a pretty lady — oh, Cat is the person on the RIGHT, you say? Uh, well, um, ahh…
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0aBU3pLeQzecu/340x.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.daylife.com/photo/0aBU3pLeQzecu&h=514&w=340&sz=46&hl=en&start=1&usg=__JJEBwP5Y1asWB7fqn-00FvJmfzE=&tbnid=6FI3UBJ_LjziUM:&tbnh=131&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522Catherine%2BStevens%2522%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG
He ought to just go ahead and blame Sarah Palin, since she’s going to be Queen High Priestess and can just have the prosecutress flogged.
So that is what happened to Dana Milbank. He’s been exiled to Alaska. Cool.
I’m just trying to picture this. Ted comes down stairs in his robe and his wife is at the kitchen table. He get’s his cup of coffee. He looks outside and sees a construction crew working on his house.
“Honey? Why is their a crew adding an extension to the house?”
“Don’t worry dear. It’s paid for.”
“Oh, all right. I’m going back to bed.”
[re=109506]Sussemilch[/re]: Don’t tell me that Uncle Ted has a Muslin in the family!
God, Republican family values at work. It’s a beautiful thing. Be sure to read the Defense of Marriage Act closely for the new “marriage must be a union between a man and a woman because who the hell else can you pin the blame on if there ain’t a woman? Sheesh!” addendum.
His wife gives him Viagra so he won’t roll out of bed at night
What a dick. I hope the next time she “services” him, she uses lots of teeth.
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