Wonkette
Wonkette tipster “Joe,” a FORMER Washington Mutual account holder, writes: “So I went to check my account and saw this. Apparently the Chinese who now own my account can’t bear to watch either.” YOU RACIST, but close enough! FEEL THE WHOO HOO!
SO SHOULD WE LEARN MANDARIN OR CANTONESE?
They Are Coming
Read More:
2:35 AM
on Fri September 26 2008
By
Jim Newell
2135 Views
You FOOLS!
Those aren’t Chinese!!!!
They’re (North) VIETNAMESE!!!!!
IT’S STARTING! THE NVA’S SECRET BRAINWASHING OF WALNUTS IS BEGINNING TO BEAR ITS BITTER COMMUNIST FRUITS!!!!
Five and a half years! They worked on him for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! And then waited until this CRITICAL moment to trigger their Sinister Oriental Plot to Collapse America’s Economy!!!!!!
Those Yellow DEVILS!!!
Time to move me money elsewhere methinks.
Peek-a-Boo! We Bought WAMU! Fuck You!™
WaMu Customers
Welcome to JPMorgan Chase
You will be assimilated.
Resistance is futile.
ha ha chinamen, I don’t have any money any more! I blew it all on an iPhone today, which is also why I’m up at 3 am. I should call hillary or something.
Lower left corner of the pic: Feel the Whoo hoo!
I think this headline in the Times is certainly appropriate:
A Year-Round Summer Place: Make your uninsulated house comfortable for winter use
…because you’re living there now, suckas!
Holy SHIT, is that supposed to be kid from The Omen?! Have the Chinese have already begun re-filming our movies? What’s next, are they going to start covertly attempting to show us up in the next space race while everyone in America is too busy divesting all of their savings, burying their money in their backyards, and stocking up on canned goods and that ice-cream flavored powder stuff that astronauts eat? Oh, wait…
Does that tab read “Chinking and Savings”?
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/china-okays-margin-trading-short/story.aspx?guid=%7B53CD0270%2D8284%2D458C%2DB36D%2D839F800DF017%7D
Hedge on volatility, and fuck george-on-the-dollar right in the face.
Is this a firehose for spraying money at china, can’t turn it off? Naw. Currency a transparent market. HA HA SHOGUN!
MARKET TIP BUY WAMU STOCK AT ALL TIME BARGAIN PRICE BUY NOW STRONG BUY FUNDAMENTALS STRONG THIS MESSAGE APPROVED BY “DEUS EX MACHINIST” MCCAIN.
It’s a beautiful illustration of the new close relationship between regulatory agencies (left) and Wall Street (right).
All I know is my 401k is losing about the amount of my yearly income for each of the last two weeks. I am not amused. I desparately need a reason to think of Whore Diamonds right now.
Walnuts…. FUCK!
All your debt service are belong to us.
Will you be paying with silly paper dollars, or with Yuan, Mr. Paulson?
Cute Asian kids are always the most adorable before they’re stricken by poisoned milk.
Can we all at least agree that this proves that the Baby Boomers are the worse generation? Hell, the Millennials will being paying off the Boomers’ mistakes into their dotage.
Breaking News: Beavers Fuck Trojans in Writhing Late Turnover
(Trojans) coach Pete Carroll said. “They didn’t hide what they were doing, they just did it. We couldn’t stop it…”
“It’s who plays hard,” Rodgers said.
“…everybody, every position. There’s not need to point fingers,” Sanchez said.
“The Beavers certainly seemed to have the Trojans figured out, holding them…”
- By ANNE M. PETERSON, AP Sports Writer
Your taste of the Beav. “They Are Coming.”
Thank you.
I have $5.47 in my wamu acct. Take it, you greedy scum. I’m gonna bank with someone who cares, like B of A / Merrill Lynch!!
The 4 things our government must do if they want our trillion dollars.
Face it fellahs. Soon we’ll all either be working for Microsoft or Apple, or cleaning house for the nice Chinese couple in that new gated community on the other side of town.
Leave it to Walnuts to destroy the economy. Today just might be the shitstorm to end all shitstorms. The market is not going to be happy. People are going to be pulling thier money out like fucking crazy in about 4 hours. All the house GOPers walked out because thier plan was bullshit (eliminate the capitol gains tax! remove what regulations that are left!). That and they are scared of Grover ‘Pig Fucker’ Norquist. I may not like the idea of a bailout, but it has to happen, and soon. If the credit market seizes up, alot of people are going to get fucked in the ass. Like the poor bastards at WaMu who are going on the dole later today. God help us all.
Hey Johnny Mac - GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.
Hunter Gathers: When Republicans get together lots of people get fucked in the ass regardless of the situation (especially each other).
bago: soup?
i usually love wonkette, but this racism is not funny and beneath the quality of this site.
SisterTruth: RACIST!!!
As long as those inscrutable celestials keep buying Australian rocks, I’m very happy to have pulled all of my money out of the US last year and fully invest it here in kangaroos and Men At Work albums.
Bless his heart, look at the ears on that child.
I think probably Mandarin, Hindi and Russian, so we can properly understand and obey ALL our new 21st century financial overlords.
teebob2000: We are going to have to learn Martian. On Monday, our new Martian overlords will come down and purchace the entire country for a pittance. M. A. R. S. Mars, bitches.
WE MUST DESTROY AMERICA TO SAVE ME
/walnuts
Wakarimasa - wah-care-ee-ma-sah… oh, hell, that’s Japanese. Does anybody know where I can get a Chinese dictionary? I really want to make a good impression when they get here. It could mean the difference between working at a fertilizer processing plant or carrying the bags at a Hotel Xi-Cheng.
Is it dogs or cats that they like better? (No, not as pets. Bear with me.)
I’m going towade into Mexico, and maybe get a nice job harvesting agave. Or weed.
Hunter Gathers: Funny you should say that. Yesterday, Mars bought the Wrigley company.
I think I’m ready to sell my baseball cards now!!
There’s an HSBC in the lobby of my building. I’m a gonna go down there now and open an account. From now on I’m skipping the middle-man and going straight to Hong Kong.
Ngoh gokdak leihdeih yinggoi hohk poutungwaa. Guangdongwaa haih taai sanfu hohk la!!
I want to know which marketing genius came up with that lame ass and sexually charged “feel the whoo hoo!” trademarked phrase.
This was an early indication of supreme FAIL.
I for one welcome our preteen Chinese overlords.
The Chinese Olympic Gymnastics Team bought Wamu?
comradepaulson: Thankfully, there are no age restrictions on corporate takeovers.
wow. just… wow. I am officially shitting my pants
sanantonerose: I wanted to find this person and beat them with a sock full of grapefruits. I hope the marketing genius is drenched with alcohol this Sunday, thinking of his terrible, terrible assholry in selling the image of this funzoid bank that turned out to be so utterly inept. Say, maybe they should have let the old fusty bald conservative bankers run their fucking joke of a bank instead of the young hip guy who was like a bleached Dave Chappelle. What a chumpion I was to have banked with these dickheads for as long as I did.
Ergh. Same here. And they’d NEVER raise my overdraft amount?!…oh.