Wonkette
There are no more nights in politics or business — only the endless horrible grind of collapse and fuckery, 24 hours a day, including this newest chapter in our latest, greatest depression: Washington Mutual has collapsed, and was closed by the Federal Government late Thursday night. It’s the biggest bank failure in U.S. history. And the bipartisan congressional-White House-Treasury bailout deal that might have stopped the bloodshed, well John McCain visited Washington for the first time in half a year and wrecked EVERYTHING.
First, the WaMu news:
Washington Mutual Inc was closed by the U.S. government in by far the largest failure of a U.S. bank, and its banking assets were sold to JP Morgan Chase & Co for $1.9 billion.
Thursday’s seizure and sale is the latest historic step in U.S. government attempts to clean up a banking industry littered with toxic mortgage debt. Negotiations over a $700 billion bailout of the entire financial system stalled in Washington on Thursday.
Oh, look at that little newsy connection there: WaMu collapsed and was shut down tonight as McCain wrecked the Treasury’s compromise that was carefully and delicately worked out over seven days between the White House and both parties in both the House and the Senate. Well done, Maverick!
Now, onward to what exactly the grandstanding idiot actually managed to ruin during his explaratory visit to Washington, where he is supposedly a senator yet hasn’t been seen in six months and has absolutely no role on any of the economic committees in Congress responsible for this legislation.
McCain showed up, said nothing during the negotiations — he had no idea what they were talking about — but apparently put House Republican John Boehner up to introducing an entirely new proposal at the last minute. And McCain wouldn’t even commit to that one! (Again, he has no idea what any of these people are talking about. Cindy counts the millions at the McCain Mansions.) Oh, and then the whole thing collapsed and everybody went home:
It was the very outcome the White House had said it intended to avoid, with partisan presidential politics appearing to trample what had been exceedingly delicate Congressional negotiations.
Senator Christopher J. Dodd, Democrat of Connecticut and chairman of the Senate banking committee, denounced the session as “a rescue plan for John McCain,” and proclaimed it a waste of precious hours that could have been spent negotiating.
Anyway, who knows if the bailout would’ve worked? Who knows if the compromise would’ve done some good? What seems pretty clear in this first dark hour of Friday Morning is that Washington Mutual could not hold on long enough to survive another day or week of McCain’s grandstanding time-outs, and if McCain is capable of sticking to “his word” for more than 15 minutes or so, he may well sit out the first presidential debate tonight.
We have an idea for Barack Obama: Bring Henry Paulson and George W. Bush and Chris Dodd and Nancy Pelosi and David freakin’ Letterman to Mississippi tonight, and let them tell America what John McCain pulled on Thursday. (But only for like five minutes, because we are all tired of these people … except Letterman. Letterman can stay.)
WaMu is largest U.S. bank failure [Yahoo News]
Sell! Sell! McCain Is Tanking! [Boston Globe]
Demolition Accomplished.
Holy moley Jeezum Crow.
At least Nero had the decency to sit and play his fucking fiddle instead of throwing more babies on the fire.
Oh, please. Everyone knows by now that McNuggets spent most of the day w/House Rep., esp. one Min. Leader, John B. As Barney Frank put it so succinctly and accurately: Just like Andy Kaufmann, who sang “here he comes to save the day/Mighty Mouse is on the way!”–here comes McCain. Down in polls, OMG!! gotta do someth—wait!! let’s hold up the Whole Nation! then restate the same agreement with oh, say, 1 change I (Me, John McNuggets!!) put in!! Voila! Hero! Election over!!! slam dunk!
The two-faced, lying, greedy, whores will stop at nothing, literally–even to the selling of their souls— to win this election.
Excuse me, I’m going to be sick. (Hope the “whore” word won’t get me banned? — everyone’s So Polite Now! I like it!)
JP Morgan is all like ‘Whoo-hoo’!!
…well its a nice globally warmed afternoon in Australia at the moment..just thought as first post important to set tone..
Oh, and PS in that pix he looks like all the smug-mobile folks looked on South Park in the episode where they were driving Prius’s and smelling their own stinky ah, flatulence.
WaMu is in the tank
I know you hate Walnuts. In a world of fifty candidates, both are in my bottom hundred. However, even if for grandstanding horrible reasons he is opposed to this, there’s some sort of deal keeping this fiscal anal rape from happening just right yet. I see him sort of as an inanimate carbon rod, holding the door closed. He may not deserve a parade (though he’s going to get one), but he kept us from burning up on reentry, after we let the ants out and filled the cabin with potato chips.
I never thought I’d see the day when I identified with a Republican from Alabama, but this is no time to be railroaded into giving people who already have money more money, especially after they made some of the money they have by taking it from people who currently have no money, or house, or car, or pants. Because these people walked away from everything. And the people we’re giving the money to are people who, in spite of being able to access a perfectly serviceable blowjob on Craigslist for under the cost of a bottle of wine at the Four Seasons, chose instead to pay several thousand dollars.
That’s why I basically equate the bailout with subsidized blow jobs for balding testosterone addled morons who went to Choate and Yale.
I just cracked the code. Walnuts! has decided to ensure that the next administration will have such a magnificently unmanageable shitpile to deal with that Barry will just be all, “Fuuuuuuck… dude, you can have it.”
Pure unadulterated Machiavellian genius. Rove wept.
While John McCain is in Washington “fixing” things, you think he’d mind fashioning me a bright, shiny, new hobo-stick? I’m afraid I invested my old one in WaMu.
Note 1: The fact that Washington Mutual was bought, as opposed to simply filing for bankruptcy, is a sign that the worst of the crisis may be past us.
Note 2: The fact that John McCain clearly would rather destroy the entire US financial system (and the US economy) than lose the election is clear. Letting this man play FDR on our dime is the kind of stupid idea that destroys empires.
His blatantly political attempt to ensure that no solution was possible without his say-so implies that, as president, he will be no more than an attention-seeking toddler, eager to please his country by “solving” the problems he allows to fester. Not unlike a certain current President of the United States, come to think of it.
Note 3: I need to either sober up enough to do things more productive than comment here or get drunk enough to enjoy it for the rest of time. I love this country, but if it elects this douche-nozzle its president, then I really can’t see a reason not to live the remainder of my days drunk of my ass, clutching my rifle on the roof of my house, waiting for the Commies to just try to take my rifle from me. FYI, you can take it from my cold, dead hands, you Red bastards.
Walnuts is WAMU = Wicked Asshole Mutilating U.S.
Wait — how is it that JP Morgan Chase is well capitalized enough to pay $1.9 billion for WaMu’s banking assets? I thought all Wall Street concerns were in danger of TOTAL FAIL?
obfuscator: Actually, I bet Rove is laughing his ass off. Republican or not, he still doesn’t like McCain. And I think the overall schemes is that the gubbermint is so fucked up at this point that if a Dem gets in office, they’ll be totally screwed, ensuring that Republicans get elected again the next go round for the Congress AND the Presidency.
…why are Barry and Mccain tied again, according to Gallup?
WHY?!?!?!?! *nancy kerrigan voice*
Wait, we’re in the tank for Letterman now?
I think I’ve about had all the flip-flopping I can stand, Layne.
So Bush didn’t care about black people, but did care about rich old white men. However, McCain doesn’t even care about them. He cares for no one but himself and his bizarre attempt to reach the white house. Once he got elected I don’t think he would have any idea what to do since all he has been concerned with for the past decade was trying to get elected.
I’ll say this for him: The bastard managed to grab all the news cycle for himself. This is just too surreal. Wait is that smoke? Is the Reichstag burning?
sanantonerose: Don’t harsh my mellow. I agree, though. Romney/Huckabee/Giuliani 2012!!!! Let the bloodsport begin!
In other news, I’m glad I’ll soon have a rational excuse to drink 8 days a week.
Oh my God, he’s ruining America before he even gets elected.
knoxtheharpy: Well, apparently you can still get a subprime loan, if you know the right people. In China.
Looks like college football is failing, too.
I drink to you. Here’s to you…
Yuppie: He’s a proactive old motherfucker.
I’m so tired of this bullshit. McCain is not fit to be president and I’m very, very afraid that he’s going to win it. Even a grandstanding stunt like this plays to the base. Combine that with the Bradley effect and well, we’re all just fucked 5 ways from Sunday.
Goddamnit.
JadedDIssonance: Letterman’s OK, but I couldn’t vote for him. Choosing that sickening bald ‘musician’ suckup to be his No. 2 shows really bad judgment.
Basically, this is like the worst Ayn Rand novel you could possibly imagine.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: I’m not sure if that’s true as most of the polls have been trending to Obama (probably more than it appears considering McCain’s latest brush with insanity). However, the NY Times has one of those analysis type stories saying it wasn’t a great week for Obama either because he, apparently, was acting too calm and thoughtful during the week. Apparently, that’s not a good trait to show in a crisis.
Yay! I (guess I used to) bank there!
Now I have another reason to hate this reanimated a-hoe.
TJBeck: Not sure if the world is ending, as signified by USC losing to Oregon-Fucking State, or if this is just a case of history repeating itself (USC lost to Fucking stanford). Much like banks/financial institutions collapsing are a repeat of what happened in the past (can a you say KEATING 5??)
StrangelyBrown: The Law of the Jungle in an executive banking office. Tell that to Spielberg! Oliver Stone!
Buy your wheelbarrow now! If you don’t, in a few days what are you going to carry your money in to buy your wheelbarrow?
Hooray For Anything: I think McCain has actually grabbed insanity by the hips and dry-humped it into a fit of orgasmic fail in a Grampa fit of self-righteousness.
StrangelyBrown: WIN.
StrangelyBrown: I accidentally called Hank Paulson Hank Rearden earlier. First I realized I did it wrong, then I realized HOW I was doing it wrong. Then there was much laughter. Then there was fear of falling in love with my parents, or something.
grevillea: I’ve always been a Letterman supporter, here. And I’m happy with his selection of Paul Schaefer as his number two. He plays to the bass.
Or plays keyboards. Or something.
obfuscator: The scary thing is that there’s still over a month left in the election and there’s still more time and probably more need for some more major-ass craziness. Like maybe he’ll dump as a running mate and replace her with a puppy. Or maybe use one of Cindy’s planes to personally bomb Iran all by himself. Or try and change the rules of whatever debate he has so that it’ll be less like a debate and more like charades.
I’m going to stay up all night and make signs to hold up outside of the Today’s show demanding the Veeps debate tomorrow in lew of an Obama townhall. Clearly Obama can’t ask for this himself, even I can’t hold a straight face and my webcammy isn’t even on or anything.
Lets roll, voters, NYC or Bust. (Opps, no offense)
McCain isn’t even fit to parent a child. In multiple interviews Cindy said she and the family have rarely seen him the past 28 years. Of course, that was before she got all cranked up and glassy-eyed to tell the RNC what a a wonderful father he was.
Postponing the debate isn’t the first time he’s pulled this stunt. After reading the long list of other very similar incidents in his political past, I feel this diagnosis should be added to his list of post-traumatic stress disorders:
“Munchausen syndrome is a psychiatric disorder in which those affected fake disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is in a class of disorders known as factitious disorders which involve “illnesses” whose symptoms are either self-induced or falsified by the patient.”
Spanish psychiatrist Dr. Fernando Barral interviewed McCain in Hanoi - here is an excerpt from his 1970 article:
“He (McCain) showed himself to be intellectually alert during the interview. From a morale point of view he is not in traumatic shock. He is neither dejected nor depressed. He was able to be sarcastic, and even humorous indicative of psychic equilibrium. From the moral and ideological point of view he showed us he is an insensitive individual without human depth, who does not show the slightest concern, who does not appear to have thought about the criminal acts he committed against a population from the almost absolute impunity of his airplane, and that nevertheless those people saved his life, fed him, and looked after his health, and he is now healthy and strong. I believe that he bombed densely populated places for sport. I noted he was hardened, that he spoke of banal things as if he were at a cocktail party.”
Full article: http://www.democracyguard.org/granny/FolzerOnMcCain.htm
IMHO McCain needed emotional as well as physical therapy after his return. But because dad and grand-dad were Admirals (and we all know they are tough guys made of steel and only pussies seek emotional or spiritual help when they need it), he has been left to fight demons on his own. I feel deep sorrow for him in that respect. He’s on full disability and dad and grand-dad are dead, so now maybe he can use some of his Veteran’s benefits to get the help he needs. It’s never too late.
But in the meantime, I refuse to cast a pity vote for President of the United States.
sanantonerose: Are you describing some kind of mass hallucination where everyone just forgets the total destruction of everything for the past 8 yrs by Republicans?
Then again: Every time I want to think people aren’t that stupid, BLAMMO! They prove that they are, indeed.
This is nothing compared to the nuclear war that McCain has planned when his poll numbers tank in the second year of his first term after Sarah Palin announces that God has told her that He can’t stand any girl who has reached puberty being threaten with out-of-wedlock pregnancies and therefor she is proposing legislation forcing all girls to get married at age 12.
StrangelyBrown: So it is like every other Ayn Rand Novel?
Lascauxcaveman: And he is Canadian, so he surpasses Sarah Palin in Foreign Policy Experience.
Jon Stewart/Daily Show said it bestL
CLUSTERFUCK to the POORHOUSE…
only change: Written and directed by Johnny-Mac
Someone wake me up when McCain destroys the Universe.
I don’t remember which senator it was or on which cable channel, but one of them was quite perceptive in his summation:
The American people are angry. McCain showed anger. Obama was cool and calm. Ergo, McCain is big strong bear leader.
If it wasn’t so stupid, I’d lay down and cry.
Just saw Margaret Carlson on MSNBC. She said Palin does a disservice to small town Americans by saying she’s just like them, because just about ANY small town American can speak in complete, coherent sentences. I love you, Ms. Carlson. (Looking for any bright spot I can find in these dark days).
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Well, yes. Except this is real, so we can’t just chuck it into the fireplace the next time some free-market screwhead launches into another inscrutable diatribe.
Nice that Walnuts would rather win the election than save the economy.
Is McCain the guy chosen by The Powers That Be who’ll make us nostalgic for George W Bush?
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: because Gallup are liars.
McCain understands economic policy better than everyone else. Wherever he goes, he’s so much closer to Hell than the other guys. He can see it from there!
Prepare for the giant shitstorm to end all shitstorms, people. And we have Walnuts! to thank for it. I’d rather have Bush for another 4 years that that rat prick cocksucker. All that grandstanding, and the fucker said NOTHING! And he’s gonna ride in on his white horse and try to ’save’ the economy. Well guess what fucker, there’s nothing to save anymore. You and your asshole buddies in the GOP just buttfucked us.
Can anybody post the deal that had before Juan showed up. I heard it was reduced to 150 billion and some other stuff. The MSM got so caught up is his net , they forgot what they were talking about. It”s the ECONOMY, STUPID!
lilblackcorvette: The deal was $250B now, plus a commitment for $100B more. The Treasurusauruses would have to show some results (and need) to get the other half of $700B.
Check out this story on Politico
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13946.html
Money Quote:
“According to one GOP lawmaker, some House Republicans are saying privately that they’d rather “let the markets crash” than sign on to a massive bailout.
“For the sake of the altar of the free market system, do you accept a Great Depression?” the member asked.”
I am going to verbally destroy any ‘conservative’ that I run into today. This is complete bullshit. These fuckers don’t care what happens to the rest of us, they only care about thier failed ideology. I piss down the throats of these fucking Nazi’s. These people MUST be stopped. At all costs.
As far as I can tell, and from talking to well informed business sources here in the heartland of American there is zero, nada, no “credit crisis” here in our part of the United States. Seriously.
Hunter Gathers:
Yeah better to ruin an economy than look like a fool.
fromtheright:
Of course not. What happens in NYC doesn’t affect the heartland. At least not since 9/11, 2001.
fromtheright: we have a crisis of fear being stoked by the Repug Party. I kinda like Barrys’ “I got this” stance. Everybody stay calm, this is the shit you elected us to handle.
McCain should announce Charles Keating as his Treasury Secretary. Between the two of them, they know failing banks.
This is what happens when the old bankers are detained and a hip young black man takes over and bases his decisions on how bad those old detained dudes hate his ideas. Remember that.
villageatrois: I think they just have to ask “Pretty plz can we haz some more hundredz of millionz of moneyz?”
There was no technical definition/trigger set (or mentioned anyway) for what the “results”/conditions were that would enable the release of more funds, from my understanding? But it doesn’t seem to matter at the moment, anyway……
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: hip young black man?
god help us a bank might go out of business. sweet jesus help the bank. take my children, grandchildren but save the bank. nevermind take the bank.
sweet jesus, the bank will be in a better place even though they would prefer suits instead of the white thingy garb and desks instead of harps. can they lend money to the angels? the payments will be less for the eternity package. we’re here to help you.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: there we go.
I notice a pattern.
Hopey refuses Juan’s kind invitation for a moveable tea party town hall thingie. Juan has no option but to stick a shiv into Hopey at every opportunity. That’ll teach him.
Juan refuses Letterman’s kind invitation to appear on his televisual offering. Letterman is cranky about it, so Juan sticks a shiv into the US economy and makes it die. That’ll teach Letterman.
I just hope China doesn’t burp, or Juan will nuke Ottawa, just to teach foreigners some ESL etiquette. What other choice would he have?
McCain - Insane In The Brain ‘08 [I'm lookin' at you, Cypress Hill]
ef’n scarborough and kernan going huts this morning. but spongrbob seems ok - just one click down.
我有一个欢迎我们的新中国霸主。
fromtheright: Really? ‘Cause here in Ohio we’re FUCKED. Who have YOU been talking to
??
“We have an idea for Barack Obama: Bring Henry Paulson and George W. Bush and Chris Dodd and Nancy Pelosi and David freakin’ Letterman to Mississippi tonight, and let them tell America what John McCain pulled on Thursday.”
Actually, I’d like to see Barry get Paulson and Bernake on stage, give them 15 minutes and require that they speak at the 8th grade level, then let them explain what they have in that plan and why it has to be done. Do the frickin Cliff Notes version. I haven’t really heard this yet. Bits and pieces, but not a clear and concise presentation.
The Gordo: If we go by the primaries, with the exception of New Hampshire, Obama has experienced a “negative Bradley affect”. Even in the States he lost, he generally lost by less than the polls showed and in the States he won, he won by a greater amount than the polls showed. The pollsters are undercounting his base.
OhWhyOhio: No joke. I can haz doller storz now?
StrangelyBrown: “Worst Ayn Rand novel you can imagine” — who could imagine anything worse than Atlas Shrugged?
V572625694: Ask Alan Greenspan’s wife…
But seriously, is it just me, or am I the only that sees the irony in that this latest cascade of fiscal catastrophes seems to be ripped directly right out of the pages of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged novel with the irony being that the people that brought us this disaster, up to, and including, Rand acolyte and friend Alan Greenspan, would be the ones that are the heroes in Rand’s magnum opus and Universe?
That chick from the gong show owns my bank now? Does she still flash her boobs?
Corporate America wants the bailout, and they own the GOP. They also want McCain, though not nearly as much. So they’ll sacrifice McCain to get the bailout if they have to. The Southern conservatives doing the dissing aren’t real Republicans; they’re Dixiecrats in drag and not as powerful as you might think — or they might think. Give it a day or two.
How much ya wanna bet that McCain tries to blame Obama for the stall tonight?