Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
Here is a dirty little secret about your Comics Curmudgeon: I actually have no idea how to draw. Really! None! Therefore, I probably have no place making fun of the earnest doodlings of others who only wish to entertain and educate us about the politics. Nevertheless! I have found that some political cartoonists seem to be having problems drawing the current spate of presidential candidates — which is weird, because you have a comically tall skinny black dude with big ears running against a bald-headed, chipmunk-cheeked old gnome. So this week, inadequate caricatures will be called out and shamed! (The Sarah Palin drawings actually seem to be pretty good, since cartoonists are studying her photos carefully, while masturbating.)
Who it’s supposed to be: John McCain.
Who it looks like: Lionel Barrymore as It’s A Wonderful Life’s Mr. Potter. This perhaps is supposed to be some kind of dig at McCain for secretly profiting off of misery and economic collapse, but it’s pretty obvious that WALNUTS! doesn’t understand the banking system well enough to use chaos to his advantage the way George Bailey’s nemesis did. Accordingly, McCain’s brainpan is much blunter than the egghead on display in this cartoon.
Who it’s supposed to be: Joe Biden.
Who it looks like: Sam the Eagle, only not blue, and much, much angrier. This makes no sense, because everyone knows that Joe Biden is happy, all the time! Always with the big grin and the twinkly eyes! This is because Joe Biden is hepped up on goofballs at all times, which is also the reason he generally says any old thing that comes to his mind at any given moment, no matter where he is or who he’s talking to.
Who it’s supposed to be: Obama and McCain.
Who it looks like: Dead President/Allstate Insurance Spokesman Palmer from 24, and Joe Lieberman. I mean, right? Doesn’t it look like Jowly Joe? McCain doesn’t have anywhere near that much hair, for one thing, though obviously making any kind of reference to the terrible blight of his baldness puts you on the receiving end of whatever hateful epithet is rolling around the tip of his tongue at any given moment.
Who it’s supposed to be: George W. Bush.
Who it looks like: A monkey? Whose face has been hit with a frying pan? And it’s sitting in a chair? And has no legs for some reason? I dunno. This cartoonist is from Brazil, so I’m going to give him a pass on the assumption that they have no TV or newspapers or media of any kind down there and he’s drawing this based on descriptions poorly translated into Portuguese.
Who it’s supposed to be: McCain and Obama.
Who it looks like: Cantankerous toilet-paper pitchman Mr. Whipple, whom even rampant Charmin-squeezing could only drive to exasperation and not rage-laden tirades, and C. Thomas Howell — who is not black, per se — as he appeared in the smash ’80s comedy Soul Man.
Who it’s supposed to be: John McCain.
Who it looks like: John McCain, but with Rudy Giuliani’s face unaccountably grafted onto the front of his head. OH MY GOD HOW HAS RUDY GIULIANI’S TERRIBLE FERRET FACE ESCAPED FROM THE REST OF HIM? WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!
Hahaha… I love the last one… Rudy’s face is much more weasely than that.
The second to last one kind of looks like Dick Cheney and Black Mr. Spock. The mind meld alone would probably explode Black Mr. Spock’s brain due to the horrors he would find in there.
grendel: I also can’t stand how he talks out of the front of his teeth.
I WISH I had gwb’s head on a chain to drag around behind me!
it took the last artist to reveal John Mccain’s true identity as a Guild Navigator to me.
They do have TV in Brazil but its all telenovela and reruns of Frasier.
What cartoonists never capture in drawings of Dubya are those horrible, beady-yet-flummoxed eyes..creepy.
These dimwits can’t even get scale right. They’re the same height in both the debate comics, but doesn’t Harlem Globetrotters star Barry “Sweet Jazzy B” Obama have a good, like, foot of height on the decrepit, shrivelled man-child that is Walnuts?
In comic #3, McCancel sorta looks like a 72-year-old version of Peanuts’ Linus van Pelt. Minus the security blanket, of course — although she’s probably watching from backstage.
Damn, that Economist beauty sure makes the weird Brazil napkin doodle look like a piece of garbage. The art’s awesome and it’s wittier than the other entries too. Damn Brits, taking good political cartooning jobs from Americans!
The second to last comic looks like a rendering of The Family Feud.
The last one looks like Robert Novak.
For McCain they just need clip art of one of those claymation California raisins. One of them had a malformed head and skin cancer, right?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
obfuscator: We surveyed 100 people, top 5 answers on the board: “Name a John McCain economic achievement.” Sarah, we’ll start with you on the Palin team, what did you answer?
Sarah: Yeah, let me get back to you on that one.
Teammates: *polite applause* Good answer, good answer!
SHOW MEEEEE “LET ME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT ONE!” Survey says…
[X]
*buzzzzz*
Obama in #3 looks alarmingly like Black Dubya.
mattbolt: Actually, the cartoonist for the Economist is Kal, who is an American, and was the in-house cartoonist for the Baltimore Sun until they fired him a couple of years ago because, hey, who needs an in-house political cartoonist when you can get shitty political cartoons from your wire service?
He’s actually a great cartoonist and I’m glad he landed on his feet, but I swear that’s Rudy’s face on Walnuts’s body.
#6: Would McCainliani refer to his supporters as “my 9/11s”?
SayItWithWookies: EPIC GODDAMN WIN.
It’s too bad this post didn’t include this comic, which is hilarious and makes John McCain look like the Elephant Man:
ugh, i hate HTML. try again: http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/images/2008/09/26/c_09262008_520.jpg
iminadinnerjacket: ahahaha yes. but you’d think a guild navigator would be in favor of legalizing drugs.
This one is amazing.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/cartoonsandvideos/toles_main.html.
Ah, gbuell already got it. Anyway, I second.
The last one looks like Robert Novak with a This Island Earth forehead.
nosnikreplliw: It would be worth it wouldn’t it?
That first one McCain looks like Bill-O. In the third Obama looks like Alexander Botts.
In the last one, Bush has escaped from his chains by chewing off his own head.
iminadinnerjacket: A Guild Navigator pandering to the coveted hydrocephalic voter demographic, at that.
OzoneTom: The top one looks like Pat Buchanan as well. All those racist wingnuts look alike to me.