Q: Sarah Palin, please explain in Economics 101 terms how a crisis on Wall Street can eventually affect all people.

A: snort can will health care eat potato cheap economy health poop cum umbrella face nose tax cut health penis eye stab number drink pepsi trade blah moose shit die cancer. [YouTube via Andrew Sullivan]

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  1. “She’s so insanely stupid and has absolutely not fucking idea what the words are that are coming out of her mouth that it’s a really interesting experience for me to interview her.”

  2. “You Are So Awful We Want To Die”

    But… when do the people who are going to vote for her come to this conclusion? I don’t have all day, you know. Step it up, people.

  3. I have run out of adjectives to describe the depths of this woman’s stupidity. Katie is thinking “my colon is smarter than you; I know–I’ve had it checked!”

  4. She continues to look down. Is she answering these questions from notes?!?

    Sadly, I already know the answer to that question. Our country is quickly becoming a joke and Mrs. Palin is the punchline. FUCK!

  5. OMG the look on Katie’s face as she’s listening to that inane moosetard made me laugh so hard I snorted. In my place of work. Thanks Katie Couric!

  6. I had been looking for this transcript. Thank you for posting this. Now I know exactly what she said. I went into a seizure the first time I tried to watch it, so I missed a couple of responses. This proves to me that Sarah Palin is far more qualified to be preznit than WALNUTS!. He spent all day trying to destroy the bipartisan bailout compromise so he could have the same thing renamed for him, in his honor, most holiness on high, and all he managed to do was make everyone in Washington scowl and go poopies. Sarah Palin would at least have provided entertainment for our poor, overworked congress people. They could possibly have gotten her to repeat her interview responses while stripping seductively. Morale would have increased dramatically. But no. All they got was a lousy depends full of WALNUTS! crap. sigh.
    Time for meds.

  7. Somebody with talent do a match up of this answer and Ms. Teen South Carolina’s answer about Iraq:

    I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.

    They apparently have the same people preparing them.

  8. Katie’s poker face is impressive. I would have had to stab myself in the leg with a moose antler to keep from a)laughing out loud or b) asking Palin to please STFU and smile pretty.

  9. I laugh and laugh and then I think that the old bastard could win and die and then holy fucking shit WE ARE ALL SO SCREWED. Then I pour a vodka on the rocks and cry.

  10. lordshiva:
    What did we do to deserve this? Fifty years of letting high school coaches teach history and civics. This is called “reaping the whirlwind”.

  11. I’ve been trying to think of how to decribe Palin’s intellect.

    Dumb as a box of hair?

    Mental midget?

    Thick as a post?

    Maybe I’ll take the Southern approach. Bless her heart, it’s a good thing the Lord made her pretty.

  12. [re=108855]catsonmars[/re]: All she did was ask her a simple, slightly stupid and naive question. I bet she was wondering how she could possibly have fucked it up. That’s how, Katie. That’s how.

  13. Remember those stupid “Ginger. . .or Mary Ann?” commercials? If it was “Sarah or Katie?” I would totally take Katie, no contest. Oh wait but I’m a gaybo’ so I guess my opinion doesn’t count. So straights what’s the verdict?

  14. Watch this, I cannot.

    What’s the time when Katie gives the best priceless face?

    I want minimize as much of yup-yup visuals and audio as I can. Seriously, watching/listening to this woman is like having your brains sucked out by a tampon applicator.

  15. OMG. If she was a dem I’d feel sorry for her. Brings to mind that Talking Heads song, Once in a Lifetime:

    Governor Palin:

    And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
    And you may find yourself in another part of the world
    And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
    And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful Wife
    And you may ask yourself-well…how did I get here?

    Senator McCain:

    ….And you may ask yourself
    Am I right? …am I wrong?
    And you may tell yourself
    My god!…what have I done?

  16. hockeymom: See the problem is, just like when Gore dismantled W three times, in America smart is bad!

    When asked who your favorite philosopher is, you sure as shit better answer “Jesus” or you’re French.

  17. …OK, Barack Obama should stop running all of his attack ads and just air this and the Charles Gibson interview with a crawl beneath saying John McCain is 72 years old and a 4 time cancer survivor from now until election day!

  18. Not to be bitchy or anything, but where is Trig?
    You know, the infant who probably should still be breastfeeding, in the best interest of his health.
    While mom is busy doing a triple, double fail, where is her BRAND NEW BABY?

    Sorry, my ovaries took over the keyboard.

  19. Glasses do not equal brains, and hotness(debatable) is not a qualification unless you are in porn, sales or modeling.

    You may want to fuck her, but please don’t fuck the country voting for her.

  20. It’s weird. When you listen to right-wing commentators, they always act like the interviewer is delivering this “gotcha” style question. She’s flubbed the most open ended question ever asked of a political candidate. This should not be the section that you slip up on!

    I’m surprised that she has been asked about how she organizes her sock drawer. Chances are she would answer by invoking Jeebus, speaking in tongues, and then dry humping a fern.

  21. [re=108890]hockeymom[/re]: I’ve wondered that myself. I bet she thinks breastfeeding is gross. I assume Steve Schmidt is letting him suck on his bald head.

  22. Brain … hurt …

    No wonder Walnuts is trying to figure out a way to cancel the VP debate. Members of his campaign are probably browsing sex shops right now trying to find a gag sufficiently strong to keep her from spouting any more nonsense.

  23. [re=108882]Reefpilot[/re]: I need to down a bottle of vodka (preferably Russian of course) before I can watch that again and give you the answer. Hold please.

  24. And see, kiddees? This is what happens to people who have to go to five different colleges and universities before one will give out a degree. I think acadmic institutions everywhere had a meeting and cried, “SOMEBODY give this ditz a degree before she comes HERE!”

    Yep. Real mental giants. One who can’t string together a coherent thought with paper clips, Elmer’s glue and yarn and another who graduated near the bottom of his class because the dog ate his homework one too many times. How much you wanna bet their teachers are thinking, “see? I told you so!”

  25. Can we convince Sam Donaldson to come out of retirement just long enough to go on a Sunday talk show and say “Sarah Palin is dumb as a box of rocks”?

  26. [re=108890]hockeymom[/re]: Trig is with his mother. (SLAP!) I mean his sister (SLAP!) I mean his mother (SLAP!) I MEAN HIS SISTER AND HIS MOTHER!!!!

  27. All your base are belong to us?

    Seriously, me, my boyfriend, and one of my dogs just nearly died laughing watching that. Is there like a ton of mercury in moosemeat or was she just born dumb?

  28. I’m giving 5:1 odds that McCain’s next diversion will be to hire Lieberman to pull a “Tanya Harding” on Barry’s kneecaps.

    I’m also starting to smell the MSM turning against McCain’s charade and the whole Russian Beauty Queen thing.

  29. Palin brings so much happiness to the Wonkette.
    I mean she even beats out stories of cult preacher arrested today for boinking underage girls.
    That’s impressive. Dumbness rules!!!

  30. Obama is running with two strikes against him–intellectual brilliance and half blackness.

    If, by some miracle, Americans overcome their aversion to both and manage to elect him, what odds do we give that Sarah “Thank you Jesus, I’m not a witch anymore” Palin will finish her term as governor before the inks the deal on the reality television show.

    You know it will happen. The only question will be whether she has made herself such a laughing stock the nets don’t want her and she has to go on Spike in a time slot after the WWF.

  31. I was watching a little O’Reilly and he was a Pox on Both Houses, then I went back to Olby to watch him bask in his Letterman glow. Now I’m winding down perfectly with Maddow and my drunkeness. Should be passed out by 10, if not earlier.

    Cuntry First!

  32. I Like Sarah. I even made a donation in her honor to Planned Parenthood today.

    I’d love to be there when she gets the card.

    Best of all it is tax deductible.

  33. [re=108935]stew[/re]: Yeah, I’m a little stuck digesting on that whole witches-are-real-and-living-among-us Palin funfact myself. We’ll be living in a country where the VP is blackmailed into divulges state secrets because the ambassador from Iran threatened to cast a spell to blight our crops and turn her into a newt.

  34. And to think that I once thought that Katherine Harris donning a tight sweater and conducting her interviews in profile was the height of political idiocy!

  35. I’m a very sensitive person, so sensitive that I can’t watch ice skating events and enjoy them. I have to put my hands over my face when the announcer person says “Here comes the double sou-cou….” Just trust me, I lose half a day of living when I watch. That’s why I’m kind of scared to watch this interview. I don’t think she’s worth time off of my life span.

  36. She’s what the Republican base considers a…motivational speaker.

    BUT, she’s not worse than Bush or McCain, à mon avis.

    Also, while speaking, she looks at her notes or just looks at her salmon-pink toenails for inspiration.

  37. That question Palin spit up all over was a really easy one. I could give a passable, Republican-leaning response in my sleep (“our hearts go out to anyone struggling to make their house payment, but the urgent thing this moment isn’t debt relief, but restoring confidence in our financial markets”, etc.), and I’m not a Republican and I’m not running for national office.

  38. I am wondering why nobody is askin the Kenyan preacherman if he still likez Sarah so much???? Hmmmm.We need to know! He’s from another country too ya know. Whoa, that bank is goin down. Train wreck tomorrow.
    Still, it’s fun to see Katie get all squinty eyed and thin lipped with the Moose Lady. Really the average person is already so fucked by the economy that they will not notice a thing for years and years unless they want to send their kids to school or travel to Russia or pay another bill, ever. John is a hero who crashes planes and loses wars and Sarah is a mom who can’t raise her own children that’s the end of it.

  39. So much for CIA/ufo conspiracy theorists (and meth heads) who believe in mind-control chips and such. If such a chip existed, it would have been surgically implanted in this woman’s head weeks ago.

    Stop scratching at your skin and pulling out your teeth, our mentally challenged brothers and sisters!! Sister Sarah has Shown you Salvation! (Caveat: The government may still be able to control your thoughts, but it apparently cannot give you an ability to think where one previously did not exist.)

  40. [re=108908]wildeoats[/re]: So wrong, but so on target on a metaphysical level. Really. I think the greatest human possibility in that family exists in the person least able to understand the belief system it is being raised in. Just saying.

  41. [re=108880]serj![/re]: Katie, no question. Palin has no virtues that come close. Friends who are mansluts would probably find her appealing as she could likely be tricked into bed by alcohol/being extra prayerful/ or distracting her with a bright shiny object. Stupid is just inherently unsexy to me.

  42. [re=108970]snig[/re]: Plus we’ve already seen Katie’s drop chute all the way up to her small intestine, and those pipes are clean and sexxxy! Plus the fact she showed us all on live TV is awesome and a TOTAL Mary Ann move.

  43. I watched this about an hour ago and was strangely drawn back to it – like someone who needs to watch the gore of a bad car crash. I am powerless against this.

    – at least her teenage daughter has now found true love.

  44. First, my ears bled until I was rendered deaf. Then, I jabbed a pen into my right eye, which damaged my depth perception so badly I couldn’t shut off the Youtubes, and then watched as my hand involuntarily snatched the pen from my right eye and plunged it into my left. I am dictating this comment as a public service announcement, and will be communicating via my sense of touch and the memory of the spoken word from here on out. Thank you, and goodnight.

  45. Guys and Gals, being a hockey mom is HARD!! These last 20 years Barbie has been so busy makin’ babies and birthin’ babies and pawnin’ babies away to other people to raise, she hasn’t had time to watch the news or read a book or walk across the ice bridge to Russia. Guys and Gals, she’s been real busy.

    And buying lipstick. She spend alotta time matchin’ lipstick and shoes!!

  46. The babbling was sheer nerves (plus, not having a clue what’s she doing). Seriously, she seemed nervous, like Katie Couric was a hungry elk eyeing her like a tasty morsel.

  47. And her interviewer is KATIE FUCKING COURIC!!! That’s a half a notch above Joy Behar.
    I don’t blame McCain for using our financial meltdown as an excuse to stop her from debating Joe the Shark. Bible Spice is going to get skewered .

  48. its health care and jobs. she is absolutely right. the first thing my banker said to me is. “how ya feelin” and followed it up with, “how ya doin'”. so, help the bankers. they want to help you.
    the part i’m not clear on is where she said its rainin in the economy and on the shore or was that the economy is on the shore where its rainin.

  49. You know, Palin makes Quayle looks like a freakin’ Rhodes Scholar. It’s funny watching the talking heads after they listen to Caribou Idiot’s remarks. I expect blood to come ooozing out of Anderson Cooper’s ears any minute.

  50. I want to kiss Margaret Carlson on the mouth for everything she just said, including, “Sarah Palin is an insult to people from small towns.” … or something along those lines.

  51. Famed economist Rip Slime covered those same points years ago, if I recall right.

    What exactly does Palin hope to add to:

    “BABY HOLD ON (wait a minute)
    Chuu wo matteku MY HEART CHECK BLUE BE-BOP
    I & I de tsuujiau wa hazu HOLD ON (wait a minute)

    BABY HOLD ON (wait a minute)
    Chuu wo matteku MY HEART CHECK BLUE BE-BOP
    I & I de tsuujiau wa hazu HOLD ON (wait a minute)

    Sono mama goto na hayari ni [MORO] gattsuki
    somari unubore benri na monsa
    anaume tada no [SHINGAA SONGU]
    sure chigai no nokoriga ka gi
    saraba rakuen aishita [MANUKE] na [BEIBEE]
    sukoshi ureide todoke ka nee omoi de
    wait a minute tatta ima ga [MEEDEE MEEDEE]
    anata hitori wo furimukasu tameni
    otoko wo tameshitaku omou sei de…
    fukaku Groove digger BLUE BE-BOP
    higashi kara [SANRAISU] saa [SUTANBAI]
    kigakuruu kurai shibatte SO TIGHT
    Friday night to the Monday made
    narande futari karande fuantei
    [FURAFURA] ni yurarete kanden
    [ADOBANTEESHI] matte karetara
    gin no [RINGU] ubaidotte made ONE MAKE

  52. Starting to make sense.
    Bush senior or Rove are engineering this behind the scenes. Johnny squeaks through in a nailbiter election, (Diebold delivers again). Couple weeks later, the sun sneaks through his layers of foundation and he crumbles to dust.
    Palin becomes president.
    Dubya is suddenly famous as the Second. Worst. President. Ever.
    Cause they’re forward thinking and have to keep their eyes on the legacy thing.

  53. It’s like watching a train wreck. That, or something painfully embarrassing happening to someone else. Or both. When I watch Palin my insides kind of shrink up and I feel physically ill at ease. You know that feeling when you do the big drop on a roller coaster? Yeah … that.

  54. PALIN: That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

    A bag of hammers could not have put it better.

  55. She makes me want to have five babies so that my non-idiot-gened children can balance out the damage inflicted in the world by her reproductive monstrousities. Why is it assholes breed like fruit flies?

  56. She’s intuitively right about the interconnectedness of everything in this world…unfortunately actually grasping that concept would make her head explode. She also had that moose in the headlights look every 5 words or so.

  57. Wow. Just…wow. I mean, not knowing how to answer the Kissinger question was one thing; that one was seriously tough and was geared to be a gotcha question. How do your handlers, though, NOT tell you (a) how to explain your idiotic claim about knowing Russia through proximity, and (b) why the GOP supports trickle down economics. Chrisy, I could defend those points more coherently and I think they’re both asinine.

  58. That’s seriously how I’ve sounded after I’ve chomped on blotter acid and shoveled my nose with ketamine, speed, and coke, followed by three or four phat spliffs in a 24 hour period. I think she spoke how cats think.

  59. [re=108848]demtard[/re]: If she’d only stalled by starting with “I personally believe (and then restated the question),” she could have bought enough time to come up with an answer as coherent as the one given by Miss South Carolina.

  60. I guess she does look presidential in a Bushian sort of way. It looks like Couric is actually biting her lip, trying her best to stay straight during Palin’s response. Wow.
    Way to vet there, Walnuts. Way to vet. (slow clap)

  61. [re=109035]snig[/re]: Then Cheney/Rove will be the shadow president. Babbler Palin will say anything they wish, even if it is only a fraction of the sentence.

    If they can issue a speech (in print-the Iran speech) that she did not give, then they can do anything.

  62. This woman can induce a heart attack!!! It is official, she is literally more scary than Bin Laden.

    If this woman gets elected as VP and McCain’s senility gets worst, we are officially on a HIROSHIMA-LIKE watch list!!!

    I honestly feel like I am in one of those crappy horror flicks – and just when you think you are going to get away, they guy cuts your fucking head off!! Thank you Walnuts for unleashing Sarah Krueger on us!!

    P.S. With reference to the Russia/Foreign Policy comments, If I am a powerful nation, WTF would I invade Alaska? Wouldn’t it be smarter to attack the country’s HUBS like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Detroit, Boston, Miami, Houston? Trust me if 9/11 was about bombing Wasilla, we wouldn’t have any problems.. It would have been a public service.. Let’s be real, this woman has no clue WTF she is talking about!!

  63. Can anyone find this transcript on the CBS site:

    COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy? Instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

    PALIN: That’s why I say, I like ever American I’m speaking with were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the tax payers looking to bailout.

    But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Helping the — Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. Shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americas. A

    And trade we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive scary thing. But 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. ALl those things under the umbrella of job creation.

    This bailout is a part of that.

    All I could find was

    Next, Couric asked about the $700 billion government bailout of bad debt – and whether she supports it.

    Palin: I’m all about the position that America is in and that we have to look at a $700 billion bailout. And as Sen. McCain has said unless this nearly trillion dollar bailout is what it may end up to be, unless there are amendments in Paulson’s proposal, really I don’t believe that Americans are going to support this and we will not support this. The interesting thing in the last couple of days that I have seen is that Americans are waiting to see what John McCain will do on this proposal. They’re not waiting to see what Barack Obama is going to do. Is he going to do this and see what way the political wind’s blowing? They’re waiting to see if John McCain will be able to see these amendments implemented in Paulson’s proposal.

  64. In all seriousness: How…

    …THE FUCK…

    …did this woman ever get elected to ANYTHING?! She actually had the audacity to belittle community organizers when she can’t even organize the words that come out of her own mouth!

    You could ask a bowl of Rice Krispies a question and get an equally coherent answer as anything Sarah Palin said in this interview. My mind is well and truly boggled.

  65. I’m certain I had the same look on my face as Katie when the Jehovah Witness people showed up at
    my door and were regaling me with the impending good ol end times.

  66. She’ll get a bump in support after the debate thanks to people who feel sorry for her. Senator Biden won’t be able to keep from smiling while she is spewing sentence fragments. The media will flog the idea that Biden is a meanie and hates the mentally handicapped. Mark my words, this is the shape of the end of America and possibly the human race.

  67. A.) Belabor: argue or elaborate (a subject) in excessive detail: belabor the obvious. B.) Point: an argument or idea put forward by a person in discussion: he made the point that economic regulation involves controls on pricing. Was Katie Couric making a point, or was she asking a question? Beyond the two pertinent and most recent examples of John McCain’s record as provided by Sarah Palin, was Katie eliciting information in excessive detail, belaboring a point, or just murdering the King’s English? Fact is, Ms. Couric really did want a list, and Ms. Palin offered to provide one. So, what’s the correct answer? You’re right Katie, John is an obvious fake, and I’m totally clueless. D’oh! Sorry for not coming-out with that straightaway. But it’s almost moose season; come-on up to the cabin (you can see the Kremlin from the roof), I’ve got two wonderful new moose hats one for both you and Charlie Gibson:

  68. [re=108867]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
    Here’s Sarah’s foreign-policy credentials answers to Katie.

    Couric: You’ve cited Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?
    Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundary that we have with Canada. It’s funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don’t know, you know … reporters.
    Couric: Mocked?
    Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.
    Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.
    Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…
    Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
    Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

    “like such!” – What the hell does this response have to with foreign-policy credentials?!?!?

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