• February 14, 2012

The CNN lady just said, direct quote: “Most of McCain’s day was spent on the phone in his office, trying to get the lay of the land, before going to the White House.” What a productive impact! He spent all day asking other people what the fuck was even happening, and then he went to a delightful tea party. Did he put on pants today also? That’s an achievement! And now he will go on all three network news shows to brag about his achievements during his suspended campaign. [Jonathan Martin]

{ 51 comments }

tunamelt September 25, 2008 at 6:15 pm

“We also put him back on solid food, today, and I’m just so proud.” -McCain campaign spokesperson

tonashideska September 25, 2008 at 6:17 pm

He hasn’t been in his office since April, how did he find it?

SayItWithWookies September 25, 2008 at 6:17 pm

Actually, “getting the lay of the land” meant asking for directions to the White House. McCain hasn’t been in DC in a while, you know.

Juan McMaverick September 25, 2008 at 6:17 pm

The RNC presents: The Creme of the Crop. ~rimshot~

PoliTacky September 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm

You are scaring me with these grub-like pictures of McCain.

McGrub.

bhosp September 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Fuck you, old man.

Aurelio September 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Heh. And check this out: Palin: ‘What The Bailout Does Is Help Those Who Are Concerned About Health Care Reform’.

tonashideska September 25, 2008 at 6:18 pm

I just noticed all of the cancer scares on his face, was he operated on by Dr. Frankenstein?

BlindHabaneroJefferson September 25, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Must…control muscles…on left…side..of face.

Now where’s this ‘lay of the land’ I’ve been hearing about?

Delicious September 25, 2008 at 6:20 pm

See all the footage of him walking hand-in-hand with his girlfriend, Joe Lieberman? OMG cutest thing evah!

Delicious September 25, 2008 at 6:20 pm

[re=108729]bhosp[/re]: Well put.

tunamelt September 25, 2008 at 6:21 pm

[re=108724]tonashideska[/re]: They walked him there on a leash, like a toddler or a golden lab.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 6:21 pm

That hand in back off McMaverick’s head, is it reaching for a pull-string?

BTW: He’ll be on all three network??!! So how the fuck-doodle am I supposed to set my VCR to get all of this important stuff?! Bastard.

One more question. Is the food channel a network?

Aurelio September 25, 2008 at 6:22 pm

Here’s the link to Palin’s comment about the bailout helping, uh, healthcare. http://thinkprogress.org/2008/09/25/palin-bailout-healthcare/

WhatTheHeck September 25, 2008 at 6:22 pm

I too have suspended my belief in the Murican way.
But I’m staying the hell away from the White House.
BTW, has he run away from his running mate?

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=108730]Aurelio[/re]: Is she hearing voices from outer space??

randomsausage September 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

What’s bigger? McCain’s jowls or Palin’s piss-flap?

iwillsavethispatient September 25, 2008 at 6:24 pm

From CNN’s political ticker:
“Senator McCain will remain in DC tonight [...]” the campaign said in a statement.
[...]
McCain is currently at his Arlington, Virginia home.

Now, I’m no geography expert, but Virginia ain’t DC. More McCain campaign lies!

SayItWithWookies September 25, 2008 at 6:25 pm

[re=108730]Aurelio[/re]: Yeah, it helps those who were concerned that health care reform was gonna happen. Now their fears are alleviated, since we’re spending all our money bailing out the rich.

Dave J. September 25, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Awesome quote from the CNN article on this”

It’s unclear whether McCain agreed with this approach, but one aide said he put the principles “in his satchel to take over to the White House.”

LOLZ at “his satchel.”

Sara in the West September 25, 2008 at 6:27 pm

For the love of God, is anyone fooled by this pathetic attention grab? It makes me fear for this country. I expect more from my 5 year daughter who still announces her bathroom activities.

azw88 September 25, 2008 at 6:27 pm

It took them most of the day to clean out the cobwebs… then they opened his office and swept that out too!

azw88 September 25, 2008 at 6:30 pm

[re=108757]Sara in the West[/re]: at least your kid is doing her business in the appropriate room, whilst Johnny-Mac shits all over everything.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 6:31 pm

[re=108725]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Getting the lay of the land” is a sailor’s phrase for finding the place to engage in pay-to-play boinkee-boinkee.
John McCain, you old salt, you. I could jes’ hugs ya to dedt.

4tehlulz September 25, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Typical fly boy. Comes in out of nowhere, drops bombs and fuck shit up, flies away, and makes others deal with the damage.

Fuck him with a rusty trombone.

Gopherit v2.0 September 25, 2008 at 6:35 pm

[re=108748]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: But Arlington is where his bed, pillow, stuffed bear, and favoritest mistress are. Little man has had a busy day.

slappypaddy September 25, 2008 at 6:37 pm

yeah, jumpin jack mcnuggets spent all day tryin to get the lay of the land. my phone was ringin off the wall, lemme tell you. i been the lay of the land fer a while now, and he’s not the only old man been after my tight ass. but my price keeps goin up, it’s a cool one trillion and risin risin risin, like an old man’s dim memory of an erection.

NoWireHangers September 25, 2008 at 6:38 pm

All I have to say is that he better participate in that goddamn debate, and if he doesn’t I want widespread backlash from even the most mouth-breathingest of Americans.

And one more thing:
[re=108729]bhosp[/re]: Ditto.

Juan McMaverick September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

I just saw an ad talking about The Melanoma Maverick’s grill & asking why he’s hiding his medical records on MSNBC….

’bout time we get an idea when Bible Spice takes over.

JohnnyMeatworth September 25, 2008 at 6:42 pm

she’s so far behind the times on this shit she might as well be wearing acid wash and oakley blades.

Speed Ball September 25, 2008 at 6:45 pm

McCain reporting to “Warshington” to SAVE THE ECONOMY is like Jeffrey Dahmer reporting to the YMCA to help run Boys Club meetings.

What I’m saying is McCain will rape the economy and freeze its body parts for later.

Juan McMaverick September 25, 2008 at 6:50 pm

[re=108780]Juan McMaverick[/re]: The ad should be running nationwide IMHO.

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/liberal-pacs-ready-attack-ad-on-mccains-health/

donner_froh September 25, 2008 at 6:54 pm

This old fucksack wants the entire world to suspend everything it is doing so he can campaign for president

AnnieGetYourFun September 25, 2008 at 6:56 pm

[re=108788]Juan McMaverick[/re]: Yeah, because that won’t be decried as agist at all.

Carrie_Okie September 25, 2008 at 6:58 pm

MELANOMA IS GONNA OWNYA!!!!!1111

Tawmn September 25, 2008 at 7:01 pm

[re=108746]randomsausage[/re]: The real question is which has seen more lobbyist penis?

serj! September 25, 2008 at 7:07 pm

[re=108768]4tehlulz[/re]: Oh, but don’t forget McCrash also has a history of making reckless moves and getting shot down–and he appears not to have learned shit from his experience.

Outstando September 25, 2008 at 7:13 pm

He also stopped by the White House to yell at some kids on the lawn.

Anita Cocktail September 25, 2008 at 7:18 pm

[re=108738]tunamelt[/re]: Toddler. Golden labs don’t wear pull-ups.

Rush September 25, 2008 at 7:18 pm

Question – what sort of solvent did they use to peel Cindy off of Walnut’s rear shoulder? I did not see her in the meeting with W today?

Rush September 25, 2008 at 7:20 pm

[re=108757]Sara in the West[/re]:

Your kid seems brilliant. I’m significantly older and still announce my “intentions”.

PoliTacky September 25, 2008 at 7:28 pm
eatsshootsleaves September 25, 2008 at 7:38 pm

[re=108741]Aurelio[/re]: Oh my God. You know, every time I hear that Palin has screwed up, I always think, oh, it can’t be THAT bad. AND IT ALWAYS IS WORSE.

Barrett808 September 25, 2008 at 7:43 pm

What’s this about an imminent press conference by Democrats? Like in the next few minutes?

keepinitrealyo September 25, 2008 at 7:46 pm
apocalypsethen September 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

this is making me angry. angry! I want to go take out my frustrations on a vital piece of legislation. maybe in arizona.

http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/09/saving_the_bailout.php

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 25, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Actually, I have to give McCain some credit. He couldn’t even bring himself to read Paulson’s three page outline of the White House’s plan for days. They definitely must have upped his drugs to get him this active.

Beans September 25, 2008 at 7:58 pm

Does Walnuts throw furniture at Sugar-Mama Cindy when the Diamondbacks lose? I’d be scared to even have this guy as a neighbor. He’d shoot the dogs if they took a dump in MY yard. If they were in his, Bible Spice would field dress them.

If Obama were white he’d be what, 70 points ahead in the polls?

No mistake on the Republicans side for opposing public education for decades. It was part of the master plan to take over the world by rendering the public moronic.

Or may it’s fluoride in the water? Sterling Hayden was so right, just in the wrong way.

snig September 25, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Beans September 25, 2008 at 9:44 pm

I just saw the video of Walnuts arriving at the Capital and who was here to slip a comforting arm around him? Joe Leiberman.

How could Connecticut to this to the rest of us? Granted, I’m from the home state of the internationally famous-for-his-idiocy Jim Inhofe, a wholly owned subsidiary of the energy companies, but Connecticut? What’s your excuse, huh, huh, huh?

We’re poor and stupid and still have dust-clogged brains. But Connecticut-ites are rich and smart. No excuses for you.

wallythepug September 25, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Why don’t Walnuts! and Joe take a cue from Clay Aiken and just come out of the closet on their bromance, already?

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