While George W. Bush begged us to go along with Henry Paulson’s plan to print $700 billion worth of Treasury bills to sell to the Chinese in a tragic attempt to somewhat delay our Greatest Depression and final decline as a nation, China itself has been, you know, doing stuff.
They’re building entire gleaming new cities we’ve never ever heard about, and making all the fancy goods the world demands, and buying up all the natural resources in Africa and South America, and oh yeah they just launched another manned spacecraft, and this time the astronauts will do the first Chinese Spacewalk. 太空所有的星球塞盡我的屁股・太空所有的星球塞尽我的屁股
America used to do that space stuff pretty good, back in the day. [Xinhua/Space.com]
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Why does that picture make me think of Nathan Fillion cursing in a bad Chinese dialect?
We still own the Moon, right? Or did we sell that to the Chinese too?
Firefly!!!!! I loves you firefly!!!!
Blah, blah, blah, welcome new Chinese overlords, blah, blah, blah.
Imagine having a Chinese firedrill in space.
And really, the whole thing is just more planning by them so that they can have fancy lasers in outer space to shoot down our missiles….FROM OUTER SPACE, WITH LASERS.
Ne Hao Maa, Xiang tse, Qing tsao ie?
GIT USED TO IT.
GOT MILK?
我，一的，歡迎我們新的中國霸主。
UPDATE: Al Quaeda Endorse Obama from their watery hideout in the mountainous Venetzia region of Pakistan.
The real astronaut will be much less cute than the one that shows up on TV.
除我們之外，肯Layne， you’ 仅關於我們的希望。
Our Wal-Mart purchases at work.
Stupid Babel Fish…
除我們之外，肯Layne，您是仅我們的希望。
Hey China, welcome to the 1960′s!! I hope you’re hippies are even more hilarious than ours were.
So we are getting closer to have our faces eaten by Reavers in space. I knew it.
As for doing stuff? I think you don’t remember the two fake asteroids the American space program fake destroyed in two different movies. Not to mention the two Americans that were able to reignite the sun in Sunshine after the Chinese astronauts got murdered. Let’s see China top that.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
It’s far more important to cut taxes than it is do explore space, or build bridges, or make sure our children is learning. Duh.
As long as we speak Mandarin Chinese. mmmmm, mandarins.
Oddly enough, “Tang” in Chinese means “Astronaut Piss,” so they got a head start in that department.
OH YEAH WELL WE HAVE NUKULAR MISSILES WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WA….
What do you mean my paycheck bounced?
/Pentagon
So can you see that Great Wall thingee from up there, or not?
America, facetiously: “Do you want to run this world?”
China: “Yes!”
America, off guard: “Well…you can’t!”
Part of their plan to grab all the giant kangaroo rats and turn their pelts into coats. 10,000 giant kangaroo rats = one sleeve.
I believe the correct spelling is spacewok.
Maybe the Formics will get them.
[re=107940]PoliTacky[/re]: We’ve got at LEAST 5 more years on that one…right?
Have they EVER sent anyone into space? I mean, they do know you need a suit right? I envision amusing communist propaganda being put out explaining why “national hero”‘s head ‘sploded.
Guess there’s nothing left to do except to get to work on writing the great American obituary. Either that or get in on the groundfloor of this whole witch-hunting/public speaking thing.
Next: Buffets and Nail Salons on the moon.
NEVER FEAR. The Chinaman Peoplz need our consumer peoplz.
…which brings us back to all the cool things we could do with a TRILLION dollars! LIke build a full size working replica of the Death Star!
Palin just met Hu Jintao at the UN and told him that her favorite Chinese food was Cream of Sum Yung Guy
[re=107963]magic titty[/re]: Alas, no, that’s a Snopes.com-able myth.
The future is now.
[re=107968]WagTehGod[/re]: Next they’ll be building a Runar Rander.
[re=107975]Servo[/re]: Don’t forget fleshpots…mmmm, green women not far behind!
So they can walk in space? We done that. Now we’re gonna dig ourselves a deep deep ditch (yeah that’s two deeps) and sleepwalk backwards into that. Bet they can’t do that. Then we’re gonna go to Mars! And if we can’t go to Mars, well, we’ll just bring Mars right down into our own backyards and have ourselves a big barbecue. Roasted flesh, everyone? Apocalypsticked pigs, now!
FUN FAKT:
In Southern China if you don’t want your cat eaten you have to deform its tail by tying it in a knot. Cat’s that are not deformed are considered fair game for the pickens’.
[re=107966]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHHAHAHAAAA!
[re=107950]Serolf Divad[/re]: Those eyetalians are sooo cute! Where can I buy one?
[re=107945]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Did you just order a beer?
The Chinese are gonna whip our butts technologically…..and they’re gonna use our money to do it. Yay national debt!
I heard that the Chinese can do the Kessel run in 18 parsecs
are you sure they didn’t just cgi the rocket launch?
I bet Zhang Yimou is already filming their own fake moonlanding on some sound stage in Bejing.
[re=107956]loudmouthredhead[/re]: No shit, welcome China to the “Space Age” everyone. Yaaaayyy.
[re=107968]WagTehGod[/re]: WIN! hah.
I don’t know what this conversation is about or what all this ruckus is about this “China” place, but as an American voter, I feel I should be concerned because they’re not white. But at least we invented gunpowder and printing before they did.
[re=107972]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Oh, shit. What about Mars? Did we poke an American flag into that red bitch or what? Priorities, people! Earth is fucked, we need to stake a claim on the next viable planet before the Chinese do it! You know those commies want the Red planet, too, just think of the marketing possibilities.
“Curse your sudden, but inevitable betrayal!”
This is like Whedonesque but a lot funnier
[re=107994]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Are you out of your mind? They’ll whip us only if we let them keep stealing our ideas. Creativity is not exactly encouraged in that society, but sending students to the US to write down everything they see and send it home is.
just wait until they get a message from the action man. no one understands what major tom sees out there, not even Daoists. it gets messy.
[re=107977]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
Or a couple of trips to Mars, build Moonbase Alpha and force everyone on it to wear Rudi Ghenrich jumpsuits and orange spacesuits!
[re=107996]Roll Fish[/re]: I think they actually just loaded a dude into a cannon. I mean, it worked for Jules Verne, right? And it uses their one invention ever: gun powder!
Look! They already have pictures of the spacewalk!
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0dUC88V5ZKaKb/610x.jpg
Nothing in the ‘Verse can stop them…
[re=107953]tunamelt[/re]: 太空所有的星球塞盡我的屁股・太空所有的星塞尽我的屁股!!!!?!?!?!?!!
[re=108004]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Tell yourself that if you feel better. Technology needs money first, creativity second.
And from the jackasses I work with in the tech sector, I’m not exactly impressed with american creativity these days.
Oh, and doesn’t this sound like something Joss Whedon would write:
“It’s not based on any particular data point,” [a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday] Wash chortled. “We just wanted to choose a really large number.”
Glound conrol to Major 您是仅我們的希望
[re=107994]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Woot to the Asian dragons! Fuck the domestic economy! Thank Gawd for our Prezdent!
Well, this is what they think they’ll find up there:
http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/lunar-china-662.shtml
[re=108015]freakishlystrong[/re]: WIN
[re=107959]ihasasad[/re]: Wah??? No way! Cantonese is the way to go. Oh, it’s ON now, bitch!
[re=108002]PoliTacky[/re]: Doesn’t matter at this point. If we want to go to Mars, we’ll have to borrow money from the Chinese to do it. So really, it’s like China would be going to Mars, we’re just doing the grunt work of piloting the ship.
[re=108013]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
Agreed. Besides who are the majority of injinears, doctuhs, skienze type PhDs and MScs? It’s my cousins. They didn’t call my engineering discipline, electrical engineering, the Chinese option for nothing.
Didn’t all of that moon stuff happen on a sound stage? So, what? The Chinese have built themselves a bigass movie studio?
[re=108006]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Dude. If that actually happened, I’d be there in a second. I was so sad to see the year 1999 come and go, with no such possibilities.
And what’s with the China-hating comments? Jesus, the ugliness comes out so quickly…
[re=108024]pondscum[/re]: Oh my god, that means they’re only a few years away from remaking E.T.!!!
Jesus. Am I the only person on the planet who heard about Firefly, watched Firefly, reflected on Firefly, sat back, and said: “Meh. It’s really not that good.”?
Good lord. I may be the only one immune to the brain control device….
[re=108031]WagTehGod[/re]: And Independence Day – the version in which the aliens win.
[re=108028]d4g33z[/re]: Everyone really should be VERY nice and polite to the Chinese, considering the fact they will own our nation, government and all, as soon as we default on their loans.
For my part I am learning how to cook flied lice and eggwoll. I am studying early Charlie Chan movies in an effort to learn their language. I numbuh won sun.
(apologies to Chinese Americans)
[re=107950]Serolf Divad[/re]: Awesome!
[re=107939]WIDTAP[/re]: NATHAN FILLION? *swoon, faint*
[re=108032]jbd[/re]: You are dead to me.
[re=107978]randomsausage[/re]: It all started when she asked “Who is the President of China”.
[re=108044]2druk2phluq[/re]:
But wirr you rove rong time? GI Numba One?
Their program is led by an excellent scientist, btw. He’s also deeply into world peace. http://images.politico.com/global/dr%20no.jpg
His assistant isn’t that shabby either. http://images.politico.com/global/dr%20no.jpg
Boom! goes London. Boom! paree.
It’s more room for them
And less for we.
“Gleaming city we’ve never heard about, we have a problem.”
[re=108032]jbd[/re]: You will take that back. You will take that back and say you love the firefly. You will attend any and all cons that have a member of the cast representing and squeal like a little girl. You will…Did you watch it in order?
If America falls here now,
we’ll never rise.
But if we choose another way…the Chinese way….
Convert now, or fall forever.
[re=108021]Canuckledragger[/re]: Isn’t that a cat?
[re=108015]freakishlystrong[/re]:
So bad. Isn’t that Major Dong?
Until they find the monolith floating around Jupiter, color me unimpressed.
[re=108022]WagTehGod[/re]: Aw, dammit! They’ve become The Company and we’re all Harry Dean Stanton and Yaphet Kotto! Fuck!
[re=107950]Serolf Divad[/re]: you and those scary videos. Brilliant!
[re=108077]Servo[/re]: +1 chortle. His cousin is a hit with zee ladies of Beijing — Wun Hung Guy.
[re=108044]2druk2phluq[/re]: I’ll mock the Sinos any day for feeding paint to their kids and gradually replacing their oxygen with coal dust, but this phoneme gag is just weak ass.
[re=108021]Canuckledragger[/re]: Mandarin is official. Cantonese is cool and gangsta.
http://british-chinese.blogspot.com/2007/09/has-anyone-seen-this-book-on-canto.html
[re=108102]randomsausage[/re]:
…who tag-teamed with Commodore Dick Mahogany.
Too bad China’s official news agency released a made up version of the success of the mission, hours before launch. It includes dialog between the astronauts. 1960s NASA never would have messed up this bad on their fake space flights and moon landings.
China space mission article hits Web before launch
Thu Sep 25, 9:20 AM ET
BEIJING – A news story describing a successful launch of China’s long-awaited space mission and including detailed dialogue between astronauts launched on the Internet Thursday, hours before the rocket had even left the ground.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080925/ap_on_re_as/as_china_space_article_1
[re=108127]TJBeck[/re]: Of course they did. They’re not as polished as us….yet.
[re=108004]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Signing up Chinese grad students is the only way a lot of university science and engineering programs can stay open since everyone in the USA want to do law school or get an MBA to be an investment banker–although that may not have quite the same cachet as a couple of weeks ago.
[re=108127]TJBeck[/re]: Don’t we have made up obits for old famous people before they die? I’ll bet there’s one out there now for McCain!
Obits – Orbits wassa difference?
[re=108032]jbd[/re]: I’m more of a Blow Fly or Butter Fly kinda guy myself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blowfly_(artist)
Yeah, after all those wall-street dingbats are out of jobs, we’ll start seeing rickshaws and shit…ya know, REAL work.
空間巨大的打擊猴公雞，雖然我們探索達到保爾森的屁股。
[re=108006]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …Manchu my friend, lets not go down this path! Meet you at IO9 in 30 minutes.
[re=108147]donner_froh[/re]: I know (I’m actually in a grad engineering program in which I’m a minority). Its sad how poorly US schools promote grad. programs.
[re=108013]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I still believe the creativity is there, BUT (if you look at the auto industry as an example) it’s the business guys who don’t want to invest in research and “uncertain” things. They see one idea and try to milk the cash cow for way too long. We need to go back to (or to for the first time?) a culture of not sitting on our laurels…I honestly don’t know if the US companies have learned their lesson yet
Talk about putting a Chink in our armor…
[re=108124]Servo[/re]: no wonder Andrew Sullivan checks out Wonkette every thirty minutes….
Outer space all star ball plunger my buttocks outer space all star ball plunger my buttocks
Translation doesn’t make any sense – “space side of the plannet….”?
Sweet Jesus, I can already feel the takeover occu球塞的屁球尽我屁.
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