STUPID MUPPET STUNTS  11:09 pm September 24, 2008

John McCain ‘Suspending’ Campaign by Campaigning More

by Ken Layne

No fuckin' honor at all.It really depends on what you mean by “suspend,” doesn’t it? John McCain’s maverick move to suspend his campaign so he can grandstand on something he knows literally nothing about — the American Economy — isn’t actually a suspension of anything. It’s a stupid stunt to get more campaign press coverage. And nothing is suspended at all. Go to McCain’s website, and you’ll see he’s still collecting campaign contributions and still running his trashy anti-Obama video spots. He’s still doing interviews (just not Letterman!) and he’ll almost certainly still do the debate on Friday. Also, he pulls this crap all the time.

The old gimmick McCain loves is to run standard dirty hyper-partisan campaigns, funded completely by lobbyists (who also literally manage his campaigns). Then, every few weeks, he does some showboat bullshit about being “above politics” or whatever, and an ever-decreasing number of political reporters briefly note this stunt, and then it’s all totally forgotten again.

Try to remember an example from, say, three weeks ago. Right, the GOP convention. Hurricane Gustav looked like it might pound New Orleans and the Republicans sure didn’t want to share prime time with the poor black people drowning, again, so McCain’s campaign decided it was all about “country first” and just canceled the first night of the convention and most of the second night.

It was cheap and cynical and of course it intentionally kept the hated monsters Dick Cheney and George W. Bush back in Washington, and by waiting out the hurricane the campaign also managed to bridge the gap between the exciting stunt of announcing Sarah Palin as the running mate on Friday — the morning after Obama’s epic nomination speech/spectacle at the Denver football stadium — and Palin’s carefully scripted “hockey mom” bitchfest/acceptance speech about how black people and their “communities” are really just ghettos of black people.

McCain also “suspended campaigning” when he ran for president eight years ago. After telling the press (his base) that he was going to announce his run in March 1999, he melodramatically “postponed” the announcement because of the U.S. bombing of the Serbs in Kosovo (and the rest of Serbia).

On a single day during this brave non-postponement, McCain appeared on Fox News, MSNBC, Larry King, Charlie Rose and the business channels to talk about Kosovo and his suspended campaign.

But nobody’s falling for that trick anymore.

Stop Me if You Think That You’ve Heard This One Before [Reason Hit & Run]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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NotLaughing September 24, 2008 at 11:11 pm

I thought the fundamentals were strong?

Why is he needed in Washington?

dilhavarti September 24, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Old fart had to poop.

Condiments-Only Diet September 24, 2008 at 11:18 pm

No, seriously, if he doesn’t show up at the debates, are they going to cut between shots of Obama and the empty halls of Congress where McCain is imaginarily (yeah, I said it) fixing our economy?

grendel September 24, 2008 at 11:19 pm
ihatepolls September 24, 2008 at 11:21 pm

Interesting, McCain suggests delaying VP debates.

Terry September 24, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Who thought that McCain’s campaign would implode with so much time to go before the election?

hockeymom September 24, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Britt Hume had Kondrake, Krauthammer and some tool from the Washington Times on after the big “suspension” announcement.

Their reaction?

Meh. McCain’s a drama queen.

SayItWithWookies September 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Okay, I’m going with John McCancel for a while. And I promise I’ll try to ride it into the dirt — however, I get the feeling he’ll do something horrifically stupid before that happens and we can move on to a new moniker.

ALIVE! September 24, 2008 at 11:27 pm

[re=107353]ihatepolls[/re]: Maybe we put Katie Couric up for Joey Biden for that VP debate.

SayItWithWookies September 24, 2008 at 11:29 pm

Captain Queeg, there’s a quart of strawberries here to see you.

The Lucky Republican September 24, 2008 at 11:30 pm

McCain is a sad old man. He and his antics make me sad. I don’t like feeling sad. Maybe next time America will do the right thing and nominate Willard “Mitt” Romney, aka Mittens. He and his antics make me smile. I like to smile.

Texan Bulldoggette September 24, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=107356]Terry[/re]: Don’t get too optimistic. I suspect Walnuts will have Dubya bomb Pakistan, Spain or Canada or bring bin Laden out of cryogenic freeze around Oct. 20. Yeah, I’m that cynical.

Blue Line September 24, 2008 at 11:32 pm

Gee, after watching the Couric interview, I can’t imagine why the McCain camp would ever want to delay the VP debate.

StrangelyBrown September 24, 2008 at 11:33 pm

McCain is just hoping that we are all stupid enough to confuse proximity to an economic plan with actually having an economic plan.

But won’t this ploy backfire now that Bush has summoned both of them to the White House, giving Barry an excuse for coming back to Washington without appearing to be following McCain’s lead?

slithy_tove September 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm

He really has become the powerless little man behind the curtain in The Wizard Of Oz.

grevillea September 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm

Fuck, things must be bad. Wonkette ran out of snark.

Norbert September 24, 2008 at 11:35 pm

[re=107353]ihatepolls[/re]: i read that Walnuts would move this friday’s debate to the time slot of the next one and the VP debate would be cancelled altogether. this means then he will win the election, die, and then Alpine Trash will be President and start shakin’ up and fixin’ the economy.

facehead September 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm

[re=107369]grevillea[/re]: Reality is outpacing us.

Keram2 September 24, 2008 at 11:40 pm

[re=107369]grevillea[/re]: Woah.

Johnny Zhivago September 24, 2008 at 11:43 pm

I’m concerned about that Palin debate – I’ve heard that if cringing symptoms last longer than 60 minutes they can lead to permanent brain damage.

FunkyPalmettoBug September 24, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Its hard to suspend something you struggle at.

Dreamer September 24, 2008 at 11:50 pm

I know a way they can win the VP debate, Mother-Moos Killer-whatever, should bring that poor child to the debate and constantly refer to him. That will fool at least 20% of Americans. Wanna bet her husband or daughter will be sitting in the audience with that poor child. BTW, was he spotted awake at all.

See, I am not making sense at all, please someone end this campaign. I cannot take anymore drama from this crazy little man. It is making me crazy.

shortsshortsshorts September 24, 2008 at 11:53 pm

All of my puke is belonging to George.

Johnny Zhivago September 24, 2008 at 11:55 pm

[re=107378]Dreamer[/re]: “you don’t mind if I breast-feed him while we debate, do you?”

grendel September 24, 2008 at 11:56 pm

Move the VP debate up to Friday… watch Caribou Barbie squirm

Dreamer September 24, 2008 at 11:57 pm

[re=107376]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Oh boy, then I better not watch.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 24, 2008 at 11:58 pm

You all are jealous. It takes a true hero like McCain to not let his campaigning get in the way of his campaigning.

Of course, when McCain’s full plan is revealed, you will no longer question his awesomeness. You see, first we bomb the hell out of Wall St. Then we will be greeted as liberators, and Wall St. will pay for everything themselves.

It has to work this time!

SPlaTz September 25, 2008 at 12:00 am

He’s buying time for Palin cram school. (evade, repeat simplistic talking points, wonder why I’m under such scrutiny, wave the Scarlet O’Hara fan……(VICTIM,SEXISIM!!!!)
Of course Palin needs to sound like the view of Russia equates heaps of knowledge. …….when it comes to talking about the ……things….um……. Yeah,…..other countries……yeah….(watch the Katie Couric interview and you will shudder.)

I used to have so much respect for McCain. That has evaporated! He is either drunk, um… or has drunk the Republic-cant kool-aid or has just plain gone WACKY. WTF?

So sad.

Wonder how the Neo-cons are going to rig this election.

Its so painfully obvious which direction it should go. OBAMA!

But pro-life is so much more important than if the money from my ex’s garnished wages, from his off shored job can buy me a pack of Parliaments. I’m pregnant again, but GOD IS LOVE.

SHEESH! No wonder they dont want to teach Darwinism, heaven forbid they kills a life. Or ignore another opportunity to talk about how LIBERALS are just plain EVIL.

We deserve what we get.

Dreamer September 25, 2008 at 12:00 am

[re=107380]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: LOL. It could happen.

Serolf Divad September 25, 2008 at 12:02 am

Seriously folks, this is not a time for partisan rancor. These are exceptional times, and we find ourselves in unprecedented circumstances as a people and as a nation. We are currently witnessing events that a few months ago we’d never dreamed possible. So I submit that we set aside our differences, just for the next few days and all come together by finding common ground on something we can all agree upon, and that something is this: John McCain is a world class wanker, his campaign managers crybabies and his VP choice is not fit to preside over a PTA meeting.

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:03 am

<–don’t appreciate being thrown off the chat thing

D' September 25, 2008 at 12:07 am

As an Oregon Duck, I’d like to say that I’m sorry for Tucker Bounds. Really, I am. The trustifarians on campus make even the most even-headed of us hate the “libruhls” on campus. Seriously. Doesn’t excuse that asshat, though…

d4g33z September 25, 2008 at 12:08 am

And yet. And yet. President McNuggets. I can read this one with my eyes closed.

dilhavarti September 25, 2008 at 12:09 am

[re=107384]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: The plan is classified.

btwbfdimho September 25, 2008 at 12:09 am

So now, Barack & Roll Obama’s basically running against Nader and who else? Alan Keyes?
The Banana Republicans should claim “Hey, We are all Keyesians now”. Hohohohohohoho! I’m laughing thru my tears.

jfruh September 25, 2008 at 12:12 am

I’m actually kind of cheered up by that Kosovo-era story — not because I need some proof that McCain’s a hack, but because it shows that campaigning for president 20 months before the actual election is a tradition that’s at least close to a decade old. Apparently I was blissfully unaware of the run-up to the election in early ’99 because I had better things to do and didn’t work in front of an always-on Internet connection. Plus there was no Wonkette!

doodle September 25, 2008 at 12:12 am

So … the problem is/was: McChicken, during debate rehearsals, kept saying, “Who am I? And why am I here?”

facehead September 25, 2008 at 12:14 am

[re=107387]Serolf Divad[/re]: True dat.

[re=107388]NotLaughing[/re]: How on God’s poo-stained earth did you manage that?

american mutt September 25, 2008 at 12:20 am

I can see market collapse from my house.

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:23 am

[re=107396]facehead[/re]: I’m here for 15 more minutes and then
it’s back to Salome

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 12:24 am

“Why is he needed in Washington?”
The Lousiana Purchase is up for vote.

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:25 am

14 more minutes

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:25 am

[re=107401]S.Luggo[/re]: 13 more minutes

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:26 am

[re=107391]dilhavarti[/re]: 12 more minutes

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:27 am

11 more minutes

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:27 am

[re=107398]american mutt[/re]: 11 more minutes

springfield_meltdown September 25, 2008 at 12:27 am

There are two things I’ve been planning my October around. One is the Project Runway finale and the other the VP debates. In fact I am more excited for the VP debate and had elaborate plans involving popcorn and reindeer sausage. I’m been almost interested in the presidential debates just to see old Walnuts fumble around and yell five and a half years. McCain better not screw up my entertainment schedule, not in these “extraordinary times” when I could use a laugh.

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:29 am

10 more minutes

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:30 am

[re=107401]S.Luggo[/re]: Awesome

RubberSoul September 25, 2008 at 12:34 am

I’m a little late, so forgive me if someone’s already said this:

Walnuts must have misunderstood when someone asked him to come up with a bailout plan.

NotLaughing September 25, 2008 at 12:35 am

[re=107415]RubberSoul[/re]: cool

mattbolt September 25, 2008 at 12:37 am

Hey, I’ve got a great joke for you. “American politics”.

And here’s the punchline: “This is how the most powerful nation on Earth actually elects a government.”

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 12:37 am

“It’s a stupid stunt to get more campaign press coverage.”
So truly cold. The campaign suspension is an admission that Aricept no longer works. Unlike you, I feel.

BillyT September 25, 2008 at 12:46 am

If McCain is going to be busy saving the world economy and can’t attend….

PALIN SHOULD STEP IN FOR THE DEBATE!! Isn’t that what a VP should do??

is she too scared? Or is McCain too scared to send her?

If she is mocking the community organizer from Chicago, maybe she would like to face Obama in a no-holds-barred match of wits and substance on the topic of….


Or is she bidding on Ebay for a Cliff’s Note version of “Foreign Policy for Dummies??”

contentsunderpressure September 25, 2008 at 12:47 am

I remember my great grandfather when he was McCain’s age. Grandma would not let him use the stove or any other appliance so the thought of a batshit crazy Sara Palin having the codes is only slightly worse than McGrumpy lashing out randomly due to the discomfort of terminal constipation.

How much longer can the Palin/McCain ’08 ticket continue to capture such high ratings? As entertainment it’s wickedly written, but come on, it is insane! Would McCain smearing his feces on the podium as Palin stood beside him grinning manically cause a dip? Wtf is going on?

jimh September 25, 2008 at 12:49 am

New McCain branded adult diapers: “Suspends”

Now really, the economy is tanking, so we should put off the debate and it should take place when the VP debate was scheduled, and that one should just… uh… go way. Because all painlin can say is that the John S. McCain economically solutions are, like, multi-faceted? This is completely transparent right? Tell me nobody’s falling for this. We need debates, we need meltdown.

grendel September 25, 2008 at 12:54 am

[re=107418]mattbolt[/re]: You are an evil man

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 1:19 am

Remember: this is a maverick here. Experienced in fine trades. Useful. Dignified. All that shit.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 1:22 am

[re=107415]RubberSoul[/re]: He thought the reference was to his diaper.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff September 25, 2008 at 1:22 am

[re=107359]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m still hooked on saying “rocket water”.

sarcasticusername September 25, 2008 at 1:27 am

walnuts is a grade A dumbass, this country can’t possibly be unhinged enough to elect him right? or can it? ugh the thought is the shit of nightmares.

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 1:36 am

That’s not racial Transcendence.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 1:39 am

[re=107419]S.Luggo[/re]: Since none of you pathetic libtard arts majors got the joke: Hello, hello. Is there anybody in there?

Soon we shall all be writing in Kanji. Look it the fuck up.

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 1:44 am

[re=107444]S.Luggo[/re]: Bullshit you very nice person you. Absolutely beyond the replication of acceptable ork human blood. Therefore unsanitary.

Words September 25, 2008 at 1:56 am

Re: how Neo Cons are going to throw the election: they are busy even as we blog making lists of people who’ve had their home mortgages foreclosed on so they can disenfranchise them on voting in Nov. Seriously. They be busy as little elves..

Roschelle September 25, 2008 at 1:57 am

After the Palin/Katie Couric interview…he should suspend Governor Palin…not his campaign. This poor woman is soooo not ready. It’s almost sad.

commiegirl September 25, 2008 at 2:01 am

Who are these fucktards, and why are they talking to themselves?

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 2:01 am

[re=107445]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You and Lady de Rothschild de Puma sexytime?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 25, 2008 at 2:02 am

Obama: (taptap) “Is this thing on”? Then he goes into Barry stand-up mode.

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 2:05 am

[re=107452]S.Luggo[/re]: You like teh Rothschilds’ now? You haves knew family tradition?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 25, 2008 at 2:07 am

[re=107444]S.Luggo[/re]: 缶詰の中からどんどん飛び出すキャラたちと一 I’m way ahead of ya..

shortsshortsshorts September 25, 2008 at 2:12 am


capt. tim September 25, 2008 at 2:33 am

please refer to my open letter/self portrait to john McCain

DC Spring September 25, 2008 at 2:35 am

Oh lord, I just came back from the financhuls… Big hugs all, incl Shortsies.

Net position: it is not going terribly well in the US economy.

Like so:

Teary and ozymandial.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 2:37 am

[re=107448]Roschelle[/re]: You ask, even at the cusp of these non-regulatory days — whop whop whop —, why McNuggets can’t do a Paulson and suspend Mother Goose from the ticket? [But why would he? To quote from the Rod Stewart, "She wears it well ..."]

Answer: She’s from Alaska after all. Bullwinkle must agree.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff September 25, 2008 at 2:41 am

In Honor of John McCain suspending his campaign in this time of great turmoil in (his image) the financial sector, I will suspend masturbation effective immediately till this whole mess (from , you know, last time) with the bankers is cleaned up. Okay, got meh porn site set up, and I’m suspending, suspending, suspending, oh god, still suspending. Don’t look, I can’t do it when you look. Suspending, and I,m suspending just a sec- OH YEAH! WHOO!! Suspending masturbation makes me sleepy.

Landstander September 25, 2008 at 2:57 am

Don’t you people get it!?!?
Suspended campaigning? Pulled ads? Canceled debate?
John McCain has conceded! The race is over! And just before we got to the juicy Rev Wright, full-on racism phase!

How ever will we start another national conversation on race? We can only hope some white cop kills some black guy in a particularly heinous fashion.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 3:01 am

[re=107455]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Over-priced Bordeaux?

MrAgro September 25, 2008 at 3:07 am

[re=107369]grevillea[/re]: Nah baby this is entry is just vintage Exasperated Layne.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 25, 2008 at 3:12 am

So, can we all agree that by next week, the the economy will be sound enough for McCain to campaign, but not sound enough for Palin to debate?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 25, 2008 at 3:18 am

I’m one of the weird people buying my first house in this mess. My boyfriend and I are completely solid.. For a mere $500 of our downpayment which was (gasp!) taken out of a bank credit card, the mortgage company wanted us to prove it was “paid back”. They actually asked us to ‘document’ paying $500 back to a credit card(?!) Because of the ridiculousness, the builder agreed to ‘gift’ us that money… Really a bizarre time to be buying a house.

Felicia September 25, 2008 at 3:23 am

[re=107380]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I remember visiting my grandma in WV and what passed for the alt weekly had some hyperventilating article in it about some pending breast-feeding legislation, totally making fun of it, like, “Oh no now people are gonna think we’re hicks if we allow breast feeding in public! This cannot stand, etc.!”

I don’t agree with her ideology, I’m outraged at the way she’s being sheiled from the press, and she doesn’t seem qualified for the VP nomination, but maybe the McCain camp was counting on us making breastfeeding jokes, jokes about her baby, her kids’ funny names, her love of guns, and all of that, because it is so easy and too hard to resist for so many people.

S.Luggo September 25, 2008 at 3:33 am

“Don’t you people get it!?!?
Suspended campaigning? Pulled ads? Canceled debate?”
Yes. Got it. It’s the nappy-nap time. You have a problem with that, demrat? Why do you hate these our United States of America and experience?

Go back to listening to the hep-cat jive music, you hemp smoking beatnik.
Country … what was I saying? … first! Cool.

gurukalehuru September 25, 2008 at 3:38 am

Hey, John McCain, suspending your campaign
means shut the fuck up

voyetra8 September 25, 2008 at 3:42 am

Errrr, does he look *healthy* to any of you armchair physicians?:

He kind of looks like he had a stroke or something….

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 25, 2008 at 5:02 am

Like most great thoughts, this has come late at night:

I have finally figured out Republican Code.

“Maverick” = “Bat Shit Crazy”

That or “Blatantly Political.”

Can you imagine four years of the country being run like this? Schizophrenically jumping around in policy positions until you get so desperate that you just blindly leap in some direction and call that leadership? It would make people remember the good times that came from Bush’s Cowboy Diplomacy.

njdon September 25, 2008 at 5:47 am

must be his second childhood:
i’m not camaigning today or;
i’m not going to be president today or;
i think i’ll be napoleon today or;
i’m just going to play with my race cars, zooommmm……….

friendlyskies September 25, 2008 at 5:48 am

[adjusts tin foil hat] Suspending the campaign is the first step toward suspending the election.

Hunter Gathers September 25, 2008 at 6:13 am

An open letter to Senator Walnuts

It’s time someone called you what you really are.
A pussy. That’s right. You are a giant pussy, Senator. You are fucking weak. We all know why you have tried to postpone Friday’s debate. It has nothing to do with the bailout. Or your hair on fire assesment of the country’s financial situation. It’s because you know you’re going to get clobbered. Obama’s going to clean your fucking clock. Barry is going to be the first person ever to stand up to you in a debate and call you out on your bullshit. And you’re scared. You could stand up to your torturers, but you refuse to stand up to Obama. You’re a gutless, yellow turd. Go ahead, bail on the debate. And talk Caribou Barbie into bailing on her debate while you’re at it. Anyone who watched the interview with Couric can see her for the class 5 moron that she is. And don’t give me that ‘country first’ shit anymore. I wipe my ass with your stupid slogans. Go ask Cindy for your cock and balls back (hint-they’re in her Prada bag) and go fuck yourself, Senator.

njdon September 25, 2008 at 6:17 am

nader, barr, paul: this is the opening you’ve been waiting for. here’s the ball. run with it. run, run, run.
let them fill the vacant debater spots.

of course,they’re losers but we need window dressing.

Digdig September 25, 2008 at 7:00 am

Yeah, Nader, Barr, and Paul all behind one podium dabating Barry behind the other.

lilblackcorvette September 25, 2008 at 7:01 am

[re=107461]DC Spring[/re]: thanks for the wake call. FUCKIN” AA

njdon September 25, 2008 at 7:05 am

scarborough cracking up right now. calls letterman and behar traitors.

Giant Robot September 25, 2008 at 7:06 am

[re=107482]Hunter Gathers[/re]: Amen.

Cape Clod September 25, 2008 at 7:15 am

Good News, Everyone! Katherine Jean Lopez at NRO’s The Corner is suggesting that Palin step in for McCain for the first debate.

I can’t think of a better way of illustrating to the American people the implications of electing Grampa Skin Cancer.

Giant Robot September 25, 2008 at 7:31 am

[re=107482]Hunter Gathers[/re]: I agree with you on McCain but I don’t think that Cindy has him by the balls. When I see her I think, “there’s a woman who long ago took to booze and pills to deal with the emotional and physical abuse and the general horribleness of living with JMC.” He makes sure that she stays on her meds and parades her around doing humanitarian crap and everyone stays happy. An abusive idiot + junkie trophy wife + 100 million dollars = The McCains…

pattonbt September 25, 2008 at 7:34 am

What I cant wait for is the reinstatement of the campaign! It will be a big party. There will be a rally and balloons and fair rides and apple pie. It will just be like a big old block party – the july 4th on steriods. We’ll get to hear about what McCain’s platform is, who he is, what he stands for.

Barry screwed up here. He only has one coming out party, WALNUTS will have 2. Maybe MTV will do a sweet sixteen birthday party special on it! WALNUTS is a genius.

Carrie_Okie September 25, 2008 at 7:41 am

[re=107444]S.Luggo[/re]: So… you are saying:

Hunter Gathers September 25, 2008 at 8:05 am

If Walnuts and Caribou Barbie somehow pull off this fucking stunt, I going to go to work on an interstellar communications device and try to get someone to transport me off this rock. I am beyond pissed off. Everyone that I run into who is a Walnuts supporter will be verbally destroyed from now until election day. One of the stupid crackers that I work with tried the ‘Country First’ shit and I got him so worked up he almost took a swing at me. Dumb fucker. He’s just as big a pussy as Walnuts is. Fuck him. Fuck all of these ‘conservative’ ass clowns. They can all choke on my dick.

BobLoblawLawBlog September 25, 2008 at 8:48 am

[re=107379]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yer back! I was afraid Chicago’d eaten you alive! I’ve seen what those rabid, corrupt little sheisters can do…running a black man for president of Amurka…honestly.

Back to the subject at hand:
Hahhahahaha McCain is such a tool.

Anarchangel September 25, 2008 at 8:51 am

It’s time for John McCainiacs
And they’re crazy to the max
So just sit back and relax
Let the economy collapse
They’re John McCainiacs!

Come join the P.O.W.
and the mayor of Big Lots
Just like we did some years ago
When we thought Bush was hot
They say the more we backed them
The safer we have got
Now hell breaks loose
In the voting booths
And moose are getting shot

For John McCainiacs
One is cute, one coughs and hacks,
But both of them wear church slacks
While they get corporate paybacks
Jo-ohn McCainiacs

Meet Palin and the child
some once thought was never hers
Her schedule going wild
On the verge of giving birth
But no labor pains here sir,
Contractions didn’t hurt
He’s got Down Syndrome and named Trig
Feel sorry for the squirt

But John McCainiacs
They will vote based on attacks
They’re crazy to the max
With an innate fear of blacks
They’re John McCain-y’s
Totally insaney
(Divorce and Teenage Babies!)

John McCainiacs!
“Screw all the facts!”

Anarchangel September 25, 2008 at 8:53 am

I had a comment, but it wasn’t posted. Liggity-lame.

Anarchangel September 25, 2008 at 8:53 am

Woops, nevermind!

Doglessliberal September 25, 2008 at 9:27 am

[re=107424]contentsunderpressure[/re]: I am seeing more and more McCain/Palin signs and bumper stickers around Northern VA, so I am still very worried.

disgustedcitizen September 25, 2008 at 9:28 am

[re=107398]american mutt[/re]: Congratulations! That makes you a stock broker.

Deepthroat September 25, 2008 at 9:42 am

I have such a searing hatred for all things McCain right now that as soon as you dropped the word Depends in there I thought of nothing except WALNUTS starring in that “Oops, I Crapped My Pants” SNL commercial. Except in my version, he gets hit by a Mac truck. And dies. Covered in his own feces.

OhWhyOhio September 25, 2008 at 10:19 am

[re=107511]Anarchangel[/re]: That was a masterpiece.

Deepthroat September 25, 2008 at 10:34 am

Anarchangel: Bravo sir or ma’am

wallythepug September 25, 2008 at 11:03 am

Andrew Sullivan today refers to Walnuts! as a “drama queen,” and he should know.

Panderfinder September 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm

stop dissing the muppets!

tiger September 25, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Leave it to Sister Palin of The Immaculate Snowmobile to make Couric look like Chomsky for chrissakes.
” we are gettin’in crisis mode…”!!
And her accent makes me shudder.

tiger September 25, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Oh Miss Sullivan? hells yeah.

OzoneTom September 25, 2008 at 1:01 pm

[re=107463]Special Agent Jack Mehoff[/re]: “Oh! Oh! I can’t stop! It feels sooo good!” — Mel Gibson in “Grandma’s Boy”…

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