Wonkette
Obama has a podium set up, and he’s going to make a statement! Let’s liveblog the biotch. Among the important questions: will Obama be wearing pants? Should Clay Aiken go to Washington to solve this crisis in his place, now that he’s a gay? GO GO GO…
4:40 — Here he is! One reporter was playing golf and he stopped to show up. Oh Boy.
4:41 — The economy is important.
4:41 — I CALLED MCCAIN FUCKING FIRST ABOUT A JOINT STATEMENT. TOM COBURN WAS THERE - ASK HIM. HE’S REPUBLICAN.
4:42 — Time for a bulleted list of Important things.
4:42 — Must have independent oversight board, taxpayers must get money back, Main Street must keep its roads or whatever. Free pay-porn subscriptions for all taxpayers if this thing passes.
4:44 — It’s not a Democrat or Republican problem — it’s no one’s problem, so let’s pay for it hooray QUESTIONS.
4:45 — First question: was John McCain try to fuck you in the ass with this thing?
4:45 — Answer: “Well let me explain the timeline,” meaning YES MOTHERFUCKER JOHN MCCAIN IS A POLITICAL SHITBIRD FROM PLUTO.
4:46 — “More important than ever” that we have the debate. Because of all the terrible problems today.
4:46 — President should know how to multi-task. Ooh doggy.
4:47 — Question: did John McCain tell you on the telephone that he wanted to cancel the debate, like a jackhole?
4:48 — Answer: He kind of mentioned that he might want to do that, but who knew he was SETTLED ON IT? Like what is that even.
4:49 — He told Capitol Hill that he’d come back if they wanted him, but he doesn’t want to introduce presidential politics into an already tenuous debate. Hmm well that sounds like a good response and stuff. HAHA CNN has a hilarious angry face of John McCain on its subscreen.
4:51 — Will there be a debate if there’s no decision Friday, Mr. Hussein?
4:51 — “Like I sez, if they want us up there we can go. Otherwise, let’s debate. Let’s just debate everything. I will debate his WIFE FTW.”
4:52 — Barry laughs, but he is so angry at this old lying coot Walnuts.
4:52 — We’re waiting for an interruption BREAKING NEWS thing from CNN announcing that McCain has fired Barack Obama from the SEC. Hey, a statement’s a statement right?
4:55 — He’s done, and he tells a reporter friend, “I’m having a great time.” Now he will go backstage and eat three live dogs out of rage.
4:56 — LOL, Chuck Schumer, direct quote: “I thought what Senator McCain did was just weird.”
4:57 — So to sum up: Barry will do whatever these Capitol Hill people want, but he’s still planning on debating. Don’t enter presidential politics into this. Thanks for doing that, Walnuts. You’ve just destroyed the economy.
“In response to Senator McCain’s call to postpone the debate and his subsequent flailing — I’m making some popcorn, bitch. This looks to be a good show.”
I leave this to the professionals.
Last ditch effort to save his campaign. No way. Debate or die!
Free posters
http://www.democratbydesign.typepad.com
I wish I had tequila.
Ooh, he’s all “Why do we need to take time off, this is your solution right here, you whiney little bitch.”
Someone yelled “yee haw!” backstage before Obama came out. This is gonna be good…
Here it Comes!! Chronology!!
4:43: “Did I mention Sen. McCain can choke on cock? No? Ok.”
Ooo. Reiterating the timeline of “I tried. He said we should talk and then issued his own press release.” Heh.
MUlTI-TASKING FTW!
Obama on whether or not to suspend the campaign: “I think it will be the president’s job to deal with more than one thing at once.” Snap!
He’s still being too nice for my liking. Needs to call them out for their bullshit once and for all.
“I think it is going to be part of the president’s job to do more than one thing at once.”
WIN!!!!!!!!!
Re 4:45: He said “chronology”, not “timeline”. ELITIST!
Daaaaamn Straight, we gonna debate!
Damn right Bitch!! Multitask MF!
Ah, so McCain told Obama he was planning on suspending…Obama thought it was merely mulling. hmmmm.
I WANT AN ANIMATED TIMELINE!
Let me take time out from my day to say. Thank God for Wonkette.
Clay Aiken’s gay? Who’s Clay Aiken?
OMFG! CLAY AIKEN IS GAY?!?!!!!
McCain is trying to get out the debate because it starts after his bedtime. Maybe they should move it 6:00pm right after the early-bird special.
John McCain has a hero complex. He had to try to be the hero today and take credit. Message: Does not work well with others.
BLOG FASTER
Wow he actually sounds pissed
“If I can be helpful, then I am prepared to be anywhere at any time.” So there. I can debate AND be helpful.
And another “Presidents are going to be expected to do more than one thing at a time.” HA! So there, Grampy. Bet he does it without a nap, too.
Liveblogging is a lot like death. It sucks.
StripesAndPlaids: I fucking lol’d. Seriously, everyone in the office was like “WTF!”.
debate should go forward
SkimLatteModerate: I do like the “lol learn to multitask” line, but in my dream world he’d be making the point of how much of a political stunt this is. But maybe that’s too meta for a nightly news soundbite.
I listened to Barry, and the man is far too polite. WALNUTS! is a scheming shitsack. Someone had to say it.
We’ve Both Got Big Planes…nuff said.
John McCain can’t multitask, ‘cos he hasn’t seen this
Lascauxcaveman: Yeah & he recently squeezed a baby from his urethra.
It’s a sad day in America when a rich, old, white man is scared to meet an uppity negro on the campus of Ole Miss. Hahahahahaha, Walnuts is cooked.
Walnuts and his deregulation wrinkly pimpled ass better show up, the debate is only about the foreign policy, he just wants to start bombing anyway.
Barry strangled a thousand kittens backstage. It’s his go-to stress reliever.
taxpayer will be paid back.
when was the lasttime you were paid back from a firm associated w/wall st.?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: McCain wants to know if wetting the bed during an afternoon nap counts as multi-tasking.
This is like listening to one of those conference calls where no one repeats the question, so no one knows what he’s talking about.
Charlie Brown’s Teacher: Waaa waaa wa wah.
Barry: What I’m planning to do is debate on Friday. That’s what I’m planning to do. The American people need to know what we’re planning to do in moving the economy forward.
Ooo. And he actually DID say that. I be a fast typist!
Lordy, Why can’t I see teh Barry on teevee?
Why do i has a jobz?
From the sounds of things, it seems he is teabagging the old shithead for everyone’s viewing pleasure. I’ll just have to watch Keith masturbate to it laterz…
I’m ready to reach across the aisle and bite him in the ass. Next?
Dammit, CNN’s lame video player sucks, I have the @#$%&*-ing PLUGIN fools!
President should know how to multi-task. hahahahaha BURN.
NoWireHangers: Yeah, I think McCain’s going to get away with this bullshit, legitimately.
If anyone has a screencap of the “hilarious angry face of John McCain” on CNN, post it!
magic titty: Totally. I cannot WAIT for KO tonight. The rant. It shall be beee-yoo-tiful.
Hehe. Barry rocks.
How come the Wonkette clock at the top of the page is 1 hour behind the time reported here. Oh my god, you can see the future!! Stock and betting tips please! I promise I won’t short sell
sk1win:
Heh.
I love that he reminded everyone that they both have big painted planes that can get them from here to there quickly.
MathewBrooks: BLOG FASTER Why, you hear banjos?
NoWireHangers: Yes too polite, but perhaps pretty smart. Laying out the facts as just facts. He doesn’t have to be the one to say McCain is being partisan - the talking heads can call John a jackass. AND will let the McCain camp try to answer questions about it
Parting shot: “I’m having a great time!” Hee!
Okay, new drinking game for Friday–covering all the bases–if he shows up or no.
facehead: Stop being so negative.
Personalized Glitter Graphics
ms_mcgee: I’m guessing Tucker Bounds will not do well on responses to this. Barry’s setting it up to let the McCain camp hang themselves.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: It’ll be grand. I like when KO gets high-falootin’ and passive/aggressive, and starts calling every asshole in DC ‘Sir’. He even did it to Hillary after she starting begging bitters to shoot Hopey in the face.
Obama actually took question–Wrinkles shuffled off for the door as quickly as his aged legs would take him. You are so fucked old man!
Clancy_Pants: Damn.. it didn’t work.. it was a masterpiece if I say so myself. Be cool!
magic titty: ooohhh tonight is going to be funnnnnn!
we could tax al qaeda and iraq to get some of our money back. better yet send the ceos of troubled financials over there to collect it.
magic titty: If it comes even close to his “McCain had better cough up where Bin Laden is hiding, if he really knows” rant on 9/11 eve, I’ll be happy.
ms_mcgee: Tucker Bounds is the Scott McClellan of the McCain administration.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I didn’t see the debate but I hope to god he said:
If Walnuts feels the need to be in Washington because he cant multitask, I propose we move the debate to Washington at Venue X, same time. My campaign has already reserved for and paid for the space. I’m willing to miss an extra 3 hours of sleep and debate at 3am to prove I can handle crises at that hour
eatsshootsleaves: No. No. No. NO. The news organizations should just have a running loop of John McCain saying he really didn’t understand the economy, pictures of him with Keating, video of “Economics is fundamental and shit” and then this - THIS bloody stupid political stunt to get out of his math test. Aneurysm here I come. Sigh. I’m sorry. I’ll go back to work now.
If they debate and don’t mention this bailout thingy, it’s not much of a debate. If they do go there, how can you get a bipartisan deal done? I think the crazy old coot is right. Let’s wait a few days. Besides, nobody in the national press really wants to spend a Friday night in Mississippi anyway.
RALPH NADER WOULD NOT LET THIS HAPPEN THIS IS THE PROBLEM WHEN YOU HAVE TWO PARTIES SOMETIMES THEY COOPERATE WITH EACH OTHER.
Clearly, in the end, this isn’t the case.
SayItWithWookies: Ouch for Scott McClellan! I wouldn’t give Tucker that much credit.
Cindy must be makin’ her own pills at this point…poor old cooter.
pdiddycornchips: It’s a foreign policy debate!
Currently, on cnn.com - their “Hot Topics”:
U.S. Economy, Iran, N. Korea, Presidential Debates, Lindsay Lohan.
The question on everyone’s lips: What would Lindsay Lohan do?
I love how Walnuts also managed to totally screw the news cycle that was going to bring us the second big VP media interview - Palin and Couric. Man, they are scrambling at CBS right now!
SayItWithWookies: I can’t tell if he would take that as an insult or a compliment….
You are all missing the BIG story! Right there, on CNN’s front page!
Have Sex Or Go to Sleep?
WAKE UP PEOPLE!
SayItWithWookies: And a Dildo all at once!
Borat: Actually, I like them keeping it in Mississippi. These debates are a HUGE deal to the areas picked for them. I know. There was one at the University of Richmond when I lived around there. It’s a major event for the entire city. Both candidates agreed to so grace that area with a debate of great prestige. Hopey is honoring that promise. McCain is breaking promises. It want it all on him.
I seriously heard from somebody I kinda know that they read in some comments on teh intertubes that Johnny Seven Houses wanted to cancel because he’d had a stroke.
Get the media on the phone! Developing!
iwillsavethispatient: Lesbians will save the economy!
biggest hail mary pass ever!
old man yells at clouds. FTW!
My favorite was the “We both have got big planes with our logos painted on the side” line… awesome!
So, Hopey debates himself because Juan debases himself.
Cool. Let ‘er rip.
Crow T. Robot: Is your source related to Palin’s lover’s ex-wife’s brother’s sister-in-law’s neighbor? If not, I’m withholding judgment.
Crow T. Robot: CONSPIRACY!!1!!
tunamelt: totes saved to my desktop. thx
iwillsavethispatient: She would do a skinny and dude-ish ladyfella who deejays the shiznit out of a few clubs and owns a large strap-on.
part of what McCain is doing is to minimize the importance of the debate, that’s it’s just another stop on the campaign. So when he does poorly, he can say he was in Washington saving the country while Obama was rehearsing his act.
So what is McCain going to do when he shows in Washington? Sit in on the negotiations? Doubtful. He’ll be holding campaign news conferences in the Capitol.
Actually, I think he suspended the campaign so he could ditch the campaign reporters in Florida.
Obama could have been a bit more crisp in his answers (be succinct, Barry), but he did answer QUESTIONS. McCain tossed his dud grenade and ran.
See McCain, this is what happens when you skip your daily meal of Ensure . . .
tunamelt: I’ve never seen drinking game rules look more official! U iz talented. Thanks!
iwillsavethispatient: “What would Lindsay Lohan do?”
A chick, clearly.
magic titty: I plan on finding a replay and listening to it quietly on earphones… or 3 more hours to go
Now on sale at Uncle John’s Haberdashery:
SUSPENDERS!
The Politico corrals some retards to comment on this:
http://www.politico.com/arena/
Barry is going to have to be the big boy and do the bi-partisan solution thing.
He’s done his thing to put the debate cancel/postponement on McNutz.
Now he has to look Presidential.
But don’t fret too much. Johnny has only postponed the inevitable humiliation, not canceled it.
My personal recommendation for Obama’s schedule for the next week:
8:00 am to 11:00 am - Campaign at some stop away from Washington.
11:00 am to 2:00 pm - return to Washington - lunch on the plane
2:00 pm to 8:00 pm - be all over the Capital Building - when not on the Senate floor or in Committee, be doing press conference or meetings where the press is invited in at the start of the meeting to ask a few questions.
8:00 pm to 9:00 pm Tuck in the kids, supper with the wife.
9:00 pm to 12:00 am - Fly to next day’s campaign stop.
12:00 am to 8:00 am - Sleep, breakfast and morning call home before the kids are off to school.
So, since McCain is now a big chicken, can we start calling him McNuggets?
tunamelt: That might work… until they start out-sourcing lesbianism.
PoliTacky: Win
A bank, a bank, my countessdom for a bank!
PoliTacky: Yes We Can!
4tehlulz: I actually read that crud. So thanks.
Rumor: McCain is OUT! Mittens is IN to replace him!!!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: bitchincamaro: Thanks, I’m going to a debate watching party and wanted to make something special to go with the alcohol.
PoliTacky: McNuggets - DONE. Extra crispy please
PoliTacky: Yes. Epic win.
4tehlulz: magic titty: I’m willing myself not to click that link. Only anger and sorrow could follow.
iwillsavethispatient: Not a bad idea, American lesbians are overpaid and lazy. It takes ten American dykes to do the work one average Chinese lesbo. Shameful, I’m gonna go destroy my entire collection of “Curious Catholic Girls” 1-47.
To summarize
Obama thinks bipartisan means working together
McCain thinks bipartisan means stab the brotha in the back
Bush thinks Bipartisan is a small country that borders Turkey
Palin thinks bipartisan is something Lindsey Lohan should be ashamed of
Johnny Zhivago: what? where is that a rumor? or are we just starting it?
me sad. the ban on off shore drilling has expired.
Jim Newell:
Trust me, anything having to do with economics is foreign to people in Mississippi.
If McCain wanted top make a bold move he should have come up with a clear position on the bailout and then requested that Friday’s foreign affairs debate be changed to a debate on the economy. Obama wouldn’t have been able to say no. A President doesn’t vote on legislation, they lead by making public statements and moving the public. This is a huge mistake.
I have a picture of one of the weird pictures of McCain that CNN had on… Not sure if it’s the same one that they’re talking about.
Unfortunately, for some reason the file size is too big to send it from my phone to my email.
epic fail
tunamelt: Has to be that we’re starting the rumor. Although Mittens and Caribou Barbie would by hysterical.
Crow T. Robot: No, it was a neuroparalyzer (i.e. botox) o.d .
Cogito Ergo Bibo: OH MY GOD, THEY’RE REPLACING JOHN MCCAIN WITH MITT ROMNEY!
Don’t you haters read Drudge? McWALNUTS! is suspending his campaign. Discuss.
I have figured it out. The republicans cried “Bailout!” and McCain got confused and did!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: In all fairness, there were some intelligent responders on there. But one or two smarmy fellows started rambling about how this shows McCain as a Maverick or some dumb shit and I immediately began to brood.
shortsshortsshorts: OMG!! NADER IS PULLING OUT OF THE DEBATE!!! EVERBODY PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT AND PANIC BECAUSE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS!!!!! NADER SUGGESTED A JOINT ECONOMIC MESSAGE FIRST!!!! HE TEXTED MCCAIN ABOUT IT!!!
tunamelt: Watch someone over at the evil orange satan find that one through the meticulous google alert he’s set up and go batshit.
Johnny Zhivago: OK, fun is fun, but is this an actual rumor or not? Given the health rumors I’ve heard about McCain it not implausible…
magic titty: Next, they’re going to say he’s the Great Regulator. Politico people make my head hurt.
SkimLatteModerate: We don’t want him labeled as an “angry black man.” America’s totes cool with angry old white dudes.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Yea, and Congress is adapting Obamas 4 point plan to work with the banks.
Taking an ownership stake.
No executive excess pay
interest or profit sharing
main street help at the same time, ie mortgages renegotiated
Tell me one reason you could even consider voting for McNuggets, Canmon? Just one.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I hope so, the bastards.
liberaltruthsayer: OMFG! Exactly what happened!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: The Great Regulator—like fiber.
PoliTacky: The other nice things about Mcnuggets is its the crappiest part of the chicken (literally, a la snausages), reconsituted like frakenstein, cut into one of 4 delightful shapes, enjoyed by fatass mouth breathers around the world, and come with a variety of “special” sauces?
I think that’s it. Correct me if I left anything out…too drunk/high to be mutually exclusive and collectively exhaustive
I will be at Shea watching my beloved Metsies vanquish the Cubs tonight, but I would so rather be home drinking screw cap wine and chortling as the various Tuckers try to explain why their guy isn’t a first rate buffoon.
user-of-owls: Duh, if you’re a woman, you can do both!
user-of-owls: He could have suspenders AND a belt and his pants would still fall down.
It’s vital that they have this debate, even though nobody but political bloggers and their loser commenters care about it.
facehead: You forgot that Nadir warned us all about this crisis in 1968 when he wrote some boring book about cars, and only 2% of the population listened to him and the rest of us suck and are stoopid losers.
Oh, and Nadir didn’t bang those GM autoworker Ho’s. (well, i respect him for that, justimagine 2 femail detroit UAW plaid shirted detroit caprice classic drivers…2 gimps, now that’s a different matter)
McCoward can’t multitask and he’s afraid the black guy is going to steal his wallet and his wife.
Also, I cannot even think about a political appearance any longer without imagining what wonkette’s liveblogging is going to present. It’s just too funny.
Go vote on whether postponing the debate is good or bad
Here:
http://james-eng.newsvine.com/_question/2008/09/24/1906168-agree-or-disagree-fridays-presidential-debate-should-be-postponed-so-the-candidates-can-focus-on-the-economy?spThreadStart=4
and here:
http://www.cnn.com (search for quick vote.)
4tehlulz: Dientes: Borat: shortsshortsshorts: Borat:
I doodled up a little something:
http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l430/PoliTacky/LOLitics/PoliTacky_Mccain_McNUGGETS_1.jpg
http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l430/PoliTacky/LOLitics/PoliTacky_McCain_McNUGGETS_2.jpg
lol
user-of-owls: WIN
serj!: Sorry, I’m an Ovary-Challenged American.
Jukesgrrl: Thought Palin wore the pants.
user-of-owls: I vote go to sleep, wake up early and have sex.
sanantonerose: Yippee for me! My first one ever…and from someone respectable!*
*By Wonkette standards. Your respectability may vary. Respectability in the Wonkette mirror may appear larger than it actually is. Etc.
PoliTacky: I like them both, but the second one is the most awesomest!
Obama can debate Nader on Friday. I bet he’s available and willing.
SisterTruth: At the James-eng site, in order not to be age-ist and to keep McAncient down the path to political Armageddon, I voted “Strongly Agree”. I try to be as encouraging as can I with enfeebled grey-haired folks. (Yes, grandma, you should definetly tart yourself up like some sailor’s whore!]
I didn’t bother to vote at the CNN site. Instead I watched the news video, “Mom gives up baby, sells her breast milk”. One can never be too well informed.
Dientes: Thanx!! I just threw them both out there, what the hell, why not!
McCain can’t multi-task, because when he turns on the Multi-Finder, it totally causes his Mac Plus to grind to a halt when he opens Wordstar and Hypercard at the same time.
McCain is a pussy with a capital P.