OH NOES!Here’s your Associated Press bulletin:

AP NewsAlert
Sep 24 02:51 PM US/Eastern
NEW YORK (AP) – John McCain wants to delay debate with Obama to focus on economic crisis.

Has there ever been another presidential campaign that consisted solely of dumb muppet stunts? [The Trail]

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  1. …WoW, he just pulled a Palin! Well maybe not, she wanted to send her second in command in her place and there is no way WALNUTS! is that senile!

  2. Couter-propose that Biden and Palin schedule a replacement debate on Friday, in addition to the currently scheduled VP debate. That will allow McCain and Obama to focus on the economy as McCain suggests.


  3. McCain’s pretty much in complete free fall now, isn’t he? His staff must be afraid that he’d go off on a rant during the debate and let folks see the real him.

  4. What exactly does John McCain plan on doing when he returns to DC?

    We all know that his injuries derived from five and one-half years of receiving sexual favors from his Asian sex slaves will prevent him from using his abacus.

  5. Barry? Here’s what you say: “I’m not cancelling. I, unlike my opponent, can both govern and communicate at the same time. And at times like these, the electorate needs to know where their leaders stand.”

    That. Would. Be. AWESOME.

  6. I genuinely don’t understand this… the economic crisis isn’t like a hurricane, there’s no end in sight to “resume” the campaign. What exactly does McCain suggest? Postponing the elections, too, until we’re out of a recession?

  7. [re=106180]lilblackcorvette[/re]: well, if he’s modeling himself after a certain recent president who also believes that discussion and debate on issues are a bad thing, and that all decisions should be made behind closed doors, then yes, yes it DOES look presidential.

  8. [re=106177]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Agreed. Why can’t McCain do both?

    Or can’t he at least send Palin in his place? Isn’t she ready to step in from day one?

  9. Yeah let’s postpone the debate until this economic crisis sorts itself out. Surely it’ll all wind down in a few weeks with plenty of time left before the election. I mean the Great Depression only lasted what, 7, 8 days? We’re in the home stretch!

  10. I hope Barry puts the screws to McCain on this. I’m getting to a very aggressive place about this election. I’m now fantasizing about Walnuts! taking a Ford slip down a flight of stairs and breaking a hip or something.

    BTW, I had extreme difficulty sleeping last night and several Wonkette comments from yesterdays threads were scrolling through my mind in the dark AM hours while I shivered in bed. Fuck you slacker comedians for invading my sleepy time. Get out of my head!

  11. As we all know, McCain is key to this bailout. Key, I tell you. If he wasn’t in DC, nothing would get done in congress. Given the number of times he as actually gone and voted in DC this year, that would explain a lot.

  12. I can certainly understand why McCain doesn’t want to have his “ha, ha, ha, the surge worked, suckers!” National Security debate in the midst of a U.S. Economic meltdown. After all: “ha, ha, ha, the surge worked, suckers!” is McCain’s only trump card, and if he tries to play it now the rest of the country’s going to be like: “WTF! I’m about to lose my job, my house, my boat, my car and my dog… and will probably have to sell my daughter to a wealthy Chinese financier so as not to have to pawn my guns, and McCain’s going on about Iraq? WTF!? WTF!?”

  13. To be fair for a minute, McCain did propose town hall style debates earlier and Obama had refused, so I’m going to call the “who hates debating more” contest even for now.

  14. Postpone it because it will be intensely debilitating to the McCain campaign to be shown as so dramatically out of touch for a period of three hours during prime time.

    I mean postpone it because of the financial something something. John’s too busy burning the midnight oil in his office coming up with a solution to debate.

  15. Obama should go to a retirement home in Florida and spend half the time listening to concerns from the American people, and the other half talking about his ideas for fixing the economy.

  16. [re=106210]obfuscator[/re]: I think Boyle’s dead. But…meh…same difference. Weekend at Bernies with Peter Boyle would be far more intelligent than Jammakain.

  17. No, Obama can’t just be like, “Fuck that,” because then McCain will be like “HE IS PUTTING POLITICS OVER COUNTRY” even though this entire move on McCain’s part is basically putting politics over country considering the debate is all of a few hours. I have no idea how Obama is going to respond to this, but I really don’t think it makes McCain look anything other than desperate.

  18. is this not the lamest stunt EVER???? what is he going to do? roll pennies at the mint? hopey should say — nice try sport and continue kicking his ass!!!

  19. [re=106208]dilhavarti[/re]: Straight Talk: He completely forgot that he promised to help Lindsey Graham’s best friend’s cousin move into a new apartment Saturday morning, so he needs to get to bed by 7:00 Friday evening. Totes sorry, America.

  20. [re=106179]rambone[/re]: By receiving sexual favors, I assume you ONLY mean he was takin’ it. There is no other suggestion possible. God, what I’d do to him for 5 1/2 years as a young enemy pilot you don’t even want to imagine. Or, maybe you do?

  21. [re=106214]Miller[/re]: See, that’s part of what makes this so rich. A week ago, McCain was all, “the fundementals of the economy are strong.” And then, at snail increments, he started realizing, oopsy, this is a big ol’ shitstorm. So then he tried to become The Regulator! And no one bought it. So then he’s talking about firing the head of the SEC (or the FEC, depending upon which speech you’re listening to), even though neither of them seem to be to blame. And everyone is just laughing and laughing at him.

    This basically boils down to him saying, “Stop laughing at me! I’m taking this seriously!” And if he can skip talking to anyone until the election, he’d basically rather, anyway.

  22. Time out! That one was practice. I called dibs before. No slap backs. Punch buggy blue! Look over there. Oops! I crapped my pants…

    But seriously, what could WALNUTS! of all people possibly do to help the current economic situation? I wouldn’t trust him to balance my checkbook.

  23. did you read the entire article? Obama called him this morning to issue a joint statement. Now McCAin is acting all like I was thinkging about this all the while. Barry, Just get up and call BULLSHIT!

  24. Yep, Obama should show up anyway and answer all the questions, and we can get nice wide shots of the empty podium, perfectly illustrating the McCain stragety.

  25. …ironically this fukk up of a President can find 30 minutes during this economic cluster fukk to talk on TV tonight! So why the hell cant WALNUTS! find 90 minutes to debate Barry?!?!?!?!?!

  26. [re=106180]lilblackcorvette[/re]: To look presidential, you need to think about what other presidents would do. Bush for example. What would he do?

    Read some goat book to 2nd graders I think. Hey, why doesn’t he do a video call in to the debate and read the same book?

  27. Tomorrow morning, I will suspend my campaign and return to Washington after speaking at the Clinton Global Initiative. I have spoken to Senator Obama and informed him of my decision and have asked him to join me.

    It’s a setup. Rove is going to hide a gun in the bathroom and Michael Corleone is going to shoot Obama!

  28. [re=106176]PoliTacky[/re]: Totally hold the debate anyway, with an empty wheel-chair and dangling I-V rack standing by.

    [re=106170]WIDTAP[/re]: Did you mean “cooter proposal”?

  29. [re=106213]jinmoom[/re]: To be also fair, if Obama had agreed to a series of town hall style debates, which supposedly favor McCain, Obama would be a fool. “What a generous offer!”

  30. [re=106227]magic titty[/re]: That would be the greatest thing ever. Then for the rest of the campaign Barry can bitch about how that prick McCain refused to go to his Town Hall Meeting and THATS why the race got negative.

  31. Well crap, I go to make cupcakes with my little boy & meanwhile, Walnuts is admitting he can’t walk & chew gum at the same time. BTW, did anyone inform Walnuts this is a foreign policy debate???

    Now Barry can totally say that Walnuts fornicates with squirrels, slaps around autistic children & pees on his shoes because Walnuts wouldn’t debate him in uhmmm…an officially sanctioned presidential debate.

    (Also, thanks for the Drudge-esque flashing siren–I almost started convulsing!)

  32. Apparently, WALNUTS has not been probably introduced to speakerphone, which could allow him to attend and speak at meetings from exotic, faraway places like Mississippi.

  33. Time for a quote from “Top Gun,” the hit movie about John McCain’s training as a jet pilot:

    Obama: You’re everyone’s problem. That’s because every time you go up in the air, you’re unsafe. I don’t like you because you’re dangerous.

    McCain: That’s right! Ice… man. I am dangerous.

  34. [re=106261]bitchincamaro[/re]: Or, a single walnut with googly eyes glued to it. Maybe they can get Robert Smigel to do McCain’s voice and nudge it around like its’ moving.

  35. The Arizona senator compared the situation to that facing the nation following the 2001 terrorist attacks, saying politics must be put aside for the moment. “We must show that kind of patriotism now,” he said. “Americans across our country lament the fact that partisan divisions in Washington have prevented us from addressing our national challenges. Now is our chance to come together to prove that Washington is once again capable of leading this country,” he added.

    WHAT a LOAD of bullshit. It’s patriotic to avoid the electorate? Pussy.

  36. [re=106196]southernbitch[/re]: Damn straight talk there.

    McCain does not want to talk to Hopey about foreign policy now.
    Because they will have to talk about the huge bomb in Pakistan, and McCain knows nothing about the region or current events without Lieberman standing next to him. So, it would be a double shot, looking dumb on the economic crisis and dumb on foreign policy. Voting has begun after all! So, could get even more Independents over to the smart guy Hopester.

    Or McCain is scheming with the GOP about how to throw this vote on the bail out.

    [re=106234]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Would have stopped the McNasty campaign from lying their asses off, too, I suppose.

  37. WALNUTS is teh suck:

    At 8:30 this morning, Senator Obama called Senator McCain to ask him if he would join in issuing a joint statement outlining their shared principles and conditions for the Treasury proposal and urging Congress and the White House to act in a bipartisan manner to pass such a proposal. At 2:30 this afternoon, Senator McCain returned Senator Obama’s call and agreed to join him in issuing such a statement.

  38. does walnuts realize that she hasn’t been elected yet, and there are duly-elected idiots still holding office that are capable of robbing, stealing and (heh) solving the crisis ?

    i think the economy is quite capable of sailing off the end of the earth without the help of walnuts and peggy hill focusing their brain-powers on it.

  39. [re=106200]SayItWithWookies[/re]: There’s a lot that can fall from the trees with $700b. Enough to make Cindy Brady look poor. Then he can kiss that cunt goodbye and go after Snowbilly or those Brazillian models he has wet dreams over

  40. WTF_Files:I think the nation can spare him for a couple hours during prime time to get his [i]ass eaten[/i] alive, er — to participate.

    He’s not in Nam anymore.

  41. [re=106268]PoliTacky[/re]: Hey now, John McCain IS the economy. He learned all he needed to know in his FIVE AND A HALF YEARS in a cage. Without him, this country would grind to a halt. Or something.

    Does he realize that more than half of Americans hate the idea of a bailout? They’d rather lose their jobs and live in tent cities than to make sure the cocksuckers on Wall Street can still afford their Country Club dues.

  42. From the AP:

    The Obama campaign said Obama had called McCain around 8:30 a.m. Wednesday to propose that they issue a joint statement in support of a package to help fix the economy as soon as possible. McCain called back six hours later and agreed to the idea of the statement, the Obama campaign said. McCain’s statement was issued to the media a few minutes later.

    Wow. What a dick.

  43. this is a perfect picture of the difference between the candidates. Obama: willing to talk about ideas and demonstrate his preparedness for office. McCain: resorting to political stunts and Patriotic anxiety-attacks.

  44. [re=106293]4tehlulz[/re]: Aww…Obama stole his thunder, so he has to one up him by going to DC? I guess if you can use teh Tubez, you have to be where the paper and pencils are.

  45. [re=106284]lilblackcorvette[/re]: Mittens: “The GOP has made a terrible mistake, and I, Mitt Romney, will now be running for president! I will be replacing Sarah Palin with this facsimile woman-shaped Rice-Krispy Treat. Thank you, and may the Mormon Space Jesus bless America!”

  46. [re=106180]lilblackcorvette[/re]: You’re right. The more I think about it, the more I realize this is the height of arrogance. Like we need the motherfucker to drop everything and suddenly get interested in the welfare of the country. “McHoover First!”

  47. “It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem,” he said. “We must meet as Americans, not as Democrats or Republicans, and we must meet until this crisis is resolved.”

    “Hey, if I had a magic wand I could wave to use – say, computers – to send messages instantly to each other, we would be able to do both the debates and the crisis management. But this isn’t fantasy land, this is 2008 and I have a prostate the size of New Zealand,” McCain added, then grew seven new tumors on his face.

  48. [re=106176]PoliTacky[/re]: He can question himself sternly, and then answer calmly in that melodious voice of his. Sigh… I think I just creamed myself.

  49. I’m totally disoriented here. It’s a total hack stunt on McCain’s part, but I have enough independents in my family to know they’ll fall for this. All it does is reinforce this Country First bullshit that everyone with a brain knows isn’t true.

  50. [re=106283]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: He is so fucking desperate. Palin will soon be sent out to SHOW YOUR TITS! SHOW YOUR TITS! SHOW YOUR TITS! at the next “rally” in Daytona Beach.

  51. [re=106280]Delicious[/re]: Obama should just start refering to McCain as “Maverick” in his best Val Kilmer voice. Actually, that’s probably a bad idea. People think Top Gun is the best war documentary ever made. (USA!)

  52. I go to Ole Miss and have been highly inconvenienced this entire semester while the university and community prepares for the debate.
    Robert Khayat is going to kick someone’s ass.

  53. [re=106304]OuterBoroughPrincess[/re]: Air sucked out of my chest. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Fucking bastards. Very bipartisan move, jackass.

  54. Here’s a question: so what’s Governor Sarah going to be doing while the McCain campaign is “suspended”? Tanning? Finally finding the time to testify before that panel in Alaska? Campaigning anyway? ‘Cause she sure isn’t going to be on the Hill with Walnuts, unless Friday is also “bring your daughter to work day”.

  55. [re=106304]OuterBoroughPrincess[/re]: Oh, that is just too much. KO and Rachel Maddow are going to be a rare delight tonight. I’ll be needing boxed wine and Cheetohs for this.

    [re=106318]magic titty[/re]: Unfortunately, no one will have the money or the gas to get there. Poor Barbie. All tarted up and no where to go.

  56. oh, snap. “Following September 11th, our national leaders came together at a time of crisis…”

    Don’t you pull that “I’m feeling all bipartisanny” bullshit with me.

  57. [re=106267]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Indeed. Glad you’re back, btw.

    They better not postpone with sumbitch. I want to hear McCain say the words ‘malarkey’ and ‘H-bomb’ this week, goddamit. I’m tired of waiting.

  58. Obama just needs to tell the old man that he is prepared to debate AND deal with the economy NOW, and he doesn’t need to take time off because he is competent enough to divide his attentions. A skill that will be necessary to lead the nation. Then Biden can say “OH SNAP!”

  59. Phase two:
    A. Barry will not respond immediately to McAged’s cry-nouncement.
    B. Walnut’s hitman and chief pedophile Schmidt will then draft a PR declaring that, just to further his chance to become the first darky president, elist Barry is willing to sacrifice the economy and the ability of the Bitters to buy afford preemo crystal.

    Remember, dear readers, you heard it here first. Off the record, on the QT, and very hush-hush.

  60. [re=106301]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: “You know who I was debating for 5 and a half years? MY VIET CONG CAPTORS WHO TORTURED ME, My Friends!!” lolz

    [re=106305]btwbfdimho[/re]: “I’m suspending my campaign because I already paid a bunch of Rove’s hacks for a risky game plan of juvenile name-calling and mindless tabloid smears, and now that I’m out of money, I can’t afford a new game plan.”

  61. [re=106206]vigilante[/re]: I’m not going to waste my time. Let me guess its some crap about how great nadir is and how he should be our god and he is the best, and eveyrone else is losers

  62. plus you know he’s only suspending the campaign because they don’t have bob evans restaurants nation wide. and with woolworths being regional where is he supposed to buy his jowl toning elixr?

  63. Anyone getting a Ross Perot flashback who left the ’92 race because of aliens at his daughters wedding and then re-entered the race to get under the hood and solve problems.

  64. This vote is important because it actually affects him and his family, unlike the healthcare crisis, the war, foreclosures, the cost of fuel… Way to go Walnuts!

  65. [re=106313]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Since McCain won’t be there, they should have Barack discussing his policies while shooting hoops without a shirt on… :) hahaha

    [re=106318]magic titty[/re]: I still think they should have picked Republican porn star Mary Carey.

  66. Well, Sarah Quaylin needs to demonstrate that she’s ready to step up in a heartbeat, right? So now’s her chance. Let her take over for her boss on Friday and debate Obama in his place. *That* should be mightily entertaining.

  67. If McCain is comparing this to 9/11, does that make Phil Gramm the new Khalid Shaikh Mohammed?

    What we need here is a tasteful painting of Jesus weeping over Wall St.

  68. I guess the dog ate his debate notes. Or his printer isn’t working. Oh, wait, he doesn’t know how to use a computer. Must stick with dog excuse.

  69. [re=106407]magic titty[/re]: Agreed! Maybe Palin can borrow some of Carey’s fingerless white lace gloves for her next fake foreign photo-op meeting with Kim Jong-Il.

  70. [re=106180]lilblackcorvette[/re]: This is the exactly the kind of abrupt pointless shit we can look forward to if he’s President. This man has no place holding executive power. I say his suspended campaign means Obama wins automatically. By forfeit. No timesies-outsies. Jeeeebuz.

  71. The thing that personally sucks for me is that i now have no excuse for getting blind drunk on Friday night. Except for the pending financial meltdown and mobs of homeless khaki wearing bankers roaming the streets of Charlotte as if they were waiting for David Carridine to mow their asses down (bankers points just went up from 75 to 150).

    Blind drunkness, here I come.

  72. [re=106555]magic titty[/re]: I don’t know, do they owe the GOP any favors like Kissinger obviously did? Maybe she’ll start setting up meeting in iHops to ‘share our Americun kulchure with them foreigns.’

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