Wonkette
It’s time for an old-fashioned “fireside chat,” minus the fire, and minus the comforting voice of paternal buddy Franklin “FDR” Roosevelt. Instead, that one guy will be rolled out this evening, Bush Junior. He will awkwardly read from a teleprompter about the dire economic situation and how those lousy Dems better back Paulson’s $700 billion Wall Street bailout. And then America can laugh again, at this dildo who can’t even read. [Fox News]
I love this picture.
Oh yeah, I feel much better now.
DJIA plummets in 4….3….2..
“We’ve got evidence that if we don’t get this thing… this bailout thing or whatever… if we don’t get it passed tomorrow, we’ll go into the 2nd Great Depression. It’s a slam dunk. Show ‘em Condi”
And then Baghdad Bob will appear and claim that we are winning the war against the infidel homeowners.
Would this be a good opportunity to break out the pitchforks? I mean, summer’s over in D.C., the weather’s lovely, it seems like a nice time for a castle storming.
he will be channeling Herbert Hoover
…unless he’s going to down an entire bottle of sleeping pill and Jack Daniels, I have a feeling this will have a negative affect on our economy.
Thank god for Netflix.
Doing a heckuva job, Henry.
We must show Wall Street that we are not afraid. We must go shopping.
Elections have been suspended. Our demands are simple. SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS.
“Gimme yer monies… gimme gimme gimme. All of yer monies are belong to us.”
It’ll be so cute when he announces an economic emergency and suspends the Constitution. Get your serf costume now kids, before there’s a run on the market.
AngryBlakGuy: Bush mumbles = market tumbles
His past two addresses have clocked in under 3 minutes. I’m pretty much expecting another appearance of the bungee president. “The-economy-is-strong-but-Congress-needs-to-move-fast-so-we-don’t-explode-all-over-Canada-and-Mexico-so-viva-la-socialism-and-goodnight!” as he runs away from anyone at all with a microphone or a camera.
Thanks for the new avatar
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Awesome, I heard he will read to us his advanced copy of the sequel to “My Pet Goat”
Well, time to get some tequila and start up the “Preznit Press Confernce Drinking Game.”
facehead: My Pet Moose?
facehead: Which he will read upside down.
McCain is postponing the debate
Got a joke for you:
George Bush was visiting with Queen Elizabeth during his final official trip to the UK.
“Queenie, I think I need to make one last change in America to leave my mark on the place.”
The Queen replied “Really, George? What might that be?”
“Well, I’d like to make America a kingdom.”
“George, the United States cannot be a kingdom because you are not a king.”
“Oh, yeah, right. Well, I’ll make America an empire.”
“No, George, you cannot make the United States an empire. You are not an emperor.”
“Dang. How ’bout a principality?”
“You are not a prince, George.”
“What can I do then?”
To which the Queen replied “I think it is best that the United States stay a country, George.”
Oh yeah, this will help. Everytime he speaks, I fall deeper into a depression.
Tonight’s the night they unveil the new Wonka technology that shrinks Bush to the size of a peanut and deposits him in every living room in America. The thought is that by watching our pets hilariously chase him while listening to his squeaky, pathetically comedic cries for help, we’ll forget about our woes for a while and laugh until our bellies hurt more than our heads.
Sussemilch:Are you Jesse Jackson?
lilblackcorvette: Really? That chickenshit.
he’s suspending his campaign because of the economy thingy in D.C. (Chris MAtthewsMSNBC)
“To the American peoples, I say tonight: ‘Don’t worry, Americas. Daddy’s got it all under his controls’. While this bailout plan I’m forcing ya’ll to swallow might seem like the mother of all oligark pirate fukkjobs, I want the American peoples to know that it was an absolutely necessary step in my efort to make the American peoples think I’m actually doing something and not just runnin’ out the clock on the tragic joke that is my administration. I now return you the season premiere of ‘Americans Got Talents’.”
FlownOver: I used to do drugs too. Ahh this brings back memories. What was I saying? Damn the Hun!
Drudge has his siren out saying McCain wants to delay the debate!
That picture begs for some Blingee, doesn’t it?
tonashideska: If You Give a Moose A Muffin…
holocron: Yay! Rules please?
I’m hearing rumors that McCain is asking the election commission to suspend Friday’s debate so he can vote on the bail out.
Fucking shenanigans. What? The guy can’t vote and debate in the same day? Let me guess… five and a half years right?
I can’t think about a better time to postpone a debate then when everyone is paying attention on a day-to-day basis. Smart move on Walnuts part… keep the base dim and ready for some assfuckin’.
lilblackcorvette: He’s asked to postpone the debate. No word on what Barry says. I think that WALNUTS! just didn’t get a chance to study for his exam.
He is going to stamp his feet so hard. His “But I realllly want it, noooooooooow” is really going to get the Dems to sign off on it. “Fellow ‘Murikans, we need this bailout to save us from my financial and economic policy. Watch me hold my breath until the Democrat Party does what Bushie wants.”
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
…gahhhh, i’m tired of going to bed angry.
Obama should ask the teevee people to hold the time, in order for both candidates to present plans on the economy, and hear directly from the American people.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Muffin Top
Oh there’s still fire, Ken. It’s just not in a neatly contained bundle of logs.
holocron: Well, time to get some tequila and start up the “Preznit Press Conference Drinking Game.”
Ok:
One sip for every reference to the end of this week.
Two sips for every reference to “clean”.
One shot with lime and salt for every reference to the current crisis being the fault of Democrats/Clinton/Obama.
…and when he blames the brown folk for not paying back their mortgages and putting this new burden on the White Man … you must eat the worm.
How does he manage to get his lip to point like that? I’ve tried to do that, and I can’t. Just for fun, not to be sultry or anything.
Terry: This joke will be funny when Sarah Palin is president.
The quintessential picture of Dubya is that one where he’s pulling on the door in vain.
sanantonerose: Reminds me of this Gary Larson classic
I expect that he will be holding a can of Pabst, kicking back in his executive chair with a drunken grin on his face saying, “Hey America, You F^<ked UP!!! You trusted us!!!”