Wonkette
GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures.
Wow… this is everything I could ever hope for and more.
Yep. Mine looked like all of these, pretty much.
I thought that said “Ho Bait”. Which, really, is more appropriate for Larry.
My eyes!
My head hurts.
after looking at these, I can no longer make a fist. Well done.
Is Tinkerbell giving Ahmeninajad a hand job? YOU CAN’T UNRAPE MY BRAIN
You’re ALL winners! But seriously, I think I’m going to have a seizure.
I totally missed the boat on this one. I suppose I do belong on the Straight Talk Express: Geriatric Unit.
Aww. Mine didn’t make it….The one in the middle of the 5 is suspiciously like mine. Who was peeking?
Sparkly. Very sparkly.
Wow, Tinker Bell must be the go-to “blingee” character, as she was used in half.
Was the JD a requirement?
It is like a glitter orgasm.
louveciennes: Not only that, but in Sarah Palin’s America, you will be forced to birth that brain-Blingee offspring.
It comes out through your nose.
Typical lefty liberals.
Giving a valuable prize to a MEXICAN.
Illegal aliens are ruining AMERICA and taking AMERICAN jobs from AMERICANS.
This MEXICAN should go back to MEXICANA and let AMERICANS win bling for a change.
I, for one, am TIRED of being shit on by these PROFESSIONAL ALIENS!
I’m reporting Wonkette to the FCC, the FBI, and FOX NEWS!
Put THAT in your MEXICAN pipe and smoke it, COMMIES!
I’m most disturbed that someone dragged the good name of Hello Kitty and the Sanrio Corporation into this bottom-feeding exercise.
Mine would have been far superior had I bothered to start it.
DOPE. Total win if the KILLER necklace was a leeeetle bit bigger.
These are photos from the Wonkette rave I missed?
How did the dancing skeletors not win?
Can we blingee the Palin family next???? Puhhhleeeeaaasseee.
I suspect some people have just a little too much practice with Blingee. How one finds the time with all the Wonkettering duties I’ll never know.
These must have taken days.
When I was a kid, I would have tried to eat those.
Now I stick with paste.
I really like that President Iran has apparently lost his left eye in the first one.
I’m sooo pissed off at that Ali G mudhafooker, I Borat deserved that interview with Da King.
I am so in love with the world right now.
El Bombastico: You are going to love this. Google “Hello Kitty Vibrator”. For realz. That furry bitch has already sold its soul.
Oh… I like this quite a bit.
Ooooooo! Pretty! Would you like to see my black velvet Elvis painting collection?
El Bombastico:
You OWE ME a paper towel and some windex for that, senor.
We can all learn from the mentally ill.
nice…but how does this help the struggling US armaments industry?…
Dear Hans, I love you. This is the bestest artwork I have seen in like 6 months. I worship you. Please please tell me you are one of my favorite commentators. Even if you’re not, you should absolutely submit this sort of artwork on a weekley bais. That whole comics thing is like from the Gutenberg era. You is truly nextgen.
Mine was far too subtle.
Which one of us is Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm?
The only reaction to this that is possible is to snort a pixie stick.
RobPetrified: Lou? Lou Dobbs? Is that you?
RobPetrified: you’re right. Now, please go out and pick me some lettuce. I’ll give you $0.78 for each bushel.
RobPetrified: Dude. You need to either get some meds, or a job hosting a Fox News show.
Dientes: I second this one! The Palins are secretly down with bling. Grampy just won’t allow it on the campaign trail.
Fuck that hurts my hangover more than Vegas on Sunday at 11 AM.
liberaltruthsayer: Ex-girlfriend owned one. Yes, that is part of the reason she is an ex. That and 9/11 happened and she was a complete twat about it.
Can we do this once a week? Please?
Kev-O-Tron: That entire like thought is very weird.
how about…. 500 pixels wide???
HOWZ ABOUTS ITZ??
Gopherit v2.0: Handz off! Don’t play-jer-eyes! I made that masterpiece and I’m sure my mother would be damn proud! That Spanish or whatever guy did do a pretty good job too, I guess.
RobPetrified: I’m still trying to calculate if this if funny, but if this is indeed freedom rock, by all means, turn it up.
facehead: not me. I AM SPARTACUS
This is like gargling with vodka and confetti.
tunamelt: “weird” as in “makes perfect sense” or “weird” as in “why does he want to play with dolls honey?”
All that glitter is going to make my girlfriend suspicious.
RobPetrified: Gramma?
Kev-O-Tron: both.
You know, sometimes I wonder if the 25 years I devoted to the advancement of networking and internet technology was worth it. Then I see Blingee’s and I realize it really was a tragic waste of time.
Tawmn: I rarely declare comments “winner” because I think it’s totally subjective but that was fucking brilliant man.
Kev-O-Tron: good on the ex thing, she sounded like a small loss there. Esp if she was putting up Hello Kitty against “Kev-O-Tron” as your name implies awesome.
Who needs dope when you’ve got blingee. Gawd. My brain fried a little.
I think this, coupled with some acid is how we torture people at Gitmo.
Please just delete this if I offend the gods, but several of us wonketeers are rocking out in Tuna’s unofficial wonkette chat room. Feel free to come in and have a cactus taco,
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
The Glamour is blinding.
facehead: This is the new “Who is John Galt”, ne pas?
FreshCliches: I don’t know what in tar-nation you’re talking about, but bad french is a real turn on.
Hell to the fuck yeah! I got second!
woah!
winning the prized wonkette-blingee trophy …
what can i say? i owe it all to you, dear snarky posters.
now, dont mess up in november, you hear me?
facehead: Ugh, I cannot get that to work. I give up.
blingee changed everything.
Dientes: Im working on it. I’m now a member of another useless website. Wheeeeeee!
Oh man am I embarrassed. I printed the picture and did it the old fashion way.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Meh first hyperlink: EPIC WIN. w00t
WTF? Jason and the Argonauts’ skeletons in a Britney as Tinkerbell video? C’mon. First the economy, now acid trips suck?
bitbull: Congrats. I knew as soon as I saw the Flaming “HOBBIT” I’d been bested.
bitbull:
november has a capital N.
Are you really from Mexicana?
Your English is pretty good…..TERRORIST!
Wow, this made my night. No, scratch that, like 100 pizzas and ranch dressing would make my night.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: You fuck. I opened that website up and that god damned squeaky voice came shouting through my speakers and woke up my son.
Even though, you still made me laugh like hell.
Bastardo.
HuskyMescan: Yay! I can’t wait…
I’m clearly am going to the wrong parties!
Pimpin!
WTF?
Dientes: Yikes, commitment! no pressure. pushing fingers now!
bitbull: Congratulations!
louveciennes: Yes, I’m glad someone noticed that. Hans, I salute you. My cigar smoking hello kitty and tinkerbell handjob composition pales in comparison to the glittering masterpiece that is your entry.
Fucking-A. That is one hell of a Blingee. I was temporarily blinded. I need to get one of those that covers the entire rear windshield of my 1977 Pinto, ‘cuz then I would be kick ass. We need to distribute that Blingee on signs before WALNUTS! “Town Hall Meetings” ™ so McPasty loses the ability to speak or even breathe when he sees them. We could put that on condoms, and thereby make the need for a condom redundant through enforced flaccidity. We should fly that over the tribal regions of Pakistan so that the Taliban will know that Allah has returned. We should…
KK — quietz now.
Viewing those made me require an extra bolus of insulin. And I’m not even diabetic.
This is so much cooler than Politico. There Blingee contest blew chunks.
remember when Ahmadinejad said there were no gays in Iran? well guess who’s joined the NOT GAY list?!?!? http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/23/clay.aiken.ap/index.html
Thank you! I just laughed so hard beer came out my nose.
I am suing all of the winners for multiple epileptic fits.
Please tell me you determined the winner using the Whore-Diamond™ rating system.
off-white working class: This is distressing news.
But Sarah Baracooter will cure him and all will be right.
Faith is a wonderful thing. Just ask George Michae…
Gah, fags are everywhere!
at this particular time, A-Mod ain’t the biggest crook, jerk or asshole in NYC.
Oh man, how did I miss THIS today?! Damn my actually having to work one day of the week
I hope you guys do this again!
You just didn’t like mine because I said you snore.
I tried to be straight up gangsta with DOPE but I was FAR out blingeed. Next time I will be sure to include more blingee to blingee.
Sirened: Your piles of cash were classic. Classic, I say!
I thought there were no fairies in Iran.
Still, I spend the whole day in bed sick, and I miss the Blingee contest? No fair. Heck, Han’s did such a good job that I thought it was Larry King and El Debarge circa 1986.
off-white working class: the mother’s name is Jaymes? that is going to be one confused kid!
Actually, just realized the third one down with Jack Bauer flashing may get extra play in the Muslim world, as there’s that injunction in Islam about depicting heads and faces in art.
How culturally/religously transcedant of the artiste.
This is better than that “safe porn for work” stuff….well, almost.
http://my.mmoabc.com/article/knockout/3243/Safe-for-work-PORN-Part-1.html?login=no
Digging on Tinkerbell myself…
RobPetrified: worse.
i´m german.
RobPetrified: Great screen name and avatar
Blingee. Rules. Wonkette can haz opened my eyes. I made one with potatoes in the name of science: http://blogs.discovery.com/news_feedblog/
I’m SPEACHLESS!