• May 27, 2012

Joe Biden Screwing Up 900 Times An Hour

by Jim Newell  4:51 pm September 23, 2008

Here’s Joe Biden putting his mitts all over some hippie gal and telling her “we’re not supporting clean coal,” which is comically the opposite of what his campaign is officially supporting.

Biden — who has also fucked up a couple of other times in the last three seconds — shares the same problem with Bill Clinton: when there are Video Cameras in your face, they are probably recording, and they’re probably going to be uploaded to the YouTubes later. Not just recording for a family video collection! Uploaded. Memorize that word, Crazy Joe. “Uploaded.” Again: “Uploaded.”

UPLOADED ONTO THE INTERNET.

[ThinkProgress]

{ 49 comments }

columnv September 23, 2008 at 4:53 pm

He needs square glasses

El Topo September 23, 2008 at 4:55 pm

But he’s so clean and articulate–for a cracker.

Sussemilch September 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm

When people ask me a simple question I like to put a hand on each shoulder and scream into their face too. It means I like you. Embrace my friendship spittle.

Delicious September 23, 2008 at 4:56 pm

Obama needs to hide Biden like McCain is hiding Palin.

Drudge really worked this today, but the impending death of America kinda pushed it aside.

BTW, Jim, liveblog Ahmadinejad’s press conference! Haha

Gopherit v2.0 September 23, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Awww, Joe. Save the bullshit for the events with no cameras. You know, party fundraisers and such. Don’t make me wish Obama had picked Napolitano now.

Larry Fine September 23, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Robert Loggia can play the lead in the soon to be released, “The Joe Biden Story”.

grendel September 23, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Hey, who hasn’t lied to a hippy chick to get into her pants? I say we give Joe a pass, ’cause his first wife died for like five and a half years in a car accident and made him have to ride the terrible terrible train.

sezme September 23, 2008 at 5:00 pm

He’s batshit crazy, but in an attractive way.

Itsjustme September 23, 2008 at 5:01 pm

He must be very confident of his breath. He is way too in her personal space.

whore4hope September 23, 2008 at 5:04 pm

The problem is they shouldn’t be supporting “clean coal.” Poor Biden got confused between good policy and his requisite pandering.

shortsshortsshorts September 23, 2008 at 5:06 pm

When Barry is turning coal into diamonds, we will have no use for clean burning coal.

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 23, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=105099]Sussemilch[/re]: No joke. Get your big ol’ grandpa face out of mine, mister!

MISTAHCOUGHDROP September 23, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Oh, dear it’s the END OF THE WORLD (again): http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/

Hairy Reed September 23, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=105121]whore4hope[/re]: ftw

[re=105116]Itsjustme[/re]: how about BOTH hands on BOTH her shoulders?

ladymacbeth September 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

actually he reminds me of my dad: wearing a blue blazer saying things that are quite often wrong but in a charming, old boy network kinda way. he should have a glass of port with him at all times.

i like joe and none of you haters is going to change that.

WadISay September 23, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Thank you, cameraman, for not showing Joe grinding his pelvis into this poor girl.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland September 23, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Moments later, Chinese plants in the Secret Service – hair bleached blond, cheap Hyundai ear buds and giant clown shoes – arrested the coal-loving hippie girl and whisked her off to a secret prison camp in Tibet, where she’ll spend the rest of her life gilding fake buddha statues for export to California.

Good for Joe Biden for nabbing this awful, horrible, hatin’ hippie girl!

SayItWithWookies September 23, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Old Clean Coal was a merry old soul,
And a merry old soul was he –
He called for his stash and he called for his bowl
And deregulated the industry.

RubberSoul September 23, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Did someone replace Joe Biden with Gary Busey?

But seriously, play this clip right after Caribou Barbie’s “fungible molecules” clip. You’ll feel a lot better. I did.

Itsjustme September 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=105133]Hairy Reed[/re]: Shaking the Paultard out of her.

nietzscheprojectile September 23, 2008 at 5:35 pm

He’s just like an overly inappropriate college professor after a couple of drinks. You know, it just goes with the territory.

Strappo September 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm

where have the hair plugs gone? i love joe biden!

1ofUS September 23, 2008 at 5:43 pm

I went to wash up with some of that clean coal cleanser and wound up looking like a Barack man from Obama.

liberaltruthsayer September 23, 2008 at 5:52 pm

Ow. My head hurtz.

BaxterJones September 23, 2008 at 5:52 pm

Well, I guess this makes things interesting at least.

http://www.entertonement.com/collections/4089/Joe-Biden-On-Clean-Coal

tripsydaily September 23, 2008 at 6:05 pm

That was uncomfortable.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff September 23, 2008 at 6:31 pm

I want to know Joebama’s plan to get me more rocket fuel in meh water.

sanantonerose September 23, 2008 at 6:37 pm

[re=105107]Larry Fine[/re]: Robert Loggia. YUM. That voice.

RaptorAvatar September 23, 2008 at 6:38 pm

You’re allowed to touch people like that without robbing/scolding/teaching them about sex?

eatsshootsleaves September 23, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Why do I love Joe Biden more every time he fucks up? As long as he doesn’t say anything sexist/actually harmful to the campaign, and I’ll forgive him for basically everything.

Mr. Herpes September 23, 2008 at 7:23 pm

When will the nation wake up and realize Delaware isn’t a state, it’s long-term parking for Baltimore and Philadelphia. Biden is alot like having a young Ed McMahon as your senator. Who’s our guest tonight, Johnny?

populucious September 23, 2008 at 7:36 pm

Like UFOs and the yeti, I am not personally convinced in the existance of this mysterious “clean coal”. However, I DO think that a legitimate response to questions about it from earnest co-eds MIGHT be something along the lines of “What the hell you gonna do? Vote for the McCain energy plan, which will put oil derricks into every schoolroom and nuucuuuluuur reactors into your basement? Welcome to Pragmatismland, Earnestine!”

But Joe Biden probably prefers his approach. Who am I to question such great statesmanship?

sometimes September 23, 2008 at 7:44 pm

Uh, I think it’s important to point out that this video (at least according to its description on its youtube page) is from 2006, before he was with Obama’s campaign.

The Gordo September 23, 2008 at 8:11 pm

[re=105288]Mr. Herpes[/re]: When will the nation wake up and realize Delaware isn’t a state, it’s long-term parking for Baltimore and Philadelphia.

I believe the meme is “FTW”. Bravo sir.

Lumberjack September 23, 2008 at 8:20 pm

Nature abhors a straight-talk vacuum. He is just trying to fill in for the lack of McPalin idiocy. He gets a pass.

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 23, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Coal plants in what respect, Charlie?

jasonelias September 23, 2008 at 9:02 pm

Joe was getting a little too familiar with that young girl. I bet he got a woody.

jibreelriley September 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Must keep Joe… PS: Thank you for giving us Ohio

-The GOP

Trixie September 23, 2008 at 9:21 pm

The best thing that ever happened to Joe Biden was Sarah Palin. No one’s paid any attention to him. Thank God.

Beer4Prez September 23, 2008 at 9:27 pm

what the feck is he blaming China for? Didn’t he watch the Olympics?

texette September 23, 2008 at 9:49 pm

Holy Cow- I LOVE this guy! He actually gave an informed answer, in a plain ‘ol way that we all understand! He is passionate too! Ok, little too much passion and touchy, but he knows something!

Damn, they are so going to lose.

edgydrifter September 23, 2008 at 10:51 pm

For shizzle, does Joe Biden have to choke a beeeyotch?

snig September 23, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Clean coal means different things to different people.

http://www.thermoenergy.com/energyTechnology.html seems near perfect, but maybe only ’cause it hasn’t been built large scale yet.

These have been built with mixed success
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IGCC

It also refers to weaker attempts which amount to little more than updated smoke stacks.

My guess is he’s going to say he was referring to the evil clean coal, not the virtuous largely theoretical clean coal.

Also, none of these address the environmental toxicity and hazards of mining the stuff in the first place.

Disclaimer: I’m in the tank.

TheRealJimbo September 23, 2008 at 11:56 pm

Is there any possible way in the world we could have the VP debates with both candidates standing face to face like that?

I’d pay money to see them live and buy the DVD box set. And not download it illegally, either.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 24, 2008 at 1:28 am

I can’t wait for the VP debate.. I love Joey B. but can’t seem to shake the thought that he will say something to the Ice Queen that will be misconstrued fodder for the Repub shit machine. I still think he’s gonna wipe the floor with her ass (or failed beauty-queen-in-a-bubble ‘intellect’).

Bigbruther September 24, 2008 at 2:52 am

I could do some wicked Blingee on that freeze frame. Almost as good as all them Ahma-whatever-the-fuck/Larry King winners.

snig September 24, 2008 at 7:59 am

I wonder if Tina Fey’s going to be Biden’s practice dummy for the debate.

DoctorCulturae September 24, 2008 at 9:19 am

smokefilledroomate: I have to believe there is a big room full of Obamy One Barackies figuring out the best presentational strategy for Our Man Joe. One liners? Appropriate tone responses to the inevitable inanities of Gov. Gams?

Joe plays to the crowd constantly. I’d hate to see him do that too much in the debate because no matter what he says the Rovians will make that the issue. With that tone if he says “I love apple pie” they’ll say he wants to tax all desserts in ‘Merica.

I’m wondering if his best gambit will be to imitate Hopey: be cool, direct, Preznidetial, use his Biden-ness in very small doses, accentuating Gov. Harpo’s wingnuttiness.

tweak September 24, 2008 at 10:11 am

Palin played by Fey, Biden coached by Amy Pohler and played by Robert Loggia; could be a great alternative to the real thing.

The debate will clearly be dominated by a discussion of economic theory. Palin will defend the results of the Milton Friedman/Arthur Laffer school of American prosperity through monetarism and tax reduction, and Joe Biden will be trying to remember Keynesian macroeconomic theory.

I think they are both up to the task.

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