If you’re going to do a 30-second spot about John McCain going to Bermuda to defend offshore tax shelters, you should show like FRUITY DRINKS and Bo Derek prancing in the surf and joyful black people playing steel drums. Oh wait is that all Jamaica? Anyway, in this ad all you see is creepy photos of John McCain in his creepy sunglasses, which morph like the Terminator. Just … ick. ["Destination" ad via Ben Smith]
DARK AND STORMY
September 23, 2008
New Anti-McCain Ad Insufficiently Comical
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{ 37 comments }
Respect my authoritaeh!
Johnny needs to get out of the sun
I thought the steel drums were kind of refreshing…maybe because I hate my job and want to be anywhere but in front of this piece-of-shit puter.
They should hire an actor to play McCain in these ads, like Morgan Freeman.
Is that really Bermuda or will this be like McCain’s folks mistaking a California middle school for Walter Reed Army Medical Hospital?
From the perspective of cinematic effectiveness, this should be followed by 30 seconds of ominous – a la Darth Vader – music whilst John McTerminator rips people’s heads off and feeds them to hungry, undead, corporate Saudi princes.
This ad is to persuasion what Ishtar is to the cinema.
The real problem is that McCain takes elitist vacations to tropical island destinations. That’s the real punchline in the ad. What if the bad guys were hiding their dough offshore in Reno or in Branson, MO? No dice there, mate. That’s ‘Murcan vacation time.
[re=104380]WadISay[/re]: Who cares about teh cinema? Teh elitists, that’s who.
I’m sorry, I have a really short attention span. I heard a lot of words, but didn’t understand any of them. Is this ad trying to suggest that John McCain is gay?
Have we entered the silly season yet? Yes, because that’s TOM CRUISE, not McCain, and that’s not Bermuda, it’s Viet Nam, and it wasn’t insurance agents, it was his Chinese Overlords who made sure he was Hypmotized into marrying a 9 foot tall woman, Now he’s not a movie star anymore. He’s a stand-in for Walnuts! who passed away from cancer of the truth gland 7 years ago.
If you’re going to do an ad about Bermuda, you should show Jacqueline Bisset in a wet T-shirt!
[re=104373]facehead[/re]: brilliant
Too bad Red Foxx isn’t around anymore.
Here’s an oddly soothing video on the McCain’s latest tactic of blaming the press:
Click Here.
With a little fine tuning here and there you could tweak this ad to point out that McCain was doing some Brazilian lady back in the day.
I’m not sure a candidate with a Senator from f-ing DELAWARE as his VP should throw too many stones at Bermuda. Delaware is pretty much a tax haven masquerading as a state.
[re=104391]Delicious[/re]: Redd Foxx
http://www.bizarrerecords.com/galleries/animals/FoxxAss.jpg
[re=104392]Serolf Divad[/re]: McCain’s senior advisor is a conehead!?!?
Chuckle-rific. A “methinks thou doth protest too much” about protesting moment.
Don’t these people do their research? McCain has to vacation in sunny tax shelters — because he was tortured — in POW camp. While his arms were being ripped out of their sockets, he swore an oath, just before passing out from the intense pain, that if he survived that ordeal he would never force a corporation to bear the odious burden of fair taxation. Geeze, I hope this doesn’t backfire on the Obama campaign.
[re=104394]slavojzizek[/re]:
Tax haven and massive producer of chickens. Oh, and toll booths.
John McCain went to Bermuda and he STILL isn’t tan.
[re=104394]slavojzizek[/re]: But at least its OUR tax haven, not belonging to some fucking limey bastards….
If you think Bermuda is “exotic,” what about Fiji? Here’s a comment from something that you really MUST read, written by a woman who spent her vacation in 2000 with some asshole named John McCain:
“However, now that there is a very real possibility that McCain could be elected as our next president, I feel it is my duty as an American citizen to share this story. I can’t imagine a more scary outcome for America than that this abusive, aggressive man should lead our nation. I have observed him in intimate surroundings as he really is, not how the media portrays him to be. If his attitudes toward women and his treatment of his own family are even a small indicator of his real personality, then I shudder to think what will happen to America were he to be elected as our President.”
For a first-person account of What John McCain Did On His Summer Vacation, see:
http://www.blueoregon.com/2008/09/character-matte.html
And for more on McCain the Uber-Patriot who fucked over his fellow POWs, see:
http://www.nationinstitute.org/p/schanberg09182008pt1
[re=104392]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Give that baby a bottle. I mean the one on the left….
[re=104397]facehead[/re]: There are a lot of freaky looking Republicans. Hmm…
[re=104406]Canuckledragger[/re]: Jesus H Christ! He read Faulkner to the other guests at meal times? That’s got to be against the Geneva conventions right there.
[re=104401]Terry[/re]: No shit! You spend about fifty bucks to drive the fifteen miles across the state on the way from DC to NY.
[re=104392]Serolf Divad[/re]: yes, i enjoyed that.
now, as for the bermuda ad. w.t.f. can’t they hire some fucking elitists to put one together. this one is the shittiest I’ve seen yet.
[re=104476]Norbert[/re]: Yea, but for people who remember the ’80′s they are going to confuse Bermuda with the Bahamas.
Because McCain had something like 12 or so luxury Bahama trips with his BFF Charles Keating. Private jet, palatial villa,
silly hats, etc. And it will also remind them of the time their parents lost their life savings in the first banking failure and bail out.
McCain and Greenspan were lucky to get off.
But it will also remind people McCain learned nothing from this experience, major FAIL.
Why did we not stick him in jail back then? Because of FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!
[re=104406]Canuckledragger[/re]: Much as I detest McSame, I smell BS in the vacation boor account. I can’t picture even McCain disparaging his own adopted daughter in such a fashion. What’s that saying about becoming that which we are fighting?
couldn’t they photoshop in a reflection of small naked island children wearing dog collars into those glasses?
Couldn’t they have reflected funnier stuff in his eyes? Or made them comically bug out? Plus isn’t there at least one picture of McCain with maracas they could have photoshopped in there? With a fruit hat?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
[re=104378]Terry[/re]: Yeah — that’s a photo of Horseshoe Beach in Bermuda. Not that I am an elitist who knows much about sunny Bermuda and the celebrities and insurance execs who live there.
Is this McCain ad sufficiently comical:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58xsx0aqLnI
Pardon my previous misplaced modifier. i’ve been living in shame since this morning.
[re=104515]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: I agree. It’d be believable for him to say “Oh, that was Cindy’s idea – I didn’t have anything to do with it.” I’ve read similar things elsewhere, after all. Credibility starts to wane with the use of “thing” in the next sentence: “She just went and adopted this thing without even asking me.”
And it seems completely fabricated when you read this bit: “You can’t imagine how people stare when I wheel this ugly, black thing around in a shopping cart in Arizona.” If you’re going fabricate, do it will some level of believability. Like a public figure like McCain is really stupid enough to call his adopted child an “ugly, black thing” to someone he doesn’t know all that well, even if he didn’t want anything to do with her.
That’s the same fun music from those Girls Gone Wild Commercials! That is a secret dig on John McCain, because he cannot raise his arms above his head to show us his cans, due to torture, Alan.
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